Dad's condition is worse

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

Dad has been in the NH now for 6 1/2 months. He has been really

declining over the past 2 months. He has lost over 40 pounds. He

says he just doesn't feel like eating, or he doesn't feel hungry, or

he just doesn't feel good. Some days he eats better than others and

some days he doesn't eat at all. His mind is still really good and

we have no behavior issues, I thank God daily for that. Lately,

(over the past 4 weeks or so) he just sits and stares or just

sleeps. He doesn't really carry a conversation. He will answer

what we ask and that is about it. Mostly he just sleeps. On

Friday, Dec. 30th, I was in around noon as I always am and he wasn't

responding to anything. He does this on occasion so I really didn't

think much of it. After sitting with him for about an hour or so, I

noticed his breathing was different, 3 deep breaths and then no

breathing. He would do this over and over. I called for a nurse to

take his vital signs and my dad's pulse was 42. They called the MD

and he wanted my dad taken to the ER for evaluation for a

pacemaker. I called my sisters and discussed it with them and we

decided NOT to have the pacemaker. My dad had just discussed dying

with me a week ago. He told me he is ready to go be with my mom.

The ironic part is, my mom died 5 years ago on Dec. 30th! We rode

out the evening with my dad showing very little response to

anything. His pulse eventually dropped to 36 and they told me I

should call in the family. I did and everyone came. I bawled my

eyes out to think that I might lose my dad on the same exact day

that I lost my mom. But, he pulled through! By 11:30 that night,

his vitals were stable. He was talking to us a little and he was

stable. By the next morning he was sitting up in bed eating

breakfast! His pulse was back up to 80. He is still very weak and

his pulse is back down to 48 tonight. So, what do you all think?

Is this something we will have to take day by day now? It this part

of the dying process or the disease process or both? Any thoughts?

This is so hard. I am ready for my dad to be free of this dreaded

beast even though I know that it will still be hard. No matter how

ready you think you are, you are never really prepared! I have

cried so many tears since Friday night. I really don't think I can

take watching him suffer. I have had about all I can take. In the

past 6 years I have watched my mom and my 20 year old niece suffer

from cancer. My niece was burried Dec. 30, 1999. My mom died Dec.

30, 2000. When my dad goes I hope it is without alot of suffering.

I hope God is merciful and takes him peacefully. You are all in my

thoughts and prayers.

Donna P.