Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 Gaye D wrote: > I tell you what I DID find offensive, people going on to goad > with their assumption the she may well change her mind about her > childfree status...I do not see any reason to believe she will ever > change her mind...but even so, I hope with all my heart that she > doesn't, because has no ovaries...as all those taunting her > knew perfectly well... To be fair, Gaye, it was that brought up the childfree thing, and if the natural result of that is people saying that someday she may change her mind, then that is just the way it goes. If a person is particularly sensitive about a topic (and I do not think is on this one), she should not bring it up. The presence or lack of ovaries is not relevant; she may change her mind (not terribly likely) later in life; that is just a fact. I am presumably fertile, and I want no children either, and I am pretty sure I'm never going to change my mind about wanting kids, and I doubt that is any different in that way. > I do not personally get on with Sparrow, but I am still bewildered as > to why Nanne should imply that she has some " dirty secret " to be > exposed, when her quarrel is with , not Sparrow...why should > Sparrow pay for her problem with ? You misunderstood Nanne. She was implying no such thing. Nanne's message (the one you are referring to) contained this excerpt: > While we're talking about 'my' problems, how about discusing those of > yours --- which are talking about and making fun of people behind > their backs (INCLUDING YOUR BOYFRIEND, AND SPARROW), and then turning > around and being a completely different way to them??? And at the end of that same letter, Nanne wrote: > Oh, and have you told Sparrow yet about what you REALLY thought about > her 'other life'??? yeah, I thought not. This is not Nanne threatening to reveal a secret about Sparrow. This is Nanne again saying that was being two-faced; that was saying one thing to Sparrow about this " other life, " but then saying other things about the " other life " behind Sparrow's back. > People are just choosing to be cruel to other people and I do not see > why. You don't see why because you misunderstood what one of the people was saying. Not all of this story has been on-list. Some of it has been going on in private. It is unfortunate that it happened to " play out " in public on the list. I hope that the offended parties can take the flames to private email and refrain from attacking on the list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 > Trust me, we ALL have dirty secrets, and even clean secrets we prefer to > stay private under our own control...and if anybody thinks it's cool to use > those as weapons, be warned, I can play a MEAN HAND of " Harper Valley PTA " > myself... Gaye, you rock! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 Klein danced around singing: >If a person is >particularly sensitive about a topic (and I do not think is on >this one), she should not bring it up. No, you're right, I'm not. The thing is, though, imho the whole " don't talk about it if you're overly sensitive " applies to both parents and childfree, not just the minority group. Also, regardless of what one's preference is, as long as they are not actively hurting others, I don't think that personal attacks are justifiable. > > People are just choosing to be cruel to other people and I do not see > > why. > >You don't see why because you misunderstood what one of the people was >saying. Not all of this story has been on-list. Some of it has been >going on in private. Actually, even the other people either in the " story " or totally aware of it don't understand the whole point of the flames or nastiness either. (I'm referring to Sparrow, Parrish, , and myself, at the very least.) > It is unfortunate that it happened to " play out " >in public on the list. I hope that the offended parties can take the >flames to private email and refrain from attacking on the list. I admire you for your patience. I simply " moderate " people that outright can't follow the one rule stated on lists I run. Not ones that disagree with me, as I've had plenty do that and do enjoy rational discussions (just ask Parrish, it's a favorite past-time of ours :*) but those that break the " no flaming " rule -- by posting in all caps, intentional name-calling, etc. -- are given a day or two to cool down, then moderated. DeGraf ~*~ http://www.sonic.net/mustang/moggy " You're a hero. You *can't* be a coward! " " Oh, can't I just! " -- Wynne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 Out of respect for 's choices I had better say this part publicly, in case anybody else gets the wrong idea. I feel sure isn't going to change her mind about her childfree status. But the people who tried to claim that she will, ostensibly did not believe that. There are only two ways to see it. a) They genuinely believed she could change her mind and were being sadistic. They knew she would not change her mind yet were falsely effecting to believe that she would just to bait her and be sadistic. Neither is open to innocent interpretation any way I look at it. Gaye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 --- Gaye D wrote: > > > I tell you what I DID find offensive, people going > on to goad with > their assumption the she may well change her mind > about her childfree > status...I do not see any reason to believe she will > ever change her > mind...but even so, I hope with all my heart that > she doesn't, because > has no ovaries...as all those taunting her > knew perfectly well... ---------What list did that happen on? It didn't happen here, and that NEVER came from me. I saw a lot of people get upset because one woman (forget who) responded to the l6 year old that " you might change your mind " , and everyone got up in arms about that, which was ridiculous considering the age of the person (l6) the post was directed to. > > Don't you realise it is cruel to try and persuade a > woman with no ovaries to > want a child? Or do you realise and not care? ------Who are you talking to? If you're talking to me, you've got the wrong person. I never said any such thing, nor would I, and I truly resent your implying that I ever did, so go butt out! > > It made my blood run cold. > --------Well what a waste of energy on your poor blood system, then, because no one here or on AS & P said any such horrid thing that you're claiming! Nanne ===== " Let's go get drunk on light again---it has the power to console. " -- Seurat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 Gaye D danced around singing: >I feel sure isn't going to change her mind about her childfree >status. But the people who tried to claim that she will, ostensibly did not >believe that. There are only two ways to see it. > >a) They genuinely believed she could change her mind and were being >sadistic. > They knew she would not change her mind yet were falsely effecting to >believe that she would just to bait her and be sadistic. > >Neither is open to innocent interpretation any way I look at it. I have to agree... If it was just a calm discussion about the benefits/drawbacks to parenting or childfreedom, then I'd find it really interesting. However, the posts I've gotten re: my preference remind me more of the sort of treatment I get from the NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) portions of my family or have seen from other manipulative-type bullies -- name-calling/flaming/etc until the person loses his/her temper, then turning around and proclaiming the reaction is " proof " that the victim is bad. I have zero clue *why* people do that, but generally (as with bullies/NPDs) the best thing to do is shrug and find something better to do than pay attention to them. DeGraf ~*~ http://www.sonic.net/mustang/moggy " I for one do NOT want to be part of a culture that thinks it's ok to taunt tease and destroy those who differ from the majority. " -- K. Yelbis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 --- Gaye D wrote: > Out of respect for 's choices I had better say > this part publicly, in > case anybody else gets the wrong idea. > > I feel sure isn't going to change her mind > about her childfree > status. But the people who tried to claim that she > will, ostensibly did not > believe that. There are only two ways to see it. > > a) They genuinely believed she could change her mind > and were being > sadistic. > They knew she would not change her mind yet were > falsely effecting to > believe that she would just to bait her and be > sadistic. > > Neither is open to innocent interpretation any way I > look at it. > > Gaye -----------No, there is a third way to view it, yours, and I want to know what drugs you were on when when reading that thread? If that happened on AspergerCircle, then go say those things to whoever said them Over There. To say that people said them here, is, once again.......Another Lie. Stop trying to twist this mess up into something even worse than it already is!! Nanne ===== " Let's go get drunk on light again---it has the power to console. " -- Seurat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 Cerulean wrote: > -----------No, there is a third way to view it, yours, and I want to > know what drugs you were on when when reading that thread? Nanne, cut it out. You can address her point without the insults. The same is true of . Even if you feel justified in making the insults, they're disruptive to the list, and are against the only real rule on the list. Please rein in the rhetoric and the nastiness. It is not helping matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 Klein danced around singing: >Nanne, cut it out. You can address her point without the insults. The >same is true of . Even if you feel justified in making the >insults, they're disruptive to the list, and are against the only real >rule on the list. Please rein in the rhetoric and the nastiness. It is >not helping matters. *bewildered* I agree, but...er...what insults have I made? All I've been saying (repeatedly) in the last 24 hours is that I prefer calm discussion, not flames. DeGraf ~*~ http://www.sonic.net/mustang/moggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 DeGraf wrote: > Klein danced around singing: >> Nanne, cut it out. You can address her point without the insults. >> The same is true of . Even if you feel justified in making >> the insults, they're disruptive to the list, and are against the >> only real rule on the list. Please rein in the rhetoric and the >> nastiness. It is not helping matters. > > *bewildered* I agree, but...er...what insults have I made? All I've > been saying (repeatedly) in the last 24 hours is that I prefer calm > discussion, not flames. No, sorry, I did not mean you were insulting anyone. I meant for Nanne to stop attacking you too, not just Gaye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2003 Report Share Posted June 19, 2003 --- Klein wrote: > Cerulean wrote: > > > -----------No, there is a third way to view it, > yours, and I want to > > know what drugs you were on when when reading that > thread? > > > Nanne, cut it out. You can address her point > without the insults ..... -------Fine, , now will you request that Gaye stop spreading lies about things people here did *not* say???? Nanne ===== " Let's go get drunk on light again---it has the power to console. " -- Seurat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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