One year anniversary

[Guest guest]

Well I've made it a year.

Here's my story. I had been going to the doctor for around six months

with chest pains and trouble breathing. After many tests and trips to

the doctor, at least once a week, I was told that I had a lung

infection. Even after no change in my condition or the way I felt they

kept doing more test and still had no answers.

On 12/29/03 I went to work and passed out when I walked through the

door. My helper brought me home and then with my wife's pushy attitude

took me to the emergency room where I underwent emergency quadruple

bypass.

I came home from the hospital five days later.

Thirty days later I went back to work with no restrictions. Imagine that.

I did fine until sometime in June when I started having severe chest

pains again. At least not from my heart or so they say. I haven't

worked since August now. They will not give me anything to get rid of

the pain. Most mornings I can not even get out of bed by myself.

I'm becoming afraid even to drive. Afraid as to what might happen if I

have one of my spells (as my wife tells our kids). So far they have

only been breathing problems and slight dizziness (which sometimes I

do have to sit down or grab a hold of something to steady myself).

They just happen. I've tried to figure out what brings them on myself

with no luck.

My left arm will not raise any higher than my shoulder without

creating a excruciating pain. And now they say that the pain in my

chest is due to having carpel tunnel in my left wrist. I am having

surgery on my left had wrist on the 14th on January. I've been assured

(80%) that this will take care of it. I think I have heard this

before.

I have been experiencing muscle cramps in my arms and legs. When I lay

down and try to sleep they drive me crazy. I've mentioned it every

time I've went to the doctor. He didn't seem worried. Never has.

Sleep, thats another one of my problems. I no longer can sleep. I stay

up for days at a time. When I do fall asleep; it's never for more than

two to three hours at a time. Usually there are many hours between

these little catnaps.

SEX DRIVE, whats that. I have none any more.

Scars. I have one about 3/4 " long on my left leg. It seems to have

healed with no problem. The one on my chest is somewhere around ten to

twelve inches. The bottom three to five inches is about 1/2 " wide and

still raised up quite a bit. It stays red and itches almost

constantly. The top part of it is fine. It looks well healed.

As far as meds go I take Crestoer, Toprol, Gabapentin, and Welbutrin.

I take Vitamin E, garlic, CQ-10, Polisncal, B-6, Fish Oil, and aspirin

also.

Depression. Why shouldn't I be depressed. I turned forty in September.

The last year has been a real learning experience. My life has became

a crawl every day.

The only advice I have is not to push it. Take your own sweet time

healing and getting back into things. Make sure you feel ready not the

doctor. I think that my major problem was I was forced back to work

way to soon just because I felt really well and had no insurance at

the time. Everyone wanted me to go back to work so I could start

paying what I owed them. This is something that I really do believe.

And now due to this fact I am no longer able be the person I was or at

least I don't feel like that person.

Enough. I'll hush.

I hope everyone had a great Yule, Christmas, Hanuka, or what every you

celebrate. May the Mother keep you well and in her thoughts for the

next year.

--

hefreels@...