Guest guest Posted January 12, 2006 Report Share Posted January 12, 2006 Hi all, Just an update on dad. Last week we " camped out " at the home thinking he wasn't going to make it. His blood pressure and pulse had dropped so low and he was totally unresponsive for better than 2 days. He had no meds and nothing to eat or drink for that 2 days. Starting in to the third day, he began to arouse. (To be honest, I wasn't sure if I should be happy about this or not) He had seemed to know us all and asked for something to drink. He had difficulty swallowing at first but as the day went on, he was able to swallow ok. He had a couple of really good days where he was very alert and talkative. Then the meds must have got back in him and he was more quiet and slept more. Twice since then he went out on us again for about 18 hours each time. The second time the Doctor was in and actually got to witness it. I was glad for that. My dad has had mostly bad days the past 2 weeks, but he has had a few where he went to the diningroom at the NH to eat his meals. We have noticed more confused periods at times and more hallucinations. I guess you just take each day as it comes. I just have a very hard time watching the bad days. Many a day I am leaving the home in tears anymore. I read the post from Courage about praying that God remembers to take your parent. I know exactly how she feels. I feel the same way sometimes and then I feel guilty for feeling that way. I don't want to seem selfish but I also hate to see him suffer. I have worked in nursing homes and taken care of many people with many different diseases but this is one of the worst. I hate this disease. I hate what it does to the person and also what it does to the family. It puts you all on such an emotional roller coaster. Somebody stop the ride, I want to get off!!! I have cried enough tears, I want to be happy again. My dad has moments when he is so very with it and knows what is going on (MOST OF THE TIME). He is so sad. He WANTS to die. He has told me that. He said, " I lay in this bed, I sit in this chair and I look out the window. This isn't living! I want to be with our mother. " How do I argue with that? He was always so independent and now he depends on someone for everything. He hates it. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, Donna P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 Hello Donna P. and All, Have a very short moment to write, but just wanted to tell you I am going through the same thing you are as we speak! We thought my Uncle was GONE and Hospice was steering me towards making phone calls to pick a mortuary. Today, he is up-and-at-em, wandering from room to room, getting into things and " looking " for something. He wants to go to the restaurant at lunch time because he wants something different to eat. A bit more " gourmet " than I have been serving him. Ha! I reminded him that he has a swallowing problem and is on a strict soft-food diet because he refuses to swallow a liquid diet. He argues with me that he can swallow just fine and that's a bunch of bunk. To save time with what I feel is coming next, the aggressiveness that you all have been talking about! I invite him to prove that he can swallow and eat a piece of toast. He quickly remembers the last time he ate a piece of toast, 3 months ago, and shivered at the thought of what happened when he couldn't swallow it, then changed the subject to the " I need " category. We have been doing this all morning....he can barely stand up, goes over to the Bombay chest, stooping over so much that he almost falls forward, starts looking through the drawers, apparently looking for what he needs, all the while drooling over everything because he has a brown cough drop in his mouth to help with the rattle in his chest that indicates he might be getting pneumonia, and trying to tell me that I must go now and get what he wants. This from a man who two days ago was catatonically sleeping on and off for a week with his eyes barely open and barely able to put his coffee cup to his lips to take a sip on his own! You are so right! This damn disease is such a ROLLER COASTER ON YOUR EMOTIONS that you don't know if you are coming or going with them! gotto go....he's in the dining room buffet looking for chocolate!.....will write later, Stevie p.s...I had a moment to read (scan) that Dena got Hospice for your Mom! Good job! * * * * * * * * * * * Hi all, Just an update on dad. Last week we " camped out " at the home thinking he wasn't going to make it. His blood pressure and pulse had dropped so low and he was totally unresponsive for better than 2 days. He had no meds and nothing to eat or drink for that 2 days. Starting in to the third day, he began to arouse. (To be honest, I wasn't sure if I should be happy about this or not) He had seemed to know us all and asked for something to drink. He had difficulty swallowing at first but as the day went on, he was able to swallow ok. He had a couple of really good days where he was very alert and talkative. Then the meds must have got back in him and he was more quiet and slept more. Twice since then he went out on us again for about 18 hours each time. The second time the Doctor was in and actually got to witness it. I was glad for that. My dad has had mostly bad days the past 2 weeks, but he has had a few where he went to the diningroom at the NH to eat his meals. We have noticed more confused periods at times and more hallucinations. I guess you just take each day as it comes. I just have a very hard time watching the bad days. Many a day I am leaving the home in tears anymore. I read the post from Courage about praying that God remembers to take your parent. I know exactly how she feels. I feel the same way sometimes and then I feel guilty for feeling that way. I don't want to seem selfish but I also hate to see him suffer. I have worked in nursing homes and taken care of many people with many different diseases but this is one of the worst. I hate this disease. I hate what it does to the person and also what it does to the family. It puts you all on such an emotional roller coaster. Somebody stop the ride, I want to get off!!! I have cried enough tears, I want to be happy again. My dad has moments when he is so very with it and knows what is going on (MOST OF THE TIME). He is so sad. He WANTS to die. He has told me that. He said, " I lay in this bed, I sit in this chair and I look out the window. This isn't living! I want to be with our mother. " How do I argue with that? He was always so independent and now he depends on someone for everything. He hates it. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, Donna P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 Dear, dear Donna This is so sad. It has be crying too. It is days like this that you find yourself asking " Why, God " . Remember us! Please take care of yourself and know that we are all praying for your dad to passing peacefully and for comfort and support to be with you and your family. Dena --- Donna wrote: > Hi all, > Just an update on dad. Last week we " camped out " at > the home > thinking he wasn't going to make it. His blood > pressure and pulse > had dropped so low and he was totally unresponsive > for better than 2 > days. He had no meds and nothing to eat or drink > for that 2 days. > Starting in to the third day, he began to arouse. > (To be honest, I > wasn't sure if I should be happy about this or not) > He had seemed > to know us all and asked for something to drink. He > had difficulty > swallowing at first but as the day went on, he was > able to swallow > ok. He had a couple of really good days where he > was very alert and > talkative. Then the meds must have got back in him > and he was more > quiet and slept more. Twice since then he went out > on us again for > about 18 hours each time. The second time the > Doctor was in and > actually got to witness it. I was glad for that. > My dad has had > mostly bad days the past 2 weeks, but he has had a > few where he went > to the diningroom at the NH to eat his meals. We > have noticed more > confused periods at times and more hallucinations. > I guess you just > take each day as it comes. I just have a very hard > time watching > the bad days. Many a day I am leaving the home in > tears anymore. I > read the post from Courage about praying that God > remembers to take > your parent. I know exactly how she feels. I feel > the same way > sometimes and then I feel guilty for feeling that > way. I don't want > to seem selfish but I also hate to see him suffer. > I have worked in > nursing homes and taken care of many people with > many different > diseases but this is one of the worst. I hate this > disease. I hate > what it does to the person and also what it does to > the family. It > puts you all on such an emotional roller coaster. > Somebody stop the > ride, I want to get off!!! I have cried enough > tears, I want to be > happy again. My dad has moments when he is so very > with it and > knows what is going on (MOST OF THE TIME). He is so > sad. He WANTS > to die. He has told me that. He said, " I lay in > this bed, I sit in > this chair and I look out the window. This isn't > living! I want to > be with our mother. " How do I argue with that? He > was always so > independent and now he depends on someone for > everything. He hates > it. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. > Take care, > Donna P. > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 Hi, Donna, Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. My dad is in much the same shape as yours, so I completely sympathize with how you are feeling. I, too, find myself wishing that God would " remember " to take my Dad, as Courage said, and then feeling such extreme guilt that I could be so horrible. Our Dads just have no quality of life, and I know my dad is just miserable. He cannot do anything, and is totally confused, delusional, and upset all the time. He actually is sleeping less now than he has in years, and I just pray for him to go to sleep so he will have some peace. There have been so many times that I thought we were losing him. It IS such a roller coaster. Sometimes I just wish we could get it over with. The waiting and not knowing when he is going to pass is so stressful. I am praying for some peace for you and your dad. Please let us know how things go for you along the way. Sending you lots of love and big hugs, Piper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 Hi Stevie Wow! Talk about night and day. What a difference. Hang in there. I will be praying for you all tonight. Dena --- juperant@... wrote: > Hello Donna P. and All, > > Have a very short moment to write, but just wanted > to tell you I am going > through the same thing you are as we speak! We > thought my Uncle was GONE and > Hospice was steering me towards making phone calls > to pick a mortuary. Today, he > is up-and-at-em, wandering from room to room, > getting into things and > " looking " for something. He wants to go to the > restaurant at lunch time because he > wants something different to eat. A bit more > " gourmet " than I have been > serving him. Ha! I reminded him that he has a > swallowing problem and is on a > strict soft-food diet because he refuses to swallow > a liquid diet. He argues with > me that he can swallow just fine and that's a bunch > of bunk. To save time > with what I feel is coming next, the aggressiveness > that you all have been > talking about! I invite him to prove that he can > swallow and eat a piece of toast. > He quickly remembers the last time he ate a piece of > toast, 3 months ago, and > shivered at the thought of what happened when he > couldn't swallow it, then > changed the subject to the " I need " category. We > have been doing this all > morning....he can barely stand up, goes over to the > Bombay chest, stooping over so > much that he almost falls forward, starts looking > through the drawers, > apparently looking for what he needs, all the while > drooling over everything because > he has a brown cough drop in his mouth to help with > the rattle in his chest > that indicates he might be getting pneumonia, and > trying to tell me that I must > go now and get what he wants. This from a man who > two days ago was > catatonically sleeping on and off for a week with > his eyes barely open and barely able > to put his coffee cup to his lips to take a sip on > his own! > > You are so right! This damn disease is such a > ROLLER COASTER ON YOUR > EMOTIONS that you don't know if you are coming or > going with them! > > gotto go....he's in the dining room buffet looking > for chocolate!.....will > write later, Stevie > > p.s...I had a moment to read (scan) that Dena got > Hospice for your Mom! Good > job! > > * * * * * * * * * * * > Hi all, > Just an update on dad. Last week we " camped out " at > the home > thinking he wasn't going to make it. His blood > pressure and pulse > had dropped so low and he was totally unresponsive > for better than 2 > days. He had no meds and nothing to eat or drink > for that 2 days. > Starting in to the third day, he began to arouse. > (To be honest, I > wasn't sure if I should be happy about this or not) > He had seemed > to know us all and asked for something to drink. He > had difficulty > swallowing at first but as the day went on, he was > able to swallow > ok. He had a couple of really good days where he > was very alert and > talkative. Then the meds must have got back in him > and he was more > quiet and slept more. Twice since then he went out > on us again for > about 18 hours each time. The second time the > Doctor was in and > actually got to witness it. I was glad for that. > My dad has had > mostly bad days the past 2 weeks, but he has had a > few where he went > to the diningroom at the NH to eat his meals. We > have noticed more > confused periods at times and more hallucinations. > I guess you just > take each day as it comes. I just have a very hard > time watching > the bad days. Many a day I am leaving the home in > tears anymore. I > read the post from Courage about praying that God > remembers to take > your parent. I know exactly how she feels. I feel > the same way > sometimes and then I feel guilty for feeling that > way. I don't want > to seem selfish but I also hate to see him suffer. > I have worked in > nursing homes and taken care of many people with > many different > diseases but this is one of the worst. I hate this > disease. I hate > what it does to the person and also what it does to > the family. It > puts you all on such an emotional roller coaster. > Somebody stop the > ride, I want to get off!!! I have cried enough > tears, I want to be > happy again. My dad has moments when he is so very > with it and > knows what is going on (MOST OF THE TIME). He is so > sad. He WANTS > to die. He has told me that. He said, " I lay in > this bed, I sit in > this chair and I look out the window. This isn't > living! I want to > be with our mother. " How do I argue with that? He > was always so > independent and now he depends on someone for > everything. He hates > it. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. > Take care, > Donna P. > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2006 Report Share Posted January 14, 2006 Thanks Dena....so happy to hear you have help with Hospice now! * * * * * * * Hi Stevie Wow! Talk about night and day. What a difference. Hang in there. I will be praying for you all tonight. Dena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2006 Report Share Posted January 14, 2006 > > > Hello Donna P. and All, > > > > Have a very short moment to write, but just wanted > > to tell you I am going > > through the same thing you are as we speak! We > > thought my Uncle was GONE and > > Hospice was steering me towards making phone calls > > to pick a mortuary. Today, he > > is up-and-at-em, wandering from room to room, > > getting into things and > > " looking " for something. He wants to go to the > > restaurant at lunch time because he > > wants something different to eat. A bit more > > " gourmet " than I have been > > serving him. Ha! I reminded him that he has a > > swallowing problem and is on a > > strict soft-food diet because he refuses to swallow > > a liquid diet. He argues with > > me that he can swallow just fine and that's a bunch > > of bunk. To save time > > with what I feel is coming next, the aggressiveness > > that you all have been > > talking about! I invite him to prove that he can > > swallow and eat a piece of toast. > > He quickly remembers the last time he ate a piece of > > toast, 3 months ago, and > > shivered at the thought of what happened when he > > couldn't swallow it, then > > changed the subject to the " I need " category. We > > have been doing this all > > morning....he can barely stand up, goes over to the > > Bombay chest, stooping over so > > much that he almost falls forward, starts looking > > through the drawers, > > apparently looking for what he needs, all the while > > drooling over everything because > > he has a brown cough drop in his mouth to help with > > the rattle in his chest > > that indicates he might be getting pneumonia, and > > trying to tell me that I must > > go now and get what he wants. This from a man who > > two days ago was > > catatonically sleeping on and off for a week with > > his eyes barely open and barely able > > to put his coffee cup to his lips to take a sip on > > his own! > > > > You are so right! This damn disease is such a > > ROLLER COASTER ON YOUR > > EMOTIONS that you don't know if you are coming or > > going with them! > > > > gotto go....he's in the dining room buffet looking > > for chocolate!.....will > > write later, Stevie > > > > p.s...I had a moment to read (scan) that Dena got > > Hospice for your Mom! Good > > job! > > > > * * * * * * * * * * * > > Hi all, > > Just an update on dad. Last week we " camped out " at > > the home > > thinking he wasn't going to make it. His blood > > pressure and pulse > > had dropped so low and he was totally unresponsive > > for better than 2 > > days. He had no meds and nothing to eat or drink > > for that 2 days. > > Starting in to the third day, he began to arouse. > > (To be honest, I > > wasn't sure if I should be happy about this or not) > > He had seemed > > to know us all and asked for something to drink. He > > had difficulty > > swallowing at first but as the day went on, he was > > able to swallow > > ok. He had a couple of really good days where he > > was very alert and > > talkative. Then the meds must have got back in him > > and he was more > > quiet and slept more. Twice since then he went out > > on us again for > > about 18 hours each time. The second time the > > Doctor was in and > > actually got to witness it. I was glad for that. > > My dad has had > > mostly bad days the past 2 weeks, but he has had a > > few where he went > > to the diningroom at the NH to eat his meals. We > > have noticed more > > confused periods at times and more hallucinations. > > I guess you just > > take each day as it comes. I just have a very hard > > time watching > > the bad days. Many a day I am leaving the home in > > tears anymore. I > > read the post from Courage about praying that God > > remembers to take > > your parent. I know exactly how she feels. I feel > > the same way > > sometimes and then I feel guilty for feeling that > > way. I don't want > > to seem selfish but I also hate to see him suffer. > > I have worked in > > nursing homes and taken care of many people with > > many different > > diseases but this is one of the worst. I hate this > > disease. I hate > > what it does to the person and also what it does to > > the family. It > > puts you all on such an emotional roller coaster. > > Somebody stop the > > ride, I want to get off!!! I have cried enough > > tears, I want to be > > happy again. My dad has moments when he is so very > > with it and > > knows what is going on (MOST OF THE TIME). He is so > > sad. He WANTS > > to die. He has told me that. He said, " I lay in > > this bed, I sit in > > this chair and I look out the window. This isn't > > living! I want to > > be with our mother. " How do I argue with that? He > > was always so > > independent and now he depends on someone for > > everything. He hates > > it. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. > > Take care, > > Donna P. > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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