Re: RE: mara/sharon m

[Guest guest]

Mara,

please dont beat yourself uup, being a full time caregiver is very very

difficult, esp if you have no other help.

first of all, yhour mom sounds like my mom, my mom wants to know what is in it

for her, when dad dies they got divorced in 1987. she says what am i gonna do

when your dad dies without his alimony she gets 1/2 of his navy retirement her

portion is 1400 a month. she also gets about 500 herself from social security

and was working 40 hours at 11.50 an hour, until she moved to tuscon, she is now

looking for employment. but she is always hurting for money, hmmmmm take home

400 a week plus 1900 in alimony and soc sec, thats 3500 a month by my

calculations and you dont have money??? her answer is she is setting it aside

for me when she dies so i dont have to worry. HA

but she still wants to know if i will send her money after dad dies since i am

her daughter i should take care of her. i am disabled and unable to work

myseolf. my husbnad is now working but didnt work the first year we were here as

we were trying to get settled in with dad.

anyway i am primary caregiver by law, but we pay sissy and she lives with us,

she i s more like an adotped daughter than just a caregiver. she lives with us

and handles dad most of the time and i help as my health allows, and donnie as

his job allows. when dad comes back from the nj this time di have talked to one

of his cna's at the nh and have offered her a pt job with us, caregiving so

sissy cna get a greake once in a while . so we have 3 caregivers me donnie and

sissy and then i will have one or two pt caregivers so sissy isnt working 24/7.

dad will be totally bed bound when we gbring him hoome. the council of aging

has a program that dad was on that gave me 24 hours a week respite care, and

meals on wheeels dinners, and lots of supplies for only 72$ a month, much

cheaper than my own paying for respite and plus the meals, so you may try the

council of aging and see if there are any programs avialable to you, do not be

afriad to ask for help!!!!

if you are unable to find any programs admitting that you are not a 'caregiver'

is no crime, i am not near the caregiver that sissy is, she has the patience of

mother theresa. me, patience is not one of my better virtues. if it wasnt for

sissy and donnie daddy would have been in a nh a long time ago. and if my mom

and dad were still married mom informed dad that he would have been in a nursing

home years ago. good luck and keep your spirits up, hugs sharon m

: " Mara Herzberger "

Date: 2005/08/23 Tue AM 03:33:07 EDT

To: <LBDcaregivers >

Subject: RE: Re: Thanks to all caregivers for their insite into

LBD.

a smile a day, keeps the meanies away!!!!