Guest guest Posted January 1, 2007 Report Share Posted January 1, 2007 I have posted over the past few weeks about my husband drinking again when he is on a transplant list. Finally he went last Friday to detox and was released today. The doctor has recommended a 30 day program and my husband still wants to do things his way. After 4 days he still has the attitude that I see when he drinks. I made a decision while he was gone that I will not continue to live with him until he stops drinking and we have had some counseling for our marriage. When my husband is not drinking, we never argue and we are so happy. When he drinks, by the time he finally hits A bottom, he has destroyed all respect and trust. Even the love becomes questionable. I told him I won't file for divorce and I am willing to go to counseling but, at this time I am not willing to live together until he has completed a treatment program and marriage counseling. I have so much anger because it seems like every few years we have to go through this. I am angry not only from the mental abuse but, that the man I loved had a chance for a transplant and threw it away. I don't know if I have made the right choice only that this is different than the other times. All the other times he has quit or gone to treatment and then he comes home we attempt to be normal. I struggle and after I trust him again it happens again. Being at home and being with his family does not keep him sober so hopefully when he sees that it will not be tolerated any longer he will work a program. I know my husband is sick and could possibly die but, I feel that as long as I tolerate it, I am enabling him to drink and ultimately kill himself. I can't watch that. I am asking each of you to pray for my husband and for all of us that love him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2007 Report Share Posted January 1, 2007 You've been in my thoughts and prayers every day. 28-30 day programs are a blessing. He would be lucky to receive that type of treatment. Stay strong & I will keep praying. Leigh gsaunders5@... wrote: I have posted over the past few weeks about my husband drinking again when he is on a transplant list. Finally he went last Friday to detox and was released today. The doctor has recommended a 30 day program and my husband still wants to do things his way. After 4 days he still has the attitude that I see when he drinks. I made a decision while he was gone that I will not continue to live with him until he stops drinking and we have had some counseling for our marriage. When my husband is not drinking, we never argue and we are so happy. When he drinks, by the time he finally hits A bottom, he has destroyed all respect and trust. Even the love becomes questionable. I told him I won't file for divorce and I am willing to go to counseling but, at this time I am not willing to live together until he has completed a treatment program and marriage counseling. I have so much anger because it seems like every few years we have to go through this. I am angry not only from the mental abuse but, that the man I loved had a chance for a transplant and threw it away. I don't know if I have made the right choice only that this is different than the other times. All the other times he has quit or gone to treatment and then he comes home we attempt to be normal. I struggle and after I trust him again it happens again. Being at home and being with his family does not keep him sober so hopefully when he sees that it will not be tolerated any longer he will work a program. I know my husband is sick and could possibly die but, I feel that as long as I tolerate it, I am enabling him to drink and ultimately kill himself. I can't watch that. I am asking each of you to pray for my husband and for all of us that love him. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2007 Report Share Posted January 1, 2007 First, know...that God is always with us, no matter what. Through the good and the bad. But we can't always see it. Before you leave, know, that his drinking will double. He will have an excuse to drink (like he needs one). But when you leave he will most definitely not see it as a wake up call. And will more likely find comfort in his depression. If he can get into treatment it would be great. Obviously the doctors treated his symptoms for the week he was in the hospital. Did they give a prognosis? Did they treat his ascites? I hate to be blunt, but, your husband will succumb to his illness. And from what I've read in your posts, probably within the next year. But you have to be strong and have/find faith. Moving out, may not solve it. Staying may not either. Do what's right in your heart. Remember, he is still the man you once loved. But is now dying. He's scared. He just can't express it. You are all he's got. You have to let him know that. I will pray for you. Love, MaC gsaunders5@... wrote: I have posted over the past few weeks about my husband drinking again when he is on a transplant list. Finally he went last Friday to detox and was released today. The doctor has recommended a 30 day program and my husband still wants to do things his way. After 4 days he still has the attitude that I see when he drinks. I made a decision while he was gone that I will not continue to live with him until he stops drinking and we have had some counseling for our marriage. When my husband is not drinking, we never argue and we are so happy. When he drinks, by the time he finally hits A bottom, he has destroyed all respect and trust. Even the love becomes questionable. I told him I won't file for divorce and I am willing to go to counseling but, at this time I am not willing to live together until he has completed a treatment program and marriage counseling. I have so much anger because it seems like every few years we have to go through this. I am angry not only from the mental abuse but, that the man I loved had a chance for a transplant and threw it away. I don't know if I have made the right choice only that this is different than the other times. All the other times he has quit or gone to treatment and then he comes home we attempt to be normal. I struggle and after I trust him again it happens again. Being at home and being with his family does not keep him sober so hopefully when he sees that it will not be tolerated any longer he will work a program. I know my husband is sick and could possibly die but, I feel that as long as I tolerate it, I am enabling him to drink and ultimately kill himself. I can't watch that. I am asking each of you to pray for my husband and for all of us that love him. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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