Re: My Heart is Sinking/Dena

[Guest guest]

Dear Dena,

Thank you for your support and your concerns. Funny

you should ask about if Jim had a good relationship

with his kids. I always thought he had, they used to

be here a lot during his healthy years and seemed to

have disappeared during his illness, but I recently

went to Jim's granddaughter's wedding, only a few

weeks ago. It's his daughter's daughter. During the

buffet dinner and after a few drinks, like truth

serum, Jim's daughter opened up a lot about their

childhood with JIm at which he was not there for them

when they most needed him and now they are not here

for him when he most needs him. I had never heard this

side of the story. Jim's kids are in the same age

group as I am. I now think that it is all out of guilt

that Jim is making up to them now and a lot has to do

with the fact that they think he owes them. So it all

makes some kind of sense to me now. I still don't

think it's right, but I can see the picture more

clearly. It doesn't make it less hurtful for me, but

like you say, it's a fresh start and a new beginning

and not the end of the book, but a new chapter. Thanks

again.

Hugs, Jan

--- Dena LEAVITT wrote:

> Dear Jan

>

> My heart is breaking for you. It seems Jim's

> children

> are extremely selfish. Hard to believe that your own

> children could become like that. Did Jim have a good

> relationship with them ever? Hard too believe that

> he

> did. I am sure he did what he thought was right

> years

> ago before all this LBD hit. Try to think of if as a

> new start, a fresh start, instead of closing a book.

> Easy to say I know, but hard to do. Just know that I

> am thinking and praying for you tonight.

>

> Dena in CA

>

> --- Janet Colello wrote:

>

> > Hi All,

> > I feel the need to write, because I have such a

> pit

> > in

> > my stomach and I want to cry, my heart is so

> heavy.

> > I have sold most of everything in the house and am

> > down to the large furniture. A Chair and a Half

> that

> > I

> > had just went out the door to a new owner and now

> > the

> > house is looking more and more bare. My goal is to

> > have Jim in a facility by the end of the year. As

> > most

> > of you know the story and that I need to get back

> to

> > work full time and that this house was put in a

> > Trust

> > to Jim's kids, so I have to move out as well.

> Jim's

> > kids will put the house up for rent until his

> death

> > when they can sell it. I need to be strong to do

> > this.

> > It will be a huge change for me as well as for

> Jim.

> > I

> > will always continue to visit him and be with him.

> > He

> > has said nothing all day, but I know that he is

> > sensing something. I have not told him my goal of

> > putting him in a facility at the end of the year,

> > because he has no sense of time and will think it

> is

> > today or tomorrow that he is going and he will get

> > anxiety, so I am just telling him a time is coming

> > soon when I will have to put him in a facility,

> > because I can no longer care for him on my own. He

> > does not have the ambition to even go for a ride

> > today, which he usually loves, so I know he is

> > feeling

> > something. I feel so sorry, but he has made it so

> I

> > have no money for the upkeep of this house or him

> > let

> > alone my future and my retirement years coming

> > around

> > the corner. I just feel so sad today, because the

> > time

> > is getting closer. It still seemed far a few

> months

> > ago and now it is nearing. I have always had the

> > family here for Thanksgiving and this year can not

> > do

> > it. I have sold most of my cooking ware and my

> > diningroom table to scale down to a Condo size

> place

> > to live. We are all going to a restaurant for

> > Thanksgiving this year without Jim. It won't seem

> > the

> > same. Just needed to vent a little to help get me

> > over my sadness.

> > Thanks....Jan

> >

> >

> >

> >

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>

>

>

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