RE: n

[Guest guest]

> In a message dated 10/14/2001 6:33:23 PM Central Daylight Time,

> creativespark@e... writes:

>

>

> > I love to read as much as I can from those who

> > make the effort to bridge from the more introspective (I'm not

sure that's

> > the

> > right word...) to the social communication, because I want so

badly to

> > understand my son's experiences so if he doesn't " bridge " to " the

social

> > world, "

> > maybe I can " bridge " to his...

This is the majority of what I try to do on the internet. In many

ways I am lower functioning, and I try to help people whose children

are lower functioning and/or non-verbal. For example, this part of

another person's message describes me very well when I was younger,

and I can think back and determine why I felt that way, what I was

wanting and thinking, and I can describe it in words for a parent. My

" gift " I guess.

~~~~~

About 15 years ago, I worked in a group home with moderate to severely

impacted autistic children. Many were mentally retarded, some I think

could have been helped so much more now... But anyway, there was one

little girl who was profoundly autistic. She had been abused. She

was very withdrawn, violent if you came too close (not surprising

given her history), nonverbal, very self-stimulatory, moderately self

abusive...

One day, she bit her lip so hard, she had to have stitches. The poor

girl was in so much pain. It was the only time I ever saw her reach

out to the world. She let me hold her for hours. She looked into my

eyes. That day I KNEW KNEW KNEW and it has never left me that THERE

IS SOMEONE IN THERE no matter how " severe " someone's " symptoms " are.

It has everything to do with what the rest of

the brain/body/environment is doing.

~~~~~

n, part of your message really made me think.

I am bipolar. I tried lithium, it evened out my moods such that I did

not care about anything, nasty stuff for me. I tried Prozac also,

made my cut myself. Not a good thing either. I am glad that I did

find that for me, my bipolar is the result of phenol foods. I am MUCH

better now, and without drugs, so I am happy about that.

> I now realize that all my life--except for the Prozac pause and

other similar

> pauses--the middle ground has been a no-man's land for me. I can

over-react

> or under-react; I'm unable to react. I can over-focus or

under-focus; I

> can't focus. I can over-achieve or under-achieve; simply achieving

is out of

> the question.

This sounds so much like me also, for me primarily because I have no

idea what actually IS the middle ground, I think similar to you.

>>I can TRY to be appropriate, but never hit the mark

because

> that's in the middle ground, my no-man's land.

WOW this is soooo much ME! I received an email this morning, very

nice person, indicating that my messages sound aggressive, and

suggesting that I try to sound " more gentle " . I replied back asking

for individual message numbers so I can learn from it. There are

times when I think I am being " semi-aggressive " , but not so much as

people apparently think, it appears I may always appear to be

aggressive. Definitely not my intent, for 98% of my messages I am

sounding " objective " in my head as I am typing them, and I admit I

have no idea how to sound " gentle " , but this email I received is from

someone who I have never directed anything aggressive to, and I

appreciate this opinion. But see, I am never appropriate, but I do

try to learn, so now I am hoping this person replies back with a few

message numbers, so I can figure out where I " went wrong " . Maybe even

if I never get to be " gentle " , at least I can learn how to be " less

aggressive " . It is all very confusing.

Do you know how

much

> pleasers want to do what's right, appropriate, expected? No matter

how much

> I want to move forward at that crucial moment, I take a step

backward. Part

> of me wants to affiliate; the stronger part says, " no way. " When

it's time

> to surrender, I resist. To me it feels physiologically determined.

When I am feeling " weak " and attacked, I retreat. I don't see it as

" surrender " tho, I see it as acknowledging my weak areas at the

moment, and backing off so I can find my comfort level, and then I go

back to what was hurtful and try to figure out why it was, and then

learn from it. It does not always work, but I do try.

>

> Now I'm feeling foolish because I can't feature that I've said

anything

> helpful.

You always say something helpful, at least you do to me.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Aimee

your so right its good to keep a journal and DATE it this way you can look

back on dates and see what was going on at that time

also get copies of labs this helps to follow how the labs go up and down

Robbin

[Guest guest]

Hi n,

I'm so glad that Heidi liked the flowers from the group. She's such a

special lady, and we're all so happy for you both. Even better is the

news that Fabien is getting stronger all the time. We'll keep the

prayers coming.

I hope the blues are a very short-lived thing. There are a lot of

hormonal changes going on, and she's probably not getting the best

sleep, either. I can tell you're really supportive, and I know that

means the world to her.

Please give her my love.

Carol

[ ] Heidi & Fabien

Hi to all of u

Just a few lines to give the latest news.

Ist of all thanks so much for the beautiful flowers and the white teddy

bear ,Heidi was soooooo emotional when she got them ,its really special

for her.

Fabien has been doing better and better , he now takes his mum breasts

but they are still topping up from a cup ,but he is doing just fine , he

is still in the incubator and under phototerapy for jaundnice.

Otherwise we spoke to the doc this afternoon ,and he said that he is

doing very well and should be in a normal cot by tommorow,but that as it

is quite cold at the clinic,they rather keep him in.

Heidi is sooooooooo happy but she just started having some blues , but

nothing major ,she just gets very sad at times ,but the family is around

her.

I think that we will go home by Monday.

Lots of love to all of you

n

[Guest guest]

I think you mean Nabilon(sp), Some of the older kids at CHEO are on

it. They are the ones with their hand in a bag of cheessies(LOL) It

helps nausea and give them the munchies but as explained by one of

the kids it really messes their heads up. takes a different

form of cannibas, its called Marinol...fairly new on the market but

can be given in small doses. I was just a little ticked at my case

managing nurse but I have asked her (several times)for all 's

meds to be in liquid when possible. The liquid Zofran came up in a

casual conversation I was having with another nurse at the clinic.

[Guest guest]

Thats it. I have talked to kids that it screws up but then also ones

that say its great.

Hugs

> I think you mean Nabilon(sp), Some of the older kids at CHEO are

on

> it. They are the ones with their hand in a bag of cheessies(LOL)

It

> helps nausea and give them the munchies but as explained by one of

> the kids it really messes their heads up. takes a different

> form of cannibas, its called Marinol...fairly new on the market

but

> can be given in small doses. I was just a little ticked at my

case

> managing nurse but I have asked her (several times)for all 's

> meds to be in liquid when possible. The liquid Zofran came up in

a

> casual conversation I was having with another nurse at the clinic.