Re: suspended from school

[Guest guest]

Thanks Carol, my caseworker didn't like it either but she said it was out of her hands that is was a school decision. Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

They have given her numerous in school suspensions and so many time outs I think the time out chair has her name on it. The principal is the one who suspended her because she said she cannot have hitting the faculty. She also said to me that she was surprised didn't hit children. Well, that is a no brainier, the kids don't frustrate her.

We are switching classes next week. The teacher is the one she will have in September and my caseworker said she is more tolerant of behavior.

I feel this year all they did was focus on the bad behavior. It is like they want her to be something she is not capable of yet. My caseworker said it takes time to teach how to handle frustration.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Jeanne,

I work in the public school system here in Tulsa. I was told that special

education students could not be suspended. I will check with our spec.

educ. teacher and see if that is based on fed. law.

Carol

suspended from school

> Hi Everyone,

> I am home today with who has been suspended from school for

> the second time for hitting. While I do not think this is an

> apropriate way to handle it the school suspended her for a day. I

> know it is out of frustration that she will hit, it us usually her

> aide that she will hit. Last week it was her speech teacher. My

> caseworker said she needs to learn ways to handle her frustration and

> that it will take time. In the meantime her we are at home.

> Unfortunatly too late in the year we have realized that she was not

> in the best class for her in school. She was not being taught the

> way she needs to be. For the remainder of the school year we are

> pulling her out of the special ed class she is in and putting her

> with the teacher she will have for next september.

> I am extrememly frustrated with school and upset that it was a lost

> year and she really did not learn alot. I know she has potential but

> it was not brought out by the teacher she had. I am also going to

> change aides or have this one back off alot. She seems to do to much

> for my daughter and my daughter want to do things herself. There

> lies her frustration.

> is 8 years old, and I wanted to know if anyone else's kids

> hit out of frustration. And if so what do you do about it. She

> never hits except when totally frustrated. It is usually the aide

> but last week it was the speech teacher and I talked to the teacher

> and she said she kind of pushed a little too much. Of

> course all this makes me start thinking of the future and if she will

> be able to learn and what if year after year we pick the wrong

> setting for her. I trust my caseworker with what she want for her

> for next year but I will be watching closely.

> Yesterday was throwing the wood chips on the play ground

> and the aide asked her to stop and as usual my daughter does not

> listen and when she went over to stop her from throwing them and was

> telling her not to do that, slaped her in the face.

> told me that the aide slaped her arm. I am at loss at what

> to do now. My caseworker is going to give me the name of a child

> psychologist who specialized in down syndrome children. I will most

> likely take my daughter to see her since I do not know anymore how to

> disipline her. Regular disipline does not seem to work. Right now

> nothing is working.

> I am sorry this is so long but I am losing it over taking care of

> this kid, with the worrying and how to handle her sometimes.

> Thanks for listening.

> Jeanne (mom to Nicky 14, le 13 and 8 MDS)

>

>

>

> Won't you please consider adding your personal story on the MDS website

today? http://www.mosaicdownsyndrome.com

> *************************************************

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>

[Guest guest]

HI Jeanne,

I was so angry the way your daughter has been treated in school,

I too am an aide (special support assitant) in main stream school ,I look

after all sorts of children that are special needs, age 4 to 7,

Firstly the aide should be able to deal with ,secondly no way

should an aide spank ,hit any child .For that I would be suspended, and

it's so unproffessional,

may, like my ,follow a difficult school day ,and sometimes

get fed up and tired, so that's why she's getting so frustrated and hits

out, but her aide should understand this.

I've been into school this week about a problem with .I told them next

time I would go to the governors,and if your not happy go to the governors

board and tell them .

All children need help, not to be punished need to be at school

and school should deal with any problems

Feel free to email me at any time,

Judy mum to 9 mds ( Convetion chairperson and UK parent contact)

[Guest guest]

> Hi Everyone,

> I am home today with who has been suspended from school

> for the second time for hitting.....Regular disipline does not seem

> to work. Right now nothing is working.

Hi Jeanne....we went through a similar period with Jimmy in first

grade (he was 7 at the time). Lots of inappropriate behaviors at

school, including hitting and spitting, also mostly focused on his

aide. After tons of " punishment " at school - time outs, withdrawal

of priviledges, etc. - the school wanted to put him into a special ed

classroom. (He was fully included at the time.) We refused, and

requested that they get a behavioral specialist in to do a functional

behavioral assesment and come up with a POSITIVE behavior management

plan. They got someone in, she wrote up the plan, and away we went.

With a very talented team for second grade, all of whom worked very

well together and with us, Jimmy was turned around 100%. He is now

in the 4th grade, still fully included, and doing wonderfully - no

more inappropriate behaviors. I'd be happy to send you a copy of his

behavior management plan - just to see what one looks at.

As far as I know, the law states that you can't suspend a kid with a

disability for more that 10 school days if the behavior is related to

their disability. You might check the website wrightslaw.com to find

the exact law. I believe that the law also calls for the school to

do a FBA and come up with a behavior plan.

I'm throwing a big party tomorrow, so I can't write anymore at the

moment, but I'd be happy to correspond with you further on this if

there's anything I can do to help. It makes all the difference in

the world to know how to manage Jimmy's behavior!!!

Keep your chin up - things WILL get better......

[Guest guest]

Dear Jeanne, My heart aches with you. I think that struggling through the public schools has been the hardest part of being a mother. My Jonas is not old enough to be in school yet, but we do an IEP for his older brother, . This year we made some huge decisions about his education. We are doing an IEP on June 3rd, heaven help us, and we are having it written right in the IEP that we will have a second meeting after the first grading period. This way, we can avoid a wasted year for him. We have been at the end like you with the realization that nearly the entire year was a learning waste for him. Maybe you would want to consider doing something like this for . I think it may be very helpful to get back together with the IEP team and discuss what is working well, and what is not working at all. Just a suggestion from an equally frustrated Mom. Hang in there, and try to remember as I do, that we are covenant bound to advocate for our children until they are able to advocate for themselves. Every time I feel like giving up I remember that. Blessings to You, Barb Martz Mom to Jonas (MDS) 1 1/2 & 7 suspended from school Hi Everyone,I am home today with who has been suspended from school forthe second time for hitting. While I do not think this is anapropriate way to handle it the school suspended her for a day. Iknow it is out of frustration that she will hit, it us usually heraide that she will hit. Last week it was her speech teacher. Mycaseworker said she needs to learn ways to handle her frustration andthat it will take time. In the meantime her we are at home.Unfortunatly too late in the year we have realized that she was notin the best class for her in school. She was not being taught theway she needs to be. For the remainder of the school year we arepulling her out of the special ed class she is in and putting herwith the teacher she will have for next september.I am extrememly frustrated with school and upset that it was a lostyear and she really did not learn alot. I know she has potential butit was not brought out by the teacher she had. I am also going tochange aides or have this one back off alot. She seems to do to muchfor my daughter and my daughter want to do things herself. Therelies her frustration. is 8 years old, and I wanted to know if anyone else's kidshit out of frustration. And if so what do you do about it. Shenever hits except when totally frustrated. It is usually the aidebut last week it was the speech teacher and I talked to the teacherand she said she kind of pushed a little too much. Ofcourse all this makes me start thinking of the future and if she willbe able to learn and what if year after year we pick the wrongsetting for her. I trust my caseworker with what she want for herfor next year but I will be watching closely.Yesterday was throwing the wood chips on the play groundand the aide asked her to stop and as usual my daughter does notlisten and when she went over to stop her from throwing them and wastelling her not to do that, slaped her in the face. told me that the aide slaped her arm. I am at loss at whatto do now. My caseworker is going to give me the name of a childpsychologist who specialized in down syndrome children. I will mostlikely take my daughter to see her since I do not know anymore how todisipline her. Regular disipline does not seem to work. Right nownothing is working.I am sorry this is so long but I am losing it over taking care ofthis kid, with the worrying and how to handle her sometimes.Thanks for listening.Jeanne (mom to Nicky 14, le 13 and 8 MDS)

[Guest guest]

Jeanne,

I have never had hitting problems but I have had other

problems of frustration. I am in email with this

neurologist. She is very into helping kids with

sensory dysfunction. She just emailed me telling me

about how she could evaluate our kids even though we

are not in her area. She then sends some sort of video

that is supposed to help. I asked her alot of

questions about the program and am waiting for a

reply. As soon as I get an answer I will let you, and

everyone else know.

Kristy

--- angels2757 wrote:

> Hi Everyone,

> I am home today with who has been

> suspended from school for

> the second time for hitting. While I do not think

> this is an

> apropriate way to handle it the school suspended her

> for a day. I

> know it is out of frustration that she will hit, it

> us usually her

> aide that she will hit. Last week it was her speech

> teacher. My

> caseworker said she needs to learn ways to handle

> her frustration and

> that it will take time. In the meantime her we are

> at home.

> Unfortunatly too late in the year we have realized

> that she was not

> in the best class for her in school. She was not

> being taught the

> way she needs to be. For the remainder of the

> school year we are

> pulling her out of the special ed class she is in

> and putting her

> with the teacher she will have for next september.

> I am extrememly frustrated with school and upset

> that it was a lost

> year and she really did not learn alot. I know she

> has potential but

> it was not brought out by the teacher she had. I am

> also going to

> change aides or have this one back off alot. She

> seems to do to much

> for my daughter and my daughter want to do things

> herself. There

> lies her frustration.

> is 8 years old, and I wanted to know if

> anyone else's kids

> hit out of frustration. And if so what do you do

> about it. She

> never hits except when totally frustrated. It is

> usually the aide

> but last week it was the speech teacher and I talked

> to the teacher

> and she said she kind of pushed a little

> too much. Of

> course all this makes me start thinking of the

> future and if she will

> be able to learn and what if year after year we pick

> the wrong

> setting for her. I trust my caseworker with what

> she want for her

> for next year but I will be watching closely.

> Yesterday was throwing the wood chips on

> the play ground

> and the aide asked her to stop and as usual my

> daughter does not

> listen and when she went over to stop her from

> throwing them and was

> telling her not to do that, slaped her in

> the face.

> told me that the aide slaped her arm. I

> am at loss at what

> to do now. My caseworker is going to give me the

> name of a child

> psychologist who specialized in down syndrome

> children. I will most

> likely take my daughter to see her since I do not

> know anymore how to

> disipline her. Regular disipline does not seem to

> work. Right now

> nothing is working.

> I am sorry this is so long but I am losing it over

> taking care of

> this kid, with the worrying and how to handle her

> sometimes.

> Thanks for listening.

> Jeanne (mom to Nicky 14, le 13 and 8

> MDS)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jeanne,

We have had so many frustrating times throughout Tim's

years in school. The big thing that I think the school

doesn't seem to get is, you can not disapline a child

with special needs the same way you do a child without

special needs. When Tim was suspended from school he

thought he had a holiday! He really didn't care, it

was no big deal to him. We went through detention,

suspention..you name it! And none of them EVER worked

to correct the problem.

Now, finally, in 9th grade, we found intelligent

people! Insted of punishing Tim for his actions they

teach him. The ask him these questions: What did you

do wrong? What were you trying to accomplish with this

behavior?(ie: get attention, get help on work)How did

you feel when you were doing this?(happy,mad,sad)What

should you have done instead? What will you do next

time?

This has really worked for us! Tim's behavior has

improved dramatically over this year. Punishment

doesn't work for him because he does not understand

concequences for his actions. Besides, I think that

teaching him what he should do instead of punishing

him for what he has done makes more since.

I hope this helps.

Kristy

--- angels2757@... wrote:

> Hi Judy,

> They have given her numerous in school suspensions

> and so many time outs I

> think the time out chair has her name on it. The

> principal is the one who

> suspended her because she said she cannot have

> hitting the faculty.

> She also said to me that she was surprised

> didn't hit children.

> Well, that is a no brainier, the kids don't

> frustrate her.

> We are switching classes next week. The teacher is

> the one she will have in

> September and my caseworker said she is more

> tolerant of behavior.

> I feel this year all they did was focus on the bad

> behavior. It is like they

> want her to be something she is not capable of yet.

> My caseworker said it

> takes time to teach how to handle

> frustration.

> Jeanne

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Barb,

I am going to ask for another meeting before the end of the year. I don't want this happening next year. will also go to school in the summer. They have and extended school year here. I asked that she not be given the teacher she has now.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Hi Kristy,

Everything you said makes sense to me. She loved being home. I hope she doesn't think now that if she hits they will send her home with me.

I like the way Tim's teachers ask him those questions. I am going to show your response to my caseworker. It makes a lot of sense to me.

My caseworker is going to give me the name of a therapist that works with down syndrome kids.

Jeanne