Guest guest Posted July 17, 2005 Report Share Posted July 17, 2005 Hi Lori- Thank you for the update on your dad. Sounds very positive and encouraging! I agree with you regarding the assisted living or even a NH facility that has wider hallways. My dad would freeze in doorways and even stepping across a different textured flooring. For instance, from carpet to linoleum. When I was with him I would verbally tell him to 'step through the doorway' or 'step over the carpet'. I learned this in a physical therapy class I went to with my dad. It was amazing to me how even the scored lines on sidewalks would make my dad freeze. All it took was to tell him to 'step over the crack' and he could keep walking. Your mention of hallways reminded me how much easier it was for my dad to walk. Again, thank you for the update. Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers- Sandie and -- Decision to Place LO Hi Everyone -- First an update on Dad. He seems to have recovered completely from pneumonia -- back mentally to where he was. He has been struggling w/ diahria from the antibiotics, but now that he's done w/ them, we hope to see an improvement. Another thing to consider regarding placement is their ability to get around. Since Dad's meds all got balanced, he's been very good mentally (except for one LBD paranoia episode in 5 mos). If we had to make the decision today, we would not choose assisted living. However, we think it would be worse to return to his house and move again another time. Unfortunately, none of us kids have the ability to take him in. Dad's mobility is greatly affected by " space " . His freezing/shuffling greatly increases in tight areas -- and his house has many of them. He gets around SO much better at the assisted living facility with their wide hallways and handicap bathroom. The staff frequently calls him Speedy! Just wanted to add that piece of info to the placement puzzle. Lori > Hi Christy- > > I cared for my dad for about 4 years, while he lived in his > apartment, and after LBD diagnosis. I had a family of > my own, and a job as well. We did ok, with some help > of in home health care. Then depression kicked in for > my dad, as well as some safety issues. The decision > was made. Dad had to move. It was definitely a tough > change in life for my dad and for myself. I had been and > remained POA so I was still, theoretically dad's caregiver. > I attended all care plan meetings and oversaw his care > while he was at the NH. > > The same with and his mom. He was her > caregiver, lived at the house to take care of her as his > job. As the time went on, her cares became more than > he was equipped and able to handle. He did a > wonderful job, every day, yet there was more to do > each and every day. The decision was to put his mom > in short term care at a facility to see how she coped and > so he could come to the U.S. to visit me. A long term > opening came up so his mom's status was changed > and she has been there since August 2004. Often, these > things have a way of working themselves out. > > We agree with Donna P. to follow your heart and that you > will know when the time is right. It doesn't mean it will > be less painful, but you will also have a sense of peace > that your dad is in the right place. The best place for him > and for you. > > Please know that many prayers are being said for you > and your dad in this decision and for the future. > > There is a very wise caregiver, some times she still lurks > here and is a member of the caringspouses group. She > wrote once - " we are only responsible for the effort, not > the result " . This has left a lasting impression, words to > live by. > > Hugs to you- > > Sandie > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 Hi Lori- Thank you for writing and for sharing that yellow roses were your mom's favorite flower as well. I do appreciate your support and kind words. Everyone has little Godincidences if we open our hearts to them. My belief is that things happen for a reason, something higher and far beyond a coincidence. There is a bigger plan and gifts that are given along the way. As I said, this is my belief. You have made me smile today with your words. Hugs to you- Sandie -- Re: Ladybugs for dad's birthday I missed your Ladybug Day -- but loved the story. Also loved the word you coined -- Godincedense! I'm so pleased you have these regular reminders your Dad is around at all times. Yellow roses were also my mom's favorite. Putting the Ladybug on the rose is very special!! Lori > > Hi Group- > > > > Tomorrow, July 31st would have been my dad's 68th > > birthday. It feels so bittersweet even tonight. > > > > For those who have known me know the story of ladybugs. > > My dad was unable to talk for the last 2 1/2 yrs of his life. > > A few months before he passed away ladybugs started > > showing up in his NH room. We loved to play with them > > and we began to look forward to the little critters. We would > > look at the dots, I would count them. We watched as they > > flew around his room, we laughed and enjoyed them. > > > > After dad passed away ladybugs started showing up in > > the oddest places...on the neurologist's name in my > > address book, on dad's headstone, on my truck as I > > would drive away and one of the songs from dad's funeral > > would play on the radio. These were definitely Godincidences. > > > > So, each ladybug is a reminder of my dad and the good > > times we shared. Tomorrow I shall forever have ladybugs > > with me as I am scheduled for a tattoo(s). I already have > > 2 - one angel and one of 4 roses starting with a beautiful > > yellow rose in memory of my mom. Yellow roses were > > her absolute favorite. The other 3 roses are colored for > > the birth months of my boys. > > > > I shall start with having a ladybug put on the yellow rose - > > mom and dad together again. I also plan on having some > > ladybugs on a toe and crawling up my foot. My dad really > > hated needles...I really don't like them either so it will be > another > > reminder of my dad. > > > > Please do me a favor tomorrow and instead of wishing my > > dad a happy birthday, hug your loved ones one extra time > > in honor of their life. Cherish these days. That will be the best > birthday > > wish to my dad. May all of you be > > as blessed as I am for having gone through life with LBD. > > My promise to my dad was that I would be there for him, > > through everything... " til the end " . > > > > Thank you- > > Sandie and (if not for LBD, we wouldn't have met) > > Des Moines, IA - for my dad, Merle 7/31/37 - 9/20/02 > > > > > > together again. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2005 Report Share Posted August 1, 2005 Sandie -- I also believe in both big and little Godincidences -- if we can just be open to them, they will bring us unimagined gifts! Blessings, Lori > > > Hi Group- > > > > > > Tomorrow, July 31st would have been my dad's 68th > > > birthday. It feels so bittersweet even tonight. > > > > > > For those who have known me know the story of ladybugs. > > > My dad was unable to talk for the last 2 1/2 yrs of his life. > > > A few months before he passed away ladybugs started > > > showing up in his NH room. We loved to play with them > > > and we began to look forward to the little critters. We would > > > look at the dots, I would count them. We watched as they > > > flew around his room, we laughed and enjoyed them. > > > > > > After dad passed away ladybugs started showing up in > > > the oddest places...on the neurologist's name in my > > > address book, on dad's headstone, on my truck as I > > > would drive away and one of the songs from dad's funeral > > > would play on the radio. These were definitely Godincidences. > > > > > > So, each ladybug is a reminder of my dad and the good > > > times we shared. Tomorrow I shall forever have ladybugs > > > with me as I am scheduled for a tattoo(s). I already have > > > 2 - one angel and one of 4 roses starting with a beautiful > > > yellow rose in memory of my mom. Yellow roses were > > > her absolute favorite. The other 3 roses are colored for > > > the birth months of my boys. > > > > > > I shall start with having a ladybug put on the yellow rose - > > > mom and dad together again. I also plan on having some > > > ladybugs on a toe and crawling up my foot. My dad really > > > hated needles...I really don't like them either so it will be > > another > > > reminder of my dad. > > > > > > Please do me a favor tomorrow and instead of wishing my > > > dad a happy birthday, hug your loved ones one extra time > > > in honor of their life. Cherish these days. That will be the best > > birthday > > > wish to my dad. May all of you be > > > as blessed as I am for having gone through life with LBD. > > > My promise to my dad was that I would be there for him, > > > through everything... " til the end " . > > > > > > Thank you- > > > Sandie and (if not for LBD, we wouldn't have met) > > > Des Moines, IA - for my dad, Merle 7/31/37 - 9/20/02 > > > > > > > > > together again. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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