Re: 10 year Old's Hygiene Issues

[Guest guest]

while i cant say whether this is normal or not , my normal son went though this

in middle school and has out grown this to some degree, however both he and his

dad will wear ripped stained clothing , they simply just dont pay attention or

care , it iisnt important. goo dluck and hope you get soem answers

tj

10 year Old's Hygiene Issues

My son has had ADHD, OCD, ODD, and Tourette's for many years and takes

Strattera, Geodon, Clonidine and Valporal. I am very concerned about his lack

of hygiene...throws everything on the floor, wears dirty or ripped or mismatched

clothing and moans and complains when we tell him to change, won't brush his

teeth or comb his hair, etc...He has many anxieties and obsessions, although

clearly contamination issues and cleanliness are not some of them!

Can anyone tell me if this is part of his disorder (ADHD?), or is this typical

10-year old boy behavior, and what I can do about it? His room is a huge mess,

he piles stuff on his bed and loses things in his it (that I find bunched up

later under the covers), I trip over his stacks of things he won't get rid of or

throw away.

Sticker charts, rewards, etc... don't work for him. He simply doesn't pay

attention to any of the things that other kids are concerned about (looking

good, smelling good, etc...). Is this something he will outgrow, or should we

have his therapist work with him on it?

Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

With 3 sons, my 2 cents on this is that it " could " just be his age

and personality.

Betweeen my 3 sons (oldest 19, twins 15, 15 yr old w/OCD), my oldest

will put things anywhere but the laundry hamper in his room. He also

didn't get to the hygiene/shower, brush teeth often, etc., phase

until....probably later in middle school; then I complained about all

the long showers he was taking daily, using up all the hot

water! One of the twins is what I would guess is " normal " or

what we parents like: showers fine/when needed, puts clothes IN the

hamper, brushes teeth at least twice a day....though he did go thru a

phase when he was young of hating to be dirty. Now he WILL get dirty

(who thought I'd be happy about that?!). The other twin (my OCD

one, who does have Aspergers also - on the autism spectrum) - he was

one I would have to tell to take a shower, brush teeth, etc., would

put it off, didn't feel like it....clothes also on the floor, etc.

Now this year and some last year, is showering more often (I began to

worry about OCD here!), I still have to remind him to brush his hair,

he does mismatch clothes but I put that down to his Aspergers (maybe

it's not)....

OK, so you might can see why I don't have " an " answer for you! It

could be part of one of your son's " disorders " but I would just keep

on being " mom " and " nag " on about it all! Perhaps you can come

up with a few ideas (I'm sure you've already tried lots) to help make

it " easier " for him, even tho it's not up to us parents' quality, of

keeping the room half straight. I know at one time, even though it

meant tubs/boxes sitting around (not exactly decorative), I had put 2

or 3 in my kids rooms that everything (other than clothes) had to go

in to keep up off the floor; perhaps something like that and he has

to have things " off floor, into tubs " before he gets in bed?? Just

one thought.

One problem we have is very limited space and lots of stuff!

Well, no real help from me. But wondering - do you think he is

somewhat of a hoarder? My OCD son was, not so much now, but just

could not get rid of anything when he was younger. Even if it was

candy, he might not eat it but would save it forever!

> My son has had ADHD, OCD, ODD, and Tourette's for many years and

takes Strattera, Geodon, Clonidine and Valporal. I am very concerned

about his lack of hygiene...throws everything on the floor, wears

[Guest guest]

Hi there, could be due to one or the mix of his disorders...being

oppositional (ODD), just too busy/doesn't want to stop what he's doing to do

these boring, low-interest routine activities (ADHD), or avoidance of these

because they trigger obsessions and the need to do compulsions (OCD). Did

you know sometimes people with contamination OCD never bathe etc. because

trying triggers hours-long burdensome showering rituals? Instead they avoid

the whole issue. I read an article that said was this way for

years before he died.

Or, it could just be that he's ten. My daughter (OCD) is ten and she is

just about the same way. She doesn't seem to have anxiety etc. around

showering, toothbrushing, hairbrushing, changing dirty clothes but it is the

very devil trying to get her to do it...she always objects/is

unpleasant/tries to worm out of these. And she would get her room a total

mess so quickly, then be overwhelmed and not know where or how to start when

I would tell her she must pick it up. To get an idea of what's normal given

the age, look at his friends or the other kids in the neighborhood his age,

are they dressed about the same, in about the same condition hair-wise?

If you determine your son has anxiety around bathing, brushing, etc., this

can be approached with ERP. Otherwise, you might have luck doing what we

have done here, which is set limits and have a routine. My daughter must

get ready for the day (dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed) within an hour

of when she gets up or she loses a half-hour of TV that day. If during the

day I want her to change clothes or brush her hair, I try to catch her when

she's not intently interested or involved in something. At 10, I still

organize her clothes for her--school clothes are in the closet, play clothes

in the drawers. I fold/hang her things together in acceptable (to me) sets

so she can " grab and go. " Stained, ripped, etc. clothes just mysteriously

disappear during the laundry process :-) if they aren't in her drawers she

*can't* wear them anymore. You could have your son's hair cut in a style

that doesn't require much attention and washes and dries. I just sort of

looked at all aspects of the whole routine and made each part as " kid

friendly " and convenient as I could, which did seem to increase my

daughter's willingness to do them.

Sometimes someone else chiming in can help change your child's behavior.

Your son may listen to the dentist for example even though he tunes you out

about the importance of brushing. Not too long ago, a friend on the bus

asked my daughter if she ever brushed her hair in the morning before school.

She started doing a better job after that--positive peer pressure!

Re the room being messy--I bet your son like my daughter gets overwhelmed

and doesn't know where to start. I cleaned the room up one last time,

bought a bunch of those plastic crates and arranged them around the edge of

the room, and then told my daughter the new deal: every night she needed to

go upstairs 10 minutes early and put away her things. It is sort of fun to

toss things into the crates. Nothing on the floors or bed. If necessary

(was for my child to begin with), go up with him and direct him ( " next, pick

up the legos and put them ______ " .) By doing this as a part of the bedtime

routine, the room can't get overwhelmingly trashed since it's picked up each

evening. We've been doing this for about a year now and it has worked for

us.

I guess bottom line I just did what I could to set my child up for success

with the personal hygiene things and the organization things. Plus figured

out what my minimum requirements were and focused just on those. I don't

think you can make a child care about how he looks etc. but you can set

limits about those issues.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> My son has had ADHD, OCD, ODD, and Tourette's for many years and takes

Strattera, Geodon, Clonidine and Valporal. I am very concerned about his

lack of hygiene...throws everything on the floor, wears dirty or ripped or

mismatched clothing and moans and complains when we tell him to change,

won't brush his teeth or comb his hair, etc...He has many anxieties and

obsessions, although clearly contamination issues and cleanliness are not

some of them!

> Can anyone tell me if this is part of his disorder (ADHD?), or is this

typical 10-year old boy behavior, and what I can do about it? His room is a

huge mess, he piles stuff on his bed and loses things in his it (that I find

bunched up later under the covers), I trip over his stacks of things he

won't get rid of or throw away.

> Sticker charts, rewards, etc... don't work for him. He simply doesn't pay

attention to any of the things that other kids are concerned about (looking

good, smelling good, etc...). Is this something he will outgrow, or should

we have his therapist work with him on it?

> Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Well, it sounds like a 10 yo boy to me! I was laughing at some of

the ideas suggested, like putting things in plastic crates. My son

(now 23, does not have OCD, although he does have NVLD) always had

the floor covered with clothes, and it was impossible to tell what

was clean and what was dirty. I tried the boxes/crates strategy

with him. After a few tries, he said, " Mom, when I'm looking for

something, I have to dig through all these boxes to find it. If

it's out in plain sight on my floor, I can find it more easily. "

So, of course I suggested we could sort the items by type before

placing them in the crates--shirts in one, socks in another, etc.

He thought that might work. Then he complained that they took up

too much floor space, and he was always stubbing his toes on the

crates.

So, I suggested perhaps the crates could be placed on shelves, with

handles so they could be pulled out easily....He said, " Wait, Mom, I

think I already have a piece of furniture just like that.... " and

pointed to his (perpetually empty) bureau ;-)

The reality was that there just was no reward for him in the work it

would take to sort items and place them in crates (or bureau

drawers, for that matter)! Nor was there a reward for brushing his

hair, showering, or brushing his teeth!

I think he's finally somewhat better in these areas, mostly because

he has a wife who picks up after him and nags him about his personal

hygiene (or lack thereof). But young boys just are like that.

Actually my two dd's (ages 30 and 17) lived much the same way

(cleaner bodies, hair, and teeth, but clothes all over the floor)

for most of their childhoods. The oldest keeps a pretty clean home

today (maybe because of a need to babyproof), and the youngest, who

has OCD, claims that when she moves to a dorm next fall she will do

much better, so she won't impose on her roommate! We'll see....but

I do have some hope, since I've seen the others mature eventually!