What's up with

[Guest guest]

Well, 's health is declining -- slowly, but declining all the same.

His liver numbers are very good, and, thus, he is not a candidate for a

liver transplant. We've been trying with no real success to get his docs to

look into other causes of his problems (weight loss -- at 6'3 " , he weighs

around 140 lbs; inability to eat and keep down solid food; fatigue; bouts of

sweating; always feeling cold -- it's in the mid-90s here today and he's

wearing long underwear and a sweat suit). If his liver is in such great

shape, why is he so ill??

Today we had to put one of our two cats, Vivaldi, to sleep. I got the cats

in 2002 about the same time came into my life. I'd never had cats and

had no idea how distinct their personalities would be and how they'd make

themselves part of our lives. Vivi was around 16 or 17 and had developed a

hyper-thyroid condition. We'd been giving him meds for a month and he just

wasn't responding. He lost so much weight that handling seemed to cause him

discomfort, and he was getting weaker. I was out of town for two weeks and

returned last Monday. says Vivi waited for my return before he was

ready to go. When we held him as the vet gave him the injection, read

from Psalm 24, but paraphrased a bit, referring to those who are " clean of

paw and pure of heart " . Vivi was surely clean of paw and pure of heart.

says he knows Vivi is now waiting for him.

I think losing Vivi has brought 's frailty closer to home - more to our

consciousness. Being away from for two weeks, I see both his physical

frailty more and notice that mentally he's deteriorated -- he's more

forgetful and absent-minded.

There's something about 's condition I've not yet shared with you all

but I am now able to share it. His cirrhosis was diagnosed as alcohol

related but he believes that is only the proximate cause, not the general

cause. In 2002 worked at a nuclear facility and believes he was

exposed to plutonium -- both that he got plutonium on his skin and inhaled

it. When he was first hospitalized we mentioned this to his GI doctor who

very firmly said, " Radiation poisoning doesn't affect the liver. " She seemed

so certain of herself. We've since learned that plutonium, in fact, deposits

in the liver and long bones. So we are exploring whether this exposure has

contributed to 's condition. He is in the process of locating the right

health care professionals to test him for plutonium and to treat him if it's

found that he has plutonium in his body and if there is treatment that will

help. The plutonium isotope created at the facility where worked is

unique, so if his body contains that isotope, it had to come from that

exposure. Incidentally, when reported to his employer (who had a

contract with the facility) that he thought he'd suffered exposure, they

fired him.

The progress of 's illness is not linear. There have been times when he

seemed close to the end, and then pulled back. But today the end seems in

view. Not today or this month -- who knows?? It's probably best that we

cannot know. Watching him suffer, being unable to help him, is the hardest

thing I've ever done.

Thanks for listening and being here for me. I appreciate this group so much.

All the best for a great July 4 Holiday to you and yours.

Dorothy