School comments

[Guest guest]

I have posted much about my 10yr son and school problems. I would like

opinions following a conversation I had with the school superintendent

by phone. I got the call inquiring about my son,his absence from

school from the first day on. I told them he was absent due to medical

reasons. The super wanted to know what hospital my son was in. Also

the super requested to visit him there. I said he is north of

Seattle{4hrs away}.She said thats fine. I told her I did not want to

give those details at this time or sign approval for her visit. She

insisted and I held firm. I told her I would be withdrawing him for

medical reasons. She said it was a shame beings he had his best school

year ever last year. She told me I couldnt just withdraw him and there

would be a lot of paper work to file. I said that was fine,I would do

the paperwork and get the needed Dr.s to sign. She then says " you cant

blame this on the school " . She never stated what " this " was exactly.

My son had his worst school year last year. It had profound effects on

his mental health and he regressed and developed severe ocd

behavior,school phobia and eating disorder. I filed a civil rights

complaint. I requested copies of all his education files and iep files

from preschool-4th. The superintendent wasnt very happy with me for

causing such trouble,she told me herself. She and I have a very cold

relationship. I obtained the iep files. The behavior files,suspensions

and punishment,complaints files were shredded by the school by their

own admission, after my request to have copies. As a remedy the

superintendent agreed via civil rights mediation to have staff

training for ocd before the start of school. The school requested I

take this training also. I agreed and invited also my sons behavior

therapist. The training event never happened. My son has an iep. I

requested an aide,services to no avail. No special classes or

instruction for PDD/OCD ect. was ever put in place. All medical

opinions say his experience at this school had a negative effect on

him. I did get my sons school behavior under control and answered

their complaints,his " good year " of acceptable behavior. He brought the

stress home. Now school kids are harassing his twin sister about her

brother,teasing her. A school worker stopped by our house over the

weekend. I was gone visiting my son. My husband told the woman my son

was in a psychiatric hospital. Sure enough the new tease at my

daughter is that her brother is in the coo coo ward. Wonder where they

heard that-school worker visit I am sure. My daughter doesnt know

anything except her brother is in a hospital,not even the name of it.

Kids are making little coo coo jokes and telling my daughter how much

they hate my son calling him a weirdo and other bad things and how

happy they are hes gone. I do not believe the super wants to visit him

for any good,caring reason. Am I just being over protective or

paranoid about her visiting him? I want him to feel safe enough to

talk about his school experiences. He knows this woman{small

town-district},yet I am afraid he will feel intrusion or quit talking

about his school problems. Maybe its just me who thinks like that.

What do you parents think from your own experiences with schools?

Thanks,

Tishanne

[Guest guest]

Wow!

I would first have to say that the superintendent doesn't have any

rights to access your child beyond that which you grant. Unless

there is something about guardianship that has been signed over. I am

continually surprised at how much liberty the district

representatives take as they act like they have rights of ownership

over our children just because they are responsible for ensuring that

they receive a free and appropriate public education.

I have yet to receive a check from these individuals or have any of

them offer to come by and deal with the challenges we all face on a

24/7 basis (middle of the night is always fun). So unless there is

some law that grants them rights, they all have a misplaced sense of

their position in these situations.

That being said, they continue to ask, or insist, because in many

cases someone might allow it. They will generally do this as it

gives them the ability to gain insight to a situation that might be

used as leverage at some later time. Sounds like you may have

experienced this.

As to the shredding of documents. (is the supers name Nixon?)

This is first and foremost illegal.

The district has an obligation to provide copies of all records

within a (5 day?) period of time after a formal request has been made.

A formal request should be in writing and delivered via usps mail

that requires signature or by fax that gives confirming page...or

both. I have personally taken a number of requests in and required

signatures from the recipient.

This action of shredding, and evasive behavior on behalf of the

district, coupled with the defensive posture of " not being their

fault " , and the aggressive manner in which they continue to hound you

and attempt to tell you what to do..just screams to me that you

should have a lawyer.

It sounds like you might have a case to pursue that would allow you

to get the appropriate care to minimize the damage done by the

district if it determined that they are at fault.

From the indication of how the school worker is passing on private

information and the district is allowing the abuse and bullying of

your daughter, I would have to say that you really should pursue a

case to get the resources and help you need for your child.

The bad thing is that you are having to go through this.

The good thing (if anything like this could ever be considered good)

is that the district is setting itself up for a lawsuit in which you

would not have to deal with them and could get the resources paid for

by them.

The best recommendation I can make is..document everything, tape

conversations and IEPs (not secretly, but with 48 hours notification

to the other parties) and get someone to look at the legal aspects of

this to determine where you really stand.

I am very sorry to hear about the regression.

It is what many of us fear.

Good luck, and I hope this response helps in some fashion.

>

> I have posted much about my 10yr son and school problems. I would

like

> opinions following a conversation I had with the school

superintendent

> by phone. I got the call inquiring about my son,his absence from

> school from the first day on. I told them he was absent due to

medical

> reasons. The super wanted to know what hospital my son was in. Also

> the super requested to visit him there. I said he is north of

> Seattle{4hrs away}.She said thats fine. I told her I did not want to

> give those details at this time or sign approval for her visit. She

> insisted and I held firm. I told her I would be withdrawing him for

> medical reasons. She said it was a shame beings he had his best

school

> year ever last year. She told me I couldnt just withdraw him and

there

> would be a lot of paper work to file. I said that was fine,I would

do

> the paperwork and get the needed Dr.s to sign. She then says " you

cant

> blame this on the school " . She never stated what " this " was exactly.

> My son had his worst school year last year. It had profound effects

on

> his mental health and he regressed and developed severe ocd

> behavior,school phobia and eating disorder. I filed a civil rights

> complaint. I requested copies of all his education files and iep

files

> from preschool-4th. The superintendent wasnt very happy with me for

> causing such trouble,she told me herself. She and I have a very cold

> relationship. I obtained the iep files. The behavior

files,suspensions

> and punishment,complaints files were shredded by the school by their

> own admission, after my request to have copies. As a remedy the

> superintendent agreed via civil rights mediation to have staff

> training for ocd before the start of school. The school requested I

> take this training also. I agreed and invited also my sons behavior

> therapist. The training event never happened. My son has an iep. I

> requested an aide,services to no avail. No special classes or

> instruction for PDD/OCD ect. was ever put in place. All medical

> opinions say his experience at this school had a negative effect on

> him. I did get my sons school behavior under control and answered

> their complaints,his " good year " of acceptable behavior. He brought

the

> stress home. Now school kids are harassing his twin sister about her

> brother,teasing her. A school worker stopped by our house over the

> weekend. I was gone visiting my son. My husband told the woman my

son

> was in a psychiatric hospital. Sure enough the new tease at my

> daughter is that her brother is in the coo coo ward. Wonder where

they

> heard that-school worker visit I am sure. My daughter doesnt know

> anything except her brother is in a hospital,not even the name of

it.

> Kids are making little coo coo jokes and telling my daughter how

much

> they hate my son calling him a weirdo and other bad things and how

> happy they are hes gone. I do not believe the super wants to visit

him

> for any good,caring reason. Am I just being over protective or

> paranoid about her visiting him? I want him to feel safe enough to

> talk about his school experiences. He knows this woman{small

> town-district},yet I am afraid he will feel intrusion or quit

talking

> about his school problems. Maybe its just me who thinks like that.

> What do you parents think from your own experiences with schools?

> Thanks,

> Tishanne

>