Re: And the fun begins...

[Guest guest]

Wow--less than two weeks before school starts and it is starting up! Hannah,

my thirteen year old, finally melted last night. We have had a very long

summer of ERP and she has done really well. The doctor and I had to force the

issue but Hannah jumped in and tackled a couple of big compulsions. She is

almost over her deodorant issues (can put it on without washing her hands

afterwards) and has made great strides in brushing her teeth with toothpaste in

the

bathroom. She has been " off " the last week and begging me to take her shopping

(another compulsion). I have been refusing and she finally let it all out

last night. She is so worried about eighth grade she can hardly stand it. She

was not in PE last year (because of the deodorant issues) and was determined to

do it this year. I knew she wasn't ready and she admitted it last night.

She is also worried about the library (!?) because the librarian is rather

brusque and Hannah gets nervous on the computer. When she made a mistake one

time, the librarian turned the computer off, telling her she had lost the

privilege. Everything that has happened since then is probably in Hannah's own

head

and due to her thinking that the librarian hates her. Sigh. I have met the

gal and she is okay--she deals with middle school kids and probably doesn't give

any of her interactions with them a second thought. Hannah, in the meantime,

is terrified of going to the library. Every bad thing that has happened to

her at school is flooding her brain right now. We ended on a pretty good note

though so I am hoping that just by talking about it some of the pressure is

gone. I just wanted to vent--I know that everyone else out there with kids

starting school is going through the same thing. Kelley in NV

[Guest guest]

Count us in too!!! I was up for hours last night counseling my NON-OCD child

about his school-related stress, and Annie is gradually winding up as well.

She is still just thrilled and excited about middle school - the crash will come

after a week or two when she realizes how hard the social scene is going to

be. I can feel my stress levels rise with each day as well, so I'm sure I'm

just adding to the general level of trauma around here.

My Annie is just like Hannah and Anne in the " taking things way too hard "

category. I've had to warn every teacher in her life that a mild correction to

her will be interpreted as " yelling " and she will be devastated. She still has

not gotten over being " yelled at " when she was four, a few months after her OCD

onset, by a preschool teacher. She had seen me approaching the school where

the kids were waiting outside for their parents. The teacher didn't see me and

told her to sit back down. She fell apart crying and crying. The teacher

thought she was scared that I wasn't going to ever come. No, she was just

traumatized for life by being told " Sit down, Annie " . She still remembers it as

being

yelled at. Sigh.

Life is just so hard for these kids.

Kudos to you for your smart response . Suggesting that Anne add up the

positives to counter the negatives is a very smart way to deal with

catastrophizing. I'll have to remember to try that.

Best wishes to you and all everyone else these next few weeks!

in NV

[Guest guest]

Hi Kelley-

We're there...doing that, too. Yesterday, Anne's 8th grade schedule

and team assignment came in the mail. *Everything* was wrong...all

the teacher's on the team 'hated' her; it was the 'reject' team;

none of her friends were on her team; it was going to be a horrible

year;...and on and on. While listening to Anne, I tried to encourage

her to think of two positive things for every negative thought...to

try to stay in the 'plus' column. Encouragingly, today she seems a

bit better. She thinks she can 'co-exist' with one of the teachers;

another teacher she really adores; her best friend *is* on her

team...Anne seems able to put things in better perspective (today,

anyway). It seems like OCD takes the 'usual' teenage stresses and

magnifies them 1000-fold. Anne is so much like Hannah in her

sensitivity to any negative input from an adult authority figure at

school (the librarian example). I'm glad Hannah is able to talk to

you to relieve some of her pressure as well...and I'm glad you're

able to vent here . I hope the positive ending to last night

continues through today for you and Hannah.

Blessings to you, and thanks for posting. It helps to know others

are in my shoes and understand-

(Ohio)