Dennis/Abijann

[Guest guest]

Dennis,and Abijann

I want to truly wish you and your families a happy and full Christmas

and holiday season.

Even though we are worlds apart, our circumstances aren't. Dennis, I

wish for and pray that you and your Mom stay well, and remain that

way! :-) I wish I was stationed in Florida. I bet we could have quite a

conversation together!

Abijann,

I am so thankful to have come across this group and have read your

posts. You are an inspiration, I'm sure to many. What keeps us going?

I think we both have that same learning desire. I wish I could just

send you a broadband connection for Christmas! :-)

And not to forget Dorothy,

Thanks for providing us the forum.

MaC

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!!!!!

" Time flies...so is life, it's the everyday we forget to see. "

Take care,

Your friend,

,

(MaC)

[Guest guest]

Both of your posts really hit home.

First, Dennis, your right when Gsaunders posted " My husband died tonight. " and

how just those few words were so enormous. Those words took me back to the

last week I spent with my wife. And I recollected while in the hospital, how

strong and happy she was . I was an emotional disaster, but she would still

make everyone laugh and smile. When the doctor came in and gave us the final

blow (so to speak) that she didn't have long. She shook his hand, smiled and

thanked him for his help. I even thought the doctor was going to cry. The

nurses already had.

And Abijann, your right, sometimes our vocabulary limits how we can express our

love. That's why your posts are so important and they remind us of the everyday

things we can do to make someones life that much better. Even if it's coming

over to do the dishes, mow the yard or make them tea. Every little bit counts.

And I am lucky that I was given the chance to find my true love. And, I could

not imagine being in love with anyone else.

And wrote about Paying it Forward. She's right. If more people did the

right thing and shared that or payed it forward we would all be better off.

MaC

abijann <no_reply > wrote: I

agree with you...when someone leaves us it isn't easy putting

how we feel into just a few words....it seems our vocabulary

is not enough. I've been thinking of gsaunders alot also and

wonder if she is on here. I hope she will stay with the group..

Dealing with my own feelings about death took me a good deal of

time. It seems society tries to rush this process. I have to

admit I'm not good at that. My brother died a few years back and

even when I answer the phone, I wish I could still hear his voice.

They say time heals, this might be true...but the memories are

with us everyday in everything we do. You and Mac have really

inspired me...I'm not sure yet, that is something happens to

my husband if I will be okay through it all. Even when I go

somewhere and talk to someone, the words that he might say in

any given situation, pops into my head and sometimes I have

to smile, cause he is such a card. I try not to react to

what people say with his reaction...but it is still there.

Mac, you, and I are truly blessed to have had a chance at true

love...some live a lifetime and never come to know it.

__

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[Guest guest]

I remember the night...about a week before her death...Kjersten woke me at two

or three in the morning...I'm a pretty sound sleeper, so it took some

doing...but she was really in tears. I said, " What's wrong? Are you OK? " And

she said, " I just want to know that you'll be with me when I die. " I said, " Of

course I'll be with you ... but that's a long time away. " Then she said, " Just

hold me now. " And I did.

I often think that those who are close to death understand it better and more

immediately than those who are left behind. Our last night together (before she

fell into a coma), we had watched a favorite movie and laughed and said the

lines together. When I left (to go home and feed the cats), we made a date to

meet for lunch. It was Memorial Day weekend and I was due back at work the next

morning. She was scheduled for a paracentesis early and we thought she might go

home that afternoon.

As I started out the room, she called me back. I'm not quite sure how to

explain this...but most of us are used to saying " love ya " to those we love...we

mean it certainly, but....but...I'm not sure how to explain this except that she

called me back and held my hand and said, " I love you " with a depth that I

cannot describe. It...I'm not sure how to say this...the way she said " I love

you " upset me. There was something about the way she said it that unsettled

me.

The next morning she was in a coma. A few days later, she was gone. And, yet,

she is not. She never wil be.

You know, Mac, that your wife, like mine, will never be gone.

Take care,

Dennis

To: livercirrhosissupport@...: mac0184@...: Sat, 24

Feb 2007 19:00:50 -0800Subject: Re: Dennis/Abijann

Both of your posts really hit home.First, Dennis, your right when Gsaunders

posted " My husband died tonight. " and how just those few words were so enormous.

Those words took me back to the last week I spent with my wife. And I

recollected while in the hospital, how strong and happy she was . I was an

emotional disaster, but she would still make everyone laugh and smile. When the

doctor came in and gave us the final blow (so to speak) that she didn't have

long. She shook his hand, smiled and thanked him for his help. I even thought

the doctor was going to cry. The nurses already had.And Abijann, your right,

sometimes our vocabulary limits how we can express our love. That's why your

posts are so important and they remind us of the everyday things we can do to

make someones life that much better. Even if it's coming over to do the dishes,

mow the yard or make them tea. Every little bit counts. And I am lucky that I

was given the chance to find my true love. And, I could not imagine being in

love with anyone else.And wrote about Paying it Forward. She's right. If

more people did the right thing and shared that or payed it forward we would all

be better off.MaCabijann <no_reply > wrote: I agree with

you...when someone leaves us it isn't easy puttinghow we feel into just a few

words....it seems our vocabulary is not enough. I've been thinking of gsaunders

alot also andwonder if she is on here. I hope she will stay with the

group..Dealing with my own feelings about death took me a good deal oftime. It

seems society tries to rush this process. I have toadmit I'm not good at that.

My brother died a few years back andeven when I answer the phone, I wish I could

still hear his voice.They say time heals, this might be true...but the memories

arewith us everyday in everything we do. You and Mac have reallyinspired

me...I'm not sure yet, that is something happens tomy husband if I will be okay

through it all. Even when I gosomewhere and talk to someone, the words that he

might say inany given situation, pops into my head and sometimes I haveto smile,

cause he is such a card. I try not to react towhat people say with his

reaction...but it is still there. Mac, you, and I are truly blessed to have had

a chance at truelove...some live a lifetime and never come to know it.

__---------------------------------No need to miss a message. Get email

on-the-go with Yahoo! Mail for Mobile. Get started.[Non-text portions of this

message have been removed]

[Guest guest]

I know exactly how you mean. The Friday before my wife died she had called me

from her bed. (I had to leave the hospital after visiting hours and take care of

our daughter.) After our conversation she said goodbye. The way she said it, had

a heaviness to it, or like you described, a depth. In past conversations she

never used that word when we hung up. We always used a korean word for " later " .

But that day she chose goodbye. The way she said it still touches me.

The next morning I went to see her, and she had lost the ability to speak

because of her encephalopathy. She woke during the afternoon and looked at me. I

said I loved her, she looked at me, nodded, and went to sleep.

And even though I know she's not gone from my heart, it still hurts.

MaC

Dennis wrote: I

remember the night...about a week before her death...Kjersten woke me at two or

three in the morning...I'm a pretty sound sleeper, so it took some doing...but

she was really in tears. I said, " What's wrong? Are you OK? " And she said, " I

just want to know that you'll be with me when I die. " I said, " Of course I'll

be with you ... but that's a long time away. " Then she said, " Just hold me

now. " And I did.

I often think that those who are close to death understand it better and more

immediately than those who are left behind. Our last night together (before she

fell into a coma), we had watched a favorite movie and laughed and said the

lines together. When I left (to go home and feed the cats), we made a date to

meet for lunch. It was Memorial Day weekend and I was due back at work the next

morning. She was scheduled for a paracentesis early and we thought she might go

home that afternoon.

As I started out the room, she called me back. I'm not quite sure how to

explain this...but most of us are used to saying " love ya " to those we love...we

mean it certainly, but....but...I'm not sure how to explain this except that she

called me back and held my hand and said, " I love you " with a depth that I

cannot describe. It...I'm not sure how to say this...the way she said " I love

you " upset me. There was something about the way she said it that unsettled

me.

The next morning she was in a coma. A few days later, she was gone. And, yet,

she is not. She never wil be.

You know, Mac, that your wife, like mine, will never be gone.

Take care,

Dennis

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