Re: Any advice???

[Guest guest]

There are a few warning flags here. First, how old is your husband?

Once the transplant team finds out he's been drinking of the list he goes!

The confusion is from Encephalopathy. This can effect everyone differently. This

means that blood toxins are seeping into the brain. How much Lactalose daily is

he taking? I would recommend 4 table spoons daily. Or 4oz every 4 hours. Too

much doesn't hurt. Alpha Lipoic Acid helps as well.

For Jaundice, take a very good look at his eyes (in very good light) or even

outside. Look at his urine. If his stools are white or clay looking then there

is definitely a problem.

Itching is the main problem of liver disease. Does he have that?

If his stomach is enlarged then he probably has ascites.

Withought knowing the medical history and blood work of your friend it's hard to

say how far off he is. But, If someone walked into the ER with liver problem

with ascites then the prognosis would be poor. Especially if drinkinig is

envolved.

If he has liver problems and drinks, then go outside pick up a rock and walk

inside and through it at him! And, if he compains, then explain the process of

liver failure.

We can live from being hit from a rock.

We die from liver failure.

MaC

gsaunders5@... wrote: My husband has

cirrhosis and Hep C. He is on a liver transplant list. He had stopped drinking

for 3 years and 4 months ago started back. He stops for a few days and then back

at it. I'm not sure if he is off or on at this time. He takes Lactalose daily.

In the last month he has been very confused a couple of times and could not find

his way home. After sleeping that night he would wake up fine. I do not

understand if the amonia goes down that fast?? I really do not know what is

going on with him. The last test show his bilirubin high but, he does not look

jaundiced. His stomach is so large. Our relationship is so strained from trust

issues with the drinking that I really feel in the dark about the stage of his

health. Any advice?

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

My husband is 43. I don't have a clue about his stools or urine. He was taking

Lactalose in the morning but, now more often. He recently had blood work but, I

don't have any numbers on that. He basically lets me know what he wants me to

know. I have been the one to care for him and would be the one caring for him

with a transplant. I'm really in the dark for what I am in store for. I don't

believe he is drinking at this time, but I don't know.

Are you the one with liver disease or someone you care for?

---- MaC wrote:

> There are a few warning flags here. First, how old is your husband?

> Once the transplant team finds out he's been drinking of the list he goes!

> The confusion is from Encephalopathy. This can effect everyone differently.

This means that blood toxins are seeping into the brain. How much Lactalose

daily is he taking? I would recommend 4 table spoons daily. Or 4oz every 4

hours. Too much doesn't hurt. Alpha Lipoic Acid helps as well.

>

> For Jaundice, take a very good look at his eyes (in very good light) or even

outside. Look at his urine. If his stools are white or clay looking then there

is definitely a problem.

> Itching is the main problem of liver disease. Does he have that?

> If his stomach is enlarged then he probably has ascites.

> Withought knowing the medical history and blood work of your friend it's hard

to say how far off he is. But, If someone walked into the ER with liver problem

with ascites then the prognosis would be poor. Especially if drinkinig is

envolved.

>

> If he has liver problems and drinks, then go outside pick up a rock and walk

inside and through it at him! And, if he compains, then explain the process of

liver failure.

> We can live from being hit from a rock.

> We die from liver failure.

>

> MaC

>

>

>

> gsaunders5@... wrote: My husband has

cirrhosis and Hep C. He is on a liver transplant list. He had stopped drinking

for 3 years and 4 months ago started back. He stops for a few days and then back

at it. I'm not sure if he is off or on at this time. He takes Lactalose daily.

In the last month he has been very confused a couple of times and could not find

his way home. After sleeping that night he would wake up fine. I do not

understand if the amonia goes down that fast?? I really do not know what is

going on with him. The last test show his bilirubin high but, he does not look

jaundiced. His stomach is so large. Our relationship is so strained from trust

issues with the drinking that I really feel in the dark about the stage of his

health. Any advice?

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Let me make two comments:

First, and I'm sure you know this: The quickest way for an alcoholic to get

taken off a liver transplant list is to start drinking. The supply of livers

for transplant is so limited that they won't " waste " them on a patient who

is " non-compliant " . They want to transplant people who have the highest

likelihood of a long and healthy life. A patient with cirrhosis who actively

drinks doesn't fit the criteria.

Second, that being said, remember that you didn't cause his drinking and

cannot control it. And you certainly shouldn't see it as some sort of insult

to you. Your husband is an adult human being and will make his own

decisions, even if they're as crack-brained as your husband's decision to

drink. I HEARTILY recommend that you go to Al-Anon. You cannot care for him

if your own well-being (mental, physical, emotional) is compromised. The

Al-Anon program will help you understand the disease of alcoholism, and help

you understand what you can and cannot do. You can remain healthy, positive

and calm yourself. You cannot stop him from drinking. The miracle I

discovered was that when I went to Al-Anon, my husband stopped drinking.

Cause and effect? Who knows. He also was to the point where drinking made

him ill. But I also think that when I stopped focusing on the drinking, I

was able to reconnect with the husband I loved and we're closer now than

we've ever been.

All the best!

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

Wow...I first want to say I'm sorry you are so in the dark. I understand what

you are going through. I'm just not in a much better place to be giving advice.

Your story sounds a good bit like mine. The members here on this group are so

good to answer questions and lift ones spirits.

Dorthy since I am a good deal in the same boat I just want to ask. Do you

think your husband and you are closer today because he did quit drinking or that

you would be in the same place without his stopping the drinking?

Everyone Happy Thanksgiving & God Bless.

MiksMom

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

MiksMom asked,

Dorthy since I am a good deal in the same boat I just want to ask. Do you

think your husband and you are closer today because he did quit drinking or

that you would be in the same place without his stopping the drinking?

--------------

Wow, you do ask the tough questions, don't you??? That's a real thought

provoker!

First, I think there are two basic reasons stopped drinking. One is

that he's a smart guy and realized drinking was compromising his health in a

big way and at an early age. While we believe his cirrhosis had another

cause that the doctors refuse to investigate, no one with a compromised

liver can drink; he " got that " . The second is that when I stopped nagging

him, it took a good deal of the pressure off.

Second, perhaps our relationship would not be " as good " today, but I think

it would still be better if he were still drinking. Our relationship started

to improve when I stopped nagging. I discovered that I had marginalized him.

I'd made him my " problem " instead of my husband. I treated him like a chore,

rather than a person, and I wasn't listening to things he desperately needed

to tell me. I was in Al Anon for several months before he stopped drinking

and, of course, for several months after he stopped I held my breath afraid

he'd start again. All that time I tried to tend to my own knitting

(understand and work on my own obsessions and defects of character) and let

him tend to his. Letting go of an obsession is never easy, and I really

credit Al Anon with helping me get my own house in order.

Even before I went to Al Anon I'd developed Dorothy's Theory of Human

Happiness and Al Anon simply reinforced it. Here it is for what it's worth:

Most of us spend so much time worrying about other people's problems and

other things we cannot control. This takes up all our effort so we have

little time to focus on what we CAN control -- ourselves. Whether you say

the Serenity Prayer, or remember Jesus' remark about the mote in your

neighbor's eye vs. the beam in your own, or you follow another philosophy, I

think the message is the same: We would be happier if we focused on our own

business and left others to focus on theirs. I finally realized that the

rest of the world would ABSOLUTELY NOT be better off if they let me run

their lives!

Thus endeth the lesson.

Cheers!

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

I was a care giver to my wife before she passed away one year ago last Monday.

They attributed my wifes cirrhosis to alcohol but as with dorothy I think

something else initiated her liver problems. She was only 28 whe she started

having liver problems and 31 when she passed away. She tried several times to

quit drinking but couldn't beat the disease. I wasn't aware of Al Anon then as

I'm sure that would have been an avenue for me. I'm sure my constant bickering

and nagging and trying to control her drinking didn't in any way help her cope

with it. But at the same time I don't think taking a back seat to it helps

either.

I'm sorry to hear your husbands is headed down that path. I pray he wakes up or

sees the light and wants to quit. And I pray for you to be strong.

MaC

gsaunders5@... wrote: My husband is 43. I

don't have a clue about his stools or urine. He was taking Lactalose in the

morning but, now more often. He recently had blood work but, I don't have any

numbers on that. He basically lets me know what he wants me to know. I have been

the one to care for him and would be the one caring for him with a transplant.

I'm really in the dark for what I am in store for. I don't believe he is

drinking at this time, but I don't know.

Are you the one with liver disease or someone you care for?

-

---------------------------------

Cheap Talk? Check out Yahoo! Messenger's low PC-to-Phone call rates.

[Guest guest]

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your wife. I have been to Alanon and I didn't

care for it. All of the people I met there were telling stories of living and

coping with an alcoholic. I struggle because I don't want to figure out how to

live with one. I know I will have to do something.

Thank you for your kind and caring words.

---- MaC wrote:

> I was a care giver to my wife before she passed away one year ago last Monday.

> They attributed my wifes cirrhosis to alcohol but as with dorothy I think

something else initiated her liver problems. She was only 28 whe she started

having liver problems and 31 when she passed away. She tried several times to

quit drinking but couldn't beat the disease. I wasn't aware of Al Anon then as

I'm sure that would have been an avenue for me. I'm sure my constant bickering

and nagging and trying to control her drinking didn't in any way help her cope

with it. But at the same time I don't think taking a back seat to it helps

either.

>

> I'm sorry to hear your husbands is headed down that path. I pray he wakes up

or sees the light and wants to quit. And I pray for you to be strong.

>

> MaC

>

> gsaunders5@... wrote: My husband is 43. I

don't have a clue about his stools or urine. He was taking Lactalose in the

morning but, now more often. He recently had blood work but, I don't have any

numbers on that. He basically lets me know what he wants me to know. I have been

the one to care for him and would be the one caring for him with a transplant.

I'm really in the dark for what I am in store for. I don't believe he is

drinking at this time, but I don't know.

> Are you the one with liver disease or someone you care for?

>

> -

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Cheap Talk? Check out Yahoo! Messenger's low PC-to-Phone call rates.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am so glad to have someone that understands. There is no one that knows and

understands. I want my husband to be better and I am so angry that he is sick

and has not been committed to helping himself live.

I feel like everyone looks to me to take care of him and that my life doesn't

really mean anything. It is so emotionally draining and I feel a responsibility

to keep him alive. I try to read about the disease but, there is no comparison

to first hand information from those who live it.

Thanks for the ear.

---- Leigh Schwendeman wrote:

> Wow...I first want to say I'm sorry you are so in the dark. I understand what

you are going through. I'm just not in a much better place to be giving advice.

Your story sounds a good bit like mine. The members here on this group are so

good to answer questions and lift ones spirits.

>

> Dorthy since I am a good deal in the same boat I just want to ask. Do you

think your husband and you are closer today because he did quit drinking or that

you would be in the same place without his stopping the drinking?

>

> Everyone Happy Thanksgiving & God Bless.

> MiksMom

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Access over 1 million songs - Yahoo! Music Unlimited.

>

>