Guest guest Posted November 22, 2006 Report Share Posted November 22, 2006 There are a few warning flags here. First, how old is your husband? Once the transplant team finds out he's been drinking of the list he goes! The confusion is from Encephalopathy. This can effect everyone differently. This means that blood toxins are seeping into the brain. How much Lactalose daily is he taking? I would recommend 4 table spoons daily. Or 4oz every 4 hours. Too much doesn't hurt. Alpha Lipoic Acid helps as well. For Jaundice, take a very good look at his eyes (in very good light) or even outside. Look at his urine. If his stools are white or clay looking then there is definitely a problem. Itching is the main problem of liver disease. Does he have that? If his stomach is enlarged then he probably has ascites. Withought knowing the medical history and blood work of your friend it's hard to say how far off he is. But, If someone walked into the ER with liver problem with ascites then the prognosis would be poor. Especially if drinkinig is envolved. If he has liver problems and drinks, then go outside pick up a rock and walk inside and through it at him! And, if he compains, then explain the process of liver failure. We can live from being hit from a rock. We die from liver failure. MaC gsaunders5@... wrote: My husband has cirrhosis and Hep C. He is on a liver transplant list. He had stopped drinking for 3 years and 4 months ago started back. He stops for a few days and then back at it. I'm not sure if he is off or on at this time. He takes Lactalose daily. In the last month he has been very confused a couple of times and could not find his way home. After sleeping that night he would wake up fine. I do not understand if the amonia goes down that fast?? I really do not know what is going on with him. The last test show his bilirubin high but, he does not look jaundiced. His stomach is so large. Our relationship is so strained from trust issues with the drinking that I really feel in the dark about the stage of his health. Any advice? --------------------------------- Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 My husband is 43. I don't have a clue about his stools or urine. He was taking Lactalose in the morning but, now more often. He recently had blood work but, I don't have any numbers on that. He basically lets me know what he wants me to know. I have been the one to care for him and would be the one caring for him with a transplant. I'm really in the dark for what I am in store for. I don't believe he is drinking at this time, but I don't know. Are you the one with liver disease or someone you care for? ---- MaC wrote: > There are a few warning flags here. First, how old is your husband? > Once the transplant team finds out he's been drinking of the list he goes! > The confusion is from Encephalopathy. This can effect everyone differently. This means that blood toxins are seeping into the brain. How much Lactalose daily is he taking? I would recommend 4 table spoons daily. Or 4oz every 4 hours. Too much doesn't hurt. Alpha Lipoic Acid helps as well. > > For Jaundice, take a very good look at his eyes (in very good light) or even outside. Look at his urine. If his stools are white or clay looking then there is definitely a problem. > Itching is the main problem of liver disease. Does he have that? > If his stomach is enlarged then he probably has ascites. > Withought knowing the medical history and blood work of your friend it's hard to say how far off he is. But, If someone walked into the ER with liver problem with ascites then the prognosis would be poor. Especially if drinkinig is envolved. > > If he has liver problems and drinks, then go outside pick up a rock and walk inside and through it at him! And, if he compains, then explain the process of liver failure. > We can live from being hit from a rock. > We die from liver failure. > > MaC > > > > gsaunders5@... wrote: My husband has cirrhosis and Hep C. He is on a liver transplant list. He had stopped drinking for 3 years and 4 months ago started back. He stops for a few days and then back at it. I'm not sure if he is off or on at this time. He takes Lactalose daily. In the last month he has been very confused a couple of times and could not find his way home. After sleeping that night he would wake up fine. I do not understand if the amonia goes down that fast?? I really do not know what is going on with him. The last test show his bilirubin high but, he does not look jaundiced. His stomach is so large. Our relationship is so strained from trust issues with the drinking that I really feel in the dark about the stage of his health. Any advice? > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Let me make two comments: First, and I'm sure you know this: The quickest way for an alcoholic to get taken off a liver transplant list is to start drinking. The supply of livers for transplant is so limited that they won't " waste " them on a patient who is " non-compliant " . They want to transplant people who have the highest likelihood of a long and healthy life. A patient with cirrhosis who actively drinks doesn't fit the criteria. Second, that being said, remember that you didn't cause his drinking and cannot control it. And you certainly shouldn't see it as some sort of insult to you. Your husband is an adult human being and will make his own decisions, even if they're as crack-brained as your husband's decision to drink. I HEARTILY recommend that you go to Al-Anon. You cannot care for him if your own well-being (mental, physical, emotional) is compromised. The Al-Anon program will help you understand the disease of alcoholism, and help you understand what you can and cannot do. You can remain healthy, positive and calm yourself. You cannot stop him from drinking. The miracle I discovered was that when I went to Al-Anon, my husband stopped drinking. Cause and effect? Who knows. He also was to the point where drinking made him ill. But I also think that when I stopped focusing on the drinking, I was able to reconnect with the husband I loved and we're closer now than we've ever been. All the best! Dorothy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Wow...I first want to say I'm sorry you are so in the dark. I understand what you are going through. I'm just not in a much better place to be giving advice. Your story sounds a good bit like mine. The members here on this group are so good to answer questions and lift ones spirits. Dorthy since I am a good deal in the same boat I just want to ask. Do you think your husband and you are closer today because he did quit drinking or that you would be in the same place without his stopping the drinking? Everyone Happy Thanksgiving & God Bless. MiksMom --------------------------------- Access over 1 million songs - Yahoo! Music Unlimited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 MiksMom asked, Dorthy since I am a good deal in the same boat I just want to ask. Do you think your husband and you are closer today because he did quit drinking or that you would be in the same place without his stopping the drinking? -------------- Wow, you do ask the tough questions, don't you??? That's a real thought provoker! First, I think there are two basic reasons stopped drinking. One is that he's a smart guy and realized drinking was compromising his health in a big way and at an early age. While we believe his cirrhosis had another cause that the doctors refuse to investigate, no one with a compromised liver can drink; he " got that " . The second is that when I stopped nagging him, it took a good deal of the pressure off. Second, perhaps our relationship would not be " as good " today, but I think it would still be better if he were still drinking. Our relationship started to improve when I stopped nagging. I discovered that I had marginalized him. I'd made him my " problem " instead of my husband. I treated him like a chore, rather than a person, and I wasn't listening to things he desperately needed to tell me. I was in Al Anon for several months before he stopped drinking and, of course, for several months after he stopped I held my breath afraid he'd start again. All that time I tried to tend to my own knitting (understand and work on my own obsessions and defects of character) and let him tend to his. Letting go of an obsession is never easy, and I really credit Al Anon with helping me get my own house in order. Even before I went to Al Anon I'd developed Dorothy's Theory of Human Happiness and Al Anon simply reinforced it. Here it is for what it's worth: Most of us spend so much time worrying about other people's problems and other things we cannot control. This takes up all our effort so we have little time to focus on what we CAN control -- ourselves. Whether you say the Serenity Prayer, or remember Jesus' remark about the mote in your neighbor's eye vs. the beam in your own, or you follow another philosophy, I think the message is the same: We would be happier if we focused on our own business and left others to focus on theirs. I finally realized that the rest of the world would ABSOLUTELY NOT be better off if they let me run their lives! Thus endeth the lesson. Cheers! Dorothy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 I was a care giver to my wife before she passed away one year ago last Monday. They attributed my wifes cirrhosis to alcohol but as with dorothy I think something else initiated her liver problems. She was only 28 whe she started having liver problems and 31 when she passed away. She tried several times to quit drinking but couldn't beat the disease. I wasn't aware of Al Anon then as I'm sure that would have been an avenue for me. I'm sure my constant bickering and nagging and trying to control her drinking didn't in any way help her cope with it. But at the same time I don't think taking a back seat to it helps either. I'm sorry to hear your husbands is headed down that path. I pray he wakes up or sees the light and wants to quit. And I pray for you to be strong. MaC gsaunders5@... wrote: My husband is 43. I don't have a clue about his stools or urine. He was taking Lactalose in the morning but, now more often. He recently had blood work but, I don't have any numbers on that. He basically lets me know what he wants me to know. I have been the one to care for him and would be the one caring for him with a transplant. I'm really in the dark for what I am in store for. I don't believe he is drinking at this time, but I don't know. Are you the one with liver disease or someone you care for? - --------------------------------- Cheap Talk? Check out Yahoo! Messenger's low PC-to-Phone call rates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 I am sorry to hear of the loss of your wife. I have been to Alanon and I didn't care for it. All of the people I met there were telling stories of living and coping with an alcoholic. I struggle because I don't want to figure out how to live with one. I know I will have to do something. Thank you for your kind and caring words. ---- MaC wrote: > I was a care giver to my wife before she passed away one year ago last Monday. > They attributed my wifes cirrhosis to alcohol but as with dorothy I think something else initiated her liver problems. She was only 28 whe she started having liver problems and 31 when she passed away. She tried several times to quit drinking but couldn't beat the disease. I wasn't aware of Al Anon then as I'm sure that would have been an avenue for me. I'm sure my constant bickering and nagging and trying to control her drinking didn't in any way help her cope with it. But at the same time I don't think taking a back seat to it helps either. > > I'm sorry to hear your husbands is headed down that path. I pray he wakes up or sees the light and wants to quit. And I pray for you to be strong. > > MaC > > gsaunders5@... wrote: My husband is 43. I don't have a clue about his stools or urine. He was taking Lactalose in the morning but, now more often. He recently had blood work but, I don't have any numbers on that. He basically lets me know what he wants me to know. I have been the one to care for him and would be the one caring for him with a transplant. I'm really in the dark for what I am in store for. I don't believe he is drinking at this time, but I don't know. > Are you the one with liver disease or someone you care for? > > - > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Cheap Talk? Check out Yahoo! Messenger's low PC-to-Phone call rates. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 I am so glad to have someone that understands. There is no one that knows and understands. I want my husband to be better and I am so angry that he is sick and has not been committed to helping himself live. I feel like everyone looks to me to take care of him and that my life doesn't really mean anything. It is so emotionally draining and I feel a responsibility to keep him alive. I try to read about the disease but, there is no comparison to first hand information from those who live it. Thanks for the ear. ---- Leigh Schwendeman wrote: > Wow...I first want to say I'm sorry you are so in the dark. I understand what you are going through. I'm just not in a much better place to be giving advice. Your story sounds a good bit like mine. The members here on this group are so good to answer questions and lift ones spirits. > > Dorthy since I am a good deal in the same boat I just want to ask. Do you think your husband and you are closer today because he did quit drinking or that you would be in the same place without his stopping the drinking? > > Everyone Happy Thanksgiving & God Bless. > MiksMom > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Access over 1 million songs - Yahoo! Music Unlimited. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.