Re: A Moment in Time

[Guest guest]

Dennis, thank you for sharing your Moment with us . . .

Dorothy

[Guest guest]

Hi

My name is Priyanka and am from India

I lost my mum to liver cirhosis about a year ago

Its strange but I still feel she is around me every

single day

I have found a lot of support and strength from this

group and the many people who do post and share

I truly admire your philosophy and approach to life

Thank you for sharing this moment with us.....its

special

I do believe that you should write

My thoughts and prayers with you and Kjestern - you

both are so special!!

--- kip4164 wrote:

>

> I think that all of us need to seize the moment and

> enjoy it when we

> can, if only because so many of our moments are

> stressful or simply

> unpleasant. I got home this evening from my office

> around 6:30 and

> unpacked my car...briefcase, coffee mug,

> lunch...well, it's not quite

> a lunch box, but more of a lunch bag....

>

> Kjestern has been making " wraps " for me to eat at

> lunch...they are

> really salads with several kinds of lettuce, beans,

> nuts, some sort

> of " meat " (right now it's rare roast beef, a few

> weeks ago it was raw

> salmon) and whatever else she finds in the

> refrigerator to throw in.

> She is a marvellous, wonderfully imaginative " cook. "

>

>

> But after I got home and gave " treats " to both cats

> and changed my

> clothes (in Florida, the corporate suit quickly

> disappears for

> shorts, tee shirt and bare feet, thank you very

> much!), Kjersten and

> I sat and talked about our day.

>

> Her day is a bit limited. Although she spent most

> of the day in bed,

> she did put some things in the dishwasher and talked

> to a good friend

> in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. When I got home, she was

> lying on the sofa,

> which is usually an indication that she feels

> " better. "

>

> I told her about my day...which, in it's own way is

> pretty boring,

> but she does me the favor of listening to my stories

> as if they are

> wonderful news from a distant planet. After a

> while, we stopped

> talking. There were several birds outside

> singing...and we listened

> to them.

>

> I said, " It was nice of God to give us a world with

> music. " And she

> smiled (she is also an accomplished...though she

> would not claim the

> title..musician) and said, " Yes, it was kindness

> that made the world

> like this. "

>

> It is a moment frozen in time. The sun setting in

> the West, the moon

> rising in the East, the birds chirpping, a cat at my

> feet, Kjestern

> beside me...it is a moment to seize, to remember for

> all time.

>

> I know that so many of you (and I do think of

> Dorothy and her

> who seem to be a few steps behind us) who have so

> very many problems

> and concerns....we have to do what we can now and in

> the futue...we

> have to remind ourselves that we always do the best

> we can...we

> always do the best we can...we always try to help

> our spouse, our

> friend....we never really knowingly do harm to

> another person.

>

> We cannot beat ourselves up with the old " coulda,

> shoulda, woulda "

> version of life. We deal with reality minute by

> minute and we have

> to console ourselves with the simple reality that we

> did as best as

> we could do at the time.

>

> Maybe, looking back, we could have done things

> differently...but we

> don't have that luxury in real life. We have to

> react as best we

> can...and we do. We always look back and wish we

> could rewrite

> history. But we cannot. And, in truth, tomorrow

> will be like

> today...we will do the best we can, we will make the

> best decisions

> we can and we will pray that things happen the way

> we want them to.

>

> But tonight, for a brief, shining moment, Kjersten

> and I was chatting

> about our day, the birds were singing and the cats

> were sleeping at

> our feet. Neither of us knows what tomorrow will

> bring, but we

> enjoyed a moment tonight.

>

> Forgive, forget, enjoy....I know there will not be

> many more moments

> like this. Perhaps Kjersten will beat all the odds

> (she has so far).

> Perhaps she will even be alive a year or two or even

> five from now.

> Perhaps. Her doctors say that people with her

> symptoms are usually

> dead within six to nine months. And he said that

> last month.

>

> I was at a cousin's wedding last month, at the

> Shades of Green resort

> at Disney in Orlando...there was an elderly couple

> (think GRANT WOOD)

> who got up to dance. Actually, she dragged him on

> to the dance floor

> and he danced as well as one would expect a wooden

> stick to dance.

>

> As I watched them, tears came to my eyes, because I

> realized that

> Kjersten and I would never be there...we would never

> be the 80+ year

> old couple dancing at someone's wedding...and that

> is really what I

> expected....this was the last marriage for both of

> us...I know that

> first marriages have their own wonder, but when love

> comes the second

> time around...when it truly comes the second time

> around...it is so

> enormously wonderful...so breathtaking....neither of

> us expected it

> nor were we looking for it....that makes it very

> special.

>

> Take the moment with your loved one...or simply take

> it by

> yourself...enjoy the birds in the trees, watch the

> sunset..or the

> sunrise...go out back and stare at the stars in the

> sky. CONNECT!

>

> Best to all,

>

> Dennis

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your kind comments. I am sorry about your mother, but I do

understand your feelings about her still being with you. Death does not end a

relationship; it continues for the rest of your life and, perhaps, beyond.

My father died a little over two years ago and yet, he not only continues to

influence my life, but I find myself thinking " What would Dad do in this

situation? " He continues to be a part of my life and, as I found out this fall

and winter when my middle son, Ben, lived with me for a few months, he continues

to influence his grandchildren as well.

And I, too, find strength and support from this group. I know all the wisdom

about " doing things for yourself " when you are a caregiver, but the truth is

that many of the things we once enjoyed are impossible for Kjersten now...and I

would rather watch her sleep peacefully than go to a play in New York (which we

used to do).

There will be theater in the future that I can see...the places we used to visit

will still be there....the world with all its promise and problems will still be

here when she is gone...when I am gone...when you and all of us are gone. I

seize the moment when the bird sings, the cat purrs, Kjersten sleeps beside

me...when she calls me at my office, knowing that I will be at lunch, and leaves

a message that says simply, " I love you. "

Those are all truly moments to hold in your heart.

Please feel free to e-mail me directly at dhtaylor4@...

Take care...peace

Dennis

Re: A Moment in Time

Hi

My name is Priyanka and am from India

I lost my mum to liver cirhosis about a year ago

Its strange but I still feel she is around me every

single day

I have found a lot of support and strength from this

group and the many people who do post and share

I truly admire your philosophy and approach to life

Thank you for sharing this moment with us.....its

special

I do believe that you should write

My thoughts and prayers with you and Kjestern - you

both are so special!!

--- kip4164 wrote:

>

> I think that all of us need to seize the moment and

> enjoy it when we

> can, if only because so many of our moments are

> stressful or simply

> unpleasant. I got home this evening from my office

> around 6:30 and

> unpacked my car...briefcase, coffee mug,

> lunch...well, it's not quite

> a lunch box, but more of a lunch bag....

>

> Kjestern has been making " wraps " for me to eat at

> lunch...they are

> really salads with several kinds of lettuce, beans,

> nuts, some sort

> of " meat " (right now it's rare roast beef, a few

> weeks ago it was raw

> salmon) and whatever else she finds in the

> refrigerator to throw in.

> She is a marvellous, wonderfully imaginative " cook. "

>

>

> But after I got home and gave " treats " to both cats

> and changed my

> clothes (in Florida, the corporate suit quickly

> disappears for

> shorts, tee shirt and bare feet, thank you very

> much!), Kjersten and

> I sat and talked about our day.

>

> Her day is a bit limited. Although she spent most

> of the day in bed,

> she did put some things in the dishwasher and talked

> to a good friend

> in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. When I got home, she was

> lying on the sofa,

> which is usually an indication that she feels

> " better. "

>

> I told her about my day...which, in it's own way is

> pretty boring,

> but she does me the favor of listening to my stories

> as if they are

> wonderful news from a distant planet. After a

> while, we stopped

> talking. There were several birds outside

> singing...and we listened

> to them.

>

> I said, " It was nice of God to give us a world with

> music. " And she

> smiled (she is also an accomplished...though she

> would not claim the

> title..musician) and said, " Yes, it was kindness

> that made the world

> like this. "

>

> It is a moment frozen in time. The sun setting in

> the West, the moon

> rising in the East, the birds chirpping, a cat at my

> feet, Kjestern

> beside me...it is a moment to seize, to remember for

> all time.

>

> I know that so many of you (and I do think of

> Dorothy and her

> who seem to be a few steps behind us) who have so

> very many problems

> and concerns....we have to do what we can now and in

> the futue...we

> have to remind ourselves that we always do the best

> we can...we

> always do the best we can...we always try to help

> our spouse, our

> friend....we never really knowingly do harm to

> another person.

>

> We cannot beat ourselves up with the old " coulda,

> shoulda, woulda "

> version of life. We deal with reality minute by

> minute and we have

> to console ourselves with the simple reality that we

> did as best as

> we could do at the time.

>

> Maybe, looking back, we could have done things

> differently...but we

> don't have that luxury in real life. We have to

> react as best we

> can...and we do. We always look back and wish we

> could rewrite

> history. But we cannot. And, in truth, tomorrow

> will be like

> today...we will do the best we can, we will make the

> best decisions

> we can and we will pray that things happen the way

> we want them to.

>

> But tonight, for a brief, shining moment, Kjersten

> and I was chatting

> about our day, the birds were singing and the cats

> were sleeping at

> our feet. Neither of us knows what tomorrow will

> bring, but we

> enjoyed a moment tonight.

>

> Forgive, forget, enjoy....I know there will not be

> many more moments

> like this. Perhaps Kjersten will beat all the odds

> (she has so far).

> Perhaps she will even be alive a year or two or even

> five from now.

> Perhaps. Her doctors say that people with her

> symptoms are usually

> dead within six to nine months. And he said that

> last month.

>

> I was at a cousin's wedding last month, at the

> Shades of Green resort

> at Disney in Orlando...there was an elderly couple

> (think GRANT WOOD)

> who got up to dance. Actually, she dragged him on

> to the dance floor

> and he danced as well as one would expect a wooden

> stick to dance.

>

> As I watched them, tears came to my eyes, because I

> realized that

> Kjersten and I would never be there...we would never

> be the 80+ year

> old couple dancing at someone's wedding...and that

> is really what I

> expected....this was the last marriage for both of

> us...I know that

> first marriages have their own wonder, but when love

> comes the second

> time around...when it truly comes the second time

> around...it is so

> enormously wonderful...so breathtaking....neither of

> us expected it

> nor were we looking for it....that makes it very

> special.

>

> Take the moment with your loved one...or simply take

> it by

> yourself...enjoy the birds in the trees, watch the

> sunset..or the

> sunrise...go out back and stare at the stars in the

> sky. CONNECT!

>

> Best to all,

>

> Dennis

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________