Re: I'M NEW

[Guest guest]

Hello Pamela and Reagan:

Welcome to the group I joined about a month and already have benefitted from

other peoples experiences and coments and I know where your coming from!!!

When I was told five years ago that I'm diabetic I thought the world would

end!!! I had several friends who werw diabetics and I used to say that I

could not do the shots and now I do it like its not even my body I'm doing

too!!! Once again welcome and do not hesitate to ask questions and everyone

here would be willing to help!!!

I'm new

Hi Everybody,

Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was diagnosed

about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of meds and I

feel like a pharmacy every morning.

I work as a director for a center for independent living in the south. My

guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

Thanks,

Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

[Guest guest]

Hi pamela,

boy do i know hwat you mean about feeling like a pharmacy. i take seven

meds every morning including my insulin. my doctor also has me on actos and

glucotrol. my insulin is a low dosage. i also take meds for cholesterol, a

hormone pill,meds for allergies two of those and a preventative kidney

maintainance.

my worst problem is not eating stuff i'm not supposed to. i eat with two

other friends, we've always eaten together, but one of them in particular,

she has diabetes, too, she just eats whatever she wants most of the time

anyway.

i'm trying to cut back and am doing a lot better but still its hard to find

things i like that are legal. you get tired of salad after a while.

judy

At 04:12 PM 04/30/2001 -0400, you wrote:

>Hi Everybody,

>

>Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

>

>I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was diagnosed

>about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of meds and I

>feel like a pharmacy every morning.

>

>I work as a director for a center for independent living in the south. My

>guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

>

>I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

>

>Thanks,

>

>Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I was scared to death of starting the shots but now its second nature to

me. i was so relieved to find it was a breeze. i also got a new glucometer

and it works so much better than my first one that i don't mind checking my

sugar now.

judy

At 04:20 PM 04/30/2001 -0500, you wrote:

>

>Hello Pamela and Reagan:

>Welcome to the group I joined about a month and already have benefitted from

>other peoples experiences and coments and I know where your coming from!!!

>When I was told five years ago that I'm diabetic I thought the world would

>end!!! I had several friends who werw diabetics and I used to say that I

>could not do the shots and now I do it like its not even my body I'm doing

>too!!! Once again welcome and do not hesitate to ask questions and everyone

>here would be willing to help!!!

>

> I'm new

>

>

>Hi Everybody,

>

>Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

>

>I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was diagnosed

>about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of meds and I

>feel like a pharmacy every morning.

>

>I work as a director for a center for independent living in the south. My

>guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

>

>I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

>

>Thanks,

>

>Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

I can relate to the food thing. I have discovered that salsa has new

meaning. Try it as a topping for salad.

Luckily, I'm not having to do shots. But I am having to take about six

meds in the morning. Something for depression, then Glucofage, allergy

meds, a cholesterol med and so on it goes.

I also have a friend that has diabetes and she has many other health

problems. She eats whatever she wants. It is frustrating to watch.

I'm really pleased with my talking glucometer. It works very well.

Take care,

Pamela

At 09:29 PM 5/1/01 -0500, you wrote:

>Hi pamela,

>boy do i know hwat you mean about feeling like a pharmacy. i take seven

>meds every morning including my insulin. my doctor also has me on actos and

>glucotrol. my insulin is a low dosage. i also take meds for cholesterol, a

>hormone pill,meds for allergies two of those and a preventative kidney

>maintainance.

>my worst problem is not eating stuff i'm not supposed to. i eat with two

>other friends, we've always eaten together, but one of them in particular,

>she has diabetes, too, she just eats whatever she wants most of the time

>anyway.

>i'm trying to cut back and am doing a lot better but still its hard to find

>things i like that are legal. you get tired of salad after a while.

>

>judy

>

>

>At 04:12 PM 04/30/2001 -0400, you wrote:

> >Hi Everybody,

> >

> >Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

> >

> >I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was diagnosed

> >about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of meds and I

> >feel like a pharmacy every morning.

> >

> >I work as a director for a center for independent living in the south. My

> >guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

> >

> >I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

> >

> >Thanks,

> >

> >Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi Pamela, Judy and all,

First, thanks to everyone for the welcome to the list <smile>.

As I read your post Judy, I started wondering which glucose monitors everyone

uses and how well you like them. I have used the One Touch profile with the

digi-voice module for nearly 6 years. It works ok, but, I really do not enjoy

running my freshly stabbed finger across the metal blood drop device that comes

with it. I know there is a relatively new monitor from Accu-Check and I was

interested in getting some feedback from anyone using that one. I think the

monitor runs around $500, but, I'm not 100% sure about that either.

As for needles....

I have been a diabetic since 1974. At the age of 9, my doctor and Mother

finally convinced me to give my shots to myself. I really don't mind the

shots, sort of <grin>. I guess it's just been a part of my life for so long

that I am just used to it, but, there are still those days when...ouch!! man!

that hurt!

Dave

Dave and Traverse....the original MellowDog

An idle mind is...........................The best way to relax

I'm new

>

>

>Hi Everybody,

>

>Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

>

>I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was diagnosed

>about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of meds and I

>feel like a pharmacy every morning.

>

>I work as a director for a center for independent living in the south. My

>guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

>

>I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

>

>Thanks,

>

>Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello...

I am using the Accucheck unit. It is called the VoiceMate. I find it very

easy to use and it requires very little blood to get an accurate reading.

The strips you use for this unit can actually be touched, so that you can

put your finger right up to the curve in the strip. The unit beeps when it

detects the blood. There is a male voice that talks you through the whole

procedure and then reads out the results. It also remembers the last 100

readings in its memory which you can go through at any time. The system

comes with instruction on audio tape so getting up and running with it is a

snap. My insurance covered both the meter and strips...Hope this helps...

-- Regards,

-- Rick Alfaro

-- ralfaro@...

I'm new

> >

> >

> >Hi Everybody,

> >

> >Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

> >

> >I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was

diagnosed

> >about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of meds and

I

> >feel like a pharmacy every morning.

> >

> >I work as a director for a center for independent living in the south.

My

> >guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

> >

> >I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

> >

> >Thanks,

> >

> >Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I use a One Touch Profile with the Digi Voice and I didn't know you could

get one of those metal attachments to make the blood go where it's

supposed to go.

I've only had this one for about a year and a half.

My problem with the digi voice is that even at the lowest speaker volume

setting it's too loud.

I didn't have a choice about giving my own shots when I got diabetes at

fifteen.

I had to do it from the beginning.

boy it was hard to stick that needle in my skin!

but now sometimes I have to stop and think about it to make sure that I

did take a shot!

I use a Count a dose to draw my insulin.

billie

On Wed, 2 May 2001 08:59:35 -0400 " Dave Anspach "

writes:

>

> Hi Pamela, Judy and all,

> First, thanks to everyone for the welcome to the list <smile>.

>

> As I read your post Judy, I started wondering which glucose monitors

> everyone uses and how well you like them. I have used the One

> Touch profile with the digi-voice module for nearly 6 years. It

> works ok, but, I really do not enjoy running my freshly stabbed

> finger across the metal blood drop device that comes with it. I

> know there is a relatively new monitor from Accu-Check and I was

> interested in getting some feedback from anyone using that one. I

> think the monitor runs around $500, but, I'm not 100% sure about

> that either.

>

> As for needles....

> I have been a diabetic since 1974. At the age of 9, my doctor and

> Mother finally convinced me to give my shots to myself. I really

> don't mind the shots, sort of <grin>. I guess it's just been a part

> of my life for so long that I am just used to it, but, there are

> still those days when...ouch!! man! that hurt!

>

> Dave

>

> Dave and Traverse....the original MellowDog

> An idle mind is...........................The best way to relax

>

> I'm new

> >

> >

> >Hi Everybody,

> >

> >Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

> >

> >I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was

> diagnosed

> >about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of

> meds and I

> >feel like a pharmacy every morning.

> >

> >I work as a director for a center for independent living in the

> south. My

> >guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

> >

> >I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

> >

> >Thanks,

> >

> >Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hey,

I also use the Acu Check with the Voice Mate. It works great.

Pamela

At 09:28 AM 5/2/01 -0400, you wrote:

>Hello...

>

>I am using the Accucheck unit. It is called the VoiceMate. I find it very

>easy to use and it requires very little blood to get an accurate reading.

>The strips you use for this unit can actually be touched, so that you can

>put your finger right up to the curve in the strip. The unit beeps when it

>detects the blood. There is a male voice that talks you through the whole

>procedure and then reads out the results. It also remembers the last 100

>readings in its memory which you can go through at any time. The system

>comes with instruction on audio tape so getting up and running with it is a

>snap. My insurance covered both the meter and strips...Hope this helps...

>

>

>-- Regards,

>-- Rick Alfaro

>-- ralfaro@...

> I'm new

> > >

> > >

> > >Hi Everybody,

> > >

> > >Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

> > >

> > >I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was

>diagnosed

> > >about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of meds and

>I

> > >feel like a pharmacy every morning.

> > >

> > >I work as a director for a center for independent living in the south.

>My

> > >guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

> > >

> > >I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

> > >

> > >Thanks,

> > >

> > >Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

dave, i have the accu-chek voicemate and i love it. you slide your " just

stabbed " finger across the curve in the strip and there is a notch where

the drop of blood goes. ji used to hate checking my sugar levels now since

i have this new monitor i don't mind at all.

judy

At 08:59 AM 05/02/2001 -0400, you wrote:

>

>Hi Pamela, Judy and all,

>First, thanks to everyone for the welcome to the list <smile>.

>

>As I read your post Judy, I started wondering which glucose monitors

everyone uses and how well you like them. I have used the One Touch

profile with the digi-voice module for nearly 6 years. It works ok, but, I

really do not enjoy running my freshly stabbed finger across the metal

blood drop device that comes with it. I know there is a relatively new

monitor from Accu-Check and I was interested in getting some feedback from

anyone using that one. I think the monitor runs around $500, but, I'm not

100% sure about that either.

>

>As for needles....

>I have been a diabetic since 1974. At the age of 9, my doctor and Mother

finally convinced me to give my shots to myself. I really don't mind the

shots, sort of <grin>. I guess it's just been a part of my life for so

long that I am just used to it, but, there are still those days

when...ouch!! man! that hurt!

>

>Dave

>

>Dave and Traverse....the original MellowDog

>An idle mind is...........................The best way to relax

>

> I'm new

> >

> >

> >Hi Everybody,

> >

> >Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

> >

> >I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was diagnosed

> >about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of meds and I

> >feel like a pharmacy every morning.

> >

> >I work as a director for a center for independent living in the south. My

> >guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

> >

> >I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

> >

> >Thanks,

> >

> >Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy and all,

I just wanted to write a quick thank you to everyone who responded to my recent

questions about blood sugar monitors. It sure seems like the new Accu-Check

voice mate is the winner...fingers up <lol>.

Dave

Dave and Traverse....the original MellowDog

An idle mind is...........................The best way to relax

I'm new

> >

> >

> >Hi Everybody,

> >

> >Thanks Dave for the inspiration to write.

> >

> >I'm new to the group and newly diagnosed with diabetes. I was diagnosed

> >about a month ago. I'm going through the whole prescribing of meds and I

> >feel like a pharmacy every morning.

> >

> >I work as a director for a center for independent living in the south. My

> >guide dog's name is Reagan. He's from the Seeing Eye.

> >

> >I look forward to hearing from others who have been where I am.

> >

> >Thanks,

> >

> >Pamela and Reagan (Not named after the President)

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hello Jen and welcome to the group answers so far are hard to come by but we are working on ways to look into that, but support you will find here. We all understand what you are going through and will do what we can to help. Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on 3Date: Tue, 22 Dec 2009 04:53:56 -0000To: <Soundsensitivity >Subject: I'M NEW Not sure how this support group works. I found it on Facebook, then someone suggested coming here.I have no idea what this " condition " is. I just recently became aware of it, but it make so much sense to me. My " triggers " are intense and I go into a rage before I even realize what is happening.I am so beyond tired of being told I have anger issues! I have went through anger management classes; done several anxiety/panic attack programs and read almost every positive thinking - change your thoughts books, but all they did was make me feel worse because I can't ....or don't know how....to stop this.I can be in the best positive mood, enjoying life, enjoying God's presence, enjoying my friends and family, and then I hear someone rustling of a newspaper or plastic bag (one of the many triggers); I then " inwardly " go insane and want to shove a ice pick in my ears just to stop the noise. I feel a rage rush through my body and/or go into panic mode. It is a nightmare! Then feeling stupid afterwards doesn't help either cause I start crying for " making a scene. " So, I hope I can find some kind of answers and support. ThanksJen

[Guest guest]

Welcome Jen

You found the right place to be able to express how you feel and have

people understand it. Wish we had answers for a cure, but right now we

don't.

There are a lot of fantastic people on here.

Vicki

Hello Jen and welcome to the group answers so far are hard to come by

> but we are working on ways to look into that, but support you will find

> here. We all understand what you are going through and will do what we can

> to help.

>

>

> Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on 3

>

> I'M NEW

>

> Not sure how this support group works. I found it on Facebook, then

> someone suggested coming here.

>

> I have no idea what this " condition " is. I just recently became aware of

> it, but it make so much sense to me. My " triggers " are intense and I go

> into a rage before I even realize what is happening.

>

> I am so beyond tired of being told I have anger issues! I have went

> through anger management classes; done several anxiety/panic attack

> programs and read almost every positive thinking - change your thoughts

> books, but all they did was make me feel worse because I can't ....or

> don't know how....to stop this.

>

> I can be in the best positive mood, enjoying life, enjoying God's

> presence, enjoying my friends and family, and then I hear someone rustling

> of a newspaper or plastic bag (one of the many triggers); I then

> " inwardly " go insane and want to shove a ice pick in my ears just to stop

> the noise. I feel a rage rush through my body and/or go into panic mode.

> It is a nightmare! Then feeling stupid afterwards doesn't help either

> cause I start crying for " making a scene. "

>

> So, I hope I can find some kind of answers and support. Thanks

>

> Jen

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Jen. I still have my triggers and issues, but at least when I found this

site I realized that I wasn't insane. Everyone here experiences the same things

to different degrees but as more and more people start talking about it we're

very hopeful that more research will be done into finding a " cure " .

>

> Not sure how this support group works. I found it on Facebook, then someone

suggested coming here.

>

> I have no idea what this " condition " is. I just recently became aware of it,

but it make so much sense to me. My " triggers " are intense and I go into a rage

before I even realize what is happening.

>

> I am so beyond tired of being told I have anger issues! I have went through

anger management classes; done several anxiety/panic attack programs and read

almost every positive thinking - change your thoughts books, but all they did

was make me feel worse because I can't ....or don't know how....to stop this.

>

> I can be in the best positive mood, enjoying life, enjoying God's presence,

enjoying my friends and family, and then I hear someone rustling of a newspaper

or plastic bag (one of the many triggers); I then " inwardly " go insane and want

to shove a ice pick in my ears just to stop the noise. I feel a rage rush

through my body and/or go into panic mode. It is a nightmare! Then feeling

stupid afterwards doesn't help either cause I start crying for " making a scene. "

>

> So, I hope I can find some kind of answers and support. Thanks

>

> Jen

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the welcome. I am having a major hard time now because my husband is going through chemo at the cancer center. I feel so guilty, because while these patients are having the fight of their lives; I am going insane from all the coughing, clearing of throats, and the pumps on some of these machines. I just cry. Of course the nurses think I am crying for my husband (which I am) but they have no idea the pain and anxiety going on in my head and body. Stress of it all is making my chest hurt so bad, feels like a heart attack. I just want it all to stop! And if one more person tells me, "Oh..don't cry, you need to stay positive. We need happy happy here. It helps the patients." I think I am going to go out of my mind!

Any suggestions on what I can do to help ease the reactions to these sounds? I am sure the stress is making the triggers even worse. I just need to "get a grip" for my husband's sake. I'll try anything. Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Jen: of course talk with your husband and set up some guidelines that you can

both feel better about. (it will not be good for him to have you so miserable in

any case, despite cancer, he still cares for your happiness, too, no doubt).

Set it up so that you have a secret signal. Like a little wink or you take his

hand and squeeze his thumb or something. That is a signal, I need a break, and

go out of the space for a certain time, say, 10 or 15 mins and bring along your

iPod and go out and plug it into your ears (get the earphones that go into the

canals, there are adapters) and sit down and close your eyes and take deep

breaths and consciously relax your body including your arms and legs, chest,

shoulders, face, and so on.

This will help you to gather your forces to endure and to be able to be a help

to your spouse and put on a better outlook. KNowing that you have an 'escape'

route really helps!

I will think of you, Jen, and send you good wishes and strength to bear this

situation and to really be there for both your husband and yourself, these two

goals are not contrary at all, they can both happen.

Take care, try this and let us know how it goes.

Dr. Marsha

>

> Thank you for the welcome. I am having a major hard time now because my

husband is going through chemo at the cancer center.  I feel so guilty, because

while these patients are having the fight of their lives; I am going insane from

all the coughing, clearing of throats, and the pumps on some of these machines.

I just cry. Of course the nurses think I am crying for my husband (which I am)

but they have no idea the pain and anxiety going on in my head and body. Stress

of it all is making my chest hurt so bad, feels like a heart attack. I just want

it all to stop! And if one more person tells me, " Oh..don't cry, you need to

stay positive. We need happy happy here. It helps the patients. "   I think I am

going to go out of my mind!

>  

> Any suggestions on what I can do to help ease the reactions to these sounds? I

am sure the stress is making the triggers even worse. I just need to " get a

grip " for my husband's sake. I'll try anything. Thanks.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,I so sorry to hear what you are going through. I cant give you advice because I don't know what works 100% but I can share with you my story in the hopes you will be able to take some of the things I did and apply them to your life. I know exactly what you are going through right now so im here fore you   I will try and keep the below related to 4s as much as possible.

I am 23 years old and have been helping both my mother and father face cancer this year, my father for the third time, my mother for the first. Each and every time its rough on them and rough on the ones that care for them and especially rough on people with 4s, as a hospitable has a huge amount of trigger noises and the treatment rooms are no better. Over the time I have been helping my parents deal with cancer I have learned some really important things that have helped me and my family get through. Communication is they key and understanding your own limits is incredibly important, as Dr J mentioned having time to your self to just get away, weather it be because of the 4s or because you need to recharge your own batteries is critical. My mother and I have a very open and understanding relationship and I am lucky in this sense, but it took a long while talking about 4s to help her understand what I am going through. I am glad that we did talk so openly because it meant that she understood when I needed to leave a certain situation or if I seemed annoyed for no particular reason, she would then listen to the noises around her and understand, it was not her or the situation that she was going through that was causing my anger, but the noises of the machines, the coughing or the slurping of the people next to us. The guilt is tremendous. I know that the weight both my parents bore going through cancer treatment was extremely high as well, but I also know that if I had not talked about my feelings, or what I was going through to either them or my extremely supportive girlfriend, im really not sure how I would have come out of this. The guilt gets bigger and bigger and it was at this point that I realized I needed to do something or it would ruin me as someone they could lean on for support.

I made two decisions. Firstly I told myself that although this condition was torture nothing was going to keep me from being as supportive and positive as I could be, even if I found myself in a room full of triggers I would force them to not overcome me. That no matter what was happening around me I would come out of this condition on top. Secondly I talked to my parents and told them that I understood they were going through an incredibly rough time and that I was here to support them no matter what, I expressed my struggle with 4s but assured them that no matter what, I would not let this condition in anyway restrict my ability to be there for them. That when they needed me most, I would be by their side. I talked further with them asking them to understand that there will be times when I will need to be alone or I will need to leave, but I would only indulge in that luxury if I had the option and if I knew they would be ok for the times I was not there ( I made a personal decision to the situations in which I felt I could leave and I stuck by them.)

On many occasions I was placed in situations that were not at all comfortable in relation to 4s, and these were times I could not leave. It helped setting up my own set of rules and sticking to them, in this sense I felt that I had more control. The inner turmoil caused by such a struggle is incredibly taxing but it helped to know that I was doing this for my parents, that by me being strong I could give them strength.   At first I was concerned that talking with them about my 4s while they were undergoing treatment would cause even further burden, and im sure that it did, but when they saw me standing there supporting them even in a room full of triggers I think that meant even more to them than if they had not known. They knew the pain that I was in , but seeing that I chose to stay and fight along with them I beleive gave them more resolve not to give up.

I took tools into this fight to help me through, an Ipod with noise isolation in ear earphones. Here is a link Please click here These earphones do the job quite well, sometimes they are a little bass heavy but the bass helps me block out a lot of noise so that is ok. I took a new resolve in strength of will ( which I talked about above, making the promise to myself and my parents helped a lot) I learned to understand my limits and when the opportunities came around where I could let go of some of my anger, I took it. I tried to keep a healthy diet (although this was hard and I lived off hospitable food and bad coffee for a long time) and most importantly, I took a smile. I read a long time ago that if you wear a smile long enough you start to feel better, and it does work, even if it was only a small bit I was willing to take anything I could get.

When I returned home after the long days I would use brainwave entertainment, listen to my favorite music, cry and talk with my girlfriend and brother and on many occasions drink. ( I never drank to the point where I couldn't be useful if I needed to get somewhere quick but I found it took the edge off) Lastly I forced myself to focus on work and my study which helped to distract me. I would spend hours on the internet searching for information, stories of hope that I could share.

I have done two other things which have helped me get through all of this, but in the long run I am sure that I have done more damage to myself than good but presently I think its worth it so I will share it anyway.  I created another space inside my mind where I would put all of the negative emotions, the stress , the fear and pain. I find myself numb a lot of the time, its very hard to cry now and I feel considerable drained and have moments of overwhelming sadness but doing what I did allowed me to focus on what was important without my emotions controlling me. I buried my 4s emotions in this place as well and it has helped. Secondly I forced myself to push through some unbearable situations at the cost of my sanity on some occasions. Nevertheless some good came out of doing this, one I was able to put on a brave face and hide my emotions and two I have found a tremendous well of strength to draw upon when I need it. I never through I would have to face situations like this year has presented, unfortunately my parents cancer is only a part of the negative events that have happened this year, but the resolve I made to face it no matter what my 4s was doing to me granted me the will power and strength to fight against my 4s like I have never been able to before and further the ability to help the ones I love and care for most. 

I cant tell you what to expect because we are different people but hopefully this will give you some insight to what may come. The Cancer treatment is a long one, and the battle does not stop once the op, chemo and radio have finished, it will continue emotionally for a very long time and the drugs stay in the system too for months. The guilt I felt was tremendous but when I found a way to express myself it became bearable. The sounds that I encountered were some of the worst I have ever had to deal with and the stress that accompanies all of this made my tolerance to trigger events very fragile indeed, even if my strength of will became stronger to overcome it, I found new triggers sprouting up all over the place. The lack of sleep and emotional turmoil also had an effect on my 4s  and I developed a new symptom in which I would hear a trigger noise and it would echo in my mind for minutes after the actually sound had stopped. Before this year I could always recall the sounds in my mind but this echo took on a new form, its effect was as if someone was crunching inside my head (for example). I had a panic attack and had to quit my job. Depression is quite common as well, the promise to fight I made to myself has helped me not dip into that dark well for long, but others around me have quite deeply.

I will try and bring all of this into one concise (ish) paragraph. Take tools with you to mask offending trigger noises and where ever possible use them. Understand your own limits which is extremely important because you cant support anyone else if you are not able to support yourself. Try and get sleep and keep up a good diet. Make your husband and yourself promises and no matter what, stick by them. Wherever possible find a way to relieve your tension ( and the tension of your partner) through stories of hope ( but dont over do it) jokes, conversations that are not about cancer or 4s and recall old memories which make you both smile etc. Find a supportive friend, or family member ( or use us here ) to talk to and relieve the wight off your shoulders. And I know you are not going to like reading this but, try to remain positive and put on a smile even when facing all of your trigger events. It makes a huge difference to the person undergoing the treatment. And where possible and appropriate let your partner know how you are feeling, positive ready to fight, or scared sad and overwhelmed. I have been told that I should have shown more of what I was feeling rather then putting on a brave and strong face for everyone else, but inside I knew that doing so, I would fall apart and I was terrified that my 4s would overcome me. I guess its a personal choice.

I know that this email is long and I am sorry if this is all over the place, this has been very hard for me to write as I am still dealing with all of this and its very strong emotionally, but I want you to know that you do have the strength to deal with this and with anything else that wants to rear its ugly head along with the cancer treatment. On many occasions it will feel like its all too much, and it probably is, but hang in there for your husbands sake and your own. Be positive for your husband but also for your own sake, there will be a cure for 4s one day and I promise you I will do what ever I can to bring that day closer, for you for me and for everybody else here. For me this was not something that I could just get over, nor was there anything that I could really do to make things better, other then what I mentioned above, but being honest and open was the key stone for me. Push through it, no matter what and when all of this is over you will have a connection with your husband and your self that will serve you a thousand fold for years to come.

I believe in you, in your strength to be there for your husband and for yourself. You have my deepest sympathy and my greatest hopes on his full recover. Im truly sorry that I can not offer you something to make this time easier for you or your 4s, but if I can help you in anyway please let me know. I'm here for you if you need it.

Warmest Regards 

 

Thank you for the welcome. I am having a major hard time now because my husband is going through chemo at the cancer center.  I feel so guilty, because while these patients are having the fight of their lives; I am going insane from all the coughing, clearing of throats, and the pumps on some of these machines. I just cry. Of course the nurses think I am crying for my husband (which I am) but they have no idea the pain and anxiety going on in my head and body. Stress of it all is making my chest hurt so bad, feels like a heart attack. I just want it all to stop! And if one more person tells me, " Oh..don't cry, you need to stay positive. We need happy happy here. It helps the patients. "   I think I am going to go out of my mind!

 

Any suggestions on what I can do to help ease the reactions to these sounds? I am sure the stress is making the triggers even worse. I just need to " get a grip " for my husband's sake. I'll try anything. Thanks.