RE: Thank you!

[Guest guest]

Aveesia,

We understand! That's one of the best things about this friends list. We

know what you are experiencing, what you will experiencing, and how

society reacts to you/us.

My dad could eat everything in the bakery and loose 5 pounds from

chewing. He didn't understand weight. All of his mother's family was

pencil thin, and most of his dad's family was thin. Same with my mom's

side. But, my mom had the weight problem, and all four of us boys

inherited that. I was over 250 in the 7th grade.

We know it because we've lived it. I'm so glad that you are here with

us, and that you have the chance to prolong your life!!!!

Jim

Thank you!

I guess it was actually the act of writing down all those things and

your wonderful support and insight that helped so very much. Really,

I can't imagine living a day longer this way when I HAVE A CHOICE. I

was pretty healthy when I started this journey and today my joints

can hardly take me the full length of the house. My health is

deteriorating... how can I not take this chance? Thank you all so

very much. Coming from a family of thin people, I just needed a

reality check, needed to confirm with someone who is coming at this

from MY perspective. I love my family BUT they don't understand why I

just can't " stop eating and exercise more! " I'm making the call

tomorrow. You will be the first to know the date! Everyone: Thank you

for taking the time to help...While I'm still scared, I feel the

beginning of a calm resolve. Just hold my hand once in a while, and

God Bless all of you! aveesia

[Guest guest]

Re: My close friend who did not/could not/would not understand about OCD ...

Thank you to all who responded to my frustrations! Your ideas have been

helpful. It is sad to think about, but it seems that the onset of OCD brings a

grief

not only due to the loss of the " happy " child and the appearance of the OCD -

which causes suffering in the child and the family - but also this onset of

OCD brings grief for the loss of some relationships outside the family, or, at

minimum, the loss of the openness and sharing we once knew in those

relationships. It is pretty clear that my friend is resisting my efforts to

educate her,

and she prefers to simply think her own theories about my children and about

my parenting. Knowing I no longer have support from her grieves me deeply, but

I think I will be able to maintain a more superficial friendship with her,

for the sake of our children's relationships. I can do as some of you suggested,

and just avoid the topic of OCD. I am going to concentrate on other sources

of support for those issues, like this group, and my faith. Unfortunately, no

one in my family is a source of support. I have not even told most of them, as

they are pretty unsupportive people, in general.

How I wish there was something really " big " I could do to change the image of

mental illness (particularly OCD) in the public eye! I am so tired of seeing

the word " Prozac " used as if it were a synonym for " heroin " or " getting high "

and I am so sad to see that most of the world (like ME, before my kids were

diagnosed) does not have the tiniest idea what mental illnesses are really like,

or how REAL they are. The idea that most bothers me is when people seem to

think that kids or adults with OCD or other mental/emotional problems should be

able to CHOOSE some mental discipline that would stop all the problems. If

only!

in VA (Girls ages 15 and 9 with OCD, son " apparently " unaffected)

[Guest guest]

Dear

You expressed the frustration of dealing with the public's perception of

mental illness very well. I too have lost a good (?) friend because of my

daughter's problems - she avoids us because her daughter is 'perfect' and

obviously mine suffers from bad parenting. But her son seems to be developing

severe

tics (he's seven) and I waiting for her to come crawling back.

I think all of us with children affected by any kind of neurological

disorder are fed up with the attitude that we should just be better parents, or

take our kids to the grocery store, and they would be fine. My daughter has OCD,

ADHD and TS and I never mention the ADHD to anyone that I don't know very,

very well. The standard response is still that it is an overdiagosed disorder

and that stimulants are terrible drugs. Most people still say to me " I would

never put my child on drugs. " I don't even respond anymore.

The bright side is that attitudes are slowly changing, and by the time

our children are adults the world will be a different place. In our experience,

children have no problem with their peers taking drugs for their neurological

disorders - it's just their parents that have a knee-jerk negative reaction.

Best wishes for your daughters' speedy recovery,

in NV

[Guest guest]

> heard of it).  She seems extremely intelligent and caring, and has

> the best reputation of anyone in our area.  In fact I believe she is

> the only specifically trained child psychologist in private

> practice.  So maybe she will research and learn enough to help my

> child.  I hate to interrupt a relationship between them that seems so

> promising so quickly!  Have any of you experienced working with a

> therapist new to these ideas who was able to learn and use them?  I

> have requested referral info from OCF when I joined, and hope to

> receive this soon.

>

I would be cautiously optimistic. If your daughter is willing, there

is a lot of CBT that you can do, as a parent, on your own. In our

situation, it took a long time to find a therapist and get an

appointment. (and even at that, the person is 1.5 hours away, one

way). By the time we actually go my son (who is 7) in to see him, he

was already 100% better through the things we did at home.

In fact, he really cracked the therapist up by explaining to *him* how

the OCD was a trickster in his brain and how he didn't need to listen

to it. (The therapist told us that my son was definitely the first 7

year old to ever lecture him on the effects of dopamine!).

The therapist is still very helpful because there are things that my

son prefers to talk to someone outside of the family about, and he

tends to " believe " the therapist a bit more about certain things. But,

as long as your daughters psychologist is willing to learn (and not

undermine what you are doing) I would guess it could work.

Jeanne