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Re: Obsession or tick

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----- Original Message -----

> My 4 yod has OCD, SID and APD. Lately she has been ob with asking if

> she has to say excuse me when she burps or passes gas.

*****This is a common OCD reassurance-seeking ritual.

> Then she

> started saying excuse me everytime, it would be a soft " excuse me "

> and the a loud " excuse me " . The same everytime. I wandered if it

> could be a tick, I think she might have had others in the past. The

> neuro. said she could have ticks, however she has not been diagnosed

> with Tur. because she doesn't seem to have a motor tick.

*****Another compulsion I would say. " The same everytime " is the big

tipoff. See if she can reverse the loud and soft " excuse me's " or otherwise

mess this up--if she resists or doing this causes her upset/anxiety, it's a

sure bet it's a compulsion. To help her extinguish this compulsion, you

could encourage her to belch really loudly and then say " Don't excuse me " or

some other silly thing. The idea is to " mess it up " , go against what OCD is

telling her she has to do.

Kathy R. in Indiana

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We are trying to " normalize " the OCD and the worry thoughts that she

has. Now when she starts the the worry thoughts. I will say

remember to try to keep the worry thoughts to yourself. She usually

finishes the sentence before I do.

A quick question... Should we not let them share their worrry's and

thoughts with us?? Doesn't that make them think we aren't interested in

helping or hearing what they are concerned about or does it make their

thoughts more seemingly valid to share them?? I never really thought about

should or should not keep thoughts to themselves and whether it helps or

hinders. Hope this make sense..lol..

Melony

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Melony, a big part of CBT for OCD is to relable the obsessional worries

and thoughts as OCD ( and so not valid or worth time and attention,certainly

not

to the degree that OCD insists on) vs. true concerns the child has. If you

remember that the child herself does not want to be having these repeating

obsessive worries, it's easier to see the benefit in separating out

disordered anxiety thoughts from a child's own worries and concerns. OCD

worries are repetitive, cause anxiety and upset, and become stronger/more

frequent with repeated reassurance/explanations. Non-OCD concerns are not

repeating (may come up a few times but not 20X/day for months), and are

reduced/solved with reassurance and explanations.

Then comes the ERP part, which actually reduces and eliminates the obsessive

worry: Once a thought is relabeled as OCD, it can be targeted for

extinction. You can begin responding to the identified OCD question by

responding along the lines " Remember, we've talked about that? It's OCD

that is so concerned about _______, not you. We want to make OCD let go of

that worry and not bother you so much about it, so I won't give OCD the

" right " answer again. " Eventually you can just remind, " Hey, that's an OCD

question... " . Many of us have set up reward charts etc. for bossing back

saying the OCD worry or asking an OCD question, less and less often until

the compulsion is extinguished which can work well.

We parents are set up by OCD, of course we want to reassure and support

our children, share their burdens, and answer their questions. But OCD

hijacks this very normal and loving part of parenting and turns it into one

of the ugliest IMO aspects of the disorder, where we are " duped " into

helping

strengthen OCD's stranglehold on our child by participating in its circular

rituals.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> We are trying to " normalize " the OCD and the worry thoughts that she

> has. Now when she starts the the worry thoughts. I will say

> remember to try to keep the worry thoughts to yourself. She usually

> finishes the sentence before I do.

>

>

>

> A quick question... Should we not let them share their worrry's and

> thoughts with us?? Doesn't that make them think we aren't interested in

> helping or hearing what they are concerned about or does it make their

> thoughts more seemingly valid to share them?? I never really thought about

> should or should not keep thoughts to themselves and whether it helps or

> hinders. Hope this make sense..lol..

> Melony

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