Re: Don't know what to do...

[Guest guest]

Let me just add...

We KNOW that was a lot of stimulation over the weekend, but we'd

still like to have some semblance of life outside the Dx...

[Guest guest]

Sigh and hugs to you. I would suggest if your son's symptoms continue at

this level with new issues every day after the holiday, that you call his

pdoc about them. I remember our bad holidays (clearly! etched in my mind)

and it was amazing the change in our daughter once the day passed. Like

flipping a switch.

But if you don't see this in your son, it's possible that one or more of his

meds are worsening his symptoms. My daughter trialed four SSRIs before we

hit on Zoloft; two of them worsened her OCD/anxiety level and one of those,

spectacularly so. Your son may also simply need more Lexapro. Also, I'm

just speculating here, is there a rebound effect with the Xanax once a dose

wears off? If so that may have something to do with his up and down

pattern.

It does seem your son is handling some things well: overnights, being in a

play, Steelers game and a movie. Who knows--and he really doesn't, he's not

being stubborn--*why* the prospect of going to the elderly couple's home as

usual was impossible this time. The kids are reacting to a very bad anxious

feeling, often they have no idea *why* and so can't explain why they are

having the feeling about going to one place but not another. OCD is not

rational or logical, you will be frustrated every time trying to make sense

of it (and only increase your own stress and anxiety levels.) The kids'

behavior is driven by one prime directive, avoid the bad anxious feeling.

My daughter for years had a similar reaction to going to her one set of

grandparents. Even all these years later she's still more anxious than

usual going there. At almost 10, five years after this started, she still

can't explain why, just that it feels bad.

You may have just bumped into your son's " limit " of number of activities and

changes in sleep etc. that he can handle gracefully. As his anxiety/OCD

improves, his limit will stretch...but even parents of " regular " kids expect

trouble, irritability, tantrums and so on when their kids have been

overstimulated or they are far out of their normal routines, sleep

schedules, etc. I remember many irritable, teary Christmas days growing up.

When my child had her OCD onset, in many ways it seemed she was knocked back

two years or so in functioning and maturity. You may want to gear back

expectations to levels of a couple of years ago.

I am so sorry your family is suffering this way this Christmas season. I

can tell you with an effective SSRI and CBT/ERP therapy, things will never

be this bad again but I know that doesn't help right now. I know it is so

hard watching your beloved child suffer so, act so out of character, and to

have Christmas so badly affected by this ugly disorder. Emotions and

expectations tend to run so high around this holiday that I think it's

nearly impossible for families to enjoy them without hearing at least a few

times from the OCD.

Please take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> Things continue to get worse...

>

> Its 3 days before Christmas and it might as well never come. DS's

> anxiety is all consuming. We removed homework, then last week we

> removed him from school, now he's too stressed to even get out of bed.

>

> He spent last Thurs. night and most of the day Friday with one

> Grandma, Fri. night with his other grandparents (we were there when

> he woke up Sat. morn), Sat. I took him to see Return of the King,

> Sunday morning he filled his role in the church Christmas program and

> got to go with a friend to his first ever Steelers game at Heinz

> field, very stressed last night, didn't finally get him to bed until

> after 11p, and now this...

>

> My wife has a very part-time job assisting an older family with some

> light housework and he (DS) knows he'd be going with her, its no

> surprise or unusual circumstance. Now, she's held captive at home

> this morning and he can't identify what makes him feel stressed or

> what would make it better. He's 11, OCD/GAD/ADHD...20mg Lexapro and

> yesterday, over a 13-hour period, it took 4 1mg doses of Xanax to get

> him through the day.

>

> Our home is figuratively on its weak and trembling last leg...

[Guest guest]

I too strongly recommend that you have the medications reevaluated.

Of course consult with your doctor, but if your son is out of school

anyway this may be a good time to ramp down on and then stop all

medications and then start again. My son can be highly symptomatic

but the worse times for us were when he suffered adverse reactions

to medications --which doctors assumed to be part of his

neurological disorder. They were not. We have had doctors --even

world experts-- increase these medications as things got worse and

worse for months only to find the terrible symptoms abating

literally days after the med was finally stopped. Make sure you have

a top psychopharmacologist here. I would find the BEST. Look, our

kids end up being stuffed with so many meds, and in OCD kids,

especially, many of the meds that abate these symptoms cause extreme

almost psychotic levels of anxiety.

Pam

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/22/2003 7:04:03 AM Pacific Standard Time,

chambybf@... writes:

He spent last Thurs. night and most of the day Friday with one

Grandma, Fri. night with his other grandparents (we were there when

he woke up Sat. morn), Sat. I took him to see Return of the King,

Sunday morning he filled his role in the church Christmas program and

got to go with a friend to his first ever Steelers game at Heinz

field, very stressed last night, didn't finally get him to bed until

after 11p, and now this

I obviously don't know your son, but this schedule would probably end up

sending my daughter to the hospital. One sleepover is enough to set her off for

a

full week. Spending time away from us makes her nearly fall apart with

anxiety, even when it's with her grandparents whom she loves madly. Something

about

not having me near her makes her feel unsafe, I guess. Performing in a program

and then going to a " first-ever " event would also be too much for her. We have

finally learned that any deviation from the same old boring routine will

cause our 11 yr. old to wig out. We still do things, but only one thing at a

time

with a lot of thought put into how we will handle her stress. Could your son

just be overloaded with all these activities and the holiday?

I wouldn't normally advocate this, but what we did last fall the week before

a trip to visit relatives was to ask our child psych. to prescribe something

to calm my daughter down a bit. Her anxiety was so over-the-top that her

therapist suggested we do this just to get through the trip without constant and

complete meltdowns. So we got Klonipin, which we could give her for a few days

as

needed. It made all the difference in the world. It is NOT a long-term

solution, obviously, but for families that fall apart over the holidays it might

be

worth looking into.

My daughter is handling Christmas really well this year. OCD is so irrational

- her anxiety before a trip is all about whether it will live up to her

expectations, but she doesn't seem to have an issue with Christmas...

Best wishes for getting through this!

in NV

[Guest guest]

Sorry you're having such a tough time! The holidays have been

stressful for us in the past too but seem to have gotten better with

age ('s almost 15).

I'm curious as I'm not " up " on all the different meds, dosages, etc.

Did the Xanax help any at all immediately after or inbetween doses?

Must be a fast-acting type med if you can take several a day? I saw

something where Lexapro is approved for anxiety, so guess I'm

wondering about 2 anxiety meds (isn't Xanax anxiety?) and perhaps the

combo isn't agreeing with ds? Though I guess if he doesn't need

Xanax each day then the aforementioned thought is " out. "

In the past with , he would be so excited about Christmas that

I got so I expected him to throw up each Christmas morning! He didn't

last year and so far this year isn't quite so excited either; we'll

see. As I said, I think it's the age, becoming teens maybe. That,

plus there's no certain gift that he's getting that he's obsessing

over getting. Plus this is the first year that he's been on

medication (Celexa) and each afternoon/evening finds him napping now

since he's begun taking it.

Hope things improve and keep us updated. Once things get back to

more routine, perhaps your ds will settle down some re the anxiety.

> Things continue to get worse...

>

> Its 3 days before Christmas and it might as well never come. DS's

> anxiety is all consuming. We removed homework, then last week we

> removed him from school, now he's too stressed to even get out of

bed.

>

> He spent last Thurs. night and most of the day Friday with one

> Grandma, Fri. night with his other grandparents (we were there when

> he woke up Sat. morn), Sat. I took him to see Return of the King,

> Sunday morning he filled his role in the church Christmas program

and