Guest guest Posted March 12, 2004 Report Share Posted March 12, 2004 Hi Lori, I missed answering some posts so apologize that so much time has gone by. I wanted to mention that my child also had the obsessions about killing us/herself/her dog. For those (and all others, such as the lesbian obsession--very common by the way) the ERP is for her to slowly acclimate and get comfortable with the idea that indeed she may kill you or herself, or may be a lesbian, or whatever upsetting thing OCD is tormenting her with. OCD btw tends to focus on the worst thing for the person, the things most contrary to who and how she is, and then beats them up with the doubt of being unable to feel sure. So instead of rushing to reassure whenever the lesbian idea pops up, which just strengthens it, a better approach may be to respond " Well what if you are? I'll still love you the same " or some similar that leaves open the idea that the obsession *could* be true and so what if it is. This will cause anxiety at first but with repetition the anxiety will fall and the obsession will fade. OCD can't torment someone with an idea that they've gotten comfortable with through exposure and repetition. We did sort of imaginal exposures with our daughter re her obsessions that really she wanted to kill us. We had matter-of-fact discussions on the details: how would she kill us, when, where would she live after we were dead, would she end up in some sort of prison orphanage if she killed her parents at age 6!! As ghastly as these as these discussions were, they did work to lower her anxiety around the obsession that she wanted to kill us, and it did fade away. Though it's hard sometimes given the disgust level of some of these obsessions, trying to inject a little humor can also be helpful. For example re the above, once when she told me OCD was telling her she really wanted to kill her parents, I pointed out that it wasn't going to be an easy job for her because we were so big and there were two of us... I hope Kaitlin is 100% after her surgery by now :-) Take care, Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > Hi all > Kaitlin is physically recovering from her gallblader surgery, still some pain > but not as severe as it was. However OCD is having a field day, she is having > really intensive original ocd > thoughts. Her original thoughts were of killing us and herself and that she > was a > lesbian. The lesbian thoughts are really intensive right now, has anyone out > there delt > with this one with their child and any stradegies for fighting this one I am > really at a lost > on how to help her. All of the gay marriage stuff in the news is not helping. > Do I think > she is really gay ? no she likes guys way too much! Anyway help! Thanks! > > Lori T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2004 Report Share Posted March 12, 2004 Kathy R. Hi thanks for the post, Kaitlin is improving physically, still not 100% but getting there. She is suppose to go back to school next week. I really appreciate your suggestions on how to deal with the lesbian ocd thoughts because they are really rampant. We see her p-doc on tuesday I will discuss this approach with her. She tried that with her during a session a couple of weeks ago and she had such a melt down after we saw her I had to call her on service that night. To say the least Im a little hesitant, but I see the concept. Thanks again! Hope all is well with you, good to see you on the post. LoriT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2004 Report Share Posted March 12, 2004 Hi Lori, sometimes you have to start **very** low and slow with these types of exposures...judging just where and at what level can be tough. Can your daughter help out by coming up with some things that would be a little anxiety provoking, but not send her out of control? She could then rank the exposures from easiest to hardest and work her way up. It sounds like last time, the exposure was too much too soon. She needs to acclimate to the anxiety and then experience it falling, not be triggered over the top. Just making out such a list, physically writing suggested exposures down, can be exposure in itself. Suggestions could be, reading an article about gay marriages, watching one of the " gay " themed shows or one with a gay character on TV, spending time with someone who is gay or who " seems " gay according to her OCD, etc. etc. As you mentioned there seem to be many opportunities in the media and elsewhere lately to be exposed to gay and lesbian ideas and thoughts :-) I'm glad she's feeling better and wish Kaitlin best luck in returning to school next week, and in making some inroads into the lesbian obsession. It's just not funny when OCD pounds away on an idea such as this that is so upsetting to a child. My daughter had several of these upsetting obsessions, and though I found a lot of the ERP repugnant it really did work to free her from them. Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > Kathy R. > Hi thanks for the post, Kaitlin is improving physically, still not 100% but > getting there. > She is suppose to go back to school next week. I really appreciate your > suggestions on > how to deal with the lesbian ocd thoughts because they are really rampant. We > see > her p-doc on tuesday I will discuss this approach with her. She tried that > with her > during a session a couple of weeks ago and she had such a melt down after we > saw her I had to call her on service that night. To say the least Im a little > hesitant, but I see the concept. Thanks again! Hope all is well with you, > good to see you on the post. LoriT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2004 Report Share Posted March 12, 2004 Kathy R. In Indiana, I am dealing with those tough thoughts right now with my son, and the way you dealt with them is bold, but yet, it just might work. Ha. Anyway, I've hesitantly tried things like that in the past, not feeling very confident about it, but sounds like it's sort of like the exposure thing. How in the world are you so tough to do so?! I have instinctively thought about that approach, but the word you used, " disgust " is what we experienced. You do think it causes a desired affect, though?! in Illinois Re: Post surgery OCD Hi Lori, I missed answering some posts so apologize that so much time has gone by. I wanted to mention that my child also had the obsessions about killing us/herself/her dog. For those (and all others, such as the lesbian obsession--very common by the way) the ERP is for her to slowly acclimate and get comfortable with the idea that indeed she may kill you or herself, or may be a lesbian, or whatever upsetting thing OCD is tormenting her with. OCD btw tends to focus on the worst thing for the person, the things most contrary to who and how she is, and then beats them up with the doubt of being unable to feel sure. So instead of rushing to reassure whenever the lesbian idea pops up, which just strengthens it, a better approach may be to respond " Well what if you are? I'll still love you the same " or some similar that leaves open the idea that the obsession *could* be true and so what if it is. This will cause anxiety at first but with repetition the anxiety will fall and the obsession will fade. OCD can't torment someone with an idea that they've gotten comfortable with through exposure and repetition. We did sort of imaginal exposures with our daughter re her obsessions that really she wanted to kill us. We had matter-of-fact discussions on the details: how would she kill us, when, where would she live after we were dead, would she end up in some sort of prison orphanage if she killed her parents at age 6!! As ghastly as these as these discussions were, they did work to lower her anxiety around the obsession that she wanted to kill us, and it did fade away. Though it's hard sometimes given the disgust level of some of these obsessions, trying to inject a little humor can also be helpful. For example re the above, once when she told me OCD was telling her she really wanted to kill her parents, I pointed out that it wasn't going to be an easy job for her because we were so big and there were two of us... I hope Kaitlin is 100% after her surgery by now :-) Take care, Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- > Hi all > Kaitlin is physically recovering from her gallblader surgery, still some pain > but not as severe as it was. However OCD is having a field day, she is having > really intensive original ocd > thoughts. Her original thoughts were of killing us and herself and that she > was a > lesbian. The lesbian thoughts are really intensive right now, has anyone out > there delt > with this one with their child and any stradegies for fighting this one I am > really at a lost > on how to help her. All of the gay marriage stuff in the news is not helping. > Do I think > she is really gay ? no she likes guys way too much! Anyway help! Thanks! > > Lori T Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// . Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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