Is this part of OCD?

[Guest guest]

Hi,I haven't posted in quite a while so I'll give some quick

backround.My 9 year old son was diagnosed last spring with

Ocd.He goes to Therapy and takes 50mg of Luvox.His bad thoughts and

fears have almost vanished except for the occasional one which

usually can be delt with be saying its that OCD again just boss it

back and he does.He can even play certain video games again and watch

some movies that he couldn't before.The new problem is his tantrums

(this has happened before but it just gets worse).If he doesn't get

his way,he just freaks.Sometimes he won't even let me or his father

speak and says it all our fault(even when we have said nothing).Of

course we can't let him do what ever he wants to keep peace but these

blow ups are getting so bad (like when he throws things or break

things)we are at a loss as what to do.His therapist thinks it may be

because of his age and its just a power struggle between us.I feel

like sometimes when we are in the middle of an arguement he gets

obsessed with being right and blaming others.Also he is under

terrible pressure at school and homework time is a complete

nightmare.He doesn't want to do it and if I say you have to or else

your grounded,he freaks.If I take the other road and say just don't

do and pay the price in school tomorrow he also freaks .It is a no

win situation.Anything can set him off and we find ourselve walking

on eggshells untill it all builds up and the whole house gets turned

upside down.It is hard to keep your mouth shut and ignore him when he

gets out of control but sometimes saying something makes it ten times

worse.What should we do.Please help!Thanks at least for letting me

vent.~

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> We love our children so

> much and want to solve all their problems even when they are fighting

> us every step of the way.I always get scared that these battles that

> we have are the memories he'll think of as an adult.I guess I just

> want him to remember the happy times too.

*****Hi , my daughter does not seem to remember the bad OCD periods

or the family uproar around them of trying to motivate her in therapy, or

just live life day to day. I think I've read posts from others who have

said the same. Anyway I think there's reason to believe the bad times will

drop out of his memory, plus with maturity he will realize the effort and

love you put in to helping him become well in spite of his resistance.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

[Guest guest]

Hi , does your son have a 504 or IEP? I think I would get

accommodations for him pronto regarding homework and the length of time it

is taking. Many kids with OCD, especially when it is severe, are not able

to do homework consistently or within reasonable amount of time due to

compulsions and perfectionism.

Since getting formal accommodations can take a long time, and you and your

son need help now, you might ask his teacher how long her homework

assignments are to take and make sure she knows how long it is taking your

son each evening. Ask her/tell her that your son will do homework for the

amount of time she intends, and you will write off on the rest of it. Your

son should be graded on what he does do, not counted down for undone

homework.

Your son may go for this idea more readily if he understands that this

arrangement is just for now when OCD is giving him such a hard time. I

remember you posted that he does not want to leave work undone--but for him

this would be good exposure to being " bad " and less than perfect. There is

every reason to hope that once the new med kicks in, he will no longer need

a special arrangement for homework, which also may make this idea more

agreeable to him.

Re the embarrassing remarks, insistence that written work be redone, etc. I

once did tell a teacher politely but firmly that whether she agreed or

understood or not, that my child was not to be publicly embarrassed or

criticized, made to redo work due to poor handwriting, or consequenced for

squirming, making noises, or facial expressions (she was having a lot of

tics at the time.) I had spent over half the school year explaining my

child's disorders, her symptoms, having Kel's doctor call, and so on and

still Kel was being subjected to these episodes frequently. This is not my

usual approach but I did say that if there was another incident I would

contact the principal and on up the line from there if need be. I felt I

had

no choice because it was becoming touch and go whether my daughter

would/could go to school due to her anxiety every morning, and keeping

her attending regularly was a main goal.

Generally I catch more flies with honey. I'm not sure if I convinced this

teacher of anything having to do with how OCD may interfere in the

classroom, or if she just wrote me off as hysterical and thought the apple

didn't fall far from the tree, but either way the problems in the classroom

stopped.

Take care, my heart goes out to you and your son,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> Hi all, I can't thank you enough for all your great advice.The

> weekend wasn't to bad but back to school today is a different

> story.For those who were asking about the problems with school here

> it goes......Before the start of the school year I spoke to the

> principal about 's situation.He is a smart boy and even gets

> awards for his work but still there are those times when he is in OCD

> land and he might take a little longer or write sloppy(only in his

> copybook not when things are being graded).Anyway I had heard fourth

> grade was tough and his teacher even tougher so I wanted to make sure

> this was the right situation for him.She assured me that his teacher

> had delt with a lot of these situations over her 20 year career.We

> felt good about the new year but not for long.I have to say this

> teacher is the worst, even for a child who doesn't have issues.I've

> had a few meetings with her and she is so kind in person but from

> talking to other Moms I know it's not just my son having a problem

> with her.I have told her that when is under a lot of pressure

> his symptoms gets worse.She thinks because his grades are good that

> their is no problem.This teacher is stuck in her ways and will not

> budge.I want to go the principal and possibly change his class but my

> son is embarressed and says it will make things worse.When homework

> time come he has just had it.Most nights its not to bad and I try

> telling him I will help and we can kick it out fast.IT is pulling

> teeth sometimes.He will put his head under the blanket,rock back and

> forth on the chair,any possible distraction.It drives me crazy.I can

> be patient for so long and just end up saying ok we're done.He won't

> not do it though so 1 hour of homework can turn into three .It is

> truely hell.He end up with almost no time to play . I just don't know

> what to do.Gotta go for now.Thanks again.~~

[Guest guest]

Dear Kathy,

We have an appt. today with his Dr. to discuss whats been going on

and to answer your question, no my son does not have a 504 or

IEP.Truthfully I don't know much about them.I was told be a teacher

once that having a IEP will label him(whatever that means)for the

rest of his life and he gets good grades so she felt is was a bad

idea.This was the end of last school year when was first

diagnosed and we were just learning about his OCD.I will definetly

discuss this with his Dr. today.As far as his teacher goes,I am done

trying to explain things to her.She acts so concerned at our meetings

but I have learned she doesn't take into account anything I say to

her when dealing with my son.I have asked her not to put so much

pressure on him,but it seems to me she is doing just the opposite.As

for the principal,I feel she steered us down a bad path when she said

this teacher would be the right one for .I intend to have another

meeting but this time I will fight for my son.After all he needs

someone in his corner.Also I was wondering if by law the schools had

to do the IEP and 504?My son goes to a private Catholic school and I

didn't know if they had to follow the same guideline of the public

schools.Well Thanks again for your input.This board has given me a

lot to think about and I am greatful to look into all these things.At

least I feel like it's not a dead end.Let you all know how his

appt.goes.~~

-- In , " Kathy "

<kathylr@a...> wrote:

> Hi , does your son have a 504 or IEP? I think I would get

> accommodations for him pronto regarding homework and the length of

time it

> is taking. Many kids with OCD, especially when it is severe, are

not able

> to do homework consistently or within reasonable amount of time due

to

> compulsions and perfectionism.

>

> Since getting formal accommodations can take a long time, and you

and your

> son need help now, you might ask his teacher how long her homework

> assignments are to take and make sure she knows how long it is

taking your

> son each evening. Ask her/tell her that your son will do homework

for the

> amount of time she intends, and you will write off on the rest of

it. Your

> son should be graded on what he does do, not counted down for undone

> homework.

>

> Your son may go for this idea more readily if he understands that

this

> arrangement is just for now when OCD is giving him such a hard

time. I

> remember you posted that he does not want to leave work undone--but

for him

> this would be good exposure to being " bad " and less than perfect.

There is

> every reason to hope that once the new med kicks in, he will no

longer need

> a special arrangement for homework, which also may make this idea

more

> agreeable to him.

>

> Re the embarrassing remarks, insistence that written work be

redone, etc. I

> once did tell a teacher politely but firmly that whether she agreed

or

> understood or not, that my child was not to be publicly embarrassed

or

> criticized, made to redo work due to poor handwriting, or

consequenced for

> squirming, making noises, or facial expressions (she was having a

lot of

> tics at the time.) I had spent over half the school year

explaining my

> child's disorders, her symptoms, having Kel's doctor call, and so

on and

> still Kel was being subjected to these episodes frequently. This

is not my

> usual approach but I did say that if there was another incident I

would

> contact the principal and on up the line from there if need be. I

felt I

> had

> no choice because it was becoming touch and go whether my daughter

> would/could go to school due to her anxiety every morning, and

keeping

> her attending regularly was a main goal.

>

> Generally I catch more flies with honey. I'm not sure if I

convinced this

> teacher of anything having to do with how OCD may interfere in the

> classroom, or if she just wrote me off as hysterical and thought

the apple

> didn't fall far from the tree, but either way the problems in the

classroom

> stopped.

>

> Take care, my heart goes out to you and your son,

> Kathy R. in Indiana

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: " sweetpea1229 " <sweetpea1229@y...>

> > Hi all, I can't thank you enough for all your great advice.The

> > weekend wasn't to bad but back to school today is a different

> > story.For those who were asking about the problems with school

here

> > it goes......Before the start of the school year I spoke to the

> > principal about 's situation.He is a smart boy and even gets

> > awards for his work but still there are those times when he is in

OCD

> > land and he might take a little longer or write sloppy(only in his

> > copybook not when things are being graded).Anyway I had heard

fourth

> > grade was tough and his teacher even tougher so I wanted to make

sure

> > this was the right situation for him.She assured me that his

teacher

> > had delt with a lot of these situations over her 20 year career.We

> > felt good about the new year but not for long.I have to say this

> > teacher is the worst, even for a child who doesn't have

issues.I've

> > had a few meetings with her and she is so kind in person but from

> > talking to other Moms I know it's not just my son having a problem

> > with her.I have told her that when is under a lot of pressure

> > his symptoms gets worse.She thinks because his grades are good

that

> > their is no problem.This teacher is stuck in her ways and will not

> > budge.I want to go the principal and possibly change his class

but my

> > son is embarressed and says it will make things worse.When

homework

> > time come he has just had it.Most nights its not to bad and I try

> > telling him I will help and we can kick it out fast.IT is pulling

> > teeth sometimes.He will put his head under the blanket,rock back

and

> > forth on the chair,any possible distraction.It drives me crazy.I

can

> > be patient for so long and just end up saying ok we're done.He

won't

> > not do it though so 1 hour of homework can turn into three .It is

> > truely hell.He end up with almost no time to play . I just don't

know

> > what to do.Gotta go for now.Thanks again.~~