Would you call this OCD?

[Guest guest]

DS and DH had a huge blow-out today. DH was having an important business

call and DS HAD to tell him something, but DH thought if he waved him away

and ignored him he would stop. This only increased DS's insistence that DH

pay attention. I think some of this is normal -- for a three year-old, but

he's eight! I want DH to understand that DS doesn't just do this to make

his life miserable, but I don't quite know how to explain it to him.

Christie

[Guest guest]

I'm not sure if it is OCD or not. It could be or it could be a very emotionally

immature child which is common in anxious children, or Asperger's or a number of

other things. I'm not trying to make you worry though. I just don't know

enough to answer your question.

What I would suggest is to take 5 seconds and explain you will listen to him

when you get off the phone and then ignore him. If I just wave away either of

my children (even without OCD) they behave like this too. If I acknowledge that

I have heard them and that their needs will be met if they wait patiently, they

are usually pretty good. To keep things short at the time, explain ahead of

time that that is what you will be doing. Then it isn't as much of a shock. It

might take doing this a few times for it to work but eventually it should unless

it really is OCD and it is more severe.

---------------------------------

Post your free ad now! Yahoo! Canada Personals

[Guest guest]

Can anyone describe to me how their children with Asperger's behave? I am

wondering if some of the behaviors I see in my son could be related to this.

Thank you.

Re: Would you call this OCD?

I'm not sure if it is OCD or not. It could be or it could be a very

emotionally immature child which is common in anxious children, or Asperger's or

a number of other things. I'm not trying to make you worry though. I just

don't know enough to answer your question.

What I would suggest is to take 5 seconds and explain you will listen to him

when you get off the phone and then ignore him. If I just wave away either of

my children (even without OCD) they behave like this too. If I acknowledge that

I have heard them and that their needs will be met if they wait patiently, they

are usually pretty good. To keep things short at the time, explain ahead of

time that that is what you will be doing. Then it isn't as much of a shock. It

might take doing this a few times for it to work but eventually it should unless

it really is OCD and it is more severe.

---------------------------------

Post your free ad now! Yahoo! Canada Personals

[Guest guest]

Christie, this behavior can be compulsive, the OCDer just *has* to confess

or tell something no matter the circumstances or knowing that it will make

the other person angry. A lot of times it looks like the OCDer is just rude

and given to interrupting.

If your son continues this behavior despite dh's blowup (or doesn't but is

highly anxious due to being prevented from doing a compulsion) then you will

have your answer that the interrupting is OCD-related.

My daughter has this tendency (used to be full-blown and awful), she says

that she does it because if she doesn't, she will quickly forget what she

needs to say. Never mind that what she needs to interrupt with has never

yet been important in the usual sense (The house is on fire!!) So her OCD

fear has to do with losing some important piece of info irretrievably.

Seeing me on the phone, unavailable to her, seemed to trigger this

compulsion.

We worked on this compulsion by offering a reward whenever she could delay

telling me something " urgent " when I was on the phone. I warned her when I

was about to place a phone call and reminded her of our " deal " . Incoming

calls were " surprise " exposures and harder for her. She did improve very

much with this and no longer " must " tell me things when I'm on the

phone--usually.

I wasn't often on the phone though. If your husband frequently needs to use

the phone for business he may need to come up with a plan to do an end run

around this compulsion. He wouldn't be the first parent to place a business

call from the bathroom LOL! My dh used to go out to his car in the drive

and use his cell phone for business calls there.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

p.s. I think a lot of eight-year-olds would interrupt their parents on the

phone, OCD or not. Not interrupting others takes that insight and

acceptance that someone else's needs may be greater than your own, plus

remembering to apply it at the right time. I don't think a lot of eights

would be there developmentally.

----- Original Message -----

> DS and DH had a huge blow-out today. DH was having an important business

> call and DS HAD to tell him something, but DH thought if he waved him away

> and ignored him he would stop. This only increased DS's insistence that DH

> pay attention. I think some of this is normal -- for a three year-old, but

> he's eight! I want DH to understand that DS doesn't just do this to make

> his life miserable, but I don't quite know how to explain it to him.

> Christie

[Guest guest]

I am really learning a lot since joining this group. I wish I had

joined 6 years ago.

This as well as many other messages really speak to our DS.

Interesting. Our DS has a " gift " for saying or doing the wrong thing

at the wrong time. This is clearly a compulsion.

The hard thing is to get others to see it as the disability and not

the child. Like teachers who may not be as experienced and are prone

to taking points away for this behavior. Unfortunately that doesn't

teach the child anything but fear of losing points. Which just

increases the stress and triggers more anxiety. I have always likened

it to Tourettes and now I have a greater understanding of my

instinctual rationale.

Thanks,

Tammy

> Christie, this behavior can be compulsive, the OCDer just *has* to

confess

> or tell something no matter the circumstances or knowing that it

will make

> the other person angry. A lot of times it looks like the OCDer is

just rude

> and given to interrupting.