Re:sibling impact

[Guest guest]

It sounds like you are not in denial.... but that your other kids are rightfully relieved as well. Both are valid - I guess the question is - does your son WANT to see his siblings right now? How old is your son? Your other kids should probably not be forced to visit, it sounds like they really are victims of DV from what little you said - just because brother is on the spectrum doesn't mean they aren't affected traumatically as you already know.. Perhaps they can write him letters or make gifts for him for now?

I think I'm at a much earlier stage than you are. My DS is 3 y.o. He is extremely violent to his twin sister and older Aspie bro. And to me and to anyone close in the family. Seems like most of our time is spent watching him to subvert the violence or holding him down until the violence passes. I don't know what we'll do when he's too big to do that....

[Guest guest]

Hi , I hope my children will write or talk by phone soon. My son

has not asked to visit with his siblings. He is a twin also. The DV

part is really hard on his siblings,our family. 3 of my 8 children

are autistic. My 10yr son is the one who became so violent. My older

2 autistic children never hurt family or people when they were under

stress or meltdowns. I know its gonna be so hard to establish trust

in our family following violence. I dont want my children to accept

violence. Its created alot of confusing feelings. I am still in shock

myself. My son became so hard to restrain. Its hard to live with your

guard up and safety plan in place. We still got hurt. I really know

what your going through. There has to be answers waiting to be

discovered. You describe your situation so well. I can really

relate,living like this ourselves. It takes so much energy.

Thank you for your ideas. Best wishes,

Tishanne

>

> It sounds like you are not in denial.... but that your other kids

are rightfully relieved as well. Both are valid - I guess the

question is - does your son WANT to see his siblings right now? How

old is your son? Your other kids should probably not be forced to

visit, it sounds like they really are victims of DV from what little

you said - just because brother is on the spectrum doesn't mean they

aren't affected traumatically as you already know.. Perhaps they can

write him letters or make gifts for him for now?

>  

> I think I'm at a much earlier stage than you are. My DS is 3 y.o.

He is extremely violent to his twin sister and older Aspie bro. And

to me and to anyone close in the family. Seems like most of our time

is spent watching him to subvert the violence or holding him down

until the violence passes. I don't know what we'll do when he's too

big to do that....

>

[Guest guest]

Tishanne,

Is your son receiving medications? If so, what meds is he on?

>

> Subject: Re:sibling impact

> To: AutismBehaviorProblems

> Date: Monday, September 15, 2008, 2:02 AM

> Hi , I hope my children will write or talk by phone

> soon. My son

> has not asked to visit with his siblings. He is a twin

> also. The DV

> part is really hard on his siblings,our family. 3 of my 8

> children

> are autistic. My 10yr son is the one who became so violent.

> My older

> 2 autistic children never hurt family or people when they

> were under

> stress or meltdowns. I know its gonna be so hard to

> establish trust

> in our family following violence. I dont want my children

> to accept

> violence. Its created alot of confusing feelings. I am

> still in shock

> myself. My son became so hard to restrain. Its hard to live

> with your

> guard up and safety plan in place. We still got hurt. I

> really know

> what your going through. There has to be answers waiting to

> be

> discovered. You describe your situation so well. I can

> really

> relate,living like this ourselves. It takes so much energy.

> Thank you for your ideas. Best wishes,

> Tishanne

>

> >

> > It sounds like you are not in denial.... but that your

> other kids

> are rightfully relieved as well. Both are valid - I guess

> the

> question is - does your son WANT to see his siblings right

> now? How

> old is your son? Your other kids should probably not be

> forced to

> visit, it sounds like they really are victims of DV from

> what little

> you said - just because brother is on the spectrum

> doesn't mean they

> aren't affected traumatically as you already know..

> Perhaps they can

> write him letters or make gifts for him for now?

> >  

> > I think I'm at a much earlier stage than you are.

> My DS is 3 y.o.

> He is extremely violent to his twin sister and older Aspie

> bro. And

> to me and to anyone close in the family. Seems like most of

> our time

> is spent watching him to subvert the violence or holding

> him down

> until the violence passes. I don't know what we'll

> do when he's too

> big to do that....

> >

[Guest guest]

Only zydis as needed for behavior{tranquilizing}. Was on celexa 40mg

per day. Adavan 5mg,3x day.

-- In AutismBehaviorProblems , Bill Nason

wrote:

>

> Tishanne,

>

> Is your son receiving medications? If so, what meds is he on?

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Subject: Re:sibling impact

> > To: AutismBehaviorProblems

> > Date: Monday, September 15, 2008, 2:02 AM

> > Hi , I hope my children will write or talk by phone

> > soon. My son

> > has not asked to visit with his siblings. He is a twin

> > also. The DV

> > part is really hard on his siblings,our family. 3 of my 8

> > children

> > are autistic. My 10yr son is the one who became so violent.

> > My older

> > 2 autistic children never hurt family or people when they

> > were under

> > stress or meltdowns. I know its gonna be so hard to

> > establish trust

> > in our family following violence. I dont want my children

> > to accept

> > violence. Its created alot of confusing feelings. I am

> > still in shock

> > myself. My son became so hard to restrain. Its hard to live

> > with your

> > guard up and safety plan in place. We still got hurt. I

> > really know

> > what your going through. There has to be answers waiting to

> > be

> > discovered. You describe your situation so well. I can

> > really

> > relate,living like this ourselves. It takes so much energy.

> > Thank you for your ideas. Best wishes,

> > Tishanne

> >

> > >

> > > It sounds like you are not in denial.... but that your

> > other kids

> > are rightfully relieved as well. Both are valid - I guess

> > the

> > question is - does your son WANT to see his siblings right

> > now? How

> > old is your son? Your other kids should probably not be

> > forced to

> > visit, it sounds like they really are victims of DV from

> > what little

> > you said - just because brother is on the spectrum

> > doesn't mean they

> > aren't affected traumatically as you already know..

> > Perhaps they can

> > write him letters or make gifts for him for now?

> > >  

> > > I think I'm at a much earlier stage than you are.

> > My DS is 3 y.o.

> > He is extremely violent to his twin sister and older Aspie

> > bro. And

> > to me and to anyone close in the family. Seems like most of

> > our time

> > is spent watching him to subvert the violence or holding

> > him down

> > until the violence passes. I don't know what we'll

> > do when he's too

> > big to do that....

> > >

>

[Guest guest]

, we have a similar situation with our

son – he is now 8 and still has violent outbursts a few times a week. We

did choose to use medication for him starting in July of 2007 and it has made a

huge difference. We are not pro-med or anti-med….we actually do a lot of

biomedical treatments – we have done testing for his gut and immune

system and we give him supplements and probiotics and use a GFCF diet. It

helps a lot, But when he got to be 7 it was not helping enough for the impulses

and aggression he struggles with. So we very thoughtfully and with MUCH

research and consultation with more than one doctor, decided to try a

medication with him. And it has made a huge difference.

Even if you are hesitant to use meds, as I

was (and frankly still am – we are very cautious and try to keep his meds

to just the minimum he needs to function effectively), the thing that finally

turned my mind around was talking with a specialist who was ‘lucky’

enough to see at his very worst for over an hour. At that time those

violent tantrums were almost daily and our 5 year old and 1 yr old sons were

regularly getting knocked down L

This doc was very compassionate and asked

me if I thought it was fair for to be constantly in angry turmoil…I

realized that allowing him to live like that meant that he was almost always

hearing negative messages, almost always living with trauma and emotion out of

control. So we did our research and tried medication at a prudent dose. We

adjusted things a few times as we did not want to medicate his spirit out of

him, just allow him to control and function better. And we have a decent

balance right now. is still very much , and we do still have

aggression at times, but on the whole it is controllable for him and I truly

believe he is happier and feels better, physically and emotionally.

Don’t know if that helps, and your

son is younger than ours was when we started using meds, but I thought I would

offer our experience in response to the “What we’ll do when he’s

too big to do that…” part of your post. I feel your pain, that’s

for sure.

Hugs

Dora in WA

From:

AutismBehaviorProblems

[mailto:AutismBehaviorProblems ] On Behalf Of lisa sigismondi

Sent: Sunday, September 14, 2008

9:15 PM

To:

AutismBehaviorProblems

Subject: Re:sibling

impact

It sounds like you are not in denial.... but that

your other kids are rightfully relieved as well. Both are valid - I guess the

question is - does your son WANT to see his siblings right now? How old is

your son? Your other kids should probably not be forced to visit, it sounds

like they really are victims of DV from what little you said - just because

brother is on the spectrum doesn't mean they aren't affected traumatically as

you already know.. Perhaps they can write him letters or make gifts for him for

now?

I think I'm at a much earlier stage than you are. My

DS is 3 y.o. He is extremely violent to his twin sister and older Aspie bro.

And to me and to anyone close in the family. Seems like most of our time is

spent watching him to subvert the violence or holding him down until the

violence passes. I don't know what we'll do when he's too big to do that....

[Guest guest]

Zydis is a behavior tranquilizer? How does it work? has been so wild and really acting up and I dont kow what to do. he is on Depekote and that never helped his moods. His neuro put him on the smallest does of Risperdal over a month ago, and we have not seen any changes really in behavior.

Stacie B

aurora IL

Only zydis as needed for behavior{tranquilizing}. Was on celexa 40mg per day. Adavan 5mg,3x day.-- In AutismBehaviorProblems , Bill Nason wrote:>> Tishanne,> > Is your son receiving medications? If so, what meds is he on?> > > > > > > > Subject: Re:sibling impact> > To: AutismBehaviorProblems > > Date: Monday, September 15, 2008, 2:02 AM> > Hi , I hope my children will write or talk by phone> > soon. My son > > has not asked to visit with his siblings. He is a twin> > also. The DV > > part is really hard on his siblings,our family. 3 of my 8> > children > > are autistic. My 10yr son is the one who became so violent.> > My older > > 2 autistic children never hurt family or people when they> > were under > > stress or meltdowns. I know its gonna be so hard to> > establish trust > > in our family following violence. I dont want my children> > to accept > > violence. Its created alot of confusing feelings. I am> > still in shock > > myself. My son became so hard to restrain. Its hard to live> > with your > > guard up and safety plan in place. We still got hurt. I> > really know > > what your going through. There has to be answers waiting to> > be > > discovered. You describe your situation so well. I can> > really > > relate,living like this ourselves. It takes so much energy.> > Thank you for your ideas. Best wishes, > > Tishanne> > > > >> > > It sounds like you are not in denial.... but that your> > other kids > > are rightfully relieved as well. Both are valid - I guess> > the > > question is - does your son WANT to see his siblings right> > now? How > > old is your son? Your other kids should probably not be> > forced to > > visit, it sounds like they really are victims of DV from> > what little > > you said - just because brother is on the spectrum> > doesn't mean they > > aren't affected traumatically as you already know..> > Perhaps they can > > write him letters or make gifts for him for now? > > > > > > I think I'm at a much earlier stage than you are.> > My DS is 3 y.o. > > He is extremely violent to his twin sister and older Aspie> > bro. And > > to me and to anyone close in the family. Seems like most of> > our time > > is spent watching him to subvert the violence or holding> > him down > > until the violence passes. I don't know what we'll> > do when he's too > > big to do that....> > >> Psssst...Have you heard the news? There's a new fashion blog, plus the latest fall trends and hair styles at StyleList.com.

[Guest guest]

Hi Stacie,heres what the Dr. told me about zydis. Its only been given

to my son when he couldnt dis-engage in aggressive behavior during

confrontation type aggression. He is given a small dose,5mg. It is

fast acting. Some kids may take a short knap after the dose. Its used

instead of restraints in aggression. I would ask your Dr. about it. I

think its what they call a " break through dose " for aggression. Let

me know what you find out. My older son used depakote for his

seizures. He has asperger autism.

Tishanne

-- In AutismBehaviorProblems , hawkie6@... wrote:

>

> Zydis is a behavior tranquilizer? How does it work? has

been so wild

> and really acting up and I dont kow what to do. he is on Depekote

and that

> never helped his moods. His neuro put him on the smallest does of

Risperdal

> over a month ago, and we have not seen any changes really in

behavior.

>

> Stacie B

> aurora IL

>

>

> In a message dated 9/15/2008 7:44:10 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

> tishannepatterson@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> Only zydis as needed for behavior{tranquilizOnly zydis as needed

for beha

> per day. Adavan 5mg,3x day.

> -- In _AutismBehaviorProblAutismBehaviorPrAut_

> (mailto:AutismBehaviorProblems ) , Bill Nason

> wrote:

> >

> > Tishanne,

> >

> > Is your son receiving medications? If so, what meds is he on?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > > From: tishannepatterson <tishannepatterson@tis>

> > > Subject: Re:sibling impact

> > > To: _AutismBehaviorProblAutismBehaviorPrAut_

> (mailto:AutismBehaviorProblems )

> > > Date: Monday, September 15, 2008, 2:02 AM

> > > Hi , I hope my children will write or talk by phone

> > > soon. My son

> > > has not asked to visit with his siblings. He is a twin

> > > also. The DV

> > > part is really hard on his siblings,our family. 3 of my 8

> > > children

> > > are autistic. My 10yr son is the one who became so violent.

> > > My older

> > > 2 autistic children never hurt family or people when they

> > > were under

> > > stress or meltdowns. I know its gonna be so hard to

> > > establish trust

> > > in our family following violence. I dont want my children

> > > to accept

> > > violence. Its created alot of confusing feelings. I am

> > > still in shock

> > > myself. My son became so hard to restrain. Its hard to live

> > > with your

> > > guard up and safety plan in place. We still got hurt. I

> > > really know

> > > what your going through. There has to be answers waiting to

> > > be

> > > discovered. You describe your situation so well. I can

> > > really

> > > relate,living like this ourselves. It takes so much energy.

> > > Thank you for your ideas. Best wishes,

> > > Tishanne

> > >

> > > >

> > > > It sounds like you are not in denial.... but that your

> > > other kids

> > > are rightfully relieved as well. Both are valid - I guess

> > > the

> > > question is - does your son WANT to see his siblings right

> > > now? How

> > > old is your son? Your other kids should probably not be

> > > forced to

> > > visit, it sounds like they really are victims of DV from

> > > what little

> > > you said - just because brother is on the spectrum

> > > doesn't mean they

> > > aren't affected traumatically as you already know..

> > > Perhaps they can

> > > write him letters or make gifts for him for now?

> > > >

> > > > I think I'm at a much earlier stage than you are.

> > > My DS is 3 y.o.

> > > He is extremely violent to his twin sister and older Aspie

> > > bro. And

> > > to me and to anyone close in the family. Seems like most of

> > > our time

> > > is spent watching him to subvert the violence or holding

> > > him down

> > > until the violence passes. I don't know what we'll

> > > do when he's too

> > > big to do that....

> > > >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> **************Psssst...Have you heard the news? There's a new

fashion blog,

> plus the latest fall trends and hair styles at StyleList.com.

> (http://www.stylelist.com/trends?ncid=aolsty00050000000014)

>

[Guest guest]

I will ask his neuro! I am gonna call them today! s depekote works for the seizures but has not done anything for the moods like it is suppose to! The dr put him on the lowest dose of risperdal over a month ago and I hate to have that increased! As it is he takes 1 125 mg depekote it am and 2 wed mg at dinner and a half of risperdal!StacieSent via BlackBerry by AT&TDate: Tue, 16 Sep 2008 04:48:33 -0000To: <AutismBehaviorProblems >Subject: Re:sibling impact Hi Stacie,heres what the Dr. told me about zydis. Its only been given to my son when he couldnt dis-engage in aggressive behavior during confrontation type aggression. He is given a small dose,5mg. It is fast acting. Some kids may take a short knap after the dose. Its used instead of restraints in aggression. I would ask your Dr. about it. I think its what they call a " break through dose " for aggression. Let me know what you find out. My older son used depakote for his seizures. He has asperger autism. Tishanne -- In AutismBehaviorProblems , hawkie6@... wrote: > > Zydis is a behavior tranquilizer? How does it work? has been so wild > and really acting up and I dont kow what to do. he is on Depekote and that > never helped his moods. His neuro put him on the smallest does of Risperdal > over a month ago, and we have not seen any changes really in behavior. > > Stacie B > aurora IL > > > > > > > > Only zydis as needed for behavior{tranquilizOnly zydis as needed for beha > per day. Adavan 5mg,3x day. > -- In _AutismBehaviorProblAutismBehaviorPrAut_ > (mailto:AutismBehaviorProblems ) , Bill Nason > wrote: > > > > Tishanne, > > > > Is your son receiving medications? If so, what meds is he on? > > > > > > > > > > > From: tishannepatterson <tishannepatterson@tis> > > > Subject: Re:sibling impact > > > To: _AutismBehaviorProblAutismBehaviorPrAut_ > (mailto:AutismBehaviorProblems ) > > > Date: Monday, September 15, 2008, 2:02 AM > > > Hi , I hope my children will write or talk by phone > > > soon. My son > > > has not asked to visit with his siblings. He is a twin > > > also. The DV > > > part is really hard on his siblings,our family. 3 of my 8 > > > children > > > are autistic. My 10yr son is the one who became so violent. > > > My older > > > 2 autistic children never hurt family or people when they > > > were under > > > stress or meltdowns. I know its gonna be so hard to > > > establish trust > > > in our family following violence. I dont want my children > > > to accept > > > violence. Its created alot of confusing feelings. I am > > > still in shock > > > myself. My son became so hard to restrain. Its hard to live > > > with your > > > guard up and safety plan in place. We still got hurt. I > > > really know > > > what your going through. There has to be answers waiting to > > > be > > > discovered. You describe your situation so well. I can > > > really > > > relate,living like this ourselves. It takes so much energy. > > > Thank you for your ideas. Best wishes, > > > Tishanne > > > > > > > > > > > It sounds like you are not in denial.... but that your > > > other kids > > > are rightfully relieved as well. Both are valid - I guess > > > the > > > question is - does your son WANT to see his siblings right > > > now? How > > > old is your son? Your other kids should probably not be > > > forced to > > > visit, it sounds like they really are victims of DV from > > > what little > > > you said - just because brother is on the spectrum > > > doesn't mean they > > > aren't affected traumatically as you already know.. > > > Perhaps they can > > > write him letters or make gifts for him for now? > > > > > > > > I think I'm at a much earlier stage than you are. > > > My DS is 3 y.o. > > > He is extremely violent to his twin sister and older Aspie > > > bro. And > > > to me and to anyone close in the family. Seems like most of > > > our time > > > is spent watching him to subvert the violence or holding > > > him down > > > until the violence passes. I don't know what we'll > > > do when he's too > > > big to do that.... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > **************Psssst...Have you heard the news? There's a new fashion blog, > plus the latest fall trends and hair styles at StyleList.com. > (http://www.stylelist.com/trends?ncid=aolsty00050000000014) >