Re: Need Help With School

[Guest guest]

and Kathy R.

Thank you so much for your posts. You describe my son perfectly. Although the

doctor won't say he has OCD, just compulsive behaviour, they acknowledge that it

looks like OCD. They just don't believe in labelling young children with a

diagnosis. They are still hoping he will outgrow it. I am not thinking this is

likely given that he has at least 2 blood relatives diagnosed with OCD. His

father (doesn't live with us) is one of them.

What I find strange is that although his teachers even mentioned doing some of

the things you suggest such as taking oral answers or letting me write down his

work, they said they won't mark that work. They won't mark anything he brings

home to finish that he didn't finish during the day. I have asked for it to

come home anyway so I can monitor how he is doing and to be sure that he

understands the material. Isn't that the important part of grade 2 anyway? As

long as he understands, he will be able to understand the next thing they learn

as they build upon their knowledge.

I hadn't been able to put into words before what I thought was happening with

him but you are right. He can't put the answer down or say it out loud until he

is sure it is " just right " . I know this is frustrating to people who don't

understand but his teachers are both special ed certified and one of them even

owns " Teaching the Tiger " . It just goes to show that you can educate people but

that doesn't mean they have learned anything. They don't apply what they have

learned.

I have tried to explain it by comparing him writing down answers to someone with

agoraphobia that has to leave the house. I'd bet that many of them would stay

in there even if it was burning down. It would depend on the day. The solution

may seem so obvious to others but they are judging our children based on what

they, themselves are capable of; not what our children are capable of. If they

can't get unstuck, they can't. End of story.

I have wondered over and over again the last 3 years we have been struggling

with this (thank goodness underwear, socks, pants and shirt don't all have to be

the same colour anymore) why people assume children with problems are either

lazy, bad, stupid or a combination of the 3. They are none of those things. In

fact, they probably put far more effort into getting dressed in the morning than

most people put into an entire day.

Sorry for the venting but Christmas is very stressful for my son and, therefore,

for all of us. He apparently has been spending most of the school day this week

just sitting at his desk playing with his pencil. Virtually nothing has made it

onto paper.

His doctor just increased his Celexa yesterday. He has only been on it 2

months. He said if the increased dose didn't help, he would consider something

else and gave me and the teacher the Connor's questionaire. He was originally

diagnosed with ADHD and GAD but when he took his Ritalin vacation this summer, I

never noticed any difference in his behaviour. The doctor doesn't see ADHD

anymore either. He fidgets a lot but he says that anxiety is causing that. He

says if you know much about children at all, you can sit back and watch them and

easily tell the difference just by watching their mannerisms. Things like

avoiding eye contact completely when he is nervous (not all the time).

Teacher's think it is all ADHD and some Ritalin will cure him. That didn't help

and increasing the dose just made him a zombie in class even though it wasn't

very much.

I am going to take all this information from both of you and Teaching the Tiger

and the Learning Disabilities website I found and demand that he get an

individual education plan with accomodations for how he is graded. Hopefully,

that will take some of the stress off. If they had any clue what he goes

through every day just getting out the door, they would probably be amazed. And

he isn't even all that severe.

Any suggestions for sleeping as the holidays approach and he stays up later and

later every night?

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