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Dear ,

I'd love to join you in your pity party, but I don't

trust anyone over 40 ... sorry! ;-)

, I can only imagine how difficult it is for you

to decide to find some care for , but I commend

you for it. It is always hard to admit we can't do

everything and keep everybody healthy and happy. Just

realizing that may prove to be the hardest part of

your situation. Now that you've decided to take

action, you can have more control over the situation

by systematically interviewing care providers.

We are very fortunate that Dan's mother lives nearby.

We went away for an overnight in the fall with just

our daughter , and I think it was a great

experience for all of us. Now I'm trying to arrange a

weekend for just Dan and me. I can't believe Teddy

will be two this month; that means it's been a LOOONG

time since we spent a night together alone.

Since I know nothing about respite care in California,

I can't offer any specific advice. Teddy has eight

hours of nursing care at night, five days a week (our

choice not to have nursing on the weekends) because of

his g-tube feedings. We also hire babysitters from a

nearby university for our evenings out (usually pizza

and Kmart, conveniently located in the same shopping

center). We've had a couple of nursing students, and

now have a special education major. It's great

experience for them, and a much-needed break for us.

Are 's special needs so great that she needs

specialized care, or could you find a willing

" regular " person who could care for her? Or, do you

know any other parents of special needs kids who might

be willing to do an exchange?

I wish you lots of luck as you begin another phase in

parenting . Do you have the book " Nobody's

Perfect " by ? There's a chapter in there

on separating which applies to all sorts of

separation, from starting school to full time care.

The whole book is one of my favorites to turn to again

and again when I feel like the world's worst mother of

a special needs kid. Keep us posted on how you're

doing, and thanks for sharing your experiences with

.

Meg and Teddy, almost 2, bilateral perisylvian

polymicrogyria, non-oral feeder, g-tube, crawling,

climbing stairs, pulling to stand, using some sign language

__________________________________________________

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