Re: School Help

[Guest guest]

Hi and welcome to the group. I see your son is dxed with

GAD/compulsive behaviors rather than OCD, but the problem he's having at

school (and the teacher's responses) are very very common in kids with OCD

so I bet you'll get a number of responses with tried-and-true suggestions

from this bunch :-) My first though is your son's problem may have to do

with compulsions such as " just right-just so " where he feels he just can't

write things down without getting stuck in a round and round perfectionism

problem.

Since you say he mumbles when giving correct answers, I also wonder if he's

having the " doubt " problem common in OCD kids, a feeling that they can not

be absolutely sure anything is right or true. In my child I call this " not

wanting to go on record " --she speaks in a normal tone but uses many

qualifiers-- " I think " or " maybe " or " sometimes yes, sometimes no " --as

taglines to her responses. If someone gets frustrated or in her face (such

as an upset teacher) I swear they can easily provoke enough anxiety to get

her to doubt her own name.

Since your boy does behavior therapy, you could ask his therapist about

doing Exposure and Response Prevention around his reluctance to write

answers down on papers in school, and any other specific problematic

avoiding behaviors he has. In this approach your son would do the things

that he's avoiding in a gradual, stair-step fashion until the anxiety this

produces falls to a negligible level.

Another thought is that he may need an increase in his Celexa or perhaps a

change to another SSRI--they do sometimes inexplicably " poop out " (stop

being effective.) If he's upset/anxious enough to want to avoid school

altogether, he is experiencing significant symptoms despite his medication.

An idea for his IEP is that the teacher will accept his oral answers to

tests and seatwork in lieu of written answers. His grades should reflect

his understanding/mastery of a subject rather than his ability to

demonstrate this in a certain fashion (written.) I would also want

something in there that teachers refrain from the remarks that cause him so

much upset such as " he's not trying " etc. since they are counterproductive.

A good book written by educations for educators is " Teaching the Tiger. "

This has many accommodation suggestions to address the types of problems

kids with anxiety/OCD, TS, and ADHD commonly have in the school setting.

Take care,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> Hi, I am new here. My son has been diagnosed with generalized

> anxiety disorder with some compulsive behaviours. He is 7 and on

> Celexa.

>

> He is having progressively greater problems at school with getting

> work done. He finishes almost nothing each day despite understanding

> the work and being able to answer orally correctly. He is getting

> close to failing some subjects like math where his educational

> testing indicated that he is just short of gifted. Someone suggested

> to me that he may be " stuck " with the idea that he can't do it and

> that is why no one can talk him into writing down the answers he is

> mumbling under his breath even though they are right.

>

> The teachers are not being helpful at all. The keep saying he isn't

> trying hard enough. He knows he can do better. Stuff like that. He

> cries every time someone says that to him. He says he is doing the

> best he can. Homework is stressful for both of us and he wants to

> quit school.

>

> He is in a behaviour modification therapy for his anxiety and it

> helps on the good days but doesn't on the bad ones.

>

> I want to get an IEP put in place for him but I am looking for ideas

> that might help him to feel more comfortable to write the answers

> down. Any suggestions?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Your son's problems are familiar to many of us here. My 11 year old

daughter has had several bad school years due to her OCD and ADHD. She is

finally

able to verbalize a bit what some of the problems have been about. One of the

biggest issues is perfectionism : she feels that if she can't get it done well,

why bother. Why start? Or if she starts an assignment and it isn't looking

neat and she isn't sure she'll get an A, she just writes anything down to get it

over with, figuring " oh well, I won't get an A anyway. " Also, she used to

have problems doing her work at all because the anxiety was so great that just

thinking about beginning it was overwhelming. If she did begin it, she often

just scribbled answers down without even reading the question, so she could hand

it in and be done with it.

Some useful things we put in her IEP were : 1) have her graded on just

what she finishes, so she will gradually learn to work steadily and aim for

quality, not quantity, 2) let us sign off on her homework if she is having a bad

night - just to reduce school stress in general, 3)give her the option to take

tests orally if she has problems writing, 4) let her go to a different room to

work if she is too distracted in the classroom. She also has the option to do

all her work on a computer which is wonderful because handwriting is a

problem for her (and many of our kids) but it's probably too early to consider

that

for your son.

A fantastic book to look at is Teaching The Tiger (available usually at

& Noble, I know). It's about school accomodations for children with OCD,

ADHD and Tourette's. It's full of useful suggestions for IEPs.

Good luck with this. This year our daughter is doing so much better -

there is hope!

in NV

[Guest guest]

,

I just cannot believe the nerve of the teacher to tell you that maybe

you should keep him at home when he's feeling anxious! AND that

there is nothing wrong with him " at all. "

OK, OK, we've had teachers somewhat similar, but, really, they should

be much more tactful about what they say; perhaps ask/suggest instead

of just " state. " (sorry for you asst teachers & teachers in the

group, I'm just venting a little here) Really, everyone should be

concerned about the student and their education. What's not fixed

this year will still be there next year usually and throwing them

behind, so everyone should be working on accommodations/supports for

NOW and with future school years in mind too.

AND if a student is testing almost " gifted " in areas and grades

aren't showing it - well, then that should point out there's a

problem somewhere. And I'd be tempted with teacher saying that

nothing is wrong with child, to just tell teacher that the problem

must be with " her " then. ARGH!

Sorry, but I just have to vent when schools do not think about the

child/student. I know they have 100's of kids and can't give each

one individual attention. But when parents are SEEKING help from

school and outside school - AND get verification from docs - then I

can't see why some teachers just don't want to comply and at least

TRY what everyone else (parents, docs, etc.) are saying the child

needs; even if teacher still believes it's just laziness or the child

doesn't care, etc.

And , go with your instincts on all things. I'm the only one

who really saw my son (almost 15 now) as Aspergers. Teachers might

say he's " different " but not much more. I'd always felt he had

autistic traits but " not enough " for a diagnosis. So at age 14 I

finally take him to get evaluated and they diagnose him as

HFA/Aspergers. Sort of a relief for me since it's what I'd always

thought, sort of sad to have it verified..., and needed in my opinion

as he was just standing out more apart as he got older (socially and

other ways). So I needed the diagnosis for anything that might come

up related to school. (was afraid high school might demand more in

some areas)

Like you said, as your son ages some of those Aspergers traits might

improve and he could outgrow the " diagnosis. " Just my 2 cents here,

but I believe some kids just show the tendencies or a " touch " of the

traits and that for them a lot of it can be outgrown; i.e, they can

qualify for a diagnosis now but with support over time, they

can " not " qualify later as they've improved so much. Just work on

any areas he needs help in, as we all try to do raising any child. I

wish I'd worked on more areas with ! Though he's one who'd

never have outgrown it all.

OK, sorry to have got on my own vent! But I would WRITE the school

and state what your son needs: IEP or 504 Plan and accommodations &

modifications as his GAD (was that it?) is affecting his ability to

do his schoolwork and his grades are suffering. You might stress

that he is learning the work (in all subjects?) but the inability to

complete the required written work is affecting his grades, something

like that.

Write the letter, mail it and then call within 8-10 days if you

haven't heard from anyone. Make sure you send it to the guidance

office (or whoever) and note a copy to the principal in the letter

also. Then if guidance doesn't seem to follow thru fast enough, call

the principal.

Just some thoughts, it's getting late, hope something was coherent!

>

> Thanks for all the support and information.

>

> His not completing work is affecting his report card, severely. He

is failing writing. His math marks vary from C to D- yet he is

almost gifted in math.

>

> I talked with his teachers on Friday which was a mistake. One of

them told me there is nothing wrong with my son at all, I am just

letting him get away with far to much. She also told me that if I

know him so well and I can see he is anxious, that maybe I should

just keep him at home those days. She was so unprofessional and

insulting to me. I am going to report her to the board. She crossed

the line. I tried explaining that he has been diagnosed by 3

pediatric psychiatrists and has been assessed by the school