Guest guest Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 Hi Kathy I dont know if she is doing this at school or not, I will ask the teacher tomorrow. alot of the times they dont see it for what it is,like the apology confessions, they just saw an overly polite child and the need to state the rules. Her teachers says it is so helpfull and doesnt see that she does it for reasurrances. that type of thing.so not sure how much info i will get from the teacher.Destinie has these symptoms that look normal and can be easily over looked. we over looked the apologising for three weeks untill it worsened and soemthign finally clicked in my brain, this isnt right.her symptoms can seems so normal. and then of coarse there are days when i wonder if i am parenoid LOL with Destinie and the confessions it was anywhere and every where except for occupational therapy , havent figured out why not there. Destinie is in phycho therapy once a week and it seems to be helping alot.We all like her therapist and that helps and the only bad thing is that it is a 2 hour drive to get there TJ Re: is this part of ocd? Hi TJ, I suggest limiting the number of times you will answer these compulsive questions and tell her the reason is because you've learned by answering them, you are just helping OCD get stronger and bug her more, which you love her way to much to do. Do you know if your child continues these questions when she's away from you? I ask because often enough, especially with a young child, that Mommy specifically answer is part of the ritual. When around others she may not be triggered to ask questions and so catch a break from the relentless doubt and anxiety she is experiencing. If this is true, you may see if you can find activities and events she can participate in pretty regularly to give both her and you a break from these questioning rituals. This worked well when my child was five and six years old. Back then just seeing me would trigger these compulsive questioning rituals. Also , if your daughter is not in therapy, I very much suggest you find an expert cognitive behavior therapist skilled in exposure and response prevention therapy for OCD. Though SSRIs such as Prozac are helpful as you are finding out, this therapy can having long-lasting effect and the combo is perhaps the quickest route to relief from OCD. Take care, Kathy R. in Indiana ----- Original Message ----- From: Tj Bland My daughter (6)has been doing much better since her recent prozac dosage increase, the confessions seem pretty much gone. But I have noticed that she seems to be becoming more and more stressed and anxious about things, she needs constant reassureance and keeps asking me if she is alright, will i choke , did i break a bone, am i bleeding, do i have germs, can i eat this ? will i die ?will it be ok if this touches me will it be ok if that touches me, do i have is this ok is that ok ? she cantr seem to do anything without step by step confirmation from me, it is driving me nuts. yeah ok so i am a bad parent, but may as well be honest here. I cringe every time she says mommy which is about 3 to 4 times a minute.Is this part of the ocd or is this something else ? and what in the world do i ? TJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 16, 2003 Report Share Posted September 16, 2003 Hi TJ: I am sure that you will hear from lots of us, Yes! Yes! Yes! Your are describing absolutely classic OCD symptoms. IT is not unusually for meds to make things worse before they get better, in fact exacerbation of symptoms is often a good sign that the SSRI is going to work for OCD! Talk about paradoxical... I suggest you discuss this with your daughter's therapist. These symptoms are all good targets for exposure and response prevention therapy. Good luck, take care, aloha, Kathy (h) kathy.hi@... is this part of ocd? My daughter (6)has been doing much better since her recent prozac dosage increase, the confessions seem pretty much gone. But I have noticed that she seems to be becoming more and more stressed and anxious about things, she needs constant reassureance and keeps asking me if she is alright, will i choke , did i break a bone, am i bleeding, do i have germs, can i eat this ? will i die ?will it be ok if this touches me will it be ok if that touches me, do i have is this ok is that ok ? she cantr seem to do anything without step by step confirmation from me, it is driving me nuts. yeah ok so i am a bad parent, but may as well be honest here. I cringe every time she says mommy which is about 3 to 4 times a minute.Is this part of the ocd or is this something else ? and what in the world do i ? TJ [ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 > The new problem is his tantrums > (this has happened before but it just gets worse).If he doesn't get > his way,he just freaks.Sometimes he won't even let me or his father > speak and says it all our fault(even when we have said nothing).Of > course we can't let him do what ever he wants to keep peace but these > blow ups are getting so bad (like when he throws things or break > things)we are at a loss as what to do.His therapist thinks it may be > because of his age and its just a power struggle between us.I feel > like sometimes when we are in the middle of an arguement he gets > obsessed with being right and blaming others. I don't know, for my son (7) if it's the OCD, or the tourette's or some other thing, but I describe it as a tendency to get " stuck " . (He calls it a brain tic). Not only does he sometimes obsess about thing, but he gets stuck on certain thoughts easily. Sometimes it looks like perseveration or looping where the same thought or idea comes up over and over. And sometimes it looks like a non-anxiety related obsession. (Remember record players and getting a skip in it. Such a perfect analogy...don't know what to compare it to in modern times). Whatever is causing it, if we catch it in time, we can simply remind him that he is getting stuck, and he will stop to think and try to decide if whatever the problem is is really a big deal, or if it's just stuck. A lot of times, he'll get quiet for a few seconds and then be over it. If we don't catch it in time (more often than not), we just have to ride it out. I'll tell him once, I don't think we can discuss this right now, you need to calm down first. His " tantrums/meltdowns " have gotten better and I can usually put him on the bed or in his room until the strong emotions have passed, but in the past I have had to physically restrain him. (Something, as a special education teacher I am trained to do). > Also he is under > terrible pressure at school and homework time is a complete > nightmare.He doesn't want to do it and if I say you have to or else > your grounded,he freaks.If I take the other road and say just don't > do and pay the price in school tomorrow he also freaks .It is a no > win situation.Anything can set him off and we find ourselve walking > on eggshells untill it all builds up and the whole house gets turned > upside down.It is hard to keep your mouth shut and ignore him when he > gets out of control but sometimes saying something makes it ten times > worse.What should we do.Please help!Thanks at least for letting me > I have a statement in several of my students' IEPs which I am also having added to my son's: Student's HW assignments can be reduced, rescheduled, and/or eliminated at the parents' discretion. (Student has ______ disorder (usually Asperger's or OCD, sometimes TS). Often students with this disorder expend an extraordinary amount of mental energy " holding it together " and functioning at school. These students typically fall apart at the end of the day upon returning home, making it very difficult to complete these assignment). Jeanne jwestpha@... NBCT - Exceptional Needs (2000) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2004 Report Share Posted February 1, 2004 Hi, . If this were happening to either of my daughters, my first thought would be that the OCD was acting up. My youngest daughter especially will begin to act angry and will throw fits when she is having OCD issues. His tantrums could be happening as a result of thoughts or compulsions he is having that he either feels guilty about or is unable to carry out because of limits that are being set. His problems with schoolwork could be happening for the same reason. I don't think that 50 mg of Luvox is very much--my ten year old (78 pounds) takes 100 mg plus Risperdal to help keep her calm. Maybe he needs a medication adjustment. Good luck, Kelley in NV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 Hi all, I can't thank you enough for all your great advice.The weekend wasn't to bad but back to school today is a different story.For those who were asking about the problems with school here it goes......Before the start of the school year I spoke to the principal about 's situation.He is a smart boy and even gets awards for his work but still there are those times when he is in OCD land and he might take a little longer or write sloppy(only in his copybook not when things are being graded).Anyway I had heard fourth grade was tough and his teacher even tougher so I wanted to make sure this was the right situation for him.She assured me that his teacher had delt with a lot of these situations over her 20 year career.We felt good about the new year but not for long.I have to say this teacher is the worst, even for a child who doesn't have issues.I've had a few meetings with her and she is so kind in person but from talking to other Moms I know it's not just my son having a problem with her.I have told her that when is under a lot of pressure his symptoms gets worse.She thinks because his grades are good that their is no problem.This teacher is stuck in her ways and will not budge.I want to go the principal and possibly change his class but my son is embarressed and says it will make things worse.When homework time come he has just had it.Most nights its not to bad and I try telling him I will help and we can kick it out fast.IT is pulling teeth sometimes.He will put his head under the blanket,rock back and forth on the chair,any possible distraction.It drives me crazy.I can be patient for so long and just end up saying ok we're done.He won't not do it though so 1 hour of homework can turn into three .It is truely hell.He end up with almost no time to play . I just don't know what to do.Gotta go for now.Thanks again.~~ -- In , " " <@h...> wrote: > Hi , > I just a little while ago replied to a mom who had a 4.5 yr old and > was asking about rages and possible diagnoses. He apparently gets > physical with others. > > OCD was one of the things I told her to look at. You just never know > what OCD might be setting off by not getting " its " way or by someone > else " messing it up " (as if you talk you mess it up or if you " don't " > talk, you mess it up, it's your fault...; or it needs its way, what > it must have NOW...). > > From what you described, I really don't think it's just a teen power > struggle. Of course, telling any teen " no " can set off a > mouth/temper; because, of course, they're all grown up and really > don't need mom/dad saying " no. " I do know, with my oldest son, one > of his complaints at times was that he just wanted me to listen and > NOT talk/offer advice. And he did go through a VERY bad time for a > while if he heard the word " no. " But in your situation, due to his > not even wanting mom/dad to speak at times but still your > fault...just the demands he's placing on you (if I'm reading your > note right), it makes me think " OCD " is in there somewhere. > > And it's possible that since he is under stress at school (what's > that about - amount of work, grades, just not getting the > subject....?) and his difficulties doing homework (where OCD can be > involved at times too we all know), that part of his outbursts do > just involve the great strain/stress he is feeling on him right now. > > SIGH! There are a lot of variables that can be playing into this > right now - OCD, puberty, stress, self-esteem.... > > As to what to do, I was at times at a total loss with my oldest as > to " what to do " so I have no " tried and true " answers! > > If OCD is involved, I wonder can the Luvox be " upped " at all? > Perhaps if he's under a particularly stressful time right now, it > might need to go up on dosage temporarily?? > > Do you know just what is the problem with homework (believe I asked > that above); was wondering does he let you/dad help with it?? > > Some other things putting OCD aside a little - > > I would certainly punish for the breakage of things but perhaps the > best time to talk about punishment is when everyone is calmed down > and some time has passed since the " episode. " And since he is > apparently under a lot of pressure right now, I MIGHT (guessing what > I would do) ease up on the severity of the punishment for now. > Meaning while a typical kid might get a weekend or 1 or 2 week > grounding and other things for breaking or throwing something, etc., > you might find shorter punishments limited to one day or something. > I say this just because the punishment is added pressure, anxiety, > being down on oneself.... > > I never liked my kids punching or throwing anything but if they were > to have to, I always told them " pillows " ! (and in their room!) I > got a low-priced boxing....can't think of the word...not bag but > anyway a boxing " something " for them once but I really still > didn't like the idea of their needing to hit or punch when frustrated > or upset. But it's an option when needing to let fly with emotions. > (that and hitting/throwing pillows!) > > If you can ever find what seems a good time, you might see if he'll > talk about what is going on now. And if he won't talk, just tell him > that you are concerned and worried and also that the family just > cannot continue to live with outbursts of that kind....and you might > ask (since this is supposed to be a calm, good moment to be talking > about this), what punishment he thinks he should get when certain > behaviors show up (like throwing things or really extreme mouthiness, > meaning EXtreme mouthiness). I'm not one to punish OCD itself. But > some things still cannot be tolerated/allowed. > > OK, that above from the mom who has been at a total loss for words > and how to handle her oldest during HIS teen years at times! And > with no OCD involved (besides NO one sit on HIS bed and having to > have his own toothpaste and no one read HIS special books....) in > 99.6% of the " episodes. " > > But really I did during calm times try to talk about " what punishment > for what " and so on. > > One other thought - I had to help with his homework for quite > a while due to his OCD. And little by little (over all those middle > school years) we threw more of the work his way to do. But those > times I said anything similar about just not doing it or something - > he REALLY wanted to get it done, he just REALLY could not do it - due > to OCD. So " not " doing it was not a choice for us. Perhaps there > might be some OCD involved in your situation there; though kids can > not want to do work they don't understand also. > > Well, I know I wrote too much and no real answers, but with 3 sons > I've had a lot of (a LOT of) variations on power struggles, OCD, > laziness, possible ADD, preteen years, huge tempers.... And then > there were my OWN years! <wink> > > Please keep us updated on how he/you are doing and vent here on those > awful days (but post the good stuff too!). > > > single mom, 3 sons > > > > Hi,I haven't posted in quite a while so I'll give some quick > > backround.My 9 year old son was diagnosed last spring with > > Ocd.He goes to Therapy and takes 50mg of Luvox.His bad thoughts and > > fears have almost vanished except for the occasional one which > > usually can be delt with be saying its that OCD again just boss it > > back and he does.He can even play certain video games again and > watch > > some movies that he couldn't before.The new problem is his tantrums > > (this has happened before but it just gets worse).If he doesn't get > > his way,he just freaks.Sometimes he won't even let me or his father Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 , Your situation regarding teachers and homework almost perfectly mimics our current situation. Countless were the nights that 1/2 hour of homework became a 4 hour meltdown. I wish I could offer a solution. Thus far, we've not found one, except we made accommodations with the school that for a short time our son would not be responsible for homework, just doing his best in class. This worked so-so until the other students began questioning why he never had his homework done. He is deathly afraid of anyone knowing he's " different " . As of the first of the year, we withdrew him from school and he now gets district-provided, home based education. A teacher from the school comes for 1 hour, M-Th, after regular school hours. Currently, our son can only manage to work on one subject, Math. We hope as therapy and med continues he'll be able to take on more. Even with this arrangement, we have days where he just can't do any of the work, for whatever reason. At the very least, when we do hit a stumbling point getting through the work, it doesn't turn into a major meltdown. Our son's teacher, to this very day, has zero capacity for understanding and handling the situation. Bless you and hang in there. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 Bill, Knowing about your current situation kind of made ours seem not to bad.I'm sorry your son is having such a difficult time.I just can't understand these teachers with their total lack of compassion and understanding.I thought part of being a teacher was love of children and helping them grow.I know my sons teacher uses put down and threats as part of her daily routine.Just today his teacher yelled at him several times for writing to sloppy and made him recopy work.Thank God he comes home for lunch to get a break or else I think he would snap.Well it looks like I'll be having yet another meeting with school soon.Thanks for your input.~~ - In , chambybf@y... wrote: > , > > Your situation regarding teachers and homework almost perfectly > mimics our current situation. Countless were the nights that 1/2 hour > of homework became a 4 hour meltdown. I wish I could offer a > solution. Thus far, we've not found one, except we made > accommodations with the school that for a short time our son would > not be responsible for homework, just doing his best in class. This > worked so-so until the other students began questioning why he never > had his homework done. He is deathly afraid of anyone knowing > he's " different " . As of the first of the year, we withdrew him from > school and he now gets district-provided, home based education. A > teacher from the school comes for 1 hour, M-Th, after regular school > hours. Currently, our son can only manage to work on one subject, > Math. We hope as therapy and med continues he'll be able to take on > more. Even with this arrangement, we have days where he just can't > do any of the work, for whatever reason. At the very least, when we > do hit a stumbling point getting through the work, it doesn't turn > into a major meltdown. > > Our son's teacher, to this very day, has zero capacity for > understanding and handling the situation. > > Bless you and hang in there. > > Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 Hi , I have a 6-year-old daughter with OCD and a 9-year-old son without OCD. My 9-year-old was in a terrible class situation, many issues with the teacher, multiple complaints every night. I kept suggesting that he change classrooms and he'd inssisted that we leave things alone. (Must be a fourth grade boy thing!) After Fall Break, my son was throwing up before school and developed a severe facial tic, both from stress. At this point I said: " Your body is telling you that this is the wrong teacher. Sometimes parents make decisions that are in the best interest of their child and that's what will happen here. " I spoke to the principal. He was put in a new class, with a wonderful, gentle teacher. All his symptoms went away. We still talk about the fact that I should have insisted he change classes weeks before that. So ... this is with a kid with no issues. If I were you, I'd risk some minor embarrassment and get your son out of that class. I've also had to make unpopular moves with my 6-year-old, eventually pulling her out of our public school system. It's tough, but every decision we've made has been a good one and truly benefitted our kids. Sometimes a little unpopularlity and embarrassment is worth it! Good luck. Sue in Phoenix sweetpea1229 wrote: > Hi all, I can't thank you enough for all your great advice.The > weekend wasn't to bad but back to school today is a different > story.For those who were asking about the problems with school here > it goes......Before the start of the school year I spoke to the > principal about 's situation.He is a smart boy and even gets > awards for his work but still there are those times when he is in OCD > land and he might take a little longer or write sloppy(only in his > copybook not when things are being graded).Anyway I had heard fourth > grade was tough and his teacher even tougher so I wanted to make sure > this was the right situation for him.She assured me that his teacher > had delt with a lot of these situations over her 20 year career.We > felt good about the new year but not for long.I have to say this > teacher is the worst, even for a child who doesn't have issues.I've > had a few meetings with her and she is so kind in person but from > talking to other Moms I know it's not just my son having a problem > with her.I have told her that when is under a lot of pressure > his symptoms gets worse.She thinks because his grades are good that > their is no problem.This teacher is stuck in her ways and will not > budge.I want to go the principal and possibly change his class but my > son is embarressed and says it will make things worse.When homework > time come he has just had it.Most nights its not to bad and I try > telling him I will help and we can kick it out fast.IT is pulling > teeth sometimes.He will put his head under the blanket,rock back and > forth on the chair,any possible distraction.It drives me crazy.I can > be patient for so long and just end up saying ok we're done.He won't > not do it though so 1 hour of homework can turn into three .It is > truely hell.He end up with almost no time to play . I just don't know > what to do.Gotta go for now.Thanks again.~~ > > > > -- In , " " > <@h...> wrote: > > Hi , > > I just a little while ago replied to a mom who had a 4.5 yr old and > > was asking about rages and possible diagnoses. He apparently gets > > physical with others. > > > > OCD was one of the things I told her to look at. You just never > know > > what OCD might be setting off by not getting " its " way or by > someone > > else " messing it up " (as if you talk you mess it up or if > you " don't " > > talk, you mess it up, it's your fault...; or it needs its way, what > > it must have NOW...). > > > > From what you described, I really don't think it's just a teen > power > > struggle. Of course, telling any teen " no " can set off a > > mouth/temper; because, of course, they're all grown up and really > > don't need mom/dad saying " no. " I do know, with my oldest son, one > > of his complaints at times was that he just wanted me to listen and > > NOT talk/offer advice. And he did go through a VERY bad time for a > > while if he heard the word " no. " But in your situation, due to his > > not even wanting mom/dad to speak at times but still your > > fault...just the demands he's placing on you (if I'm reading your > > note right), it makes me think " OCD " is in there somewhere. > > > > And it's possible that since he is under stress at school (what's > > that about - amount of work, grades, just not getting the > > subject....?) and his difficulties doing homework (where OCD can be > > involved at times too we all know), that part of his outbursts do > > just involve the great strain/stress he is feeling on him right > now. > > > > SIGH! There are a lot of variables that can be playing into this > > right now - OCD, puberty, stress, self-esteem.... > > > > As to what to do, I was at times at a total loss with my oldest as > > to " what to do " so I have no " tried and true " answers! > > > > If OCD is involved, I wonder can the Luvox be " upped " at all? > > Perhaps if he's under a particularly stressful time right now, it > > might need to go up on dosage temporarily?? > > > > Do you know just what is the problem with homework (believe I asked > > that above); was wondering does he let you/dad help with it?? > > > > Some other things putting OCD aside a little - > > > > I would certainly punish for the breakage of things but perhaps the > > best time to talk about punishment is when everyone is calmed down > > and some time has passed since the " episode. " And since he is > > apparently under a lot of pressure right now, I MIGHT (guessing > what > > I would do) ease up on the severity of the punishment for now. > > Meaning while a typical kid might get a weekend or 1 or 2 week > > grounding and other things for breaking or throwing something, > etc., > > you might find shorter punishments limited to one day or > something. > > I say this just because the punishment is added pressure, anxiety, > > being down on oneself.... > > > > I never liked my kids punching or throwing anything but if they > were > > to have to, I always told them " pillows " ! (and in their room!) I > > got a low-priced boxing....can't think of the word...not bag but > > anyway a boxing " something " for them once but I really still > > didn't like the idea of their needing to hit or punch when > frustrated > > or upset. But it's an option when needing to let fly with > emotions. > > (that and hitting/throwing pillows!) > > > > If you can ever find what seems a good time, you might see if he'll > > talk about what is going on now. And if he won't talk, just tell > him > > that you are concerned and worried and also that the family just > > cannot continue to live with outbursts of that kind....and you > might > > ask (since this is supposed to be a calm, good moment to be talking > > about this), what punishment he thinks he should get when certain > > behaviors show up (like throwing things or really extreme > mouthiness, > > meaning EXtreme mouthiness). I'm not one to punish OCD itself. > But > > some things still cannot be tolerated/allowed. > > > > OK, that above from the mom who has been at a total loss for words > > and how to handle her oldest during HIS teen years at times! And > > with no OCD involved (besides NO one sit on HIS bed and having to > > have his own toothpaste and no one read HIS special books....) in > > 99.6% of the " episodes. " > > > > But really I did during calm times try to talk about " what > punishment > > for what " and so on. > > > > One other thought - I had to help with his homework for > quite > > a while due to his OCD. And little by little (over all those > middle > > school years) we threw more of the work his way to do. But those > > times I said anything similar about just not doing it or something - > > > he REALLY wanted to get it done, he just REALLY could not do it - > due > > to OCD. So " not " doing it was not a choice for us. Perhaps there > > might be some OCD involved in your situation there; though kids can > > not want to do work they don't understand also. > > > > Well, I know I wrote too much and no real answers, but with 3 sons > > I've had a lot of (a LOT of) variations on power struggles, OCD, > > laziness, possible ADD, preteen years, huge tempers.... And then > > there were my OWN years! <wink> > > > > Please keep us updated on how he/you are doing and vent here on > those > > awful days (but post the good stuff too!). > > > > > > single mom, 3 sons > > > > > > > Hi,I haven't posted in quite a while so I'll give some quick > > > backround.My 9 year old son was diagnosed last spring with > > > Ocd.He goes to Therapy and takes 50mg of Luvox.His bad thoughts > and > > > fears have almost vanished except for the occasional one which > > > usually can be delt with be saying its that OCD again just boss > it > > > back and he does.He can even play certain video games again and > > watch > > > some movies that he couldn't before.The new problem is his > tantrums > > > (this has happened before but it just gets worse).If he doesn't > get > > > his way,he just freaks.Sometimes he won't even let me or his > father > > > > Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed > at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group// . > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., > Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators > are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, > Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, Kathy , Vivian Stembridge, > and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be > addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , > louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . > > > > > * Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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