Medical tourism - the real package

[Guest guest]

Chetan's web page about Medical tourism in India is, as he said, sure

to put a smile on your face. A smile of pride.

However, here is a package tour with a difference. This will also put

a smile on your face, but it will be a wry smile. Looking at the other

side of Medical India.

MEDICAL TOURISM OF INDIA - The real chills, spills and thrills!

We offer you an innovative package tour of India, in which you get to

experience first hand all the medical chills, spills and thrills that

you have always read about but never seen first hand.

CHILLING SUNDERBANS

We begin our tour with a chilling foray into the Sunderbans of Bengal.

Tourists are advised to forget taking their Chloroquin, if they want

to feel the real chills. Yellow fever and Sleeping sickness are not

guaranteed, and no claim of refund of money because you did not

contract these diseases will be entertained.

THE RICE BOWL OF INDIA

We next move southwards for the spills. Madras is called the rice bowl

of India. A typical menu consists of Lemon rice, Tamrind rice, Masala

rice, Garlic rice accompanied by Sambhar or Rasam. The menu is usually

printed on rice paper!

Rice is never served in bowls here, though we call it the rice bowl of

India. Legend has it that the first Gujju traveller to Chennai

observed the Madrasis making small balls of rice and gulping them.

Being a Gujju, who pronounces Hall as 'Hole', he called this the Rice

'Bowls'.

The best way to eat rice here is to subdivide the rice ball into sub

balls and eat them dripping with Rasam down your elbow. This will

cause you to experience the burning experience of acute urethritis due

to the spills!

THRILLING MUMBAI

Here you get a three nights stay in the Red light areas. This AIDS

capital of the world will teach you a thing or two. Anti-retro-viral

drugs are available with this package at reasonable rates.

UP AND ABOVE

We next move on to UP and Bihar. Short excursions have been planned

into the deep areas to take treatment for anything from 'Khoyi hui

Jawani' to 'Swapna Dosh aur Dhaat'. You are specially advised to lodge

a complaint with the police about these quacks. You will experience

how law and (dis) order works here when you find yourself in police

custody for filing a false complaint against this politically

connected 'Doctor Saab'. Fixed menu will be served in the jail and no

a la carte is allowed during this stint.

YEH LEH

A tour of Leh and Ladakh will have you gasping at the natural red

cheeks of the local inhabitants. You will gasp even more when you

realize that the redness is due to paucity of Oxygen.

HOT DEAL

We wind up the package with a walk barefoot on the roads of Sevagram

at 2 pm in Summer. Never again in your life will you complain that it

is quite hot! Those who suffer heat exhaustion will be giving free

rejuvenation at the JBTDRC for a nominal price of $100 extra. Ice

water enemas, however, will not be charged.

In case you survive all this, you can enquire next year about our

Slums special package. Please note that burial and cremation charges

are on a per case basis!

Kishore Shah 1974

[Guest guest]

Dear Dr.Shah,

Awesome! Your article brought laughter , more that just a

smile. Do you mean to suggest, Pune as a better place and the hub for Medicine,

as Bangalore is to software? In that case, you can be the pioneer. Kishoreda

aage badho, hum tumhare pecche hai!

Cheers!

Chetan

Shah wrote:

Chetan's web page about Medical tourism in India is, as he said, sure

to put a smile on your face. A smile of pride.

However, here is a package tour with a difference. This will also put

a smile on your face, but it will be a wry smile. Looking at the other

side of Medical India.

MEDICAL TOURISM OF INDIA - The real chills, spills and thrills!

We offer you an innovative package tour of India, in which you get to

experience first hand all the medical chills, spills and thrills that

you have always read about but never seen first hand.

CHILLING SUNDERBANS

We begin our tour with a chilling foray into the Sunderbans of Bengal.

Tourists are advised to forget taking their Chloroquin, if they want

to feel the real chills. Yellow fever and Sleeping sickness are not

guaranteed, and no claim of refund of money because you did not

contract these diseases will be entertained.

THE RICE BOWL OF INDIA

We next move southwards for the spills. Madras is called the rice bowl

of India. A typical menu consists of Lemon rice, Tamrind rice, Masala

rice, Garlic rice accompanied by Sambhar or Rasam. The menu is usually

printed on rice paper!

Rice is never served in bowls here, though we call it the rice bowl of

India. Legend has it that the first Gujju traveller to Chennai

observed the Madrasis making small balls of rice and gulping them.

Being a Gujju, who pronounces Hall as 'Hole', he called this the Rice

'Bowls'.

The best way to eat rice here is to subdivide the rice ball into sub

balls and eat them dripping with Rasam down your elbow. This will

cause you to experience the burning experience of acute urethritis due

to the spills!

THRILLING MUMBAI

Here you get a three nights stay in the Red light areas. This AIDS

capital of the world will teach you a thing or two. Anti-retro-viral

drugs are available with this package at reasonable rates.

UP AND ABOVE

We next move on to UP and Bihar. Short excursions have been planned

into the deep areas to take treatment for anything from 'Khoyi hui

Jawani' to 'Swapna Dosh aur Dhaat'. You are specially advised to lodge

a complaint with the police about these quacks. You will experience

how law and (dis) order works here when you find yourself in police

custody for filing a false complaint against this politically

connected 'Doctor Saab'. Fixed menu will be served in the jail and no

a la carte is allowed during this stint.

YEH LEH

A tour of Leh and Ladakh will have you gasping at the natural red

cheeks of the local inhabitants. You will gasp even more when you

realize that the redness is due to paucity of Oxygen.

HOT DEAL

We wind up the package with a walk barefoot on the roads of Sevagram

at 2 pm in Summer. Never again in your life will you complain that it

is quite hot! Those who suffer heat exhaustion will be giving free

rejuvenation at the JBTDRC for a nominal price of $100 extra. Ice

water enemas, however, will not be charged.

In case you survive all this, you can enquire next year about our

Slums special package. Please note that burial and cremation charges

are on a per case basis!

Kishore Shah 1974

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Website: www.mgims.org

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[Guest guest]

Dear Kishore,

The beauty in your literature is the veracity* with which you compose it.

Adoringly,

Ravin '82

*I had actually given an ice water enema to a patient during the summer -

there was no water in the taps and there was this bottle of drinking water

in the freezer compartment in the fridge (Unit 2 Surgery) to which I mixed

some soap. To those curious, the patient did not complain and neither did

anyone else :-D

[Guest guest]

Dear All,

I've been after Kishore for a couple of day now to get him into a dedicated

website of his own, where he can archive his articles...

But all I have got - blushes!

I hope he will do it someday ...

Ravin '82