A Phunny story

[Guest guest]

" Mummy! Mummy! Wake up! Pitaji Aaye hai! "

Mrs. Mani wrinkled her forehead and screwed her eyes. It was early

morning and her son was shaking her awake. " Wha ..! What? "

" Mummy! Pitaji Aaye hai! "

Mrs. Mani was now fully awake. She looked beside her. Mr. Mani was

snoring away to glory. She turned to her son and said, " Sunny, will

you shut up and go to sleep! Its too early to get up for school and

your Dad is sleeping right here. "

" No, Mummy! Pitaji has come at our door and he wants money. "

Sleep would now be impossible. She struggled with her bed clothes. Her

son had gone crazy. Who was he calling Pitaji? She pulled her night

gown together and went to the door. There slouched against the door

was the milkman. He gave a greasy smile and said, " Madam, if you could

pay a bit in advance. My son's fees ... "

" Nothing doing! " shouted Mrs. Mani. She wanted to add 'No Money from

Mani', but that would have seemed frivolous. She banged the door shut.

Then she turned to Sunny. " And you, Sunny, why are you calling him

Pitaji? "

" Mummy, I read in an email that if someone gives us milk, we should

call her Mataji. But our Bhaiyya is a man, so I called him Pitaji. But

mummy, why didn't you give him money. He wanted it for his child's

fees! "

" Fees? Huh! Most probably wants to drink a couple of pegs in the

evening! "

" Then I'll call him Peetaji, instead of Pitaji! " shouted Sunny.

" Shut up, Sunny! Go to the toilet while I prepare the breakfast. "

By the time Sunny came back, the eggs were sizzling in the pan. He

turned towards Mrs. Mani and asked, " Mummy, do I have a Muslim or a

Christian digestive system? "

Mrs. Mani gave an exasperated look and said, " Now what nonsense is

this? Everyone has the same digestive system. "

" No Mummy. This email says that you can eat eggs and stuff like that

only if you are not a Hindu! "

" Sunny are you going to eat your breakfast or should I wallop you

one? "

*** *** ***

That afternoon Sunny came back looking very dejected and sad. Mrs.

Mani was very worried. She asked him, " What happened. Were you in a

fight? "

" Yes, Mummy. "

" Then why didn't you tell the teacher? "

" Because I was fighting with her! "

" Oh my God! Sunny, you fought with your teacher! Why? "

" She tells us all lies! "

" What lies? "

" Mummy, she says that the earth and the sun were created in a big

bang, and we evolved from apes. "

" So? "

" I told her that this was false. We were created from the ear wax of

Brahma, and one day Shiva would burn all this world. "

" Sunny, do not mix religion with rational thinking! "

" Why not, Mummy! This email tells me that religion can be used to

explain everything. Only if we put in capital letters that RELIGION

should not be used, then only we should not use religion. Otherwise we

can use religion to prove everything. "

" Sunny, don't you have homework? Come on, say your evening prayers and

start studying! "

" Yes Mummy! This is exactly what that email says. You must worship

regularly. In fact, there is a great country, America, which worships

this great GOD. I am going to pray to that GOD! "

Mrs. Mani was getting more and more confused. She grabbed Sunny's ear

and said, " You blighter. America does not worship any God. It worships

only money! "

" Yes Mummy! That is the GOD I am talking about. In fact, this email

tells me that they worship this Money God so much that they have GOD

printed on each and every Dollar bill! "

Mrs. Mani had had enough. She picked up Sunny and locked him in his

study room. When Mr. Mani came home she told him, " Darling! No more

computers for Sunny. These emails are spoiling his brains! "

So that is the Phunny story of Mani and Sunny.

Kishore Shah 1974