Guest guest Posted October 9, 2007 Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 I have been married for 16 years and did not realize what I had until I was almost fired from my job and found this website for help!! As you know, my husband breathes too loud, snores and eats like a pig! I would tell him to close his mouth and all the usual stuff like, hey, you have a whistle in your nose! Sometimes he would get mad but since I found the site he gets me. But I must add that now I eat alone and watch tv by myself in the bedroom and he in the living room. This works for us. I am 50 also but if I was single now I think I would do what you are doing. Letting them know about it. I sort of live like I am alone because my husband is a massage therapist and comes and goes all day....even when he is home we are apart most of the time but it really works for us!! It may not be a traditional relationship but whatever works!! To: Soundsensitivity From: dianne.keetch@...Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2007 16:09:26 +0100Subject: Relationships.. Would anyone be willing to say what they tell people about 4s when entering into new relationships. I have had many a relationship breakup as result of 4s when I didnt know what it was. I was told by a doctor that I was just bad tempered and unreasonable, I thought I had mental health problems, so was unwilling to tell partners obviously. Mostly I would go off in mood if anyone made horrible noises so I could calm down, but of course this had a detrimental effect on my relationships. Beginning relations is difficult either I notice something straightaway that annoys me so much that I don't want to enter into a relationship with an otherwise lovely person or I start to notice habits after a short while into the relationship and go off the person completely. I am positive this has led me to remain single. I am 50 now and back on the dating scene, oooh er! Since I have known what to call this condition I have sent prospective partners ( sounds like I have a lot doesnt it? ) information about 4s and they, being at that early stage are keen to impress with their understanding and empathy, in fact some own up to finding lots of noises offputting themselves. And so the communication channels are open. I am then free to say which noise is really getting to me, or they seem more willing to negotiate with me where I want to sit and notice when someone is doing something that will get to me before I do. It definitely helps to let them in on it. But it is hard when it is them making the noises or mere movements that drive me crazy like yawning. What is your experience? Do you only pick people who don't do anything annoying, or people who are very understanding? I suspect most people have partners who are mostly understanding but it causes fights or bad feeling at times. It is still such a personal and intimate thing to tell someone that you find their habits disgusting when they are just enjoying themselves. DiannePia Levensteins <pialevensteinshotmail> wrote: Yes, you are right! Like the Sopranos, Tony's breathing....agh!Or any show really where people are eating or kissing.... To: Soundsensitivity From: dianne.keetchbtinternetDate: Tue, 9 Oct 2007 15:19:39 +0100Subject: Re: Re: Grrrrr.... Its not just advertisements is it, I have to turn off soaps, interviews and radio if anyone is eating noisily, talking with their mouth full, has noisy false teeth, lisps or clears their throat frequently. In the UK we had a Conservative Party leader who incessantly cleared his throat whilst making speeches in Parliament, the media did comment and he drove me wild, (so did his politics actually). Dianne Re: Grrrrr.... Hi DeannaI'm right with you on the Grrrr factor but for a different reason.I am unable to listen to a radio because my 4S makes the "S" sound spoken by a female voice unbearable to me. I am just trying to imagine what that commercial would sound like to me...something like Diet PepSSSSSSSSi MaXXXXXXXXX. Grrr to the nth degree. I am jumping out of my skin just thinking of it. Take careElaine>> > Just went to my car for a second and had the radio> on....has anyone heard the disgusting Diet Pepesi Max> commercial with the gulping at the end.....I want to> boycott Pepsi Products for the use of nasty> sounds....(I know I am over reacting)> > > > ________________________________________________________________________> Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell. > http://searchmarketing.yahoo.com/> Boo! Scare away worms, viruses and so much more! Try Windows Live OneCare! Try now! Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows.Yahoo! Answers - Check it out. Climb to the top of the charts! Play Star Shuffle: the word scramble challenge with star power. Play Now! Help yourself to FREE treats served up daily at the Messenger Café. Stop by today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2007 Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Dianne, I am in a relationship now but dated frequently for several years before meeting my boyfriend. I did a little bit of everything you mentioned - - I tried to choose dates with overall good manners who did not trigger me much. Bad table manners are impossible to change in a 30+ year old man, IMO, and were always a deal-breaker for me. Same with heavy breathing, chronic sniffles/throat-clearing, or other habits that are pretty much impossible to change. - If I could make it a couple of dates with minimal triggers and something came up, I'd explain my sensitivity in a lighthearted but honest way. If they made a joke of it or repeated trigger noises just to see what I would do, then they did not have the opportunity to see me again. Anyone who thinks it's funny to intentionally annoy others is not a good match for me! This sounds like a lot, but honestly in my dating life I excluded very few men just based on 4S incompatibility. I am pretty picky about who I spend time with (and don't mind being alone) so I went on a LOT of first dates that were not repeated. But I have other issues besides just 4S, and it was absolutely necessary that I find an understanding man who would accept the " whole " me. It took a while, but I have been with a great guy for nearly 2 years now, and he soooooo rarely triggers me. When he does, I say so, he stops, and that's the end of the incident. No fights, no bad feelings. The moral of my story? You have the opportunity to CHOOSE who you spend time with. Don't make your life any more difficult than it already is. Choose people who make you happy and love you for who you are, 4S and all. Don't torture yourself for no reason!! --- DIANNE KEETCH wrote: > Would anyone be willing to say what they tell people > about 4s when entering into new relationships. I > have had many a relationship breakup as result of 4s > when I didnt know what it was. I was told by a > doctor that I was just bad tempered and > unreasonable, I thought I had mental health > problems, so was unwilling to tell partners > obviously. Mostly I would go off in mood if anyone > made horrible noises so I could calm down, but of > course this had a detrimental effect on my > relationships. > Beginning relations is difficult either I notice > something straightaway that annoys me so much that I > don't want to enter into a relationship with an > otherwise lovely person or I start to notice habits > after a short while into the relationship and go off > the person completely. I am positive this has led me > to remain single. > > I am 50 now and back on the dating scene, oooh er! > Since I have known what to call this condition I > have sent prospective partners ( sounds like I have > a lot doesnt it? ) information about 4s and they, > being at that early stage are keen to impress with > their understanding and empathy, in fact some own up > to finding lots of noises offputting themselves. And > so the communication channels are open. I am then > free to say which noise is really getting to me, or > they seem more willing to negotiate with me where I > want to sit and notice when someone is doing > something that will get to me before I do. It > definitely helps to let them in on it. > But it is hard when it is them making the noises > or mere movements that drive me crazy like yawning. > > What is your experience? Do you only pick people > who don't do anything annoying, or people who are > very understanding? I suspect most people have > partners who are mostly understanding but it causes > fights or bad feeling at times. It is still such a > personal and intimate thing to tell someone that you > find their habits disgusting when they are just > enjoying themselves. > Dianne > > Pia Levensteins wrote: > Yes, you are right! Like the Sopranos, > Tony's breathing....agh! > Or any show really where people are eating or > kissing.... > > > > --------------------------------- > To: Soundsensitivity > From: dianne.keetch@... > Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2007 15:19:39 +0100 > Subject: Re: Re: Grrrrr.... > > Its not just advertisements is it, I have to > turn off soaps, interviews and radio if anyone is > eating noisily, talking with their mouth full, has > noisy false teeth, lisps or clears their throat > frequently. In the UK we had a Conservative Party > leader who incessantly cleared his throat whilst > making speeches in Parliament, the media did comment > and he drove me wild, (so did his politics > actually). Dianne > Re: Grrrrr.... > > Hi Deanna > > I'm right with you on the Grrrr factor but for a > different reason. > > I am unable to listen to a radio because my 4S makes > the " S " sound > spoken by a female voice unbearable to me. I am just > trying to > imagine what that commercial would sound like to > me...something like > Diet PepSSSSSSSSi MaXXXXXXXXX. Grrr to the nth > degree. I am jumping > out of my skin just thinking of it. > > Take care > Elaine > > > > > > > Just went to my car for a second and had the radio > > on....has anyone heard the disgusting Diet Pepesi > Max > > commercial with the gulping at the end.....I want > to > > boycott Pepsi Products for the use of nasty > > sounds....(I know I am over reacting) > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________ > ______________ > > Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you > sell. > > http://searchmarketing.yahoo.com/ > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Boo! Scare away worms, viruses and so much more! > Try Windows Live OneCare! Try now! > > > > > --------------------------------- > Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship > answers from someone who knows. > Yahoo! Answers - Check it out. > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Climb to the top of the charts! Play Star > Shuffle: the word scramble challenge with star > power. Play Now! > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows. Yahoo! Answers - Check it out. http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/?link=list & sid=396545433 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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