Re:to (mostly OT)

[Guest guest]

horsemom-@... wrote:

original article:/group/tae-bo_on/?start=2923

> I cannot imagine dealing with all of the heartbreak you have had in

your life

> but this heartbreak has also made you the special person you have

become,

> cherishing your aunt and your daughter

> So many people who never weathered such storms take alot in life for

granted

> (my sister is the Queen of making mountains out of molehills and

never

> enjoying the mountains)

> I am so thankful to have made your acquaintance here cuz folks like

you help

> me get my priorites in order in my own life.

Barb,

I am of the belief that you will not be given more than you can handle

in one lifetime. A couple of weeks before my uncle died, I remember

thinking " What if something happened to me, and Skylar was left all

alone, like I was " and I thought " Surely God wouldn't do that to me

twice in one lifetime " . Then, when I found out that my uncle had

killed himself, I thought this can't be happening....how could I have

lost two fathers in one lifetime? It's not supposed to be like that.

But, I have had a really great life, even with the tragedy that has

been mixed in. I have a wonderful family...my mom had 4 sisters and

one brother and all of them have kids that are my age...so I grew up

surrounded by cousins, who are much more like brothers and sisters. I

was very fortunate that my aunt and uncle took me and my brother in and

raised us as though we were their own. They have a son of their own,

who was 3 at the time, and they were suddenly handed a ten year old and

a fourteen year old...I'm sure it was not easy for them. I guess I

have just come to realize that bad things happen, to all of us. I know

there are people out there who don't have the love and support that I

do, and so in my ways I feel blessed. I also realize that the things

that have happened to me, have made me the person I am today...I have

learned alot.

> Barb

> who has crossed the depression tightrope and knows nobody should

carry any

> guilt or blame about a loved one's suicide cuz usually those who do

it

> successfully, do not share what is going on within them so I have

learned

> when starting to spiral downward to reach-out and grab a lifeline

I think my uncle's suicide was mostly work related...at least as far as

we can tell. He was a police officer and I think he thought they were

trying to push him out before he could retire. He always said " I've

only got 3 more years and then I can retire " . If we only knew how bad

it really was. He was a very strong, silent type. Not one person ever

saw it coming. At his memorial service, over 600 people throughout the

community showed up, so he obviously had no idea how many lives he

touched. I don't feel guilty so much, because I was not at home and

was not living with him day to day. My aunt is the one who has

tremendous guilt because she feels like she should have been able to

see that something was wrong. I try to tell her that there is no way

anyone could have known because he didn't let anyone see that there was

anything wrong, but she still feels responsible. I hope someday she

will be able to let that go. For now, I just try to be there for her,

when she needs to talk.