Re: new member and a question- sexual component

[Guest guest]

Hi,I'm new to the group as well.  This is my first posting.  I can't tell you how relieved I am to find there are other people going through what I have been going through the last 8 or 9 years of my life.  I am also really glad to read what you wrote, because I have the exact same sexual response, and I thought I was going crazy.  So it's not only women that have this response..   I have had this since I was probably 10 or 11, and the years have passed and I have been trying to suppress and ignore it.  I have no idea what it is, but it's killed me on the inside.  I've become very depressed and anxious all because of this.  I've had problems associating with people and my identity because of it, and I still do.It's terrifying when

you are just a kid, because it happens all of a sudden, and you don't know what it is.  To this day it is still just as confusing and it causes me a lot of anger and sadness.  I feel this sexual thing is the main part, or a major, major part of this syndrome (for me, this is the only problem, and it is a huge one).  It is the ONLY reason why it is difficult for me.  Without this sexual response in the first place, I would not be annoyed by the sounds at all, because I would not get that uncomfortable, violating feeling.  I didn't start to get anxious and develop phobias of these sounds, until I learned the uncomfortable feeling I get when I hear them.  This taught me to be anxious and such.   I think it really needs to be researched and discussed more.  I've read some of the archives here, and I wonder why it isn't brought up more?  Does anybody else have these feelings?  It seems like it has been brushed to the side

or ignored.As for the comments regarding youths and minors...I'm don't think that mentioning stuff like this is inappropriate at all.  It has nothing to do with "sex" or the act of sex, and I don't see it as a violating or "TMI" thing, because it seems to be a big valid part of this condition (apparently for a lot of people).   When I was 10 I wish that I found something like this, and someone mentioning the sexual thing, because I was so confused and ashamed and alone especially at that age, and I thought I was going completely insane, at such a young age.  So I don't think talking about the sexual organs is inappropriate, just like any other part of the body (hands, arms)...  However if somebody is ashamed of stuff like this, or raised to think differently, then I could see they may find it inappropriate to talk about.-NickTo: Soundsensitivity Sent: Monday, June 29, 2009 1:17:10 PMSubject: Re: new member and a question

Hi there, yes I feel exactly the same as you guys. It has made me feel ashamed for so many years (I am nearly 43).  It helps to know that I am not on my own.

Beccy

From: andra Ruiz <alexandrara@ yahoo.com>To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. comSent: Saturday, June 27, 2009 4:19:36 PMSubject: Re: new member and a question

Hi Johanna,Welcome to the group  )  I know we've talked about this in the past and I do think that many of us feel the sexual component of the 4s condition.  It's torture, I know, especially when you're family members or father make you feel this way.  It's as if your brain has taken the think that will make you feel the MOST vulnerable physically and emotionally and made simple everyday noises trigger those feelings.  It's no wonder that we feel so enraged, violated and out of control.  My therapist once told me that he felt I was living in my own "personal hell."  That's exactly how it is.  And yes, I also feel the physical sensation as if I'm actually being sexually abused.  It's very strange and very difficult for people who don't feel it to understand.  I think that most of us don't talk about this aspect because it is very uncomfortable to express and admit.  I hope you feel

comfortable talking about anything in this group.  We all may be a little nutty but everyone here is extremely kind, supportive and sensitive.Love,andra

From: johannableckman <bleckmanumich (DOT) . edu>To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. comSent: Friday, June 26, 2009 9:03:54 AMSubject: new member and a questionHi everyone,I'm sure you get this all the time, but I am so grateful to have found out that this horrible noise sensitivity I've been living with for 17 years has a name and that there are other people who suffer in the same way I do.  I am still profoundly shocked that there are other people who live just the way I do and experience the same symptoms and create similar methods of coping.  Four days ago I was 100% sure that I was the only one in the world who had this problem.  What a relief!!I have a question that, I have to admit, I'm

pretty afraid to ask because I've told so few people about this particular aspect of my 4S.  It's embarrassing.  But I really want to know if any others experience this: when I hear the noises (or see the actions) I can't tolerate (any mouth/nose noise, some consonants, and some visual stuff, too) I experience a physical sensation that makes me feel like I'm being sexually abused.  That's really the best way I can describe it.  That someone's touching me and I really, really don't want it to happen.  This is, of course, alongside the feeling of extreme anger/rage/hatred and violent thoughts.  Does this happen to anyone else?  I have spent a total of 10 years in therapy for what I now know is 4S, thinking that I was the victim of childhood sexual assault that I had repressed.  But it's not there.  I've got no memories of anything like this happening and, believe me, I have looked.  I have made tremendous

progress in therapy in other aspects of my life, but it has never been able to affect the 4S symptoms.  Thanks for reading this far, and thanks for being out there.  Nothing can rival the horrible 4S symptoms, but the feelings of isolation associated with this condition are a close second.  Johanna------------ --------- --------- ------PLEASE BE AWARE THIS IS A STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL GROUP AND NO MESSAGES ARE TO BE USED FOR ANY PURPOSE OUTSIDE OF THE YAHOO GROUP MEMBERSHIP SITE OR REPRODUCED OR COPIED AND MAILED FOR ANY PURPOSE.  ALSO DO NOT SHARE MEMBER EMAIL ADDRESSES OR NAMES WITH ANYONE.Thank you.  MJ