RE: Re: Son-Rise questions

[Guest guest]

Serena:

The link to The Option Institute's Son-Rise Program is:

http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/

Hilda

From:

Texas-Autism-Advocacy

[mailto:Texas-Autism-Advocacy ] On Behalf Of omalleyfamily1

Sent: Wednesday, May 12, 2010 10:04 PM

To: Texas-Autism-Advocacy

Subject: Re: Son-Rise questions

Thanks, . I appreciate that you can't

give me specific recommendations because you don't know my son or my goals.

It's funny, because one of the first things I read on the Autism Speaks website

after I realized that was autistic was that If you've met one autistic

child, you've met one autistic child. The more programs participates

in, the more autistic children I come to know, and the more I realize how very

true that statement is.

Because of that, I cannot imagine how anyone can come to believe that one

method could truly fit all. Going a little further, I believe that one cause

probably doesn't fit all. Like most, I believe that there are both genetic and

environmental causes - but I believe that different children are greatly affected

by different things. Haven's son may have been largely affected by vaccines

while someone else's may have been largely affected by gut issues. I believe

that my son probably had a seizure (actually two or more), although I probably

won't ever know for sure. Now, the multitude of issues that are likely to have

caused the seizure gets even more hazy. I try not to dwell on the why or how

anymore. It doesn't serve well for me to do that. All I can do is to

look at where he is RIGHT NOW and do my best to help him move forward from

there.

Like you, I've been terribly saddened by all of the infighting within the

autism community. I've seen so many factions that spend more time trying to

discredit the other gazillion factions than they do supporting their own

methods, and it's disheartening. As a parent who just started this journey in

September, I felt like all of the fighting just made me feel even more alone

and confused than if I hadn't reached out for help at all. Even within the

" traditional " therapy community, there was ugliness and finger

wagging. The ABA therapist doesn't believe in the diet and thinks that O/T is a

waste of our time. The SLP thinks that ABA is bologna, and thinks that the diet

is a joke. The neurologist thinks that the ABA, the DAN! doctor and the diet is

a waste of time and just wants to drug . It goes on and on and on.

I taught kindergarten for 10 years before staying home with , and I've

seen methods of teaching come and go. When I started, it was all about whole

language, and phonics was a bad word. Then they threw out whole language and

went " back to basics. " Then we saw sight words come in and out of

favor, with core literature curriculum peeking in for a minute. What I found

over the years was that in order to meet the varying needs of all of the

individual, different learners in my class, I'd have to pick out the best

things from every program, and use a variety of methods to teach each subject.

Only by using a variety of approaches was I able to meet the needs of every

child in my class. Some learned visually, some were tactile learners....others

were moved by rhythm and rhyme. We did everything from singing phonics chants

to writing the letters with our fingers in sand.

Anyway, that's the approach I've taken with . Something's got to work,

and I can weed out the things that aren't working along the way, while we focus

our attention on the things that are the most successful. I don't discount any

method until we've given it an honest attempt. I don't go into anything lightly

either. Before we started any diet, I had tested for issues. He has an

issue with milk, so we went cold turkey with the milk immediately (literally,

the day the results came in). Then we went on the anti-fungal and anti-bacterial,

and dialed down the sugar and yeast while I geared up and prepared to go gluten

free. Over the next couple of months, I eliminated most of the gluten, and then

set a firm date to start. I know that it's all or nothing with the gluten, so

we're all in for at least 6 months. As I mentioned before, I've been terribly

disappointed with the sugar content in many of the prepared GF/CF foods, so

I'll be working on tweeking the diet so that it's healthier and healthier

during the six months. The biggest roadblock we have to a beautifully healthy

diet is texture and 's current non verbal state. He's got huge texture

issues that he's had since infancy, and without being able to communicate with

him, there's no way to barter this food for that food or that activity. If I

could, we'd be golden. It's going to be a chore, but it's something we've got

to do. I mean, if something as " simple " (and I realize that there's

nothing truly simple about a hard core, healthy diet, but you know what I mean)

as a clean diet can make a significant difference in 's language or

social skills, how can I NOT try it? And if he makes decent progress while on a

cleaner diet, I don't see any reason why we shouldn't stay on it indefinitely.

I think that the longer he's on a good diet, the harder it will be for me to

justify junking it up again.

I have tossed aside the " guilty " feelings I had about him not being

able to have this or that. That was just stupid on my part. I adore Diet Coke,

but I have never allowed my 10 & 13 year olds to drink soda because it's

junk. I don't feel a bit sorry for them that they don't drink it, because

there's not a single redeeming quality in it. So why should I spend time

feeling sorry for because he can't have those Reeses Pieces he

discovered at Halloween, and loved so much? They're junk, plain and simple, and

knowing that he doesn't tolerate milk, it would be like feeling sorry for

someone because they can't have cigarettes anymore.

Wow....this has turned into quite the little novel. Hey, if you've made it this

far, will you be kind enough to post the website or contact information for the

Institute and/or the Start-up program you were talking about??

Thanks!

Serena

>

> Thanks Hilda for posting Growing Minds. I love when people combine

approaches as they feel best for their unique needs. I've heard about this

group but didn't recall the name.

>

> I still use ABA all day long and especially with food/dietary/biomedical

is concerned. I mean it's built into our lives and we were blessed to have

wonderful instruction and modeling from Spectrum of Hope. I know some families

who have their child in the Son-Rise room all day...meals brought to the room.

So they are finding ways to intervene nutritionally in a sonrisey way. I can't

speak for that...we didn't do that.

>

> We broke it all down using ABA. We listen to Mommy and learn to take bites.

After the meal we go to the playroom to play.

>

> Serena I think the best person to ask that question where combining the

two is appropriate can ONLY be you. I know you would love (understandably so)

for more direction in answering this question. But this is impossible for me

not knowing you, or your child or your goals for your child.

>

> Do I think it's possible to combine? Yes Could it be confusing? Maybe

>

> I think the concept of Son-Rise is great. I would love to see a little

1,2, or 3 year old catching up socially right away in a Son-Rise playroom.

However we didn't learn of S-R until our child was 5. He was biomedically doing

quite well and as I said above doing well thanks to Spectrum of Hope combined

with biomed/body ecology. However he had absolutely NO play/social skills. How

many times did I hear from ABA folks or the district " social is the

hardest. "

>

> It led me on a quest to find out why. I realized that we need to look at

why our kids are developing atypically. Why are they so interested in objects

rather than people....when we know darn well no matter how severly affected,

that they are real people...in there...and have the potential to receive love.

They are the best..the cutest...but why can't we yet connect????

>

> Once I understood that our kids take in information great where one brain

region at a time is concerned....rather than integrating brain regions needed

for higher social development I realized that ABA was simply strengthening my

son's already increased abilities in memorization, visual, detail etc.....How

could this (once severe) and now higher functioning person be able to tell me

how old I'll be in 137 years in 3 seconds at age 5....but still does not push a

dump truck or throw a ball in the back yard? Still doesn't hug me, or want to

share the world with me?

>

> Once I realized that our kids are spending less time processing multi

sensory social info and more time processing less complex non-social

education....I understood why the gap between my son and his peers was getting

wider and wider even at only age 3.

>

> As time goes on and we keep stimulating this developmental

trajectory....more and more altered patterns of interaction with the world

result in neural circuitry that supports more behaviors symptomatic of

autism...in a rapidly accelerating loop.

>

> So how to break this?

>

> We have to connect with the children so they can learn from us....REAL

people. People are dynamic, changing, and multisensory.

>

> I didn't want to reinforce looking at me. I wanted my kid to WANT to look

at me.

>

> Son-Rise did these things for me:

>

> 1. Helped me to understand how to handle the constant chaos coming in

myself. How to handle grief, fear, guilt etc...

> 2. How to set up a playroom and find volunteers or hire a team.

> 3. How to join the child to form a relationship. The child show you the

way in...so you can show them the way out.

> 4. Kids learn through play. Once you have a relationship with them...of

their own willing partcipation...you can teach them as you would any child.

> 5. Our kids need 1:1 and repetition...more time to learn...BUT THEY CAN!

> 6. Belief about a situtation affects your response. So we need to take a

look at our beliefs...this looked the most hippie bullshit to me...but truly

SAVED my home!

> 7. Attitude, attitude, attitude....matters! It really does.

>

> I am not a Son-Rise expert. However anyone is always welcome in my home.

My son is biomedically recovered, academically on level, and in the last stage

of Son-Rise. I do know other families in the Houston area with children at

various levels following the Son-Rise model who may be interested to share more

too. I mean it might be hard to watch my son in his playroom and understand how

it could apply to a child who is at say a level 2 in their social development.

>

> For example even a mainstreamed high school kid with NO aide may be at a

level 2 socially.

>

> My best reccomendation is to fundraise, or ask family to send you to the

Institute for the START-UP. Even if you never run a Son-Rise room I believe you

will bring home plenty to help you and your family continue to navigate. This

is a long journey!

>

> I hope this helps bring more insight.

>

> The best I can say is to always follow your gut. I swear it won't steer

you wrong. We all have different paths. God uses us all differently. I hate to

see the families affected pitted against each other just because we choose

different ways. We are all connected and all have the best intentions for our

kids.

>

>

> ruhesd@...

>