Re: New to group

November 26, 2003

Hi all,

Just wanted to join in and say how glad I am to have found this group.

We are having many similar issues with our 11 year old DS.

School was great last year with a terrific teacher. This year has

been frustrating to say the least. Middle School.

No Fun...It is a long story. My son is doing well in regular classes.

He is having trouble with another child in the spec ed room. His ocd

is getting worse due to the stress of the spec ed room. I am hoping

to get him out of that environment completely.

We recently started a trial of lexapro. We have tried all the ocd

meds over the last 6 years. They always seemed to cause " behavioral "

side effects. Yet we had to try again due to school stress making his

ocd a priority.

In the meantime I am starting to think about trying to get some CBT

for my son. Can anyone recommend anyone in the Phoenix area?

Thanks for this support group,

Tammy

November 27, 2003

Hi Tammy,

We use Tomi Hembree-Kigin, PhD. She's located in East Mesa near

Superstition Springs Mall. Her telephone number is 345-0817. I've been

very impressed with her and my 6-year-old (plus other kids I know who

have seen her) absolutely love her. If you want, we can talk off-line

and I'd be happy to answer any of your questions.

Sue in Phoenix

tuttleharry wrote:

> Hi all,

> Just wanted to join in and say how glad I am to have found this group.

> We are having many similar issues with our 11 year old DS.

> School was great last year with a terrific teacher. This year has

> been frustrating to say the least. Middle School.

> No Fun...It is a long story. My son is doing well in regular classes.

> He is having trouble with another child in the spec ed room. His ocd

> is getting worse due to the stress of the spec ed room. I am hoping

> to get him out of that environment completely.

> We recently started a trial of lexapro. We have tried all the ocd

> meds over the last 6 years. They always seemed to cause " behavioral "

> side effects. Yet we had to try again due to school stress making his

> ocd a priority.

> In the meantime I am starting to think about trying to get some CBT

> for my son. Can anyone recommend anyone in the Phoenix area?

> Thanks for this support group,

> Tammy

>

> *

January 25, 2004

Hi and welcome to the list. Sometimes a child with obsessions does a lot of

avoidance rather than repeated physical compulsions that are easier to see

and pick up on. Are the thoughts and ideas he gets stuck on upsetting to

him, do they cause him to not do things in order to avoid triggering them?

If so, doing the things that he has been avoiding in a controlled, step-wise

fashion can help reduce the obsessive thoughts.

I think the easiest way to manage the board emails is to set your membership

preference to " no mail " and go to the yahoo site to read, respond to and

post messages. They are all archived so no matter how much time has gone

by, you can find the ones you haven't read or the ones that deal with topics

you have a special interest in.

Again, welcome,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

> Hi, My 8 yr old son was recently diagnosed with OCD, ADD, and other

> learning disabilities. His OCD seems somewhat atypical in that he

> doesn't have any compulsions, but is more obsessive. He gets stuck

> on thought or ideas. He doesn't have any insight to his OCD. He

> can't verbalize or explain his thoughts; just that he gets stuck.

> He is on Prozac and that has been very helpful. He'll now even

> acknowledge that he has OCD, where he wouldn't previously. I am

> concerned because his lack of insight makes CBT difficult. We have

> implemented a few other strategies that his psychologist and he

> worked out and that seems to be helpful. I would appreciate any

> guidance or suggestions that you would have. I look forward to

> participating in this group. Where can I learn how to est manage

> and kkep up with this board? Until next time.

March 1, 2004

--- Laurie,

My son has the exact same obsessions as your daughter. He feels like

he has to confess everything-even silly things, but some things

disturbing like you were describing, sexual thoughts, etc. When this

first manifested itself about 3 or 4 years ago, he was afraid he

wanted to stab me-it wasn't directed at anyone else-just me. I was

horrified and didn't react too well. Didn't hide my broken heart too

well, and that was a mistake. It is such a horror, a torture to

experience this. I just could relate to what you were describing.

The Zoloft is helping my son somewhat. He is 9. This site is so

therapeutic in that it provides someone the tools to understand the

disorder as well as such a great support web of people who can

totally emphathize and relate to how hard it is. Take care and best

of luck,

W

September 17, 2008

Hi a, Im happy you joined this group. 3 of my 8 children are

autistic. A 20yr daughter,16yr son,10yr son. My 20yr lost her speech

and quit eye contact around 1yr. She always had trouble with

vaccinations. She had high fevers after and got very sick. Finally

her pediatrician had to give her doses of human gamma globulin to aid

or counter act her immuno deficiancy following vaccinations. I quit

the vaccination schedule,exempted- under advice of our Dr. My 16yr

son had a similar experience with vaccinations and had high fevers

with convulsions. I believe vaccinations played a significant part in

their autism. My 10yr son is a twin, was a preemie with a birth

weight under 2lbs. I really relate to you and share your concerns

about our children,their developement and our families relationships

and interactions when our children are autistic. Thanks for sharing

your lives. Sending you the warmth of understanding,

Tishanne

-- In AutismBehaviorProblems , a Calderon

wrote:

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> My name is a, I am a 24 year old mother of 4 kids aged 4

months (boy), 2 years (girl), 4 years (boy with ASD) and 5 years

(girl). My 4 year old son Donovan was diagnosed with Autism when he

was 25 months old. He never really spoke as a baby other than mama

and dada (with no meaning), but he didn't start to lose eye contact

or start stimming until after he had his 12 month and 18 month

vaccinations. I don't fully believe that these shots caused my son's

autism- but I know they played a role is poisoning his system. Since

his diagnosis he has made much less progress than we had hoped. The

most progress he has made is regaining eye contact, bringing things

he wants opened to us, pushing a chair to climb and get something he

wants and sometimes pushing buttons on a communicative device with

pictures to say what he wants every now and then. He is non-verbal

with no real functional communication for daily needs and desires.

We tried ABA, PECS and signing for the first year and he wouldn't

respond. He throws frequent tantrums, often for no apparent reason.

When he gets upset he will sometimes hit at me. Donovan is

affectionate though. He will come to me for hugs and kisses and

likes to be tickled. But sometimes when giving or receiving

affection, he will pinch me or grab and pull my hair all of the

sudden- when he does this, he is still smiling and does not seem to

understand that he is hurting me. I tell him " no " and I think he

understands what no is, but he continues to do this. He has recently

pulled my mom's hair and she was shocked- I never told her that he

pulled my hair because my family is already weary to be around him

because of the behaviors he exhibits. Donovan also stims all the

time. He stims by flicking his spit with his finders in front of his

eyes and especially in streams of indoor and outdoor light. When he

stims he gets so excited that he stands on his toes and you can

almost feel the excitement and energy building up in him and he says

" aaahhhhh " and other vocalizations when stimming. He also gets

" overstimulated when he stims and will go from being excited to

crying really loudly. Donovan also likes to knock things off of

tables, turn cups filled with liquid upside down, and " mess up "

things by moving them back and forth real fast under his hands. He

used to be totally infatuated with strings and would flick them in

front of his face, now he only flicks them in light and doesn't seem

to be obsessed with them anymore (which is great, he used to unbraid

the hair on his older sisters dolls, tear it out and leave it all

over the house and tear up the strings in carpet.

>

> I often think about his future and fear that my family will never

truly be comfortable around him because he requires so much attention

and tends to destroy their houses. I fear that as he gets older

that, since he is so big (he's only 4 taller than my 5 year old and

weights 49 pounds from height and stature, not fat) that his dad and

I won't be able to physically handle him like we can now, especially

during tantrums.

>

> I often hear how autistic kids tend to have an area they excel at

or have high interest in- I have yet to see what that area might be

for Donovan. I hope and pray that he will grow to be accepted by my

family and his peers, communicate with us in some way and stop his

aggressive behaviors. I have also heard that stimming is

neurodegenerative, so when he tries to stim all the time, I keep

thinking that he is ruining his brain or something by doing it.

>

> It is difficult to say the least, raising four kids that already

have health issues like sever eczema and asthma, sleeping issues,

etc. then to worry about Donovan all the time and how his future will

be is enough to really stress me out. On top of everything else, I

go to school full-time, work full-time and never seem to bet sleep.

My children's father is a tremendous help, but both of us are

exhausted and we often get discouraged at the lack of progress for

Donovan.

>

> I do not want to medicate my son. I have read how often these

stimulants and anti-depressants are medicines made for adults, but

given to children in lower doses- with no real un-biased studies of

their efficacy in children. I have also seen first hand how children

who are on medicines as kids, grow up and stop taking their medicine,

and the chemical imbalance is a sort of shock to their system and

they act out violently. And that these acts of violence or rage make

people think that " they need their medicine " when in fact their body

is going through withdrawal.

>

> I want to snap Donovan into our world naturally and soon, with out

causing so much stress on his siblings. (His tantrums make the other

kids cry and get scared>)

>

> I hope someone can relate to my situation and give me some advice

on how to help my son. I would also like to know what services your

children get through the school district and if you get daily living

skills assistance also and if so, how did you get those services.

>

> Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

>

> a Calderon

>

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information on MCI's Managed Email Content Service, visit http://

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>

September 17, 2008

Hi ,

I really understand what you are going through. My son started therapy before he was 2 and nothing really happened. The therapists and I worked with him one on one 20 -30 hours a week with ABA, PECS, speech and OT. He just didn't seem to have any idea what we wanted and would get frustrated and angry. He couldn't even do an NVI (Non Verbal Imitation). You would touch your nose and say do this and he would just look at you blankly- You would hand over hand him and give him a reward and the next time the same response!! It was so frustrating. This went on for almost a year. Then one day he looked at us and got it! He smiled touched his nose and mastered the complete program in 3 weeks. It was like a light bulb went on in his head- OH that's what you want!! After that he did much better in therapy and now he is 8 and has some language (wants,needs,some commenting), he is doing well

in a 2nd grade class with an aid. For the most part he is pretty happy. We had a lot of behavioral problems this summer but we put him on Adderall to help him concentrate, and 2.5mg of Prozac to help him calm easier. This is something I fought for a very long time but what a difference it makes for him. He doesn't want to feel so frustrated all the time and the Adderall helps him concentrate on his school work and on what we say to him. He is a much happier kid and you can tell he feels much more successful in school and at home. He even claps when the school bus pulls up!! At the end of last year he was hiding his shoes in the morning so he couldn't go to school. I guess I'm trying to say sometimes it takes a little longer to get them going but don't get to discouraged the light bulb will go on. Kellie

September 17, 2008

Hi, Kellie, this is a beautiful story of perseverance...thank yo sooooo much for sharing it with us. Way to go !!!!!! Way to go mommy!!!!!

e

Re: New to Group,_._,___

September 17, 2008

Hi ,

Thanks for sharing your story. It

does seem like and Donovan have some things in common as do we. We

are both young mothers dealing with autism. And yes, I have learned to

accept and love all my kids no matter what.

My 2 year old daughter likes to rock in a

rocking chair and likes to feel fabrics, but I’m not too worried either

because she has great eye contact, is very social, counts to twenty, says her

abc’s, responds well to everyone, but still doesn’t talk as much as

my oldest daughter did at her age. We will see how things go.

Donovan does not have too many sensory

issues. He is a good eater and is not picky when it comes to

textures. He does like to put things in his mouth and struggles to give

up the bottle at bed time. Each time we try to eliminate the bottle, the

longest time we went was 3 days with no bottle, he would spend each night

crying for 3-4 hours non-stop, hitting himself really hard in the forehead and

top of his head, kick the wall and scream all night. I regretted letting

his dad give him the bottle on that third night because although it was very

rough and the Donovan kept waking the other kids, I wish I would’ve just

kept at it because I hate that he uses the bottle at night time. I

understand their dad though because we are all so exhausted all the time and

never get sleep, so it’s one thing to have Donovan crying all night and

it’s another when he wakes up Mya (my two year old) and Devin (my 4 month

old) and three kids are crying all night, then we have to wake up early. My

hope is that my parents will keep my other three kids for like a Friday,

Saturday and Sunday and we can try to eliminate the bottle again. But my

parents are having martial issues right now so I’m not sure how soon this

will happen.

That’s awesome that he has some

words and is doing well with PECs.

My son never responded to PECS,

he would just stare at the picture he wanted, so we would hand-over-hand make

him touch it for almost a year and he never touches the picture, just

stares. Donovan goes to a developmentally disabled preschool 4 days per

week for three hours each day. He receives speech and occupational

therapy and is in a class of 3 kids with one special ed instructor and two

paras. However, I feel that my child is considered the “problem kid”

because he requires so much attention and often requires full physical

assistance to make him do things that the other two kids will do naturally

(like sit down for circle time or at the table for snack time). I really

want help on daily living skills for Donovan. His IEP goals are so basic (like

put personal belongings in cubby, attend for circle time for 15 minutes).

True, he struggles with basic tasks like this but and I would like help on how

to get more services that will actually make a greater impact on his future.

a

From:

AutismBehaviorProblems

[mailto:AutismBehaviorProblems ] On Behalf Of Tibbetts

Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2008

9:22 PM

To:

AutismBehaviorProblems

Subject: Re: New to

Group

Hello a,

My name is ,

I am a 21 year old mother of two kids aged 1 year-girl and a 2 year old boy. My

son also has Autism. Diagnosed at 18 months.My son also spoke as a very young

child (about 9 - 11 months ) saying things like mama ,baba dada, sometime with

the meaning of the word and other times just to say it. Then very suddenly

around his 1st bithday he stopped all words and we noticed how he was always in

his own little world and didn't make eye contact and was very affraid of other

people. We soon found out why. It was very hard for me still is sometimes. But

I was able to move forward and relialize that he was still the same I

have aways known and loved and I would love him no matter what. As I'm sure you

have.

Your son's symptoms sound alot like my son's

as well.... He is a stimmer. He stands on his tippy toes alot when he is

excited, he flails his arms and makes very loud vocalizations and yells as

well, he also runs back in forth when excited (while yelling ) he is very lovey

to us and he is very rough.... he does pull hair sometimes or kick also not on

purpose but we are usually able to control his aggresiveness. He is usually a

very happy boy but can throw small tantrums here and there. Those are also

usually easily nutrealized. is able to express what he needs in a very

small manner right now. does some signs.... " more " and he has

almost conqeured " all done " ,he also is doing well with the PECS system (((

goes to a developmentally disabled pre-school locally 5 days a week for

about 3 hours every morning. He recieves ABA

style teaching. He is recieving Speech, Occupational therapy, and one on one

developmental therapy.He has been going for a year in December. It is really

doing him good.))) Anyways.... hope i haven't lost you yet...haha

has just recently been giving us a few words and sounds! He said

" mama " once at school, he has also been saying " mo "

for more and using the sign as well as saying the " baba " sound ALOT

and saying it here at home and at school " bubbles " . ( jason is a big

fan of bubbles)

When it comes to our family people are just curios

and accepting but get togethers can be hard. I am very sorry to hear that your

family is not very accepting and weary of your son.My daughter..... well

she has her up and downs with him. When she was a baby she would get very

scared and cry while jason was beeing very over excited and loud but over time

she seemed to overcome it and except it. She still can get a litlle fussy

sometimes. As for how they get along... most of the time they are together and

knows she is there but does not really bother with her and other times

they will fight over something and he will try to move her and if she does not

move he will shove her causing her to cry for a good 10 minutes sometimes. But

most of the time they are nice. I do catch him holding her hand sometimes or

trying to hug her, some sort of affection so I know he must love her.

My daughter, andria, also does not talk yet she is 18

months.. I know she is still young so I'm not super worried. She does

have a few words and sounds but I think she is too lazy sometimes to

say anything. She does say " mama " , " baba " " yeah "

,and makes the " e " sound but like I said not alot

because I think she doesn't have the example from her brother

and also being lazy.I am not worried about Autism though . She makes good eye

contact and just doesn't have many syptoms. She is very curious of and

always wants to do what he is. She definitaly loves him and has grown to be understanding

of his loudness and over excitability.

My son has alot of sensory issues... what

about your son??? My jason is a very picky eater. Having a very small food

selection. All food alike in texture and color, he always wants things in his

mouth. We have chewies for him and he still sucks on a binky at nap and bed

time. throws little crums and things while eating..... he just

doesn't seem to like them I guess. haha.

I also share your feeling with not

wanting to medicate your son.. I don't think I ever will. Right now my

sons treatment seems to be working.Besides the speech improvements he has

regained eye contact and is improving motor skills and so forth. He has also

opened up more socially to other people wich I think is the biggest improvement

he has made.

I am sorry to hear about your son's treatment

not working so well. I am interested in what he is getting right now for help.

There were so many alike features in your story to mine and I really hope that

we could get to know each other well. I have been hoping to find someone with

the same struggles as myself. I wish you the best and I hope to hear from you

soon! Thanks for reading... i know it was very long

haha.

New to Group

Hi Everyone,

My name is

a, I am a 24 year old mother of 4 kids aged 4 months (boy), 2 years

(girl), 4 years (boy with ASD) and 5 years (girl). My 4 year old

son Donovan was diagnosed with Autism when he was 25 months old. He never

really spoke as a baby other than mama and dada (with no meaning), but he

didn’t start to lose eye contact or start stimming until after he had his

12 month and 18 month vaccinations. I don’t fully believe that

these shots caused my son’s autism- but I know they played a role is poisoning

his system. Since his diagnosis he has made much less progress than we

had hoped. The most progress he has made is regaining eye contact,

bringing things he wants opened to us, pushing a chair to climb and get

something he wants and sometimes pushing buttons on a communicative device with

pictures to say what he wants every now and then. He is non-verbal with

no real functional communication for daily needs and desires. We tried ABA , PECS

and signing for the first year and he wouldn’t respond. He throws

frequent tantrums, often for no apparent reason. When he gets upset he

will sometimes hit at me. Donovan is affectionate though. He will

come to me for hugs and kisses and likes to be tickled. But sometimes

when giving or receiving affection, he will pinch me or grab and pull my hair

all of the sudden- when he does this, he is still smiling and does not seem to

understand that he is hurting me. I tell him “no” and I think

he understands what no is, but he continues to do this. He has recently

pulled my mom’s hair and she was shocked- I never told her that he pulled

my hair because my family is already weary to be around him because of the

behaviors he exhibits. Donovan also stims all the time. He stims by

flicking his spit with his finders in front of his eyes and especially in

streams of indoor and outdoor light. When he stims he gets so excited

that he stands on his toes and you can almost feel the excitement and energy

building up in him and he says “aaahhhhh” and other vocalizations

when stimming. He also gets “overstimulated when he stims and will

go from being excited to crying really loudly. Donovan also likes to

knock things off of tables, turn cups filled with liquid upside down, and

“mess up” things by moving them back and forth real fast under his

hands. He used to be totally infatuated with strings and would flick them

in front of his face, now he only flicks them in light and doesn’t seem

to be obsessed with them anymore (which is great, he used to unbraid the hair

on his older sisters dolls, tear it out and leave it all over the house and

tear up the strings in carpet.

I often

think about his future and fear that my family will never truly be comfortable

around him because he requires so much attention and tends to destroy their

houses. I fear that as he gets older that, since he is so big (he’s

only 4 taller than my 5 year old and weights 49 pounds from height and stature,

not fat) that his dad and I won’t be able to physically handle him like

we can now, especially during tantrums.

I often hear

how autistic kids tend to have an area they excel at or have high interest in-

I have yet to see what that area might be for Donovan. I hope and pray

that he will grow to be accepted by my family and his peers, communicate with

us in some way and stop his aggressive behaviors. I have also heard that

stimming is neurodegenerative, so when he tries to stim all the time, I keep

thinking that he is ruining his brain or something by doing it.

It is

difficult to say the least, raising four kids that already have health issues

like sever eczema and asthma, sleeping issues, etc. then to worry about Donovan

all the time and how his future will be is enough to really stress me

out. On top of everything else, I go to school full-time, work full-time

and never seem to bet sleep. My children’s father is a tremendous

help, but both of us are exhausted and we often get discouraged at the lack of

progress for Donovan.

I do not

want to medicate my son. I have read how often these stimulants and

anti-depressants are medicines made for adults, but given to children in lower

doses- with no real un-biased studies of their efficacy in children. I

have also seen first hand how children who are on medicines as kids, grow up

and stop taking their medicine, and the chemical imbalance is a sort of shock

to their system and they act out violently. And that these acts of

violence or rage make people think that “they need their medicine”

when in fact their body is going through withdrawal.

I want to snap

Donovan into our world naturally and soon, with out causing so much stress on

his siblings. (His tantrums make the other kids cry and get scared>)

I hope

someone can relate to my situation and give me some advice on how to help my

son. I would also like to know what services your children get through

the school district and if you get daily living skills assistance also and if

so, how did you get those services.

Thanks for

taking the time to read my story.

a Calderon

______________________________________________________________________

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______________________________________________________________________

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______________________________________________________________________

September 17, 2008

Thanks for your kind words, e.

I am no longer sad that my son has Autism. In fact, his diagnosis makes

me appreciate the smaller things in life and has taught me to accept others

much more than I did before. I look forward to connecting with all of

you.

a

From:

AutismBehaviorProblems

[mailto:AutismBehaviorProblems ] On Behalf Of Two Blessings

Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2008

10:46 PM

To: AutismBehaviorProblems

Subject: Re: New to

Group

Hello...and Welcome

to the group It is a wonderful group. I have a child who is very

young yet, so I have no suggestions...other than to say welcome --- take a

look, as there are many here who have walked similar paths...we are all in this

together, and while I'm sad that so many of our children are diagnosed

with ASD, I'm so very grateful for all the mother's who have walked this path

before, and can teach me. Blessings to you...

e

New to Group

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Yahoo!

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September 17, 2008

Beautifully put, and very true for me as well.

Talk soon...

e

New to Group

Recent Activity

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New Members

Visit Your Group

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A Yahoo! Group

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Achy Joint?

Common arthritis

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September 17, 2008

Hi Stacie,

I am from Blue Springs,

Missouri, a suburb of Kansas City, Missouri.

What is SI? That must be difficult for your daughter to deal with having

ticks I hope that she has made some friends that accept her. And the

seizure disorder? It’s hard enough helping our kids deal autism but

to have other disorders, which must be very challenging for your you and your

children. I hope you have a support system in place. Do you

children speak? Do they have sensory issues?

a

From:

AutismBehaviorProblems

[mailto:AutismBehaviorProblems ] On Behalf Of hawkie6@...

Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2008

11:03 PM

To: AutismBehaviorProblems

Subject: Re: New to

Group

a,

I can relate in so much you have

said. I have 3 kids. is is almost 13, is 10 and is

5. was diagnosed with ASD in May and also SI. She also has a tick

disorder. has autism, a seizure disorder and also SI. I am

married to Jim and we live in Aurora IL. Where are you from?

Welcome to the group.

Stacie

In a message dated 9/16/2008 6:05:58 P.M.

Pacific Daylight Time, lcalderonnational (DOT) edu writes:

Hi Everyone,

My name is a, I am a 24 year old mother of 4 kids

aged 4 months (boy), 2 years (girl), 4 years (boy with ASD) and 5 years

(girl). My 4 year old son Donovan was diagnosed with Autism when he

was 25 months old. He never really spoke as a baby other than mama and

dada (with no meaning), but he didn’t start to lose eye contact or start

stimming until after he had his 12 month and 18 month vaccinations. I

don’t fully believe that these shots caused my son’s autism- but I

know they played a role is poisoning his system. Since his diagnosis he

has made much less progress than we had hoped. The most progress he has

made is regaining eye contact, bringing things he wants opened to us, pushing a

chair to climb and get something he wants and sometimes pushing buttons on a

communicative device with pictures to say what he wants every now and

then. He is non-verbal with no real functional communication for daily

needs and desires. We tried ABA,

PECS