Another relieved new one to the group

[Guest guest]

Hi, I am just so relieved and emotional about finally finding a name

for this problem and (I cannot believe this) OTHER PEOPLE who have

the same thing! I've been crying whilst reading all of this, it's

just unbelievalbe that I've been suffering with this " thing " for 30

years and always thought I was the only one who had it.

I first noticed my father's noisy eating when I was around 11/12

years old. I'm now 41, and it's affected me to the point that I

simply cannot stand to even see him eating on the other side of the

room, let alone sit at the same table with him and endure the noise.

Interestingly, another sound I react to is rubber bands - I haven't

yet found anyone else on the internet who can't stand the sound of a

rubber band.... am I alone in this weird little world of shuddering

every time I hear one ping? I have had that revulsion to rubber band

noisese for as long as I can remember, so was wondering if this is a

symptom of 4S as well.

This whole issue came to a head for me last weekend. As it's still

school holidays in Australia I decided to take my children to my

parents for a few days. As usual, I tried sitting as far away from

my father at the table as possible, and despite turning the TV on

(loudly), my mother promtply turned it off. So I had to sit through

and endure yet another round of this man making the most AWFUL noises

with the food in his mouth. I literally can't even look in his

direction whilst he's eating. I tense up, I'm anxious and stressed,

I'm rude to my children, I am screaming on the inside and I feel

revolted with his every mouthful. It's not just the actual eating

noise that gets to me - it's the whole eating process. The way he

snaps at his food, the way he talks with his mouth full of food, his

slurping of his drinks, inhaling of crumbs, everything. I am to some

degree also affected by my mother, who also talks with her mouth full

of food, but not as badly as with my father. Even if my father is in

another room and I know he is eating I am on edge. My mother also

has a very annoying habit of eating food whilst talking on the phone,

and I literally have to restrain myself from hanging up on her. I

have asked her repeatedly NOT to do this whilst we're talking on the

phone, and she is very nasty and disapproving about my requests (as

she is with most things to do with me and my life).

Last weekend things had reached breaking point with me by the second

day. I managed to eat my breakfast later than everyone else by

staying in the shower until the hot water ran out, but couldn't

escape lunch. What is horrifying to me is that my 12 year old

daughter was refusing to eat at the table with everyone else because,

as she told me later, " Grandad eats too noisily " . She actually ate

her food before lunchtime so she would have an excuse not to sit at

the table with us. My mother forced her to anyway, and she sat there

sulking the whole time. I suffered with his eating that meal time as

it was worse than usual. He was shovelling salad onto crispbreads

and they made the most AWFUL EXCRUCIATING crunching noises when he

shoved them in his mouth. It was hell.

By dinner on the second day we were all uptight. My mother was angry

with me because of my bad mood at lunch (she always says I'm ignoring

dad) and because my daughter was quiet also. By the start of dinner

my father was, as he always does, talking and eating at the same

time. I asked him if he could please stop talking with his mouth

full as it wasn't setting a good example to my youngest son. (The

kids had been joking about his bad eating manners during the

afternoon) He glared at me and said nothing. He continued

throughout the meal to talk with his mouth full of food and suddenly

I just snapped. I blurted out, " Dad! Could you please stop talking

with your mouth full! " . My mother completely lost her temper with

me, my father was furious with me, and the entire trip to my parents

was ruined by that one outburst. My mother's anger was immense, and

in front of the children she completely lost it and told me I had no

right to be picking on my " poor father " and that I was not perfect.

She then went on to scream at me that I needed psychiatric care and I

didn't deserve to be a mother to my children. She has always been

pretty antagonistic towards me, but this was a particularly vicious

attack. We didn't speak for the rest of the evening (I watched tv

with my children in my bedroom) and we left for home early the next

morning.

I came home and desperately Googled " noisy eating " as I was at my

wit's end about this problem. I realise my digust at the sound of

chewing is irrational and I am now concerned that my daughter is

exhibiting the same symptoms. I am so relieved to find out I am not

the only one in the world with this dreadful problem and am so very

very thankful to find this group.

It has affected my life to the point that I rarely eat meals with my

family - for example, I don't like to ruin Christmas by being on edge

about my father's eating, so we haven't had a Christmas with my

parents for nine years. I have resigned from a job because my boss

would eat noisily enough that I could hear him from sitting outside

his office. At times I snap at my daughter about her eating, and as

a result she now makes every effort to eat quietly at the table. I

have become sullen and uptight in relationships because of " gross "

eating noises. People eating popcorn at movies doesn't bother me, but

the sound of sniffing does, and I have many times got out of a train

carriage to avoid a noisy sniffer. Recently one poor man in

particular nearly got clobbered over the head as he sat in front of

me on the train and sniffed continuously for half an hour. I

couldn't take it anymore, the level of rage and frustration that

builds up inside me is frightening and uncontrollable.

I am so revolted and disgusted by my father's eating - why is this

so? I don't understand this condition.

Thank you for accepting me into your group,

Adrienne