Guest guest Posted December 28, 2001 Report Share Posted December 28, 2001 In this festive time I am sending herewith some of my all time favourite funny orthopaedic snippets. I am sure you will all like it. Though all are good the one I like the best is " The two ends of a humeral fracture will unite as long as they're located within the same room !!! " What's the difference between a carpenter and an orthopaedic surgeon? A carpenter knows more than one antibiotic! How do you hide a twenty-pound note from an orthopaedic surgeon? Put it in ! How do you spot the orthopaedic surgeon's car in the car park? It's the Porsche with a comic on the back shelf! What's the difference between a rhinoceros and an orthopaedic surgeon? One's thick-skinned, small-brained and charges a lot for no very good reason, the other's a rhinoceros. What do you call two orthopaedic surgeons looking at a chest X-ray? A double blind study. The definition of shifting dullness An orthopaedic ward round. Stupid Things Some Orthopaedic Surgeons Sometimes Say. " We might not make it better but we can sure make it different. " " If it's stiff make it mobile, if it's mobile make it stiff " " If you scrub twice as fast, you only have to scrub half as long " " I'd rather be lucky than good " " Nothing spoils a good result as quickly as follow-up " " This is hard enough to do when it's indicated, let alone on a case like this " " I've cut it off twice and it's still too short " " Which hammer do you use for these screws " ? " One way to make sure a humerus doesn't heal is to operate on it " " Orthopaedics is the specialty of complications " " Bleeding always stops " " The orthopaedic surgeon-Strong as an ox, and HALF as bright! " " The two ends of a humeral fracture will unite as long as they're located within the same room. " " If you've half a mind to do orthopaedics, you're over-qualified. " " The modern holistic approach to orthopaedics. You don't JUST treat the fracture, you treat the whole bone! " " An orthopod is someone who can benchpress his own weight and spell cefuroxime. " " Pass the micro adjuster nurse! " " And finally just on more little tap with the hammer and ....... " " Just think of the movement at your ankle arthrodesis site as a bonus " " Shortening can be an advantage you know, he won't run off now, he'll just circle around " " It's only a five minute operation sister " Important guides to life If it doesn't look right it probably isn't Don't eat anything bigger than your head It can always get worse Speak less and say more Get it right first time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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