*Possible* reason why we have SSS

[Guest guest]

Hi

I had a long chat with a psychologist a few weeks back and i am just

getting my head around a theory as to why i might have SSS and maybe

some of you can relate to it as well.

Here goes.....

The ingredients for this receipe are as follows:

A controlling personality.

A lack of physical contact with your parents as a child (cuddles,

kisses etc - would of liked that sort of emotional attachment but

never got it)

Shy, Quiet Personality (takes a long time to gain confidence with

people (a few months))

If you mix this all up you may get a 'fear of rejection emotion' by

that i mean your fear of rejection or getting emotionally hurt is so

high you create counter measures to ensure you never do.

So many SSS suffers have reactions to their parents, husbands, wifes

etc eating, breathing, picking habits and many of us dont seem to be

bothered too much by total strangers noises. Many say over time (a

few years) the symptoms get worse with the people they live or have

contact with daily.

Its like you reach a point where you get too close to that person and

*without you knowing it* your mind fears getting emotionally hurt.

You never feel true love - you start to create barriers to stop the

relationship getting any closer (eg losing *control* emotionally and

being left wide open to hurt), hence you protect yourself through a

clever little anti-missile device called SSS. How can we truly get

hurt if we dont allow them to get close - the SSS barrier works like

a charm.

This may explain why we get this at around 10 years old, pubity kicks

in for some or at least the changes start and the hormones make you

interested in the opposite sex and along with that comes the barrier

of not being rejected. Parents are targets for us because you dont

want to be rejected by them as you learn this new feeling (falling in

love) as you get older.

It also explains why noises dont bother us as much when you first

meet someone, the true love aspect takes a few years to develop and

when you nearly get there (without you knowing (subconsciously)) your

mind cant cope with the possible rejection or hurt it might get once

you have passed that point and so your mind creates ways of stopping

it happening and it is very good at it!

A hypothetical question:

If you were to leave your partners tomorrow, would you cope? If the

answer is " yes i think i would " or " after a month or so i will be

fine " then maybe its because you are *controlling* how far your

relationship goes without realising it, is the defence mechanism

SSS???

Sorry if this does not make any sense to you all, its very hard to

explain and i am still trying to get my head around it after 2 weeks

of thinking about it!

Anyway, its another one of those possibilities.... maybe.

Neil