Re: fat-enabler study/discussion

[Guest guest]

Welcome Mike!

This is a great group. As Steve said there are some negative people out there who like to stir the coals, but we for the most part seem to get past them and they cause minor irritation, usually no more. We all support Steve in his endeavors and I believe we learn from him and from each other. When we have down times we seem to all pitch in to pick one another up again.

Jane

[Guest guest]

>

> Welcome Mike!

> This is a great group. As Steve said there are some negative people

Thanks for the welcome!

Can you point to an actual example of what is considered " negative " on

this group? Quotes from a post or posts would be very helpful in

understanding the group dynamics. Thanks!

Mike

[Guest guest]

I missed that too.....But I think it goes with the earlier discussion we had about how we sometimes sabotage ourselves. I think our spouse may sometimes have a similar reaction of maybe not knowing the person we are becoming. I know my husband is happy with the weight I have lost (6 months=35.5 pounds!) but he catches himself wanting to buy me pies...candy...etc. And it is not that I even eat those things, or ever have. He does...and he enjoys them. I would actually rather have some cheese and chips or pretzels! lol It is almost as if he has to compensate for my losing by over eating himself. Most of the time he catches himself as I said but occasionally it slips thru. We end up giving it to the grand kids which is not really good for them either.

Jane

[Guest guest]

>

> I am curious as to why you chose the name " Plastic.Jesus163 " ??

> Does it have any type of significant meaning to you?

Sorta. It is the nickname for my laptop, which I got secondhand from a co-

worker. He had glued a plastic jesus to it as a joke. Now everyone calls

it that. KInda weird I guess, telling peolpe I gotta boot up plastic

jesus. lol.

[Guest guest]

>

> Negativity would be ones who seem to have nothing to do but put

people down.

> Negativity is not just a different opinion from others but things

that are

> hurtful and mean. That is what I refer to by negativity. Everyone is

entitled

> to a different opinion and this group generally in my experience

has not

> problem with that. We have touched lightly on a lot of topics and

there are many

> viewpoints on each topic. That is one of the reasons I appreciate

this group.

> Jane

>

Hello Jane, I've read every article and have been following Steve's

progress since he left Oceanside so long ago. I even took part in the

poll process when he asked for input. I also read the recent article .

I felt sad, when at the end his Little girl turned to her Daddy and

said she would support him 100% in what he wanted to do, And that was

including leaving her and her brother to walk around the world and

face what ever unknowns out there. Why couldn't Steve be the one

saying " I will support you 100% And do what ever it takes to take

care of you and your brother.

I came from a terrible childhood myself. An I too had to learn to

heal an process what had happen in my past. It does come down to

choice. An at this point in our lives everyday dosen't have to be

happy, happy , joy,joy. My job is high stress, an I have my good days

and bad days. I make a living . And I'm a burden to nobody. Your

sweet little girl is living her portion of her childhood now. You can

delay your journey until these kids grow up . Then if you want to

live on the Road , experience adventure. Go for it!!! Like I always

say to my daughter, I've had my say, But you don't have to do my say!

It's your life. Take care

[Guest guest]

I missed the use of the term "fat enabler" coming up. It sounds like a term from drug and alcohol abusers that someone has pulled into the obesity issue. I question whether it is applicible in most cases. The obvious ones would be where a spouse who had some emotional stake in the partner's staying fat professed to want to "help" the person diet then bought and offered unhealthy things to that person. The other example would be where a spouse or parent cooked and served the wrong kinds and proportions of food to an overweight person. In this group many of us cook for ourselves and/or our family so these examples would be less of an issue. Not sure how it would apply to Steve if at all.

W

fat-enabler study/discussion

>I joined this group after reading a in-depth study of Mr Vaught's>interaction with the members here. Looking forward to participating here.I'd like to read this study. Would you please tell me where I may find it. Who did the study? What does this group, or "Mr Vaught's interaction with members here" have to do with being a fat-enabler. Please explain.

Thanks,

erl________________________________________________________________________Try Juno Platinum for Free! Then, only $9.95/month!Unlimited Internet Access with 1GB of Email Storage.Visit http://www.juno.com/value to sign up today!

[Guest guest]

Thanks to the people who responded to my question. What I'm wondering is what the orginal author meant by what he wrote. The term "fat-enabler study/discussion" is what he used in the subject of the message and the rest of his message is quoted below. I'm wondering what he meant when he wrote it, not what it means in general. I hope everyone understands that I'm inquiring about what Mike means by this, where did he get this information? Where can I find out more about the study of the interaction with the members here. Does anyone else find this odd, that a study was done of members here?

I do appreciate the fact that you both took time to reply and to try to explain the term.

plastic.jesus163 wrote:

Hello everyone,I joined this group after reading a in-depth study of Mr Vaught'sinteraction with the members here. Looking forward to participating here.Mike LCalgary, AB

-- "labtrek1941" wrote:

I missed the use of the term "fat enabler" coming up. It sounds like a term from drug and alcohol abusers that someone has pulled into the obesity issue. I question whether it is applicible in most cases. The obvious ones would be where a spouse who had some emotional stake in the partner's staying fat professed to want to "help" the person diet then bought and offered unhealthy things to that person. The other example would be where a spouse or parent cooked and served the wrong kinds and proportions of food to an overweight person. In this group many of us cook for ourselves and/or our family so these examples would be less of an issue. Not sure how it would apply to Steve if at all.

W

fat-enabler study/discussion

>I joined this group after reading a in-depth study of Mr Vaught's>interaction with the members here. Looking forward to participating here.I'd like to read this study. Would you please tell me where I may find it. Who did the study? What does this group, or "Mr Vaught's interaction with members here" have to do with being a fat-enabler. Please explain.

Thanks,

erl

________________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Erl,

I don't know if this will help a little or not but Tuna and Jesus are the same person:

X-Yahoo-Post-IP: 24.210.124.95

X-Yahoo-Post-IP: 24.210.124.95

I believe what he is saying is that by us supporting Steve during his walk across the USA we were enabling him to stay over weight because we were not hateful and negative.

Hugs,

in Texas (TnT)

Give yourself a real pay raise. GET OUT OF DEBT!

From: thefatmanwalking_group [mailto:thefatmanwalking_group ] On Behalf Of erlSent: Sunday, September 24, 2006 8:14 PMTo: thefatmanwalking_group Subject: Re: fat-enabler study/discussion

Thanks to the people who responded to my question. What I'm wondering is what the orginal author meant by what he wrote. The term "fat-enabler study/discussion" is what he used in the subject of the message and the rest of his message is quoted below. I'm wondering what he meant when he wrote it, not what it means in general. I hope everyone understands that I'm inquiring about what Mike means by this, where did he get this information? Where can I find out more about the study of the interaction with the members here. Does anyone else find this odd, that a study was done of members here?

I do appreciate the fact that you both took time to reply and to try to explain the term.

plastic.jesus163 wrote:

Hello everyone,I joined this group after reading a in-depth study of Mr Vaught'sinteraction with the members here. Looking forward to participating here.Mike LCalgary, AB

-- "labtrek1941" <labtrek1941bellsouth (DOT) net> wrote:

I missed the use of the term "fat enabler" coming up. It sounds like a term from drug and alcohol abusers that someone has pulled into the obesity issue. I question whether it is applicible in most cases. The obvious ones would be where a spouse who had some emotional stake in the partner's staying fat professed to want to "help" the person diet then bought and offered unhealthy things to that person. The other example would be where a spouse or parent cooked and served the wrong kinds and proportions of food to an overweight person. In this group many of us cook for ourselves and/or our family so these examples would be less of an issue. Not sure how it would apply to Steve if at all.

W

fat-enabler study/discussion

>I joined this group after reading a in-depth study of Mr Vaught's>interaction with the members here. Looking forward to participating here.I'd like to read this study. Would you please tell me where I may find it. Who did the study? What does this group, or "Mr Vaught's interaction with members here" have to do with being a fat-enabler. Please explain.

Thanks,

erl________________________________________________________________________Try Juno Platinum for Free! Then, only $9.95/month!Unlimited Internet Access with 1GB of Email Storage.Visit http://www.juno.com/value to sign up today!

[Guest guest]

I guess the corollary to that theory would be that the verbally or physically abusive parent is the good parent. Not worth even going there. I am going "no mail" tomorrow morning for a week and taking a much needed visit to that mouse in Orlando. Sometimes a good dose of unreality is the best medicine.

W

fat-enabler study/discussion

>I joined this group after reading a in-depth study of Mr Vaught's>interaction with the members here. Looking forward to participating here.I'd like to read this study. Would you please tell me where I may find it. Who did the study? What does this group, or "Mr Vaught's interaction with members here" have to do with being a fat-enabler. Please explain.

Thanks,

erl________________________________________________________________________Try Juno Platinum for Free! Then, only $9.95/month!Unlimited Internet Access with 1GB of Email Storage.Visit http://www.juno.com/value to sign up today!

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi Honeybear.

>

> You know, I am sad for your childhood. Many of us came from

dysfunctional

> families. I think that is more common then " normal " ones. I myself

had a dad at

> home till I was 15. All well and good. He supported us fine most of

the time.

> And he was one of the most abusive men I know. He abused us

physically,

> emotionally, sexually, you name it. And the really sad part of it

was that I

> remember him telling me when I was about 12 that he was a sick man

and he knew

> it. So just being home is no guarantee of a good family. And support

is no

> guarantee either. There is no way I am saying any of this is true in

Steve's

> case. So many times I see the happiest families who have very little

> financially. The love they have is beyond that. What is better, a

home with love or one

> of resentment? Wives and mothers leave their children frequently to

find

> themselves. Is it better or worse when a father does it? And yet

from what I see

> Steve has not left his family. My husband worked out of town weekly

when our

> children were small. They saw him on the weekends. And they were

much happier

> then I was as a child. Because they got quality time when dad was

home. So I

> do not believe there is a right or wrong standard for a family.

What is right

> for each family is what works for that family. And unless one is

part of the

> actual family one cannot know what is right or wrong. We can only

judge by

> what is right for our own family.

> Soap box now put away. Just my humble opinion.

> Jane

>

Jane, I'm so glad that your situation worked out and your children

felt the support an Love of their Father even if he was gone from

them. It says alot about you as a person and a parent holding it

together an creating safety and security for them. I know you

understand where I was coming from and have been in that " Place " .

I know you sacrificed and worked hard for your peace of mind. Take

Care

[Guest guest]

> I joined this group after reading a in-depth study of Mr Vaught's

> interaction with the members here. Looking forward to participating

> here.

Where did you read an in-depth study of Steve's interaction with the

group? I've been a member of the group for quite a while and note that

Steve's posts to the group are pretty rare. And usually they're not

part of any kind of dialog with group members, but mostly off-hand

comments and opinions on random topics.