It's needlessly verbose, but it made me feel better to write it!

July 26, 2006

Hi Guys,

I had the worst gum clicking day. Thought I would share.

So, I am at work...working...like I always do. I 'essentially' do

export documentation. Since fines for sending out incorrect documents

are quite steep, starting at $50,000 per mistake if caught; you would

think that my office would maybe want to foster a quite work

environment. Not so much. Which brings me to the gum clicker.

TD, as I will call her, is a really, really sweet girl. She is 24, and

she is very soft spoken. We only figured this out a few months ago,

but her brother went to undergrad with me. He was only there for two

years, but we hung out quite a bit; and know a lot of the same people.

ANYWAY, TD LOVES TO CLICK HER GUM!!! Every second, every chew...from

lunch...til 5pm...every day the good Lord sends. I have bought

her...yes, I have gone to the store and purchased...for her...mints

and jolly ranchers to replace the gum in her candy dish. She is like

the dealer for our department. People come by her desk FOR GUM...and

then, I'm surrounded.

This works for about two days, and then she is back at it. What is

worse...for those two days, I have to deal with this guy in my office,

who apparently cannot tell the difference between a Porterhouse Steak

and a jolly rancher. The sounds this man makes...with a teeny tiny

piece of candy. Surely there is an award for that somewhere. Smack,

Smack, Slurp, Slurp. For the love of GOD MAN...Just spit it out. I

freakin' dying over here. He sits farther away than TD, so I can even

tolerate that over the gum clicking. She says it calms her nerves. I

find that extremely hard to believe; but whatever.

I've asked her to stop so many times; the other people in our

department are upset with me because they think I am being petty!!!

It's like a running joke now. Today was the worst though...I wasn't

sure I was going to be able to stop myself from saying something, or

worse, doing something I would regret later. The woman across from TD

has started to blow bubbles and pop her gum as well. She cant quite do

it as loudly or as consistently as TD, but it appears it is her only

goal in life to be able to. No lofty goals like understanding current

events or hygiene regimens...just gum clicking. Her method is simply

maddening. She blows a bubble, slurps it back into her mouth; then

chomps down on it to pop the little bubbles. All I kept thinking was

'What fresh hell is this?'

When I mentioned it to her today, she goes, " I wish you would stop

complaining about that. Geez, what is it with you? Do you have like an

OCD or something? " To which I replied, " I don't think you know what an

OCD is, based on that sentence. "

She, LL I will call her, stands up...and says " Come on TD, let's go

stand in her cube and click our gum 'til she goes crazy. "

Now, we are all adults, right? This woman is 40 years old! (I'm 30)

and she is getting up...to walk over to my cube. I could not

believe...could not believe that this grown woman was taunting

me...after months, months of me complaining about this.

I was thinking " this is it. This is how I am going to end up in jail.

I wonder who I can call to get me out. My friend always has cash

on hand, maybe I'll call her. Ugh...and I look horrible in orange!

I'll bet the sound of those metal cells opening and closing is really

going to annoy the hell out of me. AND I don't have any cigarettes!

Not to smoke...to trade and barter with. Isn't that what they always

do in the movies? "

So, she slivers over to my desk, and blows a bubble. My skin started

to crawl. Not only can I see her gum, obviously; I could see little

bits of spit in the corners of her mouth. I thought...surely, this

woman has a death wish. Maybe that outfit is more than just a cry for

help. Maybe she has serious problems. Maybe she should be on

medication. At that point, I really didn't care though. Crazy people

should act like they are crazy, and should come to work and be still

and quiet...and wear a little florescent green patch, in the shape of

a smiley face, on their clothes that read 'I'm crazy. I mean you no

harm.' (Apparently that suggestion is still in committee...along with

the other one I submitted requesting Mimosas for non-coffee drinkers.

Company money is company money...we should get juice or something.)

Ugh...and I have digressed, yet again. (It's an illness, but I'll save

that explanation for the ADHD support group....)

Back to LL - I said to her, as she takes a step into my cube, with her

bubble honest to goodness flapping under the AC vent...very calmly,

" LL, I should probably let you know that you are this close to me

cursing at you...I highly recommend you take your bubble and go back

to your cube. "

I guess she could tell that I was serious. Her eyes got really big and

she took about two steps back. We are not strangers. I see this woman

every day. We are usually very friendly and we usually get along just

fine.

But just so you get an idea of what we are dealing with here...LL, a

couple of months ago, asked me if I had seen Hotel Lawanda. And you

know that's true...'cause ya can't make stuff like that up! She

said...HOTEL LAWANDA. I didn't want to correct her; but I also didn't

want people over hearing our conversation thinking that I didn't know

that it was NOT Lawanda. So I said, " Hotel Lawanda...that must be on

the West Side of Rwanda. "

Back to gum chewing...LL standing in my cube this afternoon was an

intensely awkward moment for both of us. She proceeded to go back to

her desk, and didn't mention it again...Until...

Later in the afternoon, when TD starts clicking her gum like it is the

last piece of anything she will ever get to chew for the rest of her

whole entire life. LL says, and even I didn't see this one coming,

" How come TD gets to click her gum and I don't. I guess it's ok 'cause

she's black. "

As I am also black, this really, really ticked me off. I couldn't

believe she said that. Is it just me, or is it 2006??? I couldn't

believe it. How come everything has to be reduced to that?

And of all the reasons to form an alliance...to allow and

protect...no...DEMAND...the right to click gum??? I don't think that

is exactly what the Black Panthers had in mind. Don't recall any

marches dedicated to that cause.

I replied " Yeah...that's it. O.J. gets to commit murder; and TD gets

to click her gum. Those are the only 2 privileges I am comfortable

letting black people have. The catch is...you have to do either/

or...never both. "

She didn't think that was funny...but I did. How absolutely absurd!

I explained to her, that TD was adult, as was she; and I could not

MAKE either of them do anything, I could only ask nicely...and

frequently.

TD hears this, and says " I didn't know it really bothered you...THAT

MUCH. You never really got angry; you just asked me not to do it. I'll

try to be quiet. "

I'll try to be quiet...I'LL TRY TO BE QUIET?!?!

Am I new to the planet? Or, did these chicks just show up?

After this conversation, TD goes back to her desk, and resumes her

'kinder - gentler' gum clicking. I don't think I have been that angry

since my mom made me wear the stupid pumpkin costume she made for me

in 3rd grade. (You don't put a short, fat kid in a pumpkin

costume...it's just wrong!)

I have no idea what I am going to do. Clearly, I am looking for a new

job. I keep thinking that maybe this is God's way of trying to force

me to find a job in my major. Of course, it could be the devils way of

forcing me to hit one or both of them with my car in the parking lot

after work...we may never know for sure.

I don't know why it made me feel better to type this. I think I like

the fact that maybe, somewhere, someone will read it and understand

what I was feeling today. I share these things with my friends, and

they think it is 'interesting' that I cant just let this go; and that

they have to hear about it as much as the people at work. My friends

are my biggest asset. I really don't know what I would do without

them...but they just don't get it. It's not that they are insensitive;

they just don't know what it is like to experience such anger over

something so trivial...seemingly so at least.

On the same token, I don't understand why they feel the need to call

and tell me that their 2 year old said 'boo'. Clearly, she meant

'blue'...but I am not sure if that is noteworthy at 2. Maybe if she

picked out a dress and yelled...BLUE DRESS, I would be impressed...but

I don't have any kids...so I guess I just don't quite get it. What

would I do with children? What do they eat, why are they always

sticky????

Blah, Blah, Blah...I just thought I would share.

If anyone has any suggestions, I would LOVE to hear them. I cant move

to a different section because we are all working on the same account,

and 'must' according to my manager, be in the same section. She is

also an evil gum chewer, though rarely a clicker, so I didn't expect

her to be sympathetic.

That is all for now!

Shon K!

July 26, 2006

Holy smokes this was the funniest post ever. Had I been drinking

milk, it would have surely come out through my nose...which would have

grossed ALL of you out, I know it. Shon, you done good by writing all

that. I am someone, somewhere who TOTALLY gets every thing you

say...even the sticky baby thing. That's why I love this group...they

get it in a way nobody else does.

-inblognita

PS: I LOVED Hotel Lawanda.

July 27, 2006

" She, LL I will call her, stands up...and says 'Come on TD, let's go

stand in her cube and click our gum 'til she goes crazy.' "

It's not paranoia when they really ARE doing it on purpose, LOL, but

that highlights one of my fears/suspicions if I try to ask someone

nicely and kindly if they would please not mind cracking gum... I'm

afraid they really WILL do it on purpose, just to drive me nuts. (I

swear that some of my classmates in high school did it on purpose to

annoy me.) I empathized with your post so much, I felt that whole

frustration/tears/anger thing and wanted to punch LL for you!

Your comment about how you would think your employer would want a

quiet environment reminded me of French class, where the girl behind

me was one of those with the constant softball-sized wad of gum going

smack smack smack, sounding like an army platoon marching through

mud. I would write notes to the French teacher on the bottoms of my

tests saying that in a foreign language class it seemed that gum

shouldn't be allowed since it keeps students from getting the accents

right. Didn't work, and the teacher was rigid about sitting us

alphabetically so I was there for the full 10 months of class.

For suggestions - one of those clock radios with the sleep feature

that plays white noise might help dull the clicking, especially if

you can plug headphones into it. Fans can sometimes provide some

nice white noise too. It won't make it go away completely, but might

help you keep it in the background.

>

> Hi Guys,

>

> I had the worst gum clicking day. Thought I would share.

>

> So, I am at work...working...like I always do. I 'essentially' do

> export documentation. Since fines for sending out incorrect

documents

> are quite steep, starting at $50,000 per mistake if caught; you

would

> think that my office would maybe want to foster a quite work

> environment. Not so much. Which brings me to the gum clicker.

>

> TD, as I will call her, is a really, really sweet girl. She is 24,

and

> she is very soft spoken. We only figured this out a few months ago,

> but her brother went to undergrad with me. He was only there for two

> years, but we hung out quite a bit; and know a lot of the same

people.

> ANYWAY, TD LOVES TO CLICK HER GUM!!! Every second, every chew...from

> lunch...til 5pm...every day the good Lord sends. I have bought

> her...yes, I have gone to the store and purchased...for her...mints

> and jolly ranchers to replace the gum in her candy dish. She is like

> the dealer for our department. People come by her desk FOR GUM...and

> then, I'm surrounded.

>

> This works for about two days, and then she is back at it. What is

> worse...for those two days, I have to deal with this guy in my

office,

> who apparently cannot tell the difference between a Porterhouse

Steak

> and a jolly rancher. The sounds this man makes...with a teeny tiny

> piece of candy. Surely there is an award for that somewhere. Smack,

> Smack, Slurp, Slurp. For the love of GOD MAN...Just spit it out. I

> freakin' dying over here. He sits farther away than TD, so I can

even

> tolerate that over the gum clicking. She says it calms her nerves.

I

> find that extremely hard to believe; but whatever.

>

> I've asked her to stop so many times; the other people in our

> department are upset with me because they think I am being petty!!!

> It's like a running joke now. Today was the worst though...I wasn't

> sure I was going to be able to stop myself from saying something, or

> worse, doing something I would regret later. The woman across from

TD

> has started to blow bubbles and pop her gum as well. She cant quite

do

> it as loudly or as consistently as TD, but it appears it is her only

> goal in life to be able to. No lofty goals like understanding

current

> events or hygiene regimens...just gum clicking. Her method is

simply

> maddening. She blows a bubble, slurps it back into her mouth; then

> chomps down on it to pop the little bubbles. All I kept thinking was

> 'What fresh hell is this?'

>

> When I mentioned it to her today, she goes, " I wish you would stop

> complaining about that. Geez, what is it with you? Do you have like

an

> OCD or something? " To which I replied, " I don't think you know what

an

> OCD is, based on that sentence. "

>

> She, LL I will call her, stands up...and says " Come on TD, let's go

> stand in her cube and click our gum 'til she goes crazy. "

>

> Now, we are all adults, right? This woman is 40 years old! (I'm 30)

> and she is getting up...to walk over to my cube. I could not

> believe...could not believe that this grown woman was taunting

> me...after months, months of me complaining about this.

>

> I was thinking " this is it. This is how I am going to end up in

jail.

> I wonder who I can call to get me out. My friend always has

cash

> on hand, maybe I'll call her. Ugh...and I look horrible in orange!

> I'll bet the sound of those metal cells opening and closing is

really

> going to annoy the hell out of me. AND I don't have any cigarettes!

> Not to smoke...to trade and barter with. Isn't that what they always

> do in the movies? "

>

> So, she slivers over to my desk, and blows a bubble. My skin started

> to crawl. Not only can I see her gum, obviously; I could see little

> bits of spit in the corners of her mouth. I thought...surely, this

> woman has a death wish. Maybe that outfit is more than just a cry

for

> help. Maybe she has serious problems. Maybe she should be on

> medication. At that point, I really didn't care though. Crazy people

> should act like they are crazy, and should come to work and be still

> and quiet...and wear a little florescent green patch, in the shape

of

> a smiley face, on their clothes that read 'I'm crazy. I mean you no

> harm.' (Apparently that suggestion is still in committee...along

with

> the other one I submitted requesting Mimosas for non-coffee

drinkers.

> Company money is company money...we should get juice or

something.)

>

> Ugh...and I have digressed, yet again. (It's an illness, but I'll

save

> that explanation for the ADHD support group....)

>

> Back to LL - I said to her, as she takes a step into my cube, with

her

> bubble honest to goodness flapping under the AC vent...very calmly,

> " LL, I should probably let you know that you are this close to me

> cursing at you...I highly recommend you take your bubble and go back

> to your cube. "

>

> I guess she could tell that I was serious. Her eyes got really big

and

> she took about two steps back. We are not strangers. I see this

woman

> every day. We are usually very friendly and we usually get along

just

> fine.

>

> But just so you get an idea of what we are dealing with here...LL, a

> couple of months ago, asked me if I had seen Hotel Lawanda. And you

> know that's true...'cause ya can't make stuff like that up! She

> said...HOTEL LAWANDA. I didn't want to correct her; but I also

didn't

> want people over hearing our conversation thinking that I didn't

know

> that it was NOT Lawanda. So I said, " Hotel Lawanda...that must be on

> the West Side of Rwanda. "

>

> Back to gum chewing...LL standing in my cube this afternoon was an

> intensely awkward moment for both of us. She proceeded to go back to

> her desk, and didn't mention it again...Until...

>

> Later in the afternoon, when TD starts clicking her gum like it is

the

> last piece of anything she will ever get to chew for the rest of her

> whole entire life. LL says, and even I didn't see this one coming,

> " How come TD gets to click her gum and I don't. I guess it's

ok 'cause

> she's black. "

>

> As I am also black, this really, really ticked me off. I couldn't

> believe she said that. Is it just me, or is it 2006??? I couldn't

> believe it. How come everything has to be reduced to that?

>

> And of all the reasons to form an alliance...to allow and

> protect...no...DEMAND...the right to click gum??? I don't think that

> is exactly what the Black Panthers had in mind. Don't recall any

> marches dedicated to that cause.

>

> I replied " Yeah...that's it. O.J. gets to commit murder; and TD gets

> to click her gum. Those are the only 2 privileges I am comfortable

> letting black people have. The catch is...you have to do either/

> or...never both. "

>

> She didn't think that was funny...but I did. How absolutely absurd!

>

> I explained to her, that TD was adult, as was she; and I could not

> MAKE either of them do anything, I could only ask nicely...and

> frequently.

>

> TD hears this, and says " I didn't know it really bothered you...THAT

> MUCH. You never really got angry; you just asked me not to do it.

I'll

> try to be quiet. "

>

> I'll try to be quiet...I'LL TRY TO BE QUIET?!?!

>

> Am I new to the planet? Or, did these chicks just show up?

>

> After this conversation, TD goes back to her desk, and resumes her

> 'kinder - gentler' gum clicking. I don't think I have been that

angry

> since my mom made me wear the stupid pumpkin costume she made for me

> in 3rd grade. (You don't put a short, fat kid in a pumpkin

> costume...it's just wrong!)

>

> I have no idea what I am going to do. Clearly, I am looking for a

new

> job. I keep thinking that maybe this is God's way of trying to force

> me to find a job in my major. Of course, it could be the devils way

of

> forcing me to hit one or both of them with my car in the parking lot

> after work...we may never know for sure.

>

> I don't know why it made me feel better to type this. I think I like

> the fact that maybe, somewhere, someone will read it and understand

> what I was feeling today. I share these things with my friends, and

> they think it is 'interesting' that I cant just let this go; and

that

> they have to hear about it as much as the people at work. My friends

> are my biggest asset. I really don't know what I would do without

> them...but they just don't get it. It's not that they are

insensitive;

> they just don't know what it is like to experience such anger over

> something so trivial...seemingly so at least.

>

> On the same token, I don't understand why they feel the need to call

> and tell me that their 2 year old said 'boo'. Clearly, she meant

> 'blue'...but I am not sure if that is noteworthy at 2. Maybe if she

> picked out a dress and yelled...BLUE DRESS, I would be

impressed...but

> I don't have any kids...so I guess I just don't quite get it. What

> would I do with children? What do they eat, why are they always

> sticky????

>

> Blah, Blah, Blah...I just thought I would share.

> If anyone has any suggestions, I would LOVE to hear them. I cant

move

> to a different section because we are all working on the same

account,

> and 'must' according to my manager, be in the same section. She is

> also an evil gum chewer, though rarely a clicker, so I didn't expect

> her to be sympathetic.

>

> That is all for now!

> Shon K!

>

July 27, 2006

WOW!!! A fan! BRILLIANT!!! I am home for lunch, but I taking my

sandwich to the car so I can stop by CVS to find one of those little desk fans

before lunch is over!! See....that is why I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! I would have never

thought of that!!! Between a fan, my clock radio, and the copiers going on and

off...It just might work!

Awesome Smawesome!!!! YOU GUYS R-O-C-K!!! IN STEREO AND SURROUND

SOUND!!!!!

Gotta go!

From:

Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On

Behalf Of maryjanefrombuffalo

Sent: Thursday, July 27, 2006 12:28 PM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Re: It's needlessly verbose, but it made me

feel better to write it!

" She, LL I will call her, stands up...and

says 'Come on TD, let's go