My step sister

[Guest guest]

, I am terribly sorry for your loss. It's hard to lose someone when

you believe that they could have been saved, or even around for a little

longer. My mother made some bad choices in the end as well -- she wouldn't

consider my offer to be a live donor (I don't even know if we matched), and

she wouldn't go to her August appointment with the director of the

transplant group at the university. One of her other doctors had done an

ultrasound, and she refused to go to the appointment until she had the

report in hand. Had she gone, she would likely have been put on the

transplant list (because her lungs had started filling with fluid and she

was going downhill surprisingly quickly). As it turned out, we had to

reschedule twice because she was in the hospital, and she died before

getting to that appointment. But that was my mother -- she did things in

her own, stubborn, bullheaded way. It didn't matter how much we yelled,

badgered, cajoled, teased, or tried to persuade her to do something

differently.

I try to look at it as this was her life, and she was entitled to make these

choices, even if they were not the best ones. Just as we all are.

I'm glad to hear that your step-sister had a peaceful passing. I hope that

you find some comfort in your memories of her, and I hope that you feel her

now pain-free spirit all around you.