Re: Update on my brother Timmy

[Guest guest]

Thank you Jill.  I don't know quite how to respond to that other than any glory

should go to the Lord Jesus.  Without Him, I am nothing.

Love and hugs......

Diane

Update on my brother Timmy

Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my brother. I

took my mother in to see him today and before we made it into his room, they

took us into " the conference room " .

In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs are a mess,

kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest setting on the vent to the

highest setting - all of this happened overnight.

My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way home, my

mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in agreement that we need to

start comfort care... we can't handle the thought of him suffering. I called my

SIL and asked her to come to my mother's house so we could all discuss this...

and the bottom line after much crying and talking... she said needed time. Which

I totally understand, but at the same time I don't want my brother to suffer

needlessly.

But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him when he dies. I

really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to my husband about this - he

lost his dad to lung cancer when he was 19... his entire family was there when

his dad passed. He said that he thought I would regret not being there for my

brother if I feel so strongly about it. I just think SOMEONE needs to be with

him when he passes... is this wrong? Have any of you had to make this choice?

How did your families handle this? Did you keep your distance or did you make

sure you were in the room the entire time? Does anyone know what to expect? I

don't want to watch him struggling for breath when they take the vent off him...

this would just be devestating.

I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be bummer to all of

you. But I really feel a connection here and I know you'll all be totally honest

with me. Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Still needing the prayers...

Lori

[Guest guest]

good morning my friends, wow alot happens here while i am

sleeping.lori i am holding timmy and you all up high to jesus love,

be with him if you can ,know we are all right there with you, i am so

sad for you i know what its like to lose your only brother as i to

have been thru that life experience as well. i have no doubt cheif

will be there waiting to show him around the place and show him the

ropes,but i pray he has a comfortable peaceful journey to the other

side.i pray god gives you the strenghth to be by his side holding his

hand telling him its ok to go and recieve his new body and be

painfree and walk with jesus,listen to diane she has the wisdom to

put it all in words its a gift from god i am sure.know i am with you

in spirit on this difficult part of timmys journey, be as strong as

you can for him honey,we will be right here waiting for you, lifting

you up ,and just holding you dear to our hearts, we all love you and

timmy ,i am expecially thinking of your momma ,hold her up lori this

is all going to be very rough on her i have watched my momma see 2 of

her children off to heaven and its devastating to watch,so be there

for her to honey,god gives us strenghth like youve never saw in times

like these,lean on him he wont let you down.i am praying for all of

you love stay strong stay focused, and by all means do what ever it

takes to do what you must live with afterwards, make sure you have no

regrets.god bless you all. all my love respect and prayers barby---

In livercirrhosissupport , Jill

wrote:

>

> well.....I have time right now. Here goes. we went up to mom's

grave about a month after we buried her cremains  in my grandmother's

grave. It's about a 2 hour drive from here and we were listening to

the radio in the car--it was a top 40 station.  We get to the grave

and visit mom for awhile. I, of course was in tears. We get back in

the car and Ed starts it up.....and polka music is playing on the

radio.........polka music stays on the radio.         My mother LOVED

polka music.It gave me such comfort.  I just knew she was speaking to

me.   Has anyone else had an experience like that?

>

>

>                                        

>                                     Love,Jill

>  

> We don't remember days, we remember moments.

> Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that

take our breath away.

>

>

>

> From: mrsrcrxcomcast (DOT) net <mrsrcrxcomcast (DOT) net>

> Subject: Re: Update on my brother Timmy

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Date: Friday, November 7, 2008, 8:46 PM

>

> Pamela:

>

> My brother sounds very much like your mom. He was always worried

about everyone else. He would hate to think that we were all

suffering right now because of him. (and knowing him, he'd wait until

I got my makeup on as well :-)

>

> My SIL can not and will not be with him when he passes. She can't

even bring herself to be in the room with him now. I really need to

be with him though. But I'm afraid. My husband asked if I wanted him

there, but I think he needs to be home with our girls (12 and 7). I'm

not afraid to do this alone... I'm just afraid... period.

>

> Lori

>

> ------------ -- Original message ------------ --

> From: " Pamela on " <ohana5mtaonline (DOT) net>

> Lori,

>

> I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.

>

> Did your sil say why she didn't want anyone with him when he

passed? Does she want to be alone with him then? Or what?

>

> I was told by Hospice that you die like you lived. My mom was a

very quiet, backgrounds kind of gal, who never put herself first. She

died that same way. Even waited until I finished my shower and

putting my make up on before she died. I noticed the fish breaths

(where the chin makes rapid movements, although they were subtle) it

was only about 30seconds later that she was gone. It was very quiet

and very soft. She was not on a vent but had slipped into a coma a

few days prior to death.

>

> I know it is different for everyone. Ask the nurse what might

happen, so you can be more prepared. Ask specific questions if you

have them. If you are concerned about sounds, or struggles, be honest

and open and maybe she can clarify things for you. Hospice nurses are

GREAT at answering these kinds of questions.

>

> I asked each of my family members whether they wanted to be in the

room during, or just after, or not at all..and praise God we were

able to each do what we needed to do.

>

> I will be praying that your Timmy has a peaceful passing and that

everyone's needs are met as he journeys to the gates of Heaven.

>

> Big Hugs dear one!!

>

> Love,

> Pamela

>

> Update on my brother Timmy

>

> Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my

brother. I took my mother in to see him today and before we made it

into his room, they took us into " the conference room " .

>

> In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs

are a mess, kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest

setting on the vent to the highest setting - all of this happened

overnight.

>

> My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way

home, my mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in

agreement that we need to start comfort care... we can't handle the

thought of him suffering. I called my SIL and asked her to come to my

mother's house so we could all discuss this... and the bottom line

after much crying and talking... she said needed time. Which I

totally understand, but at the same time I don't want my brother to

suffer needlessly.

>

> But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him

when he dies. I really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to

my husband about this - he lost his dad to lung cancer when he was

19... his entire family was there when his dad passed. He said that

he thought I would regret not being there for my brother if I feel so

strongly about it. I just think SOMEONE needs to be with him when he

passes... is this wrong? Have any of you had to make this choice? How

did your families handle this? Did you keep your distance or did you

make sure you were in the room the entire time? Does anyone know what

to expect? I don't want to watch him struggling for breath when they

take the vent off him... this would just be devestating.

>

> I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be

bummer to all of you. But I really feel a connection here and I know

you'll all be totally honest with me. Any advice you can provide

would be greatly appreciated.

>

> Still needing the prayers...

> Lori

>

>

[Guest guest]

OH my gosh! Well that just gave me chills. MY mom's name is Thelma!!

                                       

                                    Love,Jill

 

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our

breath away.

From: mrsrcrxcomcast (DOT) net <mrsrcrxcomcast (DOT) net>

Subject: Re: Update on my brother Timmy

To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

Date: Friday, November 7, 2008, 8:46 PM

Pamela:

My brother sounds very much like your mom. He was always worried about everyone

else. He would hate to think that we were all suffering right now because of

him. (and knowing him, he'd wait until I got my makeup on as well :-)

My SIL can not and will not be with him when he passes. She can't even bring

herself to be in the room with him now. I really need to be with him though. But

I'm afraid. My husband asked if I wanted him there, but I think he needs to be

home with our girls (12 and 7). I'm not afraid to do this alone... I'm just

afraid... period.

Lori

------------ -- Original message ------------ --

From: " Pamela on " <ohana5mtaonline (DOT) net>

Lori,

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.

Did your sil say why she didn't want anyone with him when he passed? Does she

want to be alone with him then? Or what?

I was told by Hospice that you die like you lived. My mom was a very quiet,

backgrounds kind of gal, who never put herself first. She died that same way.

Even waited until I finished my shower and putting my make up on before she

died. I noticed the fish breaths (where the chin makes rapid movements, although

they were subtle) it was only about 30seconds later that she was gone. It was

very quiet and very soft. She was not on a vent but had slipped into a coma a

few days prior to death.

I know it is different for everyone. Ask the nurse what might happen, so you can

be more prepared. Ask specific questions if you have them. If you are concerned

about sounds, or struggles, be honest and open and maybe she can clarify things

for you. Hospice nurses are GREAT at answering these kinds of questions.

I asked each of my family members whether they wanted to be in the room during,

or just after, or not at all..and praise God we were able to each do what we

needed to do.

I will be praying that your Timmy has a peaceful passing and that everyone's

needs are met as he journeys to the gates of Heaven.

Big Hugs dear one!!

Love,

Pamela

Update on my brother Timmy

Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my brother. I

took my mother in to see him today and before we made it into his room, they

took us into " the conference room " .

In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs are a mess,

kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest setting on the vent to the

highest setting - all of this happened overnight.

My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way home, my

mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in agreement that we need to

start comfort care... we can't handle the thought of him suffering. I called my

SIL and asked her to come to my mother's house so we could all discuss this...

and the bottom line after much crying and talking... she said needed time. Which

I totally understand, but at the same time I don't want my brother to suffer

needlessly.

But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him when he dies. I

really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to my husband about this - he

lost his dad to lung cancer when he was 19... his entire family was there when

his dad passed. He said that he thought I would regret not being there for my

brother if I feel so strongly about it. I just think SOMEONE needs to be with

him when he passes... is this wrong? Have any of you had to make this choice?

How did your families handle this? Did you keep your distance or did you make

sure you were in the room the entire time? Does anyone know what to expect? I

don't want to watch him struggling for breath when they take the vent off him...

this would just be devestating.

I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be bummer to all of

you. But I really feel a connection here and I know you'll all be totally honest

with me. Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Still needing the prayers...

Lori

[Guest guest]

Are you kidding?!  That is just too much!  Well, our Thelmas are up there now

having the time of their lives!  Do you suppose they've been up there waiting

for us to find each other?!  The Lord never ceases to amaze me!

Hugs............

Diane

Update on my brother Timmy

Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my brother. I

took my mother in to see him today and before we made it into his room, they

took us into " the conference room " .

In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs are a mess,

kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest setting on the vent to the

highest setting - all of this happened overnight.

My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way home, my

mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in agreement that we need to

start comfort care... we can't handle the thought of him suffering. I called my

SIL and asked her to come to my mother's house so we could all discuss this...

and the bottom line after much crying and talking... she said needed time. Which

I totally understand, but at the same time I don't want my brother to suffer

needlessly.

But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him when he dies. I

really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to my husband about this - he

lost his dad to lung cancer when he was 19... his entire family was there when

his dad passed. He said that he thought I would regret not being there for my

brother if I feel so strongly about it. I just think SOMEONE needs to be with

him when he passes... is this wrong? Have any of you had to make this choice?

How did your families handle this? Did you keep your distance or did you make

sure you were in the room the entire time? Does anyone know what to expect? I

don't want to watch him struggling for breath when they take the vent off him...

this would just be devestating.

I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be bummer to all of

you. But I really feel a connection here and I know you'll all be totally honest

with me. Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Still needing the prayers...

Lori

[Guest guest]

Maybe so !  They'll have fun watching us get to know each other. I'm from Ohio.

Where do you live?

                                       

                                    Love,Jill

 

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our

breath away.

From: mrsrcrxcomcast (DOT) net <mrsrcrxcomcast (DOT) net>

Subject: Re: Update on my brother Timmy

To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

Date: Friday, November 7, 2008, 8:46 PM

Pamela:

My brother sounds very much like your mom. He was always worried about everyone

else. He would hate to think that we were all suffering right now because of

him. (and knowing him, he'd wait until I got my makeup on as well :-)

My SIL can not and will not be with him when he passes. She can't even bring

herself to be in the room with him now. I really need to be with him though. But

I'm afraid. My husband asked if I wanted him there, but I think he needs to be

home with our girls (12 and 7). I'm not afraid to do this alone... I'm just

afraid... period.

Lori

------------ -- Original message ------------ --

From: " Pamela on " <ohana5mtaonline (DOT) net>

Lori,

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.

Did your sil say why she didn't want anyone with him when he passed? Does she

want to be alone with him then? Or what?

I was told by Hospice that you die like you lived. My mom was a very quiet,

backgrounds kind of gal, who never put herself first. She died that same way.

Even waited until I finished my shower and putting my make up on before she

died. I noticed the fish breaths (where the chin makes rapid movements, although

they were subtle) it was only about 30seconds later that she was gone. It was

very quiet and very soft. She was not on a vent but had slipped into a coma a

few days prior to death.

I know it is different for everyone. Ask the nurse what might happen, so you can

be more prepared. Ask specific questions if you have them. If you are concerned

about sounds, or struggles, be honest and open and maybe she can clarify things

for you. Hospice nurses are GREAT at answering these kinds of questions.

I asked each of my family members whether they wanted to be in the room during,

or just after, or not at all..and praise God we were able to each do what we

needed to do.

I will be praying that your Timmy has a peaceful passing and that everyone's

needs are met as he journeys to the gates of Heaven.

Big Hugs dear one!!

Love,

Pamela

Update on my brother Timmy

Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my brother. I

took my mother in to see him today and before we made it into his room, they

took us into " the conference room " .

In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs are a mess,

kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest setting on the vent to the

highest setting - all of this happened overnight.

My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way home, my

mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in agreement that we need to

start comfort care... we can't handle the thought of him suffering. I called my

SIL and asked her to come to my mother's house so we could all discuss this...

and the bottom line after much crying and talking... she said needed time. Which

I totally understand, but at the same time I don't want my brother to suffer

needlessly.

But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him when he dies. I

really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to my husband about this - he

lost his dad to lung cancer when he was 19... his entire family was there when

his dad passed. He said that he thought I would regret not being there for my

brother if I feel so strongly about it. I just think SOMEONE needs to be with

him when he passes... is this wrong? Have any of you had to make this choice?

How did your families handle this? Did you keep your distance or did you make

sure you were in the room the entire time? Does anyone know what to expect? I

don't want to watch him struggling for breath when they take the vent off him...

this would just be devestating.

I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be bummer to all of

you. But I really feel a connection here and I know you'll all be totally honest

with me. Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Still needing the prayers...

Lori

[Guest guest]

Lori, the last time I was in the hospital, in September, I had my dvd player

with me. I was reading a book when I heard the song " He has the whole

world in his hands " I felt warmth going down between me and the recliner I

was sitting in and could feel God almost lifting me up out of that chair.

Do you have a cd/dvd player you could put in his room and play some of his

favorite music, uplifting music? I know from experience with my nephew that

people who are in a coma can still hear. When we talked to him about

certain things, and prayed around his bed, his monitors changed. Jan H

> It's a comforting picture I will carry with me... that God has my

> brother in His arms. I'd like to hold on to that mental picture through the

> tough times that are coming.

>

> Hugs,

> Lori

>

> --------- Update on my brother Timmy

>

> Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my brother.

> I took my mother in to see him today and before we made it into his room,

> they took us into " the conference room " .

>

> In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs are a

> mess, kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest setting on the

> vent to the highest setting - all of this happened overnight.

>

> My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way home, my

> mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in agreement that we need

> to start comfort care... we can't handle the thought of him suffering. I

> called my SIL and asked her to come to my mother's house so we could all

> discuss this... and the bottom line after much crying and talking... she

> said needed time. Which I totally understand, but at the same time I don't

> want my brother to suffer needlessly.

>

> But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him when he

> dies. I really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to my husband about

> this - he lost his dad to lung cancer when he was 19... his entire family

> was there when his dad passed. He said that he thought I would regret not

> being there for my brother if I feel so strongly about it. I just think

> SOMEONE needs to be with him when he passes... is this wrong? Have any of

> you had to make this choice? How did your families handle this? Did you keep

> your distance or did you make sure you were in the room the entire time?

> Does anyone know what to expect? I don't want to watch him struggling for

> breath when they take the vent off him... this would just be devestating.

>

> I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be bummer to

> all of you. But I really feel a connection here and I know you'll all be

> totally honest with me. Any advice you can provide would be greatly

> appreciated.

>

> Still needing the prayers...

> Lori

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lori - I just wanted to make a comment on your mother being at Timmy's bed

at the last. I am probably one of the older ones here, mother of 4 and

grandmother of 12, age 65. If one of my children were dying, I would want

to be there. It wouldn't matter what the state of my health was. The only

thing that would stop me would be if it were a real burden on others to get

me there, such as taking my hospital bed with me. When I was in the

hospital last time, in ICU with four doctors trying to figure out what the

problem was, wondering why I didn't appear to be dying when they looked at

me, I talked to my second daughter and she needed her mother. If I had died

right after I talked to her, I still would have wanted to have done it. I

had my second grandson living with me for about four months a couple of

months after having gall bladder surgery, and it was very stressful because

he was on probabtion. He came to my house rather than go to juvenile hall

as his step father wouldn't allow him in the house any more. I have his

older brother living with me now, and it is stressful at times, but he had a

need, a need to move to some place he could get a job. His mother is going

through a divorce, supporting two younger siblings. I am telling you all of

this to make my point that sometimes it is more stressful not to do

somethings, like being at the hospital when one of your children dies than

it would be to sit home wondering. I know there comes a time when decisions

have to be made for parents, but it is my belief that as long as they can

make their own decisions, they should be allowed to. Hope I don't sound as

if I am preaching. Jan H

> Lori, the last time I was in the hospital, in September, I had my dvd

> player with me. I was reading a book when I heard the song " He has the

> whole world in his hands " I felt warmth going down between me and the

> recliner I was sitting in and could feel God almost lifting me up out of

> that chair. Do you have a cd/dvd player you could put in his room and play

> some of his favorite music, uplifting music? I know from experience with my

> nephew that people who are in a coma can still hear. When we talked to him

> about certain things, and prayed around his bed, his monitors changed. Jan

> H

>

>

>

>> It's a comforting picture I will carry with me... that God has my

>> brother in His arms. I'd like to hold on to that mental picture through the

>> tough times that are coming.

>>

>> Hugs,

>> Lori

>>

>> --------- Update on my brother Timmy

>>

>> Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my

>> brother. I took my mother in to see him today and before we made it into his

>> room, they took us into " the conference room " .

>>

>> In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs are a

>> mess, kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest setting on the

>> vent to the highest setting - all of this happened overnight.

>>

>> My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way home, my

>> mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in agreement that we need

>> to start comfort care... we can't handle the thought of him suffering. I

>> called my SIL and asked her to come to my mother's house so we could all

>> discuss this... and the bottom line after much crying and talking... she

>> said needed time. Which I totally understand, but at the same time I don't

>> want my brother to suffer needlessly.

>>

>> But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him when he

>> dies. I really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to my husband about

>> this - he lost his dad to lung cancer when he was 19... his entire family

>> was there when his dad passed. He said that he thought I would regret not

>> being there for my brother if I feel so strongly about it. I just think

>> SOMEONE needs to be with him when he passes... is this wrong? Have any of

>> you had to make this choice? How did your families handle this? Did you keep

>> your distance or did you make sure you were in the room the entire time?

>> Does anyone know what to expect? I don't want to watch him struggling for

>> breath when they take the vent off him... this would just be devestating.

>>

>> I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be bummer to

>> all of you. But I really feel a connection here and I know you'll all be

>> totally honest with me. Any advice you can provide would be greatly

>> appreciated.

>>

>> Still needing the prayers...

>> Lori

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Not just Chief, either. , and Ben lin, and Abraham Lincoln, and

Ritter, and Heath Ledger, and Washington, and ...My grandfather....

long life, old age, everything good-Apache prayer

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Saturday, November 8, 2008 5:34:14 AM

Subject: Re: Update on my brother Timmy

Oh yes.....Chief Little Eagle will be there to welcome him . Tim will like him

alot. CLE will probably tell stories about us : )

Love,Jill

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,but by the moments that take our

breath away.

From: Pamela on <ohana5mtaonline (DOT) net>

Subject: Re: Update on my brother Timmy

To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

Date: Friday, November 7, 2008, 8:29 PM

Lori,

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.

Did your sil say why she didn't want anyone with him when he passed? Does she

want to be alone with him then? Or what?

I was told by Hospice that you die like you lived. My mom was a very quiet,

backgrounds kind of gal, who never put herself first. She died that same way.

Even waited until I finished my shower and putting my make up on before she

died. I noticed the fish breaths (where the chin makes rapid movements, although

they were subtle) it was only about 30seconds later that she was gone. It was

very quiet and very soft. She was not on a vent but had slipped into a coma a

few days prior to death.

I know it is different for everyone. Ask the nurse what might happen, so you can

be more prepared. Ask specific questions if you have them. If you are concerned

about sounds, or struggles, be honest and open and maybe she can clarify things

for you. Hospice nurses are GREAT at answering these kinds of questions.

I asked each of my family members whether they wanted to be in the room during,

or just after, or not at all..and praise God we were able to each do what we

needed to do.

I will be praying that your Timmy has a peaceful passing and that everyone's

needs are met as he journeys to the gates of Heaven.

Big Hugs dear one!!

Love,

Pamela

Update on my brother Timmy

Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my brother. I

took my mother in to see him today and before we made it into his room, they

took us into " the conference room " .

In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs are a mess,

kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest setting on the vent to the

highest setting - all of this happened overnight.

My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way home, my

mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in agreement that we need to

start comfort care... we can't handle the thought of him suffering. I called my

SIL and asked her to come to my mother's house so we could all discuss this...

and the bottom line after much crying and talking... she said needed time. Which

I totally understand, but at the same time I don't want my brother to suffer

needlessly.

But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him when he dies. I

really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to my husband about this - he

lost his dad to lung cancer when he was 19... his entire family was there when

his dad passed. He said that he thought I would regret not being there for my

brother if I feel so strongly about it. I just think SOMEONE needs to be with

him when he passes... is this wrong? Have any of you had to make this choice?

How did your families handle this? Did you keep your distance or did you make

sure you were in the room the entire time? Does anyone know what to expect? I

don't want to watch him struggling for breath when they take the vent off him...

this would just be devestating.

I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be bummer to all of

you. But I really feel a connection here and I know you'll all be totally honest

with me. Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Still needing the prayers...

Lori

[Guest guest]

In the hospice, I had Ardis' cd player/clock radio. I put the moody blues

greatest hits in it. At the top of the hour, one oclock am, I turned it on, and

played " nights in white satin " . It was her favorite song. She went home in the

middle of the song, at the interlude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6FxXD8LXJYlong life, old age, everything

good-Apache prayer

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Saturday, November 8, 2008 12:49:19 PM

Subject: Re: Update on my brother Timmy

Lori, the last time I was in the hospital, in September, I had my dvd player

with me. I was reading a book when I heard the song " He has the whole

world in his hands " I felt warmth going down between me and the recliner I

was sitting in and could feel God almost lifting me up out of that chair.

Do you have a cd/dvd player you could put in his room and play some of his

favorite music, uplifting music? I know from experience with my nephew that

people who are in a coma can still hear. When we talked to him about

certain things, and prayed around his bed, his monitors changed. Jan H

On Sat, Nov 8, 2008 at 5:11 AM, <mrsrcrxcomcast (DOT) net> wrote:

> It's a comforting picture I will carry with me... that God has my

> brother in His arms. I'd like to hold on to that mental picture through the

> tough times that are coming.

>

> Hugs,

> Lori

>

> ------------ -- Original message ------------ --

> From: sandra <sgonz48yahoo (DOT) com <sgonz48%40yahoo. com>>

> Dear Lori i am so sorry to hear this. you have been in my thoughts and

> prayers since coming to this group. Your brother will never be alone. God

> will be with him...Do what you have to do for you now but remember God has

> him in his arms.

> Love in Christ to you and your family

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

>

> From: " mrsrcrxcomcast (DOT) net <mrsrcrx%40comcast. net> " <mrsrcrxcomcast (DOT)

..net<mrsrcrx%40comcast. .net>

> >

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com<livercirrhosissupp

ort%40yahoogroup s.com>

> Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008 10:42:58 PM

> Subject: Re: Update on my brother Timmy

>

> Lyncia:

>

> Yep, I'm convinced now, after talking to all of you. I know that what I

> wanted -- to be with him to the end -- is the right thing to do.

>

> Although I know my brother is no longer the person lying in that bed... I

> still think he'll know I'm there for him. Like you said, " he'll feel my

> love " and that's all that matters.

>

> Lori

>

> ------------ -- Original message ------------ --

> From: Lyncia <lmlangdonyahoo (DOT) . com>

> Lori,

>

> He needs that from you! Don't let him be alone. He will feel your love.

>

> Lyncia

>

> In life family and friends take us on all kinds of adventures, God helps us

> choose our path....Enjoy your journey!

>

>

>

> From: Pamela on <ohana5mtaonline (DOT) net>

> Subject: Re: Update on my brother Timmy

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Date: Friday, November 7, 2008, 8:29 PM

>

> Lori,

>

> I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.

>

> Did your sil say why she didn't want anyone with him when he passed? Does

> she want to be alone with him then? Or what?

>

> I was told by Hospice that you die like you lived. My mom was a very quiet,

> backgrounds kind of gal, who never put herself first. She died that same

> way. Even waited until I finished my shower and putting my make up on before

> she died. I noticed the fish breaths (where the chin makes rapid movements,

> although they were subtle) it was only about 30seconds later that she was

> gone. It was very quiet and very soft. She was not on a vent but had slipped

> into a coma a few days prior to death.

>

> I know it is different for everyone. Ask the nurse what might happen, so

> you can be more prepared. Ask specific questions if you have them. If you

> are concerned about sounds, or struggles, be honest and open and maybe she

> can clarify things for you. Hospice nurses are GREAT at answering these

> kinds of questions.

>

> I asked each of my family members whether they wanted to be in the room

> during, or just after, or not at all..and praise God we were able to each do

> what we needed to do.

>

> I will be praying that your Timmy has a peaceful passing and that

> everyone's needs are met as he journeys to the gates of Heaven.

>

> Big Hugs dear one!!

>

> Love,

> Pamela

>

> Update on my brother Timmy

>

> Well, it looks as if we exhausted all of our possibilities with my brother.

> I took my mother in to see him today and before we made it into his room,

> they took us into " the conference room " .

>

> In addition to the liver failure, he has a bleeding, a temp, lungs are a

> mess, kidneys are failing again and he went from the lowest setting on the

> vent to the highest setting - all of this happened overnight.

>

> My sister in law is not dealing well with this at all. On the way home, my

> mother and I discussed the outcomes... and we are in agreement that we need

> to start comfort care... we can't handle the thought of him suffering. I

> called my SIL and asked her to come to my mother's house so we could all

> discuss this... and the bottom line after much crying and talking... she

> said needed time. Which I totally understand, but at the same time I don't

> want my brother to suffer needlessly.

>

> But my biggest concern is that she doesn't want anyone with him when he

> dies. I really feel like I NEED to be there. I've talked to my husband about

> this - he lost his dad to lung cancer when he was 19... his entire family

> was there when his dad passed. He said that he thought I would regret not

> being there for my brother if I feel so strongly about it. I just think

> SOMEONE needs to be with him when he passes... is this wrong? Have any of

> you had to make this choice? How did your families handle this? Did you keep

> your distance or did you make sure you were in the room the entire time?

> Does anyone know what to expect? I don't want to watch him struggling for

> breath when they take the vent off him... this would just be devestating.

>

> I'm so sorry to come here with all of this... I know it must be bummer to

> all of you. But I really feel a connection here and I know you'll all be

> totally honest with me. Any advice you can provide would be greatly

> appreciated.

>

> Still needing the prayers...

> Lori

>

>