Re: Macho man to the rescue !

[Guest guest]

Ray,

That is what gives bad names to those that truely need it. I think we

all have seen that abuse. It really hurts those who's disability isn't

apparent to the outside world. It puts them in the scam catagory.

H. R. Neal wrote:

>

>

>

> Mike, regarding supplementing income and jeopardizing disability...it is

> the honest folks who always get caught and have to pay. I know people

> around here who are on disability because of inability to work

> construction due to an injury in the past who run construction companies

> and get paid in cash. I wonder who they will make mad enough some day

> to turn them in? Ray

> ----------------------------------------------------

> Reach me by ICQ. My ICQ# is 14278868 or,

> * Page me online through my Personal Communication Center:

> http://wwp.mirabilis.com/14278868 (go there and try it!) or,

> * Send me E-mail Express directly to my computer screen

> 14278868@...

> For downloading ICQ at http://www.icq.com/

> Ray in Virginia

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

How about blaming part of this behaviour on upbringing. I may be old

fashion but I always believed that my role in life was to be the main

support for my family. This often left me in a position of refusing to even

take the time to look after myself if I felt that my family would be in a

bad position.

I know, I know, this is the nineties but I wasn't born in the nineties.

There is a sense of pride attached to my being the provider and by

implication a strong sense of failure when I can't fulfil that role.

I know " macho " even entered in the equation.....

Mike

>

>

>

>

snip snip

> Sometimes I think it is a

> " macho " thing, and sometimes I think they are afraid of docs, or

> afraid of

> admitting that they have probs.

> Just my opinion.

> Diane

>

> Jackie wrote:

>

[Guest guest]

I believe false adherence to the work ethic screws with us a lot

Ken

At 09:23 PM 11/15/98 -0500, you wrote:

>

>

>How about blaming part of this behaviour on upbringing. I may be old

>fashion but I always believed that my role in life was to be the main

>support for my family. This often left me in a position of refusing to even

>take the time to look after myself if I felt that my family would be in a

>bad position.

>

>I know, I know, this is the nineties but I wasn't born in the nineties.

>There is a sense of pride attached to my being the provider and by

>implication a strong sense of failure when I can't fulfil that role.

>

>I know " macho " even entered in the equation.....

>

>Mike

>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>snip snip

>

>> Sometimes I think it is a

>> " macho " thing, and sometimes I think they are afraid of docs, or

>> afraid of

>> admitting that they have probs.

>> Just my opinion.

>> Diane

>>

>> Jackie wrote:

>>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Ken, I agree and the key term there is " false " adherence to the work

ethic.People still ask me if there is " something " I could do at home in

the line of work. ????? I do freelance, but deadlines are awfully hard

to meet. And somewho volunteer work or anything that I don't do for

" pay " is automatically discounted.

Lyn

Laughter Heals!!

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[Guest guest]

>From: Turbin > " I believe false adherence to the work ethic

screws with us a lot. "

Sure does! My wife just left for a 12-hour day at her clinic and the

hospital. I'm sitting here drinking coffee and writing e-mail. No

matter how many years our roles have been reversed, I still feel that

something is not quite right. Macho man lives on inside of me, too.

Ray

[Guest guest]

> From: lyn55@... (Lyn Gottschalk)

>

> Ken, I agree and the key term there is " false " adherence to the work

> ethic.People still ask me if there is " something " I could do at home in

> the line of work. ????? I do freelance, but deadlines are awfully hard

> to meet. And somewho volunteer work or anything that I don't do for

> " pay " is automatically discounted.

> Lyn

>

Good point Lyn. The part I find the most annoying in this however, is that

for those who receive some form of assistance from the state or government,

being able to do even a little bit of work is not a sign of accomplishment

but rather a reason on the state's part to withhold from an already meager

source of income. My past experience in the work force has left me with a

fair amount of knowledge I could probably use to augment my income. My fear

is that I was categorically told that any, _any_ work on my part would

jeopardize a disability pension that it took me 3 years and a court case to

get. Although I have not been told not to work in exactly those words, I

was warned that any reported income would reflect _immediately_ on an

already too small income but that in addition it would thereafter take up

to 3 months or more to get the records in my favour following that. So if I

work today, I get nailed to day but then I have to deal with a reduced

income for up to 3 months to set the record straight ! Is it any wonder

some of us feel abandoned and some others are so quick to commit fraud. The

system needs changing.

Mike

[Guest guest]

Mike, yes it does. THere are so MANY things that are absolutely

ridiculous. I have a friend who had to get a divorce to get medicaid.

She could keep her SS, but not get SSI because his meager income put

them $12.over the limit.

Her script costs were over $1200 a month. She coud go through mounds of

paperwork every month to TRY and qualify or they could get a divorce and

she could quality for everything.

Stupid. And invasive into our private lives.

Another friend had to divorce her husband after he had a car accident

which left him incapacitated mentally. In order to place him a rest home

and get medicaid, she had to file for divorce, which means she has no

control over how they treat him anymore. And it goes on and on and

on....

Lyn

Laughter Heals!!

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[Guest guest]

:

:

:How about blaming part of this behaviour on upbringing. I may be old

:fashion but I always believed that my role in life was to be the main

:support for my family. This often left me in a position of refusing to even

:take the time to look after myself if I felt that my family would be in a

:bad position.

Upbringing has GOT to be a part of this! :-) My hubby will not hesitate

to go to the doctors for anything, big or small. Where he grew up it was a

different experience, 'going to the doctors'. The doctor was seen as a

helpful person who would show you how to help yourself. The doctors he saw

took a whole-body sort of approach. They also tried non-pharmaceutical

approaches quite often, especially for the minor things (colds, bladder

infections, cut that's gotten infected, etc.). He also talks about how they

never rushed you in and out of the office, how if you needed tests you got

them, or how in the hospital after surgery you weren't hurried out before

you were ready to go home. He left there 11 years ago but it still is the

same. His sister just had foot surgery (bunion) and she was in for 2 and a

half weeks, has someone at home to help out after her hubby goes back to

work. Her hubby had 4 weeks off work, paid, while she was in the hospital

so he could take care of their 2 yr.. old and then help w/her when she got

home. It's really a different approach there.

He's often surprised at how things are done here but even though he had a

bad experience with one doctor here he'll go see our doctor whenever he

needs to and pays attention to when it's time for a physical.

The only thing he does that drives me nuts is that when he has a cold he

pretends he doesn't have anything and when he has the flu he tells me it's

just a mild cold and that he's fine, even though he's running a temp and

looks awful, coughing, and sweating. :-)

Plus he's always drinking this tea or that tea for different things. I

dislike tea for the most part but he insists it will help. I'm sure he's

right most of the time but I can't stand the stuff. :-)

[Guest guest]

From: lyn55@... (Lyn Gottschalk)

Ken, I agree and the key term there is " false " adherence to the work

ethic.People still ask me if there is " something " I could do at home in

the line of work. ????? I do freelance, but deadlines are awfully hard

to meet. And somewho volunteer work or anything that I don't do for

" pay " is automatically discounted.

Lyn

==========

I blame it on the media. They infer that everyone should be overworked,

have a career, have huge goals, etc. etc. This is shown in commercials, TV

shows of all sorts, movies, magazine ads and stories/articles, and even in a

lot of the fiction that is out there today.

I did not work outside the home before I injured myself. I'd stopped two

years earlier. My place is in the home. I do not and never did want a

career. This is my choice. I have enough to " DO " here at home. My

husband, when I met him, told me he preferred that anyone he married not

work outside the home. He wouldn't outright say no but his preference is

that I stay home and he was up front about it very early on. My ex was the

same way. We all agreed that we felt that one of the problems today is that

both parties in a relationship are out chasing the money and thus the home

and homelife are ignored.

I never bother discussing this with anyone, even before I injured myself.

They just don't get it and don't wish to because too often they feel deep

down inside that I'm really taking the best approach to life. Both men and

women today feel that they SHOULD be chasing after the big $$, the next

promotion, the best this or that. They've lost sight of what really counts

in life.

When asked what I do I reply, I breathe. That's all I need to do. They

then rephrase the question and I ask them to clarify their question. Then

we get to the heart of it and I say, OH...you mean do I have a career or a

job outside the home?? No, I don't. Don't want it, don't think it's what's

right for me. Then they talk about money. We have what we can afford not

try to afford what we want is what I tell them.

Many people today are actually afraid of being idle. They can't deal with

being with themselves! I discussed this with my brother recently who was off

work for over a month (he goes back on Thursday) due to eye surgery. I

pointed out that he seemed to be having a really rough time being with

himself. He got it, sorta, but he couldn't even talk about it (his words).

Often people talk about making 'quality time' (gawd I hate that term) with

their loved ones. But too often they force the issue and it ends up a

disaster. I read something once (and have the hard copy here which I'll

paraphrase) that really illustrated how our society is unable to enjoy

leisure time. A man vowed that this coming Saturday, a beautiful early

Summer day, he would take time for leisure. He got up an hour later than

usual. He took his son to soccer practice. He ran errands, store, bank,

friend's to drop off something. Picked up son from practice. Took son to

fast food chain where they had 'quality time' together for 15 minutes. Son

was not allowed to play with Gameboy while eating! Took son home. Wife was

leaving to go shopping, hair done, so on. He decided he'd try to get some

golf time in. Called friends. They were all either gone already or busy.

Went to sporting goods store, son didn't want to go...was playing Nintendo

with friends. Spent too much on his credit card at the store but came home

with new clubs which he hid from wife. Went outside to mow lawn, clean

garage. Wife came home and they were going to all make dinner together and

sit down and enjoy it. Son was still at friend's, wife was tired...she'd

been busy all day and had a long week at the office. He decided to order

pizza which he ate while wife napped and son came home an hour later and

ate the rest of the pizza. Wife woke up, said she had gardening to do after

she called her Mom and her Sister. He went outside to finish cleaning

garage and then to wash both cars. As he was finishing washing the mini

van, under the flood lights in his driveway, he thought about how at least

he and the family could watch a movie together, he'd go rent a good one. He

looked at his watch and it was 10pm. Son was upstairs in his room, wife

was asleep on the couch still in her gardening clothes, and he was tired so

he woke her up, helped her upstairs, they took showers and fell into bed,

snoring before they hit the pillow.

When I visit my husband's hometown (in Bavaria, Germany) I am continually

reminded of how differently they live. Their value on leisure time is great

and no one feels guilty about it!! It's so cool! They also place high

importance on spending time with friends and family. They value having

their children at home w/a parent. They don't even feel guilty about eating

chocolate, it's considered a good thing, in moderation! I was REALLY

knocked over by that one! They live in a different manner and at a

different pace and I LOVE it. I've spent quite a bit of time there and

would actually move there. Their economy is in bad shape right now, they

have a different system than we do, their taxes are awfully high (but they

get so much more for them), and it's crowded because they leave the rural

areas rural thus most people live in small towns or cities (except for

farmers and such) and in close quarters. BUT... the respect shown to each

other is wonderful for me to see, the safety of most of their cities is

quite enjoyable, and the quiet times are marvelous. If we could find just a

bit of this in our society we might be able to jump off the wheel now and

then and quit chasing careers, status, money and start enjoying our life!

Maybe we'd even be able to, as a whole, enjoy doing NOTHING now and then!

:-)

CUL,

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

:

:

:>From: Turbin > " I believe false adherence to the work ethic

:screws with us a lot. "

:

:Sure does! My wife just left for a 12-hour day at her clinic and the

:hospital. I'm sitting here drinking coffee and writing e-mail. No

:matter how many years our roles have been reversed, I still feel that

:something is not quite right. Macho man lives on inside of me, too.

:Ray

This reminds me of our neighbor. He quit his job over 2 years ago now. He

told it was because he couldn't stand the son who took over the

business. He's not worked since. His wife, so he says, has a good job and

makes enough money. They're younger than us. Bob, that's his name, doesn't

do anything about the house, inside or out (she told me he does nothing

inside when we talked about house keeping recently). He occasionally goes

fishing cuz I see him go out with his rods, box and a life vest. Same for

golf. I know he has HORRIBLE allergies, he couldn't mow the lawn or

anything and sometimes if he goes outside to his car he has on a dust mask.

He doesn't even take the trash to the curb, has it done for them. I don't

know if he's ill or disabled in some manner. I don't ask and they don't

say.

The thing is, the other neighbors all ASSUME he's a lazy bum and all talk

about how weird it is that he stays home (they don't have kids) and she

works. There are only a few of us that talk to each other now and then,

this is a keep you nose in your own business...for the most

part...neighborhood.... but boy do they like talk about Bob, the lazy bum!!

For some reason it seems 'not natural' that he stays home but it's OK that I

do. Sheesh!

I could remind these gossips that we don't know what's what or how they have

chosen to live, or that maybe he's disabled, but I don't. Why should he

have to have an excuse??!?

CUL,

Ruthie

====================================

Ruthie Cunliffe K2ZQ

ruthie@...

www.cunliffegroup.com/ruthie

Ruthie's web cam will be back in a few days!

[Guest guest]

From: lyn55@... (Lyn Gottschalk)

Mike, yes it does. THere are so MANY things that are absolutely

ridiculous. I have a friend who had to get a divorce to get medicaid.

She could keep her SS, but not get SSI because his meager income put

them $12.over the limit.

=====

Did they live together after the divorce? I was told even before I married

that I did not qualify for Medicaid or SSI because they take the whole

household income into consideration. I could have lied and said that I

rented from or not said anything about him living there but that's not

something I'm comfortable doing.

CUL,

Ruthie

====================================

Ruthie Cunliffe K2ZQ

ruthie@...

www.cunliffegroup.com/ruthie

[Guest guest]

Ruthie--No , they couldn't live together after the divorce.

Once she qualified for medicaid in our state, social services also

intervenes. It was a very sad situation.

Lyn

Laughter Heals!!

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[Guest guest]

I am only 40 and I agree with Mike. I was brought up to believe you work is your

worth and practiced that every day of my life when I was able to work. It was

what got me noticed and on the fast track where I worked and I enjoyed much

success and promotions. It gave me a great sense of pride to be able to support

my family in a nice level of comfort. It made me even more proud that my wifes

family was always boasting about me and my job. But now that is all gone and

will remain gone for the rest of my life. They tell me I am not worth retraining

as I cant sit through class. So I have struggled with a sense of worth for over

two years now. It is better, but will never be completely gone. I hope I can

instill the same work ethic in my 6 year old son.

Your friend in pain,

Turbin wrote:

>

>

> I believe false adherence to the work ethic screws with us a lot

>

> Ken

>

> At 09:23 PM 11/15/98 -0500, you wrote:

> >

> >

> >How about blaming part of this behaviour on upbringing. I may be old

> >fashion but I always believed that my role in life was to be the main

> >support for my family. This often left me in a position of refusing to even

> >take the time to look after myself if I felt that my family would be in a

> >bad position.

> >

> >I know, I know, this is the nineties but I wasn't born in the nineties.

> >There is a sense of pride attached to my being the provider and by

> >implication a strong sense of failure when I can't fulfil that role.

> >

> >I know " macho " even entered in the equation.....

> >

> >Mike

> >

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >snip snip

> >

> >> Sometimes I think it is a

> >> " macho " thing, and sometimes I think they are afraid of docs, or

> >> afraid of

> >> admitting that they have probs.

> >> Just my opinion.

> >> Diane

> >>

> >> Jackie wrote:

> >>

> >

> >

> >------------------------------------------------------------------------

> >

[Guest guest]

, perhaps you should think about instilling a different kind of work

ethic in your son. Just because I can no longer run with the big guys

in business, education, etc., does that mean that the work that I do is

not valuable, not respectable. Work comes in all types and not every

type of work is necessarily competitive. People make livings at all

sorts of things and are happy at doing it. Visited the Arts & Crafts

Community outside of Gatlinburg, TN, this past week. Some of those guys

and girls were at the top of their game, but didn't derive any meaning

from their lives. Now they work on what used to be their hobbies and

make a satisfactory living at it...though nothing like they used to.

And some have been doing it since teenage years, never knew another way

of working. We can't let others set our own sense of worth. We have to

discover who we are and what we can do on our own (perhaps with a little

help every now and then from knowledgeable, caring friends and

counselors), but it is you and I alone who say " I am okay! " to

ourselves. Sure, I struggle with this every day. I even acknowledge to

friends that I don't think the same way that they do any longer. But I

am an individual and not one of the pack any longer. If I can't do it

satisfactorily their way, then I will do it my way to satisfy myself.

I've got a nine-year old daughter at home who spends hours on art

projects she thinks up and creates. She has her own built-in

self-worth.

Ray in Virginia

----------------------------------------------------

Reach me by ICQ. My ICQ# is 14278868 or,

* Page me online through my Personal Communication Center:

http://wwp.mirabilis.com/14278868 (go there and try it!) or,

* Send me E-mail Express directly to my computer screen

14278868@...

For downloading ICQ at http://www.icq.com/

Ray in Virginia

[Guest guest]

Damn you ! What gives you the right to be so succinct

in just one paragraph ? It took me 5 pages to say that !

Lord, how I hate a smartass !

Seriously, I think that what has been the most beneficial

for me in regaining a certain amount of self worth was to

look at other forms of occupation. If I kept judging myself

using the yardstick created when I was able to function

normally, I would always remain a failure. Instead, I

decided a while back to pursue a different line of " work " .

In doing that, I have nothing to compare past performance to

and everything I do is an accomplishment on it's own. I am

in effect creating a new yardstick, more in keeping with my

present limitations. Not only that, but this yardstick has

more value because things are way harder to do than they

were in the past.

As to imparting your wisdom on your 6 year old, there is

nothing more valuable than teaching a child the value of

perseverance in the face of adversity and that is one thing

you are very well suited and qualified to do. " Never quit

unless all avenues have been explored, and never say die ! "

is part of what I gave my kids and as you can read in

earlier posts today, it seems to work.

As long as you have your mind, you can be re-trained. If the

system can't help you do, do it on your own ( it feels

better that way anyway ). Your greatest asset is your mind.

Don't believe me ? Ask Professor Hawkin who has

control over only 2 fingers in his right hand or something

like that. Need more proof ? What is the greatest fear

expressed when we talk about " intelligent " computers ? That

they will " think " for us and make us obsolete. Our mind is

without equal and is what differentiates us from everything

else, all we have to do is use it.

Mike

>

>

>

> I am only 40 and I agree with Mike. I was brought

> up to believe you work is your

> worth and practiced that every day of my life

> when I was able to work. It was

> what got me noticed and on the fast track where I

> worked and I enjoyed much

> success and promotions. It gave me a great sense

> of pride to be able to support

> my family in a nice level of comfort. It made me

> even more proud that my wifes

> family was always boasting about me and my job.

> But now that is all gone and

> will remain gone for the rest of my life. They

> tell me I am not worth retraining

> as I cant sit through class. So I have struggled

> with a sense of worth for over

> two years now. It is better, but will never be

> completely gone. I hope I can

> instill the same work ethic in my 6 year old son.

>

> Your friend in pain,

>

>

[Guest guest]

excuse me for not understanding. You were in a emotional crisis due

to your strong work ethic and you still want to instill that in your

son? What if he were also to become (heaven forbid) disabled at some

point? Would you want him to also go through an emotional crisis?

Wouldn't a happy medium be to teach him to reach for his dreams but to

be realistic in his approach to work? I am not trying to be

argumentative , but it seems contradictory to me.

Lyn

Laughter Heals!!

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[Guest guest]

,

IMHO if you teach your children to be responsible for themselves, that

in itself teaches them work ethics. Being responsible for their room,

their belongings, helping with cooking, cleaning, laundry and yard

work. The kids that have everything done for them, expect others to do

for them. Being disabled since my children were babies made me make

them independent. I know if something happened to me today, my kids can

take care of themselves. My son's 14 yr old friend can't even operate

his own oven. 6 is a little young, but there is a lot a 6 year old can

do. I never gave it much thought the mental anguish a man goes through

when he becomes disabled and can't work. You didn't choose this path,

it was chosen for you for some unknown reason.

Walters wrote:

>

>

>

> I am only 40 and I agree with Mike. I was brought up to believe you work is

your

> worth and practiced that every day of my life when I was able to work. It was

> what got me noticed and on the fast track where I worked and I enjoyed much

> success and promotions. It gave me a great sense of pride to be able to

support

> my family in a nice level of comfort. It made me even more proud that my wifes

> family was always boasting about me and my job. But now that is all gone and

> will remain gone for the rest of my life. They tell me I am not worth

retraining

> as I cant sit through class. So I have struggled with a sense of worth for

over

> two years now. It is better, but will never be completely gone. I hope I can

> instill the same work ethic in my 6 year old son.

>

> Your friend in pain,

>

>

> Turbin wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > I believe false adherence to the work ethic screws with us a lot

> >

> > Ken

> >

> > At 09:23 PM 11/15/98 -0500, you wrote:

> > >

> > >

> > >How about blaming part of this behaviour on upbringing. I may be old

> > >fashion but I always believed that my role in life was to be the main

> > >support for my family. This often left me in a position of refusing to even

> > >take the time to look after myself if I felt that my family would be in a

> > >bad position.

> > >

> > >I know, I know, this is the nineties but I wasn't born in the nineties.

> > >There is a sense of pride attached to my being the provider and by

> > >implication a strong sense of failure when I can't fulfil that role.

> > >

> > >I know " macho " even entered in the equation.....

> > >

> > >Mike

> > >

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >>

> > >

> > >snip snip

> > >

> > >> Sometimes I think it is a

> > >> " macho " thing, and sometimes I think they are afraid of docs, or

> > >> afraid of

> > >> admitting that they have probs.

> > >> Just my opinion.

> > >> Diane

> > >>

> > >> Jackie wrote:

> > >>

> > >

> > >

> > >------------------------------------------------------------------------

> > >

[Guest guest]

H. R. Neal wrote:

>

>

>

> I've heard people gossip about " bums " in our neighborhood (expensive

> houses/professional couples/rich retirees,etc.) who don't conform to

> their way of thinking about yard care, housework, etc. Like myself some

> of these folks are handicapped in some manner and cannot do the work the

> way it should be done, nor can they afford for someone else to do it the

> right way.

I've never been so relieved to move from a CC & R neighborhood. The more

infirm I became the less I could do outside. My husband took care of the

mowing but he wasn't big on gardening and planting. My yards were always

the ones with the least amount of flower beds. Thank God for Rhodies!

But, even with them you still had to weed........This last time we moved

into an older neigborhood, and no CC & R's. It was really a relief. Every

body's yards look like ours. Tall grass, weeds in the gardens, wild rose

bushes, and no bark dust. Don't get me wrong, I like a nice manicured

landscape, but if I can't do it, and can't afford to get it done, then I

have to just wait until my husband can fit it in. [no more nagging]

In my last house, I planted silk flowers, looked pretty real, and I was

the only one to have flowers all winter!

Smiles, Jackie

[Guest guest]

:

: I always wonder when I watch movies, or documentaries about life in

:other countries if it's really as nice as it looks. I guess when you

:don't really have alot you concentrate on other things, and family and

:friends become a top priority. A lot of Americans have isolated

:themselves by all the wealth, and technology we have access to more

:easily than the average citizen of most country's.

I used to wonder the same thing. I was so surprised the first time I

visited different places to see that it was often VERY true to the stuff on

TV ! Illustration: We were the Alps, it was Summer, we drove waaaay up

this mountain.....it's the one that has Hitler's Eagle's Nest place on

top....the car we had had a sun roof and it was wide open. We were about

halfway up or so and it was so quiet. Suddenly I heard bells, cow bells! I

stuck my whole head out the sun roof so I could hear them better and see the

cows! stopped (he didn't want to decapitate me) and we could see the

cows in the fields and they all had cow bells on, just like in the travel

tapes, tv shows, etc.! Another little story: First time in Bavaria.

Small town where liked to go. I saw many people with trachten clothing

on (you know, traditional Bavarian clothing....like you see in pictures and

stuff). It was not a holiday. It was mid week and they were going about

their business in the town. And here I thought they only dressed like that

for the pictures and movies! :-)

One reason, and you point it out, I think that it's different is because

they don't usually own their own home, thus that doesn't take up a lot of

time to maintain and all. Where they do live is almost always well taken

care of to whatever degree they can. The only time I was in any home in

Germany or Austria that had more than one TV was a home where actually their

top floor was a holiday home, a place they rent out in the Summer where

people can stay when on holiday. So actually they didn't have two TVs that

they used regularly. It's not real common to spend a lot of time in front

of a TV or computer there, unless Soccer is on :-) They do spend a lot of

time w/family and friends, which is cool IMO. Even our friends there who

are considered VERY well off are like this.

Spending a lot of time there taught me a lot of things. Living w/someone

who lived there until age 32 taught me a lot also. There's good sides and

bad sides but in this particular arena I think there's a lot of good there

that we should try to learn from.

CUL,

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Mike, regarding supplementing income and jeopardizing disability...it is

the honest folks who always get caught and have to pay. I know people

around here who are on disability because of inability to work

construction due to an injury in the past who run construction companies

and get paid in cash. I wonder who they will make mad enough some day

to turn them in? Ray

----------------------------------------------------

Reach me by ICQ. My ICQ# is 14278868 or,

* Page me online through my Personal Communication Center:

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* Send me E-mail Express directly to my computer screen

14278868@...

For downloading ICQ at http://www.icq.com/

Ray in Virginia

[Guest guest]

Hey, Ruthie, the best answer to " what do you do? " is " I'm retired! "

That really kills them if you're younger than they are. I use it all

the time. Beats explaining my illness. Ray

----------------------------------------------------

Reach me by ICQ. My ICQ# is 14278868 or,

* Page me online through my Personal Communication Center:

http://wwp.mirabilis.com/14278868 (go there and try it!) or,

* Send me E-mail Express directly to my computer screen

14278868@...

For downloading ICQ at http://www.icq.com/

Ray in Virginia

[Guest guest]

I've heard people gossip about " bums " in our neighborhood (expensive

houses/professional couples/rich retirees,etc.) who don't conform to

their way of thinking about yard care, housework, etc. Like myself some

of these folks are handicapped in some manner and cannot do the work the

way it should be done, nor can they afford for someone else to do it the

right way. I have perennial and wild flower beds all around the yard

because if you don't take care of them the flowers still keep coming.

Mow them once a year if you have to do something. It's not in keeping

with the manicured, expertly landscaped lawns of most folks, but I like

it and get lots of comments about it especially when some large stand of

wildflowers shows its stuff. Nor do I mow my lawn very often. The

grass is healthier if left longer, it shades itself in the sun and

survives the droughts better than grass cut during a dry spell. Folks

just don't stop to think about why someone might not do things the same

why that they do. They assume the worst and are rarely talked out of

their opinions. To get up and down in garden I need a kneeling stand or

cane, perhaps I should just use it all the time whenever I'm walking

around the neighborhood. Maybe I can educate them better, I'm

president-elect of the homeowners association. Ray

----------------------------------------------------

Reach me by ICQ. My ICQ# is 14278868 or,

* Page me online through my Personal Communication Center:

http://wwp.mirabilis.com/14278868 (go there and try it!) or,

* Send me E-mail Express directly to my computer screen

14278868@...

For downloading ICQ at http://www.icq.com/

Ray in Virginia

[Guest guest]

>

>

> Mike, regarding supplementing income and jeopardizing disability...it is

> the honest folks who always get caught and have to pay. I know people

> around here who are on disability because of inability to work

> construction due to an injury in the past who run construction companies

> and get paid in cash. I wonder who they will make mad enough some day

> to turn them in? Ray

I actually remember years ago when I worked as a mechanic, returning a car

to a customer. I walked into the dirtiest house you've ever seen, there

were 4 small kids running around naked, a really fat guy was sitting at the

table with a case of beer next to him. As I walked in, the wife was

actually pounding this guy on the knee with an empty beer bottle. They

laughingly explained that he had been injured on the job a year ago and

that by doing this just before he went for his monthly check up, the doc

would always sign his papers so they could draw family assistance no

questions asked.

I nearly puked.

Years later, when I had need of help, I couldn't get a red cent until I had

sold almost all our furniture, our car, and everything else. Honesty may be

the best policy, but it sure makes things harder some times.

Mike

[Guest guest]

:

:

:Hey, Ruthie, the best answer to " what do you do? " is " I'm retired! "

:That really kills them if you're younger than they are. I use it all

:the time. Beats explaining my illness. Ray

Good one Ray! I haven't tried that one... YET. I did tell someone not

too long ago that I was independently wealthy and therefore did whatever I

darn well wanted to, wherever and whenever. They didn't know if I was

kidding or not! They STILL don't.

====================================

Ruthie Cunliffe K2ZQ

ruthie@...

www.cunliffegroup.com/ruthie

Ruthie is too lazy to reinstall her web cam software! But...

watch this space and she'll let you know when it's back.

[Guest guest]

Rutie, have a friend in her mid-40's who has never had a job. Her

parents left her independently wealthy. She's always fretted when asked

what she does professionally. I told her to tell everyone she was an

investor (true). She loved it and plays the part perfectly, even though

she has professional investors working for her. Ray.

----------------------------------------------------

Reach me by ICQ. My ICQ# is 14278868 or,

* Page me online through my Personal Communication Center:

http://wwp.mirabilis.com/14278868 (go there and try it!) or,

* Send me E-mail Express directly to my computer screen

14278868@...

For downloading ICQ at http://www.icq.com/

Ray in Virginia