Guest guest Posted August 2, 2001 Report Share Posted August 2, 2001 Kim, First off, I want to say " thank You " for the condolences for our Willow Wolf. Next..Kim, I know how difficult this has to be for you. Of course you are " tired. " You are " tired " of waking up feeling sick and in pain, and you are " tired " of going to bed and feeling sick and in pain, *and* you are " tired " of forcing yourself to keep going day after day with this disease trying to take over your life. You will be okay hon. I'm firmly believing that Dr. Cush will help you to even things out a bit. Kill yourself?? Yeah, I know that feeling too. I'm thinking many on this site have felt that way at one time or another. But, Kim..we can't let the beast win. I know you really wouldn't do that because you couldn't hurt those who love you so much. and I talked about hanging ourselves last year, but we couldn't go through with it. I told her..(and it was my idea in the first place..she wanted to join me) I can *not* stand anything tight around my neck and also...I am *very* afraid of heights! So, we sort of threw that idea out. is doing so much better handling the dragon. She's using some of the right weapons, and fighting on. Also, Kim..I thought of taking a lot of pills, but I have read many articles where this doesn't work, and a person just ends up in the hospital feeling worse than ever. So, kiddo..hang(oops..no pun intended!) in here with the rest of us, and one day soon someone will find a way to *slay* the Stills dragon! Go give your kids and hubby a big hug, and tell them how much you love them, then please have a *good* night for a change. Oh yes, give yourself a big hug too! (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for Kim))))))))))))))))))))) tricia Re: Please respond to Poll on Pain Meds > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > read over the past few days, but have been unable too > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm starting to > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried so > hard not to take any today because I hate being in a > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago and > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel I > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in bed > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > could kill myself and it not affect those I love so > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I would. > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would never > kill myself though because I know that this feeling > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be able > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. I'm > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't remember > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but they > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I am > taking meds for depression. Someone recently wrote > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my first > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need to > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > could remember who wrote that....they were replying to > but there you go....I don't know who it was but > it was helpful. > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots everyday. > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine is at > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now and > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > days I wake up and think I would love to go just one > day without taking all those pills. I can also relate > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and blankets! > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it gives > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > Tricia: > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You were so > good to lie with him so that he could feel your love > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling better > and better all the time. Also that you for the reply > to my message about the connection I'm experiencing > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for fibromyasia (I > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > something????? > > Sue: > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to get > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to him > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do it. > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be the > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > cried. I know I can't have more children physically > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that I > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got the > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > Terry: > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so much > relief. > > Sue#2 > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare was > not as bad as in the past. I want some silver > water!!!! Do you need a script for it? Did you ask > you Rheumy about it? If so, what did he say? You may > have already answered these questions...I'm so far > behind. > > : > How is your pain in the flank? Thank you also for the > reply to my menstrual cycle question. I plan to take > the email from those that replied with me to my visit > with Dr. Cush unless any of you object. > > Poll for still's pain relief: Percocet with Valium > works best for me. > > Cat: > That was the most beautiful story about " Rainbow > Bridge " It made me teary and warm. I hope you are > doing well. > > Shelby: I want to thank you also for the reply to my > posting. It means so much to me to have this great > support system full of such special people. > > Cannon: How are you? I've thought about you a > lot lately and was wondering how you're feeling. > Again, maybe you have a message in my intray that I > haven't read...if so, I'm sorry...I've fallin behind > during my flare. I was just thinking about you and > wishing you well. > > K: Thank you for the reply to my posting about my > cycle and joint pain. > > Steph: How is Randy doing? This disease is so > unpredictable and just when you think you're coming > out of a flare....you begin to feel like you've been > run over by a truck. It can be so very frustrating. > I'm feeling that frustration myself. > > : Sweetie....I don't know what to say. I know > you don't want " pity " but that is such a sad and > upsetting story. Please let me know if there is > anything I can do for you. If you need information or > whatever I can do....please let me know. You're in my > thoughts and prayers. > > Well, I guess I should be signing off. It's 3:00 and > I think my pain med has kicked in enough now that I > can go to sleep. > > Love y'all, > Kim in Virginia > > PS> I'll try to keep up better. > > > > > --- Bridget Rushing > wrote: > > Aloha, > > > > I have not responded to your poll because I am one > > of > > those people who are having a really hard time > > finding > > the right " cocktail " to help me. Luckily my Rheumy > > is > > basically understanding and willing to try different > > things to an extent. I know she has my best interest > > at heart. You know that old adage....If at first you > > don't succeed.... > > > > Right now I am on 5mg Prednisone, 1mg Folic Acid and > > 100mg Doxephin daily. I give myself a 10mg inj of > > Methotrexate weekly. For pain I take 30mg of MS > > Contin > > twice a day and have two strengths of Vicodin for > > break thru pain. I just got off the NSAID Naproxen. > > My > > liver enzymes are starting to act up and we are > > trying > > to keep from coming off the Methotrexate. I am a > > little stressed to say the least. I think the Metho > > is > > the first thing to really help me in a long time. I > > hate the Prednisone! I blow up like a little blimp, > > eat continuously and the mood swings are terrible. > > I'm > > on the waiting list for Enbrel, but we are not sure > > my > > Ins (Medicaid) will pay for it if I get it. > > > > Hope this helps. Unfortunately even after all of > > this > > I still am having a very difficult time controlling > > pain. I have accepted the fact that I probably won't > > be pain free entirely (It's been years...I don't > > know > > what a day pain free is like, truly), but is wanting > > a > > little quality of life too much to ask?? I am sure I > > am not the only one to face such a question. The > > only > > thing to do is hold my head up, smile and keep > > hoping. > > > > Bridget > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2001 Report Share Posted August 2, 2001 My Dear Friend Kim, Kim, by now, I hope that you are feeling a little bit better. Your letter had me in tears friend. Are you okay? If you want to talk Kim, please, please call me..........do you need someone to talk to, instead of just over the Internet? Please feel free to talk to me or anyone else. I (we) are all very concerned for you and you need to know, that your letter was very special. You took a lot of time and effort into writing that, and maybe it did you some good. You vented, which you should be proud of and you made an exceptional effort to address a lot of people. That really means a lot to people Kim. You are going through a lot of emotions right now Kim, and you need to " vent " them and talk to someone, and you are doing the right thing here by addressing it to us. We all know how you feel, but every day is so different, and I know those feelings of " giving up " ....I think a lot of people here have had the same feelings at one point in their lives, but then one day.....just one day..........some rest, some much needed rest can change your attitude about things in 24 hours. I find that writing really helps out a lot. I learned in my divorce seminar to write someone a letter that you are truly mad at, and really pretend that you are going to mail that letter. Write all your feelings down, how you feel, explain with your heart just how hurt you are and for the way you have been treated, and this is for sicknesses too.......it can be a letter to God, or someone or something that you believe in. Be mad in that letter and get it off your chest, put it in an envelope and actually put a stamp on it if need be, but don't mail it ever. If need be, read it the next morning, tear it open and read it, or wait a few days. I swear Kim.....it works. You will be amazed at how good you feel after reading that letter again. It relieves a lot of pain and you will look upon it year after year, not even remembering what you wrote and why. I have some that are seven years old now......they are " goodbye letters " to my ex.....and I wrote them with all the anger in the world, and told him how I felt, leaving me pregnant and sick with another child. I told him how I felt and made an incredible " goodbye " to his attitude and " hello " to a better life for me and my kids letter. I told him " goodbye to all the wonderful things we had, the things he will miss with our kids, etc., " , and I mean " goodbye " not in ending my life way " goodbye " .........a goodbye to a wonderful life we had together, to our dreams, and me moving on to higher and happier places, family and friends and for caring enough about myself not to have pity upon myself, because I was " drowning myself in depression " ..... God Kim.....I still read it...........seven years later and I don't recognize myself in it at all. I am so proud of myself now...have come along way and deal with things much better and more mature..............I handle him with ease and I am a better person. My life, except for my sickness has been wonderful and as a single mother, I am proud of that. I have two wonderful, incredible boys, but they understand my illness and are always there for me, and without them, family and incredible friends, I think that I wouldn't be here either. Life is too precious. Children are too innocent and loving, parents are wonderful people and I love that I follow in their footsteps as a parent also. As for sickness.......write how angry you are, and why has this happened? Ask anyone, anything....use your imagination and your true feelings. In my case, I wrote to God....I still have that one too.........it works Kim......try it if you would like and let me know how it turns out. If you feel over-whelmed right now, please go and talk to someone sweetie. You are very important to us here. When we don't hear from friends for a while, we all worry. Lean on us, lean on us and rest right now. Try not to " stress " too much. I will be thinking about you, and you write as many times as you want. We are all here listening and waiting! Love, sue #2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2001 Report Share Posted August 3, 2001 Tricia: Thank you for your understanding and for not making me feel bad for having such thoughts about suicide. I can hear in your message that you understand what I mean. I did as advised and gave my family lots of love and appreciation last night. I'm starting to feel better. I mean I'm typing an email and I haven't even had a cup of coffee or prednisone yet Talk to you soon....With love, Kim --- Dennis & Tricia Looker wrote: > Kim, > > First off, I want to say " thank You " for the > condolences for our Willow > Wolf. > > Next..Kim, I know how difficult this has to be for > you. Of course you are > " tired. " > You are " tired " of waking up feeling sick and in > pain, and you are " tired " > of going > to bed and feeling sick and in pain, *and* you are > " tired " of forcing > yourself to > keep going day after day with this disease trying to > take over your life. > You will > be okay hon. I'm firmly believing that Dr. Cush > will help you to even > things out > a bit. > > Kill yourself?? Yeah, I know that feeling too. I'm > thinking many on this > site have > felt that way at one time or another. But, Kim..we > can't let the beast win. > I know > you really wouldn't do that because you couldn't > hurt those who love you so > much. > and I talked about hanging ourselves last > year, but we couldn't go > through > with it. I told her..(and it was my idea in the > first place..she wanted to > join me) I can > *not* stand anything tight around my neck and > also...I am *very* afraid of > heights! > So, we sort of threw that idea out. is doing > so much better handling > the dragon. > She's using some of the right weapons, and fighting > on. Also, Kim..I thought > of taking > a lot of pills, but I have read many articles where > this doesn't work, and a > person just > ends up in the hospital feeling worse than ever. So, > kiddo..hang(oops..no > pun intended!) > in here > with the rest > of us, and one day soon someone will find a way to > *slay* the Stills dragon! > > Go give your kids and hubby a big hug, and tell them > how much you love them, > then > please have a *good* night for a change. Oh yes, > give yourself a big hug > too! > > (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for > Kim))))))))))))))))))))) > > tricia > > > > > > > > Re: Please respond to Poll > on Pain Meds > > > > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > > read over the past few days, but have been unable > too > > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm > starting to > > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried > so > > hard not to take any today because I hate being in > a > > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago > and > > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel > I > > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in > bed > > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > > could kill myself and it not affect those I love > so > > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I > would. > > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would > never > > kill myself though because I know that this > feeling > > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be > able > > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. > I'm > > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't > remember > > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but > they > > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I > am > > taking meds for depression. Someone recently > wrote > > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my > first > > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need > to > > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > > could remember who wrote that....they were > replying to > > but there you go....I don't know who it was > but > > it was helpful. > > > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots > everyday. > > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine > is at > > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now > and > > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > > days I wake up and think I would love to go just > one > > day without taking all those pills. I can also > relate > > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and > blankets! > > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it > gives > > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > > > Tricia: > > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You > were so > > good to lie with him so that he could feel your > love > > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling > better > > and better all the time. Also that you for the > reply > > to my message about the connection I'm > experiencing > > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for > fibromyasia (I > > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > > something????? > > > > Sue: > > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to > get > > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to > him > > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do > it. > > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be > the > > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > > cried. I know I can't have more children > physically > > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that > I > > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got > the > > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > > > Terry: > > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so > much > > relief. > > > > Sue#2 > > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare > was > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2001 Report Share Posted August 3, 2001 Tricia: Thank you for your understanding and for not making me feel bad for having such thoughts about suicide. I can hear in your message that you understand what I mean. I did as advised and gave my family lots of love and appreciation last night. I'm starting to feel better. I mean I'm typing an email and I haven't even had a cup of coffee or prednisone yet Talk to you soon....With love, Kim --- Dennis & Tricia Looker wrote: > Kim, > > First off, I want to say " thank You " for the > condolences for our Willow > Wolf. > > Next..Kim, I know how difficult this has to be for > you. Of course you are > " tired. " > You are " tired " of waking up feeling sick and in > pain, and you are " tired " > of going > to bed and feeling sick and in pain, *and* you are > " tired " of forcing > yourself to > keep going day after day with this disease trying to > take over your life. > You will > be okay hon. I'm firmly believing that Dr. Cush > will help you to even > things out > a bit. > > Kill yourself?? Yeah, I know that feeling too. I'm > thinking many on this > site have > felt that way at one time or another. But, Kim..we > can't let the beast win. > I know > you really wouldn't do that because you couldn't > hurt those who love you so > much. > and I talked about hanging ourselves last > year, but we couldn't go > through > with it. I told her..(and it was my idea in the > first place..she wanted to > join me) I can > *not* stand anything tight around my neck and > also...I am *very* afraid of > heights! > So, we sort of threw that idea out. is doing > so much better handling > the dragon. > She's using some of the right weapons, and fighting > on. Also, Kim..I thought > of taking > a lot of pills, but I have read many articles where > this doesn't work, and a > person just > ends up in the hospital feeling worse than ever. So, > kiddo..hang(oops..no > pun intended!) > in here > with the rest > of us, and one day soon someone will find a way to > *slay* the Stills dragon! > > Go give your kids and hubby a big hug, and tell them > how much you love them, > then > please have a *good* night for a change. Oh yes, > give yourself a big hug > too! > > (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for > Kim))))))))))))))))))))) > > tricia > > > > > > > > Re: Please respond to Poll > on Pain Meds > > > > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > > read over the past few days, but have been unable > too > > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm > starting to > > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried > so > > hard not to take any today because I hate being in > a > > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago > and > > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel > I > > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in > bed > > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > > could kill myself and it not affect those I love > so > > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I > would. > > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would > never > > kill myself though because I know that this > feeling > > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be > able > > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. > I'm > > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't > remember > > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but > they > > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I > am > > taking meds for depression. Someone recently > wrote > > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my > first > > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need > to > > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > > could remember who wrote that....they were > replying to > > but there you go....I don't know who it was > but > > it was helpful. > > > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots > everyday. > > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine > is at > > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now > and > > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > > days I wake up and think I would love to go just > one > > day without taking all those pills. I can also > relate > > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and > blankets! > > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it > gives > > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > > > Tricia: > > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You > were so > > good to lie with him so that he could feel your > love > > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling > better > > and better all the time. Also that you for the > reply > > to my message about the connection I'm > experiencing > > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for > fibromyasia (I > > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > > something????? > > > > Sue: > > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to > get > > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to > him > > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do > it. > > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be > the > > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > > cried. I know I can't have more children > physically > > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that > I > > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got > the > > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > > > Terry: > > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so > much > > relief. > > > > Sue#2 > > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare > was > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2001 Report Share Posted August 3, 2001 Tricia: Thank you for your understanding and for not making me feel bad for having such thoughts about suicide. I can hear in your message that you understand what I mean. I did as advised and gave my family lots of love and appreciation last night. I'm starting to feel better. I mean I'm typing an email and I haven't even had a cup of coffee or prednisone yet Talk to you soon....With love, Kim --- Dennis & Tricia Looker wrote: > Kim, > > First off, I want to say " thank You " for the > condolences for our Willow > Wolf. > > Next..Kim, I know how difficult this has to be for > you. Of course you are > " tired. " > You are " tired " of waking up feeling sick and in > pain, and you are " tired " > of going > to bed and feeling sick and in pain, *and* you are > " tired " of forcing > yourself to > keep going day after day with this disease trying to > take over your life. > You will > be okay hon. I'm firmly believing that Dr. Cush > will help you to even > things out > a bit. > > Kill yourself?? Yeah, I know that feeling too. I'm > thinking many on this > site have > felt that way at one time or another. But, Kim..we > can't let the beast win. > I know > you really wouldn't do that because you couldn't > hurt those who love you so > much. > and I talked about hanging ourselves last > year, but we couldn't go > through > with it. I told her..(and it was my idea in the > first place..she wanted to > join me) I can > *not* stand anything tight around my neck and > also...I am *very* afraid of > heights! > So, we sort of threw that idea out. is doing > so much better handling > the dragon. > She's using some of the right weapons, and fighting > on. Also, Kim..I thought > of taking > a lot of pills, but I have read many articles where > this doesn't work, and a > person just > ends up in the hospital feeling worse than ever. So, > kiddo..hang(oops..no > pun intended!) > in here > with the rest > of us, and one day soon someone will find a way to > *slay* the Stills dragon! > > Go give your kids and hubby a big hug, and tell them > how much you love them, > then > please have a *good* night for a change. Oh yes, > give yourself a big hug > too! > > (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for > Kim))))))))))))))))))))) > > tricia > > > > > > > > Re: Please respond to Poll > on Pain Meds > > > > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > > read over the past few days, but have been unable > too > > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm > starting to > > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried > so > > hard not to take any today because I hate being in > a > > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago > and > > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel > I > > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in > bed > > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > > could kill myself and it not affect those I love > so > > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I > would. > > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would > never > > kill myself though because I know that this > feeling > > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be > able > > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. > I'm > > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't > remember > > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but > they > > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I > am > > taking meds for depression. Someone recently > wrote > > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my > first > > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need > to > > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > > could remember who wrote that....they were > replying to > > but there you go....I don't know who it was > but > > it was helpful. > > > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots > everyday. > > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine > is at > > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now > and > > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > > days I wake up and think I would love to go just > one > > day without taking all those pills. I can also > relate > > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and > blankets! > > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it > gives > > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > > > Tricia: > > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You > were so > > good to lie with him so that he could feel your > love > > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling > better > > and better all the time. Also that you for the > reply > > to my message about the connection I'm > experiencing > > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for > fibromyasia (I > > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > > something????? > > > > Sue: > > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to > get > > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to > him > > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do > it. > > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be > the > > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > > cried. I know I can't have more children > physically > > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that > I > > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got > the > > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > > > Terry: > > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so > much > > relief. > > > > Sue#2 > > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare > was > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2001 Report Share Posted August 3, 2001 Tricia: Thank you for your understanding and for not making me feel bad for having such thoughts about suicide. I can hear in your message that you understand what I mean. I did as advised and gave my family lots of love and appreciation last night. I'm starting to feel better. I mean I'm typing an email and I haven't even had a cup of coffee or prednisone yet Talk to you soon....With love, Kim --- Dennis & Tricia Looker wrote: > Kim, > > First off, I want to say " thank You " for the > condolences for our Willow > Wolf. > > Next..Kim, I know how difficult this has to be for > you. Of course you are > " tired. " > You are " tired " of waking up feeling sick and in > pain, and you are " tired " > of going > to bed and feeling sick and in pain, *and* you are > " tired " of forcing > yourself to > keep going day after day with this disease trying to > take over your life. > You will > be okay hon. I'm firmly believing that Dr. Cush > will help you to even > things out > a bit. > > Kill yourself?? Yeah, I know that feeling too. I'm > thinking many on this > site have > felt that way at one time or another. But, Kim..we > can't let the beast win. > I know > you really wouldn't do that because you couldn't > hurt those who love you so > much. > and I talked about hanging ourselves last > year, but we couldn't go > through > with it. I told her..(and it was my idea in the > first place..she wanted to > join me) I can > *not* stand anything tight around my neck and > also...I am *very* afraid of > heights! > So, we sort of threw that idea out. is doing > so much better handling > the dragon. > She's using some of the right weapons, and fighting > on. Also, Kim..I thought > of taking > a lot of pills, but I have read many articles where > this doesn't work, and a > person just > ends up in the hospital feeling worse than ever. So, > kiddo..hang(oops..no > pun intended!) > in here > with the rest > of us, and one day soon someone will find a way to > *slay* the Stills dragon! > > Go give your kids and hubby a big hug, and tell them > how much you love them, > then > please have a *good* night for a change. Oh yes, > give yourself a big hug > too! > > (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for > Kim))))))))))))))))))))) > > tricia > > > > > > > > Re: Please respond to Poll > on Pain Meds > > > > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > > read over the past few days, but have been unable > too > > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm > starting to > > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried > so > > hard not to take any today because I hate being in > a > > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago > and > > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel > I > > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in > bed > > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > > could kill myself and it not affect those I love > so > > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I > would. > > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would > never > > kill myself though because I know that this > feeling > > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be > able > > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. > I'm > > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't > remember > > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but > they > > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I > am > > taking meds for depression. Someone recently > wrote > > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my > first > > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need > to > > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > > could remember who wrote that....they were > replying to > > but there you go....I don't know who it was > but > > it was helpful. > > > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots > everyday. > > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine > is at > > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now > and > > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > > days I wake up and think I would love to go just > one > > day without taking all those pills. I can also > relate > > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and > blankets! > > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it > gives > > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > > > Tricia: > > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You > were so > > good to lie with him so that he could feel your > love > > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling > better > > and better all the time. Also that you for the > reply > > to my message about the connection I'm > experiencing > > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for > fibromyasia (I > > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > > something????? > > > > Sue: > > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to > get > > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to > him > > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do > it. > > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be > the > > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > > cried. I know I can't have more children > physically > > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that > I > > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got > the > > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > > > Terry: > > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so > much > > relief. > > > > Sue#2 > > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare > was > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2001 Report Share Posted August 3, 2001 Tricia: Thank you for your understanding and for not making me feel bad for having such thoughts about suicide. I can hear in your message that you understand what I mean. I did as advised and gave my family lots of love and appreciation last night. I'm starting to feel better. I mean I'm typing an email and I haven't even had a cup of coffee or prednisone yet Talk to you soon....With love, Kim --- Dennis & Tricia Looker wrote: > Kim, > > First off, I want to say " thank You " for the > condolences for our Willow > Wolf. > > Next..Kim, I know how difficult this has to be for > you. Of course you are > " tired. " > You are " tired " of waking up feeling sick and in > pain, and you are " tired " > of going > to bed and feeling sick and in pain, *and* you are > " tired " of forcing > yourself to > keep going day after day with this disease trying to > take over your life. > You will > be okay hon. I'm firmly believing that Dr. Cush > will help you to even > things out > a bit. > > Kill yourself?? Yeah, I know that feeling too. I'm > thinking many on this > site have > felt that way at one time or another. But, Kim..we > can't let the beast win. > I know > you really wouldn't do that because you couldn't > hurt those who love you so > much. > and I talked about hanging ourselves last > year, but we couldn't go > through > with it. I told her..(and it was my idea in the > first place..she wanted to > join me) I can > *not* stand anything tight around my neck and > also...I am *very* afraid of > heights! > So, we sort of threw that idea out. is doing > so much better handling > the dragon. > She's using some of the right weapons, and fighting > on. Also, Kim..I thought > of taking > a lot of pills, but I have read many articles where > this doesn't work, and a > person just > ends up in the hospital feeling worse than ever. So, > kiddo..hang(oops..no > pun intended!) > in here > with the rest > of us, and one day soon someone will find a way to > *slay* the Stills dragon! > > Go give your kids and hubby a big hug, and tell them > how much you love them, > then > please have a *good* night for a change. Oh yes, > give yourself a big hug > too! > > (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for > Kim))))))))))))))))))))) > > tricia > > > > > > > > Re: Please respond to Poll > on Pain Meds > > > > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > > read over the past few days, but have been unable > too > > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm > starting to > > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried > so > > hard not to take any today because I hate being in > a > > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago > and > > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel > I > > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in > bed > > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > > could kill myself and it not affect those I love > so > > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I > would. > > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would > never > > kill myself though because I know that this > feeling > > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be > able > > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. > I'm > > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't > remember > > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but > they > > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I > am > > taking meds for depression. Someone recently > wrote > > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my > first > > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need > to > > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > > could remember who wrote that....they were > replying to > > but there you go....I don't know who it was > but > > it was helpful. > > > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots > everyday. > > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine > is at > > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now > and > > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > > days I wake up and think I would love to go just > one > > day without taking all those pills. I can also > relate > > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and > blankets! > > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it > gives > > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > > > Tricia: > > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You > were so > > good to lie with him so that he could feel your > love > > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling > better > > and better all the time. Also that you for the > reply > > to my message about the connection I'm > experiencing > > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for > fibromyasia (I > > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > > something????? > > > > Sue: > > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to > get > > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to > him > > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do > it. > > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be > the > > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > > cried. I know I can't have more children > physically > > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that > I > > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got > the > > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > > > Terry: > > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so > much > > relief. > > > > Sue#2 > > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare > was > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2001 Report Share Posted August 3, 2001 Tricia: Thank you for your understanding and for not making me feel bad for having such thoughts about suicide. I can hear in your message that you understand what I mean. I did as advised and gave my family lots of love and appreciation last night. I'm starting to feel better. I mean I'm typing an email and I haven't even had a cup of coffee or prednisone yet Talk to you soon....With love, Kim --- Dennis & Tricia Looker wrote: > Kim, > > First off, I want to say " thank You " for the > condolences for our Willow > Wolf. > > Next..Kim, I know how difficult this has to be for > you. Of course you are > " tired. " > You are " tired " of waking up feeling sick and in > pain, and you are " tired " > of going > to bed and feeling sick and in pain, *and* you are > " tired " of forcing > yourself to > keep going day after day with this disease trying to > take over your life. > You will > be okay hon. I'm firmly believing that Dr. Cush > will help you to even > things out > a bit. > > Kill yourself?? Yeah, I know that feeling too. I'm > thinking many on this > site have > felt that way at one time or another. But, Kim..we > can't let the beast win. > I know > you really wouldn't do that because you couldn't > hurt those who love you so > much. > and I talked about hanging ourselves last > year, but we couldn't go > through > with it. I told her..(and it was my idea in the > first place..she wanted to > join me) I can > *not* stand anything tight around my neck and > also...I am *very* afraid of > heights! > So, we sort of threw that idea out. is doing > so much better handling > the dragon. > She's using some of the right weapons, and fighting > on. Also, Kim..I thought > of taking > a lot of pills, but I have read many articles where > this doesn't work, and a > person just > ends up in the hospital feeling worse than ever. So, > kiddo..hang(oops..no > pun intended!) > in here > with the rest > of us, and one day soon someone will find a way to > *slay* the Stills dragon! > > Go give your kids and hubby a big hug, and tell them > how much you love them, > then > please have a *good* night for a change. Oh yes, > give yourself a big hug > too! > > (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for > Kim))))))))))))))))))))) > > tricia > > > > > > > > Re: Please respond to Poll > on Pain Meds > > > > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > > read over the past few days, but have been unable > too > > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm > starting to > > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried > so > > hard not to take any today because I hate being in > a > > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago > and > > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel > I > > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in > bed > > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > > could kill myself and it not affect those I love > so > > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I > would. > > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would > never > > kill myself though because I know that this > feeling > > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be > able > > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. > I'm > > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't > remember > > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but > they > > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I > am > > taking meds for depression. Someone recently > wrote > > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my > first > > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need > to > > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > > could remember who wrote that....they were > replying to > > but there you go....I don't know who it was > but > > it was helpful. > > > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots > everyday. > > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine > is at > > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now > and > > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > > days I wake up and think I would love to go just > one > > day without taking all those pills. I can also > relate > > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and > blankets! > > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it > gives > > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > > > Tricia: > > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You > were so > > good to lie with him so that he could feel your > love > > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling > better > > and better all the time. Also that you for the > reply > > to my message about the connection I'm > experiencing > > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for > fibromyasia (I > > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > > something????? > > > > Sue: > > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to > get > > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to > him > > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do > it. > > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be > the > > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > > cried. I know I can't have more children > physically > > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that > I > > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got > the > > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > > > Terry: > > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so > much > > relief. > > > > Sue#2 > > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare > was > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2001 Report Share Posted August 3, 2001 Tricia: Thank you for your understanding and for not making me feel bad for having such thoughts about suicide. I can hear in your message that you understand what I mean. I did as advised and gave my family lots of love and appreciation last night. I'm starting to feel better. I mean I'm typing an email and I haven't even had a cup of coffee or prednisone yet Talk to you soon....With love, Kim --- Dennis & Tricia Looker wrote: > Kim, > > First off, I want to say " thank You " for the > condolences for our Willow > Wolf. > > Next..Kim, I know how difficult this has to be for > you. Of course you are > " tired. " > You are " tired " of waking up feeling sick and in > pain, and you are " tired " > of going > to bed and feeling sick and in pain, *and* you are > " tired " of forcing > yourself to > keep going day after day with this disease trying to > take over your life. > You will > be okay hon. I'm firmly believing that Dr. Cush > will help you to even > things out > a bit. > > Kill yourself?? Yeah, I know that feeling too. I'm > thinking many on this > site have > felt that way at one time or another. But, Kim..we > can't let the beast win. > I know > you really wouldn't do that because you couldn't > hurt those who love you so > much. > and I talked about hanging ourselves last > year, but we couldn't go > through > with it. I told her..(and it was my idea in the > first place..she wanted to > join me) I can > *not* stand anything tight around my neck and > also...I am *very* afraid of > heights! > So, we sort of threw that idea out. is doing > so much better handling > the dragon. > She's using some of the right weapons, and fighting > on. Also, Kim..I thought > of taking > a lot of pills, but I have read many articles where > this doesn't work, and a > person just > ends up in the hospital feeling worse than ever. So, > kiddo..hang(oops..no > pun intended!) > in here > with the rest > of us, and one day soon someone will find a way to > *slay* the Stills dragon! > > Go give your kids and hubby a big hug, and tell them > how much you love them, > then > please have a *good* night for a change. Oh yes, > give yourself a big hug > too! > > (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for > Kim))))))))))))))))))))) > > tricia > > > > > > > > Re: Please respond to Poll > on Pain Meds > > > > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > > read over the past few days, but have been unable > too > > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm > starting to > > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried > so > > hard not to take any today because I hate being in > a > > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago > and > > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel > I > > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in > bed > > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > > could kill myself and it not affect those I love > so > > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I > would. > > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would > never > > kill myself though because I know that this > feeling > > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be > able > > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. > I'm > > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't > remember > > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but > they > > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I > am > > taking meds for depression. Someone recently > wrote > > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my > first > > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need > to > > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > > could remember who wrote that....they were > replying to > > but there you go....I don't know who it was > but > > it was helpful. > > > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots > everyday. > > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine > is at > > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now > and > > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > > days I wake up and think I would love to go just > one > > day without taking all those pills. I can also > relate > > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and > blankets! > > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it > gives > > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > > > Tricia: > > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You > were so > > good to lie with him so that he could feel your > love > > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling > better > > and better all the time. Also that you for the > reply > > to my message about the connection I'm > experiencing > > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for > fibromyasia (I > > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > > something????? > > > > Sue: > > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to > get > > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to > him > > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do > it. > > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be > the > > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > > cried. I know I can't have more children > physically > > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that > I > > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got > the > > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > > > Terry: > > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so > much > > relief. > > > > Sue#2 > > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare > was > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2001 Report Share Posted August 3, 2001 Tricia: Thank you for your understanding and for not making me feel bad for having such thoughts about suicide. I can hear in your message that you understand what I mean. I did as advised and gave my family lots of love and appreciation last night. I'm starting to feel better. I mean I'm typing an email and I haven't even had a cup of coffee or prednisone yet Talk to you soon....With love, Kim --- Dennis & Tricia Looker wrote: > Kim, > > First off, I want to say " thank You " for the > condolences for our Willow > Wolf. > > Next..Kim, I know how difficult this has to be for > you. Of course you are > " tired. " > You are " tired " of waking up feeling sick and in > pain, and you are " tired " > of going > to bed and feeling sick and in pain, *and* you are > " tired " of forcing > yourself to > keep going day after day with this disease trying to > take over your life. > You will > be okay hon. I'm firmly believing that Dr. Cush > will help you to even > things out > a bit. > > Kill yourself?? Yeah, I know that feeling too. I'm > thinking many on this > site have > felt that way at one time or another. But, Kim..we > can't let the beast win. > I know > you really wouldn't do that because you couldn't > hurt those who love you so > much. > and I talked about hanging ourselves last > year, but we couldn't go > through > with it. I told her..(and it was my idea in the > first place..she wanted to > join me) I can > *not* stand anything tight around my neck and > also...I am *very* afraid of > heights! > So, we sort of threw that idea out. is doing > so much better handling > the dragon. > She's using some of the right weapons, and fighting > on. Also, Kim..I thought > of taking > a lot of pills, but I have read many articles where > this doesn't work, and a > person just > ends up in the hospital feeling worse than ever. So, > kiddo..hang(oops..no > pun intended!) > in here > with the rest > of us, and one day soon someone will find a way to > *slay* the Stills dragon! > > Go give your kids and hubby a big hug, and tell them > how much you love them, > then > please have a *good* night for a change. Oh yes, > give yourself a big hug > too! > > (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for > Kim))))))))))))))))))))) > > tricia > > > > > > > > Re: Please respond to Poll > on Pain Meds > > > > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > > read over the past few days, but have been unable > too > > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm > starting to > > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried > so > > hard not to take any today because I hate being in > a > > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago > and > > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel > I > > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in > bed > > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > > could kill myself and it not affect those I love > so > > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I > would. > > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would > never > > kill myself though because I know that this > feeling > > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be > able > > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. > I'm > > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't > remember > > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but > they > > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I > am > > taking meds for depression. Someone recently > wrote > > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my > first > > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need > to > > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > > could remember who wrote that....they were > replying to > > but there you go....I don't know who it was > but > > it was helpful. > > > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots > everyday. > > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine > is at > > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now > and > > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > > days I wake up and think I would love to go just > one > > day without taking all those pills. I can also > relate > > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and > blankets! > > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it > gives > > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > > > Tricia: > > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You > were so > > good to lie with him so that he could feel your > love > > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling > better > > and better all the time. Also that you for the > reply > > to my message about the connection I'm > experiencing > > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for > fibromyasia (I > > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > > something????? > > > > Sue: > > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to > get > > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to > him > > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do > it. > > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be > the > > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > > cried. I know I can't have more children > physically > > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that > I > > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got > the > > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > > > Terry: > > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so > much > > relief. > > > > Sue#2 > > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare > was > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2001 Report Share Posted August 3, 2001 Good morning Kim, I just started checking messages (and I have my coffee!) sort of a ritual for me now. Read my mail and have a coffee. I am so happy that you are feeling a bit better! *Thoughts* of suicide are quite normal when a chronic, painful illness is being dealt with. As long as that's where they stay..in thought only. Kim, I have learned over the years to love myself even though I hate the disease. I wasn't putting a division between the beast and myself for many years. I sort of blamed *me* for being sick..I don't know why..but ..we have to love ourselves, and then it's somewhat easier to cope with this illness. You have so much love for your family and others, I'm sure you love yourself enough to keep the suicide thing to only a *thought* one that will get less and less as time goes on. So..don't feel guilty either. Keep us posted about your visit with Dr. Cush..whenis that again?? Hugs, tricia p.s. oh, oh..I hope this only turns up once..or my puter is in trouble right?? Norton is usually on the ball though. Re: Please respond to Poll > > on Pain Meds > > > > > > > Hi All! I would like to reply to some emails I've > > > read over the past few days, but have been unable > > too > > > as I have been in the midst of a flare. I have a > > > major flare each month with my cycle. I'm > > starting to > > > feel better but only because of pain med. I tried > > so > > > hard not to take any today because I hate being in > > a > > > " fog " but I had to break down about an hour ago > > and > > > take some. I want to be honest....because I feel > > I > > > can here amoung those that understand. I laid in > > bed > > > tonight and cried and cried and thought that if I > > > could kill myself and it not affect those I love > > so > > > much (i.e. children, husband, and parents), I > > would. > > > I'm tired. Plain and simple I'm tired. I would > > never > > > kill myself though because I know that this > > feeling > > > will pass and I have faith that Dr. Cush will be > > able > > > to help me. I just am having a really hard time. > > I'm > > > 31 and feel 90. My body aches and I can't > > remember > > > things that I should be able to remember. I mean > > > conversations I've had with people etc... It's so > > > embarrassing and frustrating. Thank you for > > > listening. I would go visit a talk doctor but > > they > > > would truly understand. Not like you all do. I > > am > > > taking meds for depression. Someone recently > > wrote > > > that the first year is the hardest. I'm in my > > first > > > year and that gave me so much hope. I really need > > to > > > get the right combo of medication. I really wish I > > > could remember who wrote that....they were > > replying to > > > but there you go....I don't know who it was > > but > > > it was helpful. > > > > > > : I can't imagine giving myself shots > > everyday. > > > You (and ) are so fortunate to have such > > > wonderful and supportive husbands (not that mine > > is at > > > all bad). I can't blame you for skipping one now > > and > > > then...not that I'm encouraging it but I know some > > > days I wake up and think I would love to go just > > one > > > day without taking all those pills. I can also > > relate > > > to your fever....sheeding of the clothes and > > blankets! > > > I'm so sorry you have to go through that but it > > gives > > > me comfort to know I'm not the only one. > > > > > > Tricia: > > > I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your > > > dog. It's very much like loosing a child. You > > were so > > > good to lie with him so that he could feel your > > love > > > and I'm sure he found comfort it that. > > > > > > Thank you for the update on the Meth as I'm > > > anticipating my Rheumy trying Methatrexate (my > > > spelling is the worst). I hope you are feeling > > better > > > and better all the time. Also that you for the > > reply > > > to my message about the connection I'm > > experiencing > > > with my cycle. My Rheumy tested me for > > fibromyasia (I > > > thought I had that also) and he said I didn't. I > > > guess there are some pressure points they touch or > > > something????? > > > > > > Sue: > > > I went to my OBGYN for the consultation visit to > > get > > > my tubes tied. As soon as I started talking to > > him > > > about it I broke down in tears....so he won't do > > it. > > > He suggested the IUD. So, I guess that will be > > the > > > way I go for a while anyway. I'm not sure why I > > > cried. I know I can't have more children > > physically > > > or financially???? I think I'm just to emotional > > > right now. I'm still dealing with accepting that > > I > > > have AOSD. It's only been since May that I got > > the > > > diagnosis and I'm having a hard time with it. > > > > > > Terry: > > > Congrats on the SSDI!!!!! That must bring you so > > much > > > relief. > > > > > > Sue#2 > > > I'm so happy to hear that your most recent flare > > was > > > === message truncated === > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2001 Report Share Posted October 19, 2001 Please see my website for instrctions on how to order the video...I am picking up 20 copies tomorrow and will begin to mail them out. http://www.kimdaves.com Thanks, ~love kim PS. The tape is in black and white and It's very long and thus would make a huge file...too big I think to be posted. There is also patient information and I'm thinking that I may need to keep closer tabs on who is viewing etc... Kim Kim, I hit the wrong button, again. And I'm the one going to computer school! LOL I am interested in the tape. Could you send me you private e-mail address again so I can e-mail you and tell you I'm interested it the Tape? LOL It's been a long day. Here's an idea. Maybe I can talk to my Instructor and I could get the tape posted to the site as a project for class. That is if we can't come up with someone within the group who can do it. That way we can do it for free and I can possibly get extra credit for it. What do you think? I think it's awesome and very typical of the person you are that you are doing this. You always come thru. Just Dance, Bridget __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.