Guest guest Posted October 11, 2004 Report Share Posted October 11, 2004 At 12:14 AM 10/11/04 +0200, Inger Lorelei wrote: > >Awww! He really does sound like a great mate. I'm so glad to hear people say things like that here! On other aspie lists (I won't name them) I described him exactly the same way I've described him here but people all ganged up and told me that he was abusive towards me because he refused to accept AS as a real condition. (Apparently, words matter more than how someone is treated???) It was very stressful for me and, after a while, I started to wonder if maybe he really were abusive. If so many people were telling me so, mightn't it be true and I be blinded to the truth as they were telling me? People on those lists, and especially on one list in particular, put a lot of pressure on me to leave him and find an aspie partner instead. One woman even admitted that she thought about trying to set me up with a man until she decided that she liked him herself and so she became his girlfriend instead. After all the stress and trouble about my relationship on other lists, it's so nice to hear fellow aspies affirm my choice in mate! It might give him a brighter impression of the aspie community, too, if I mention to him that I joined a new list where people don't think he's a terrible ogre! :-) He was beginning to get an (understandably!) dim view of the general aspie community after so long of seeing me stressed out and asking why, only to find out that I was dealing with him being attacked in groups that he's not even welcome to join (because he's NT) to defend himself. Sparrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2004 Report Share Posted October 11, 2004 >> Inger: Awww! He really does sound like a great mate. > Sparrow: I'm so glad to hear people say things like that here! > On other aspie lists (I won't name them) I described him exactly the same way I've described him here but people all ganged up and told me that he was abusive towards me because he refused to accept AS as a real condition. (Apparently, words matter more than how someone is treated???) Bizarre! > It was very stressful for me and, after a while, I started to wonder if maybe he really were abusive. If so many people were telling me so, mightn't it be true and I be blinded to the truth as they were telling me? I really hate it when people do that. Why are they so keen on screwing up other people's relationships? Especially when you've found one that seems to accept, understand and genuinely care for you? > People on those lists, and especially on one list in particular, put a lot of pressure on me to leave him and find an aspie partner instead. One woman even admitted that she thought about trying to set me up with a man until she decided that she liked him herself and so she became his girlfriend instead. And such people you consider worth taking seriously? > After all the stress and trouble about my relationship on other lists, > it's so nice to hear fellow aspies affirm my choice in mate! If you've found yourself a wonderful NT man, how can one do anything but congratulate? > It might give him a brighter impression of the aspie community, too, if I mention to him that I joined a new list where people don't think he's a terrible ogre! :-) He was beginning to get an (understandably!) dim view of the general aspie community after so long of seeing me stressed out and asking why, only to find out that I was dealing with him being attacked in groups that he's not even welcome to join (because he's NT) to defend himself. Sounds very similar to narrow-minded racism to me. Hope you're not wasting your time in such lists. Inger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2004 Report Share Posted October 11, 2004 At 12:44 AM 10/11/04 +0200, Inger Lorelei wrote: >Sounds very similar to narrow-minded racism to me. Hope you're not wasting >your time in such lists. Once I realized how much damage it was doing me to be around those people, I left. I like this group much better! I was afraid at first that it would be more of the same that I've experienced elsewhere and that all the aspie communities would be the same. But I was very pleasantly surprised! This group has something going for it that no other aspie group I've participated in has. An honest, real *community* -- not just the name " community " , but the real spirit of it. Sparrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2004 Report Share Posted October 11, 2004 At 12:06 AM 10/11/04 -0000, windracer123 wrote: > > >I agree. he really does sound like a wonderful man. My husband is >willing to accept me and I accept him. We accept each other the way >we are without trying to change each other. Sparrow, it's a real >shame people are attacking your partner. He certaintly doesn't >deserve that treatment. To me, it sounds like he loves you a lot. Thank you. And yes, I think he does. He doesn't say the words " I love you " very often, but I can see them in the things he does and the way he treats me. Of course we have our disagreements and even arguments sometimes. What couple doesn't? But I can actually picture myself growing old with him and I've never felt that way with anyone else I've been with. I'm glad to hear that you have a wonderful husband, too! Having someone who cares makes a big difference in my life. I once told my partner that I liked being with him, " because being with you is so comfortable, it's like being alone. " And he understood that! And said he felt the same way. Sparrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2004 Report Share Posted October 12, 2004 Sparrow, That makes no sense to me! If he accepts YOU the way you are, what difference does it make if he does not accept the LABEL? IMO it is a way to describe a person and the person’s possible needs in an abbreviated way! Looking around, it isn’t very accurate either... we are all so different... all I have to do is look around my own house to find that is true lol! Wendi Re: Re: Flicker At 12:14 AM 10/11/04 +0200, Inger Lorelei wrote: > >Awww! He really does sound like a great mate. I'm so glad to hear people say things like that here! On other aspie lists (I won't name them) I described him exactly the same way I've described him here but people all ganged up and told me that he was abusive towards me because he refused to accept AS as a real condition. (Apparently, words matter more than how someone is treated???) It was very stressful for me and, after a while, I started to wonder if maybe he really were abusive. If so many people were telling me so, mightn't it be true and I be blinded to the truth as they were telling me? People on those lists, and especially on one list in particular, put a lot of pressure on me to leave him and find an aspie partner instead. One woman even admitted that she thought about trying to set me up with a man until she decided that she liked him herself and so she became his girlfriend instead. After all the stress and trouble about my relationship on other lists, it's so nice to hear fellow aspies affirm my choice in mate! It might give him a brighter impression of the aspie community, too, if I mention to him that I joined a new list where people don't think he's a terrible ogre! :-) He was beginning to get an (understandably!) dim view of the general aspie community after so long of seeing me stressed out and asking why, only to find out that I was dealing with him being attacked in groups that he's not even welcome to join (because he's NT) to defend himself. Sparrow FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. Always remember that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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