members

[Guest guest]

Dear Friends,

First of all I want to thank for acting quickly to block a post which was sent to Sydband. To those who receive email mail from the site, you would have received this mail, and to those who get the digest it is not there.

Briefly the content of that email was a personal attack from a member to a member of this group. There is a history of a long running feud between these two members. The reasons for this are unknown to me and hopefully will stay that way. Quite frankly I am not interested in knowing. There are far more important issues to worry about in life than two people having a go at each other.

When this group was formed - it was started with the clear understanding that everyone would have integrity, would behave with maturity and would show their self respect by being respectful to each other. I did not want to bring in a list of rules citing what behaviour would be acceptable and what behaviour would not be tolerated. I believe that we are all adults, and know how we would like to be treated and in turn will treat each other with the same dignity.

The world is made up of so many different types of people, and I am going to use the symbolism of flowers. There are showy beautiful flowers that beckon to us and remind us of wonderful times gone by. There are smaller flowers that are hardy and will flower in the hardest of circumstances. Other flowers will grow in the most adverse places, clinging onto the sides of mountains to defy the odds that they have been dealt in life. The prickly cacti have their place, beautiful to look at but you daren't touch them. Even the Venus fly catcher with her dreadful smell to some is alluring and hypnotising to those who like the smell of rotting flesh. All these flowers have there place in nature. And so it is with people.

We all have our place and lives to live according to the values and morals that we have adopted. We tend to form bonds with those who think like us, who respect us and accept us as we are.

Occasionally we are sent teachers of another kind. There are people who make us furious, who do things we disapprove of, who behave abominably and who are not what we want in our lives. Instead of bad mouthing and wasting precious energy on them we can take a back seat and watch how they operate, and let them teach us precious lessons. If we are able to do that we will see that they have been sent to us as teachers. How else would we learn about disrespect, lack of integrity, how to break confidences, trusts, how to blacken your reputation, how to belittle yourself, how to be an idiot and so on. These are painful teachers but necessary teachers.

The lesson of today's attack on a member was a lesson of intolerance and arrogance. If these are traits you wish to aspire to then you would have applauded the email, if not then you would have been as saddened as I was to see this kind of behaviour on this site.

I do not wish to bring in guidelines for behaviour on this site - this is as abhorrent to me as apartheid was in Southern Africa. I believe in the common goodness in all of you and know that you will strive to keep this site as it was meant to be.

If you are not able to control your angry outbursts and flaming this is not the place for you to be - this site has proved that it is a safe space with enormous love, kindness and respect. And I will do my damness to keep it that way.

I do not wish to ban anyone as this site. Personally I believe this does not solve problems and I can only hope that the inner voice in both of these members will whisper reason and sanity in this volatile situation. It takes a very courageous person to let petty issues go. I believe that and Leanne have that strength and will come to the conclusion to acknowledge that there are common goodness's in each other.

In peace - always,

Ghyll

May all your weeds be wildflowers