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dearest Sergej! take yr questions to Jung n what he might say.

All i can tender is a few thoughts to consider:

yr beloved grandfather has gone to HIS rest, as must we all. Each soul has

his/her own agenda w/Spirit n yr love of him can only be a blessing to him.

2. yr " fears " are truly projections, ways yr ego is turning on itself to

blame itself. If u can, meditate, go to a holy place w/built up vibrations, n

offer them up.

3. As u may know, i lost my greatest love, my dearest friend, my husband

Walter, n the help i have found within myself is that everytime i feel that

great empty space where the warm being of himself was, i stop n fill it

w/gratitude for all the love, fun, wisdom, kindness that he was n IS!

i remain suffused by his love n everything i do or accomplish in the days

that remain to me, he is doing w/me. he is encapsulated joyfully in my heart.

i can feel no guilt or blame because i loved him at all times, in all

places, n hopefully for all time.

4. Grandparents generally are givers, not takers, n yr love for them shows

how dearly u appreciated them n so try replacing gratitude for fear. they

were older n bigger than u. if it helps write out a tribute to them. n

remember 'perfect love casteth out fear'.

5. this pain u are suffering will only make u more sensitive to the pains of

others - i would not be able to write these words had i not experienced

that pain n somehow felt the comfort coming fr him. I had always understood

that one shld not keep a departed one earthbound by clinging grief. so when

my Polar Bear died, i tried n prayed that he shld be free to do whatever came

next. Well, bec of stroke, i had occasion to go to a healer n this topic

came up. She looked at me n said, " But did u ever ask HIM what HE WANTED TO

DO? " that hadn't even occurred to me! i burst into tears of laughter n relief

n then - bel it or not - i saw that she had a stuffed polar bear on the floor

in the corner!:}

I think what i'm trying to say kindly is turn fr thinking ab yrself n being

so negative to considering what tr grandpa would say to u n i strongly

suspect that wld put an end to yr fears n give u an equivalent rush of energy

to carry on n transmit that love.

in any case, dear Sergej, i send u all the love n compassion that this old

babuschka can send u. yavash ljublu!:}

it was so cold today on poopy walk, i wore my Russian fur hat w/earflaps fr

Moscow. n was wondering what they are called?

big HUG!

Great-grandmother aoh!

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Dear Friends,

I am sorry to bother you with a personal question...

But I desperately need your wisdom…

During this year I've been struggling with some very sad events in my life,

that (among others) includes losses of my two grandmothers...

Today my grandfather has died...

Today, I have three fears... My first fear is, that this is a punishment for

something that I did (or did not) in this life... My second fear is, that

somebody put the evil eye on me and my family... My third fear is, that this

is myself who project all these fears in life... in a paranoid horror " Who

will be the next? " ...

My rational mind tries to tell me that this is a natural process, and the

fact that all these events are happening within the short period of time is

simple a coincidence, but my irrational mind tries to see some meaning...

The " meaningful coincidence " ... The " synchronicities " ... They are frightful

because my rational mind can find only three explanations... These are my

three fears... Again...

I don't know how to break this circle of reasoning...

My question is: " Does anybody know? "

Please!

Sergej.

P.S. While writing this letter my computer has crashed… three times.

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Dear Sergej,

At 09:44 PM 11/8/99 GMT, you wrote:

>

>

>Dear Friends,

>

>I am sorry to bother you with a personal question...

>But I desperately need your wisdom…

>

>During this year I've been struggling with some very sad events in my life,

>that (among others) includes losses of my two grandmothers...

>Today my grandfather has died...

>

>Today, I have three fears... My first fear is, that this is a punishment for

>something that I did (or did not) in this life... My second fear is, that

>somebody put the evil eye on me and my family... My third fear is, that this

>is myself who project all these fears in life... in a paranoid horror " Who

>will be the next? " ...

>

>My rational mind tries to tell me that this is a natural process, and the

>fact that all these events are happening within the short period of time is

>simple a coincidence, but my irrational mind tries to see some meaning...

>The " meaningful coincidence " ... The " synchronicities " ... They are frightful

>because my rational mind can find only three explanations... These are my

>three fears... Again...

>

>I don't know how to break this circle of reasoning...

>My question is: " Does anybody know? "

>

>Please!

>

>Sergej.

>

>P.S. While writing this letter my computer has crashed… three times.

>

Please accept my condolences on the death of your grandfather. Know that

our prayers are with you. As you already know, death is not unnatural - it

will come for us all in due time. As a natural process and event, I don't

see how it could be construed as a punishment - possibly you feel guilty

for something you did or didn't do (forgive me for getting psychological on

you), but my intuition is that your grandfather would forgive you.

As for synchronicity, it is a term that is thrown about loosely on this

list and elsewhere, but in fact there *is* such a thing as (meaningless)

coincidence; coincidences are common, and not all coincidences reflect

synchronicity. Synchronicity implies meaningful connection between events

that is not causal in the usual sense, but it also that is *unlikely to

occur by chance* to a statistically significant degree. Not all

coincidences that have meaning *to us* are in fact instances of synchronicity.

I remember that when my mother's father died, she was in Europe, and she

thought for a time that perhaps her traveling brought about the death - she

felt guilty for not being there, I think; this kind of regression may be

natural for us human beings in such trying times, but it is magical

thinking nonetheless.

As for the evil eye and any notion that we can kill with projections, I

frankly don't believe in them - if looks could kill I would have been dead

a thousand times, and if thoughts could kill all my enemies would be dead.

Please don't let certain Jungian concepts lure you into primitive thinking

or magical thinking. I don't know the situation, of course, by I suspect

that your grandparents died because they were old. My own computer has

crashed repeatedly over the past week, once when I was just completing a

post (unsaved, of course) to which I had devoted much effort. If you are

using Microsoft, I suspect that your computer problems, like mine, can be

blamed on Bill Gates rather than on anything more occult. I have been

trying to move over to Linux.

I realize that the above considerations do not assuage your grief, but I

hope that they are of some help. Again, please accept my condolences and

prayers.

Best regards,

Dan Waktins

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