Re: obsessions?

December 22, 2004

My biggest obsession was and really still is Roleplaying games. Dungeons and Dragons is a long time favorite as is Shadowrun and to a lesser extent GURPS, Battletech and Traveller. My focus will rotate between these games. Sometimes I will stay focussed on D & D for a month or two and other times maybe just a few days. It is like that with all of them.

The big problem with D & D is the complexity of the new system. One comes up against the tyrrany of choices between the character classes, races, skills, and worst of all the feats. There are so many feats (things you can choose for your character that gives them certain advantages or abilities) but you can only have so many of them. It makes it hard to decide what to do, so hard that the process can grind to a halt. Also the revised system of experience points makes character advancement much too fast if you ask me. Lastly, the game has taken a darker turn. It used to be that being evil was strongly discouraged by the writers and indeed if you play realistically, it would be very hard to play evil characters. The latest edition however has many evil character classes and clearly is more "morally neutral" or even slightly leaning toward the evil side.

Other obsessions come and go. They are usually something that catches my fancy for a while and I will buy books on it and such. I too have anime DVDs but I don't often watch them. One of my favorites though is the Record of Lodoss War series. That series was based on Dungeons and Dragons rules, and I have to admit a crush on Deedlit. I've actually got a few Lodoss War figures, one of them being her and is standing right next to my monitor.

December 22, 2004

Ilah:

> The idea of obsessions is one that I am trying to work through.

By way of background, when I was growing up my mother tried to

supress/discourage my obsession. If my mother thought that I was

too obsessed with something, she would make me stop or I would have

to give up whatever it was I was currently involved with till my

obsession had died down. I am 36 now and only recently found out

about AS. I believe I have strong AS tendancies, but I don't think

I could ever get an offical diagnosis because my mom pressured me to

repress my natural tendancies. Now I am in the process of allowing

myself to be more like my natural self.

Great. I too have had to learn to become less inhibited. Now I'm thoroughly

enjoying being myself and having fun with my various quirks.

> I have hobbies that could be concidered obsessive, but the word

obsessive has very negative connotation to me. I am wondering what

would be the best way for my mental health to approach this. I

could use terms other than obsessive to describe my strong

interests. I could try to change the way I think of obsession so

that I think of obsession as something that isn't neccessarily bad.

I (and many of my Aspie friends) simply call our special interestes " special

interests " . I've never considered them obsessions. I'm hyperfocusing, which

is a great thing to be able to do. Usually, what I hyperfocus on, comes out

very useful to me one way or the other. So why put a negative label on

something that's a gift? On the other hand, you can just use the word

" obsession " as meaning something positive and fun, like Greg and others here

do.

> Or I could just deny that my interests reach the level of

obsession. I mean just because I own well over 100 DVDs of anime

and I might have to get another bookcase to accomodate the manga

collection, that doesn't mean I'm obsessed, does it? And just

because I have a costume to dress up like an anime character at

Otakon (anime convention) doesn't mean I'm obsessed does it? And

just because I special ordered the authentic hakama and sandles and

special tami socks from Japan for my costume doesn't mean I'm

obsessed does it? Hmmm....perhaps I should stop here.

:-D

> I also knit quite a bit and my husband has called it compulsive,

but he doesn't seem to mind. I often knit while I watch TV and

sometimes when I talk to people. I have difficulty sitting still

and if I don't have my knitting I get pretty fidgety. It could

probably be concidered a type of stimming as well. Knitting helps

me relax. I also spend quite a bit of time thinking about knitting

and yarn. I love to browse internet sites for good yarn deals. The

temptation is strong to always buy more yarn even though I already

have yarn on hand for plenty of projects. I have a very large

wooden chest that I have decided will be my limit. When it is full,

no more yarn till space is made by using up yarn. Concidering the

chest could probably hold about 50 pounds of yarn and I can knit

between 1/2 and 1 pound a month depending on the yarn thickness,

this is a fairly generous limit. Sometimes I keep knitting even

after my fingers have gotten sore from knitting too long.

As I think I've said a couple of times here and there, knitting is great for

exercising connection between hemispheres, honing fine motor skills,

relieving excess ADHD tension - and getting something useful produced at the

same time. How could that not be a good thing?

> I could see the negative side if obsession makes you spend the rent

money on your hobbie or you are too obsessed to do other things like

work or study. However, my obsessions do not interfer with my life

and my husband and I (thankfully he shares my interest in manga and

anime) budget the expense. Priorities are funny things. If a women

spends $200 dollars on clothes that she doesn't really need, that is

concidered normal.

Yup. Being " normal " is not about being normal, but about being like everyone

else, even if their behavior is illogical and irresponsible.

> If I spend that much on anime/manga, people regard it as obsessive.

Right. You are very perceptive, Ilah!

> My obsessions are within my budget, don't hurt anyone and give me lots of

> pleasure.

Like mine.

> I don't see how that could be wrong, but (perhaps because of my mother) I

> still harbor this feeling that something is wrong with being too obsessed

> with things.

Hope you'll be able to ditch that illogical guilt trip soon and just enjoy!

Inger

December 23, 2004

Thanks for the support.

I believe that words have a lot of power, especially words we use to

describe ourselves and the things we do. One technique I have

worked with a tiny bit is to redefine the meaning of words. So for

the word obsession, I might redefine it as " extrodinary commitment

and focus. " So that way when I hear the word used it will not

provoke a negative reaction in me.

I am reminded that there are two ways to look at mental health. The

first way is to just look at the symptoms and see if the match up

with anything in the big book of psychology or to measure how far

the person if from the norm. The second way is to look at whether

or not the person is suffering from their symptoms. Say for example

a person heard voices, but the voices were offering words of

encouragement. By the first way of thinking the person is crazy, by

the second way of thinking there is nothing wrong with the person.

Ilah

> Ilah:

> > The idea of obsessions is one that I am trying to work through.

> By way of background, when I was growing up my mother tried to

> supress/discourage my obsession. If my mother thought that I was

> too obsessed with something, she would make me stop or I would have

> to give up whatever it was I was currently involved with till my

> obsession had died down. I am 36 now and only recently found out

> about AS. I believe I have strong AS tendancies, but I don't think

> I could ever get an offical diagnosis because my mom pressured me

to

> repress my natural tendancies. Now I am in the process of allowing

> myself to be more like my natural self.

>

> Great. I too have had to learn to become less inhibited. Now I'm

thoroughly

> enjoying being myself and having fun with my various quirks.

>

> > I have hobbies that could be concidered obsessive, but the word

> obsessive has very negative connotation to me. I am wondering what

> would be the best way for my mental health to approach this. I

> could use terms other than obsessive to describe my strong

> interests. I could try to change the way I think of obsession so

> that I think of obsession as something that isn't neccessarily bad.

>

> I (and many of my Aspie friends) simply call our special

interestes " special

> interests " . I've never considered them obsessions. I'm

hyperfocusing, which

> is a great thing to be able to do. Usually, what I hyperfocus on,

comes out

> very useful to me one way or the other. So why put a negative

label on

> something that's a gift? On the other hand, you can just use the

word

> " obsession " as meaning something positive and fun, like Greg and

others here

> do.

>

> > Or I could just deny that my interests reach the level of

> obsession. I mean just because I own well over 100 DVDs of anime

> and I might have to get another bookcase to accomodate the manga

> collection, that doesn't mean I'm obsessed, does it? And just

> because I have a costume to dress up like an anime character at

> Otakon (anime convention) doesn't mean I'm obsessed does it? And

> just because I special ordered the authentic hakama and sandles and

> special tami socks from Japan for my costume doesn't mean I'm

> obsessed does it? Hmmm....perhaps I should stop here.

>

> :-D

>

> > I also knit quite a bit and my husband has called it compulsive,

> but he doesn't seem to mind. I often knit while I watch TV and

> sometimes when I talk to people. I have difficulty sitting still

> and if I don't have my knitting I get pretty fidgety. It could

> probably be concidered a type of stimming as well. Knitting helps

> me relax. I also spend quite a bit of time thinking about knitting

> and yarn. I love to browse internet sites for good yarn deals.

The

> temptation is strong to always buy more yarn even though I already

> have yarn on hand for plenty of projects. I have a very large

> wooden chest that I have decided will be my limit. When it is

full,

> no more yarn till space is made by using up yarn. Concidering the

> chest could probably hold about 50 pounds of yarn and I can knit

> between 1/2 and 1 pound a month depending on the yarn thickness,

> this is a fairly generous limit. Sometimes I keep knitting even

> after my fingers have gotten sore from knitting too long.

>

> As I think I've said a couple of times here and there, knitting is

great for

> exercising connection between hemispheres, honing fine motor

skills,

> relieving excess ADHD tension - and getting something useful

produced at the

> same time. How could that not be a good thing?

>

> > I could see the negative side if obsession makes you spend the

rent

> money on your hobbie or you are too obsessed to do other things

like

> work or study. However, my obsessions do not interfer with my life

> and my husband and I (thankfully he shares my interest in manga and

> anime) budget the expense. Priorities are funny things. If a

women

> spends $200 dollars on clothes that she doesn't really need, that

is

> concidered normal.

>

> Yup. Being " normal " is not about being normal, but about being

like everyone

> else, even if their behavior is illogical and irresponsible.

>

> > If I spend that much on anime/manga, people regard it as

obsessive.

>

> Right. You are very perceptive, Ilah!

>

> > My obsessions are within my budget, don't hurt anyone and give

me lots of

> > pleasure.

>

> Like mine.

>

> > I don't see how that could be wrong, but (perhaps because of my

mother) I

> > still harbor this feeling that something is wrong with being too

obsessed

> > with things.

>

> Hope you'll be able to ditch that illogical guilt trip soon and

just enjoy!

>

> Inger

December 23, 2004

Sounds good, Ilah. You're all Aspie logic, as far as I can see.